First of all, I realize I'm not sure how to spell doozy. -y? -ie?
Anyway. I got this Facebook invitation to a coworker's wedding celebration today - they are having a DW (completely private, only the two of them) in Rome this fall. At some point they're also having a fake-ceremony for immediate family (first strike), and then were going to have an informal reception at home for friends and family. The fake-ceremony bothers me, but everyone knows about their planned DW...
The reception at home (now is actually happening BEFORE their real or fake duplicate ceremony...) is a baseball game in a private box - food and drinks are brought in and the ticket includes all of the food and drinks.
Since I like this bride, I was planning on overlooking the weirdness of the two ceremonies and the timing of the AHR and attending the AHR and possibly her bachelorette (also invited on Facebook).
Then we got the invite/save-the-date on Facebook: (my notes / edited information in parenthesis)
"Instead of a traditional wedding, we are running away to Europe to get married all by ourselves. However, we still want to celebrate with all of you! We have reserved the (box) at the baseball game on (the date), 2014 and would like all of you to join us for the game. In lieu of gifts (this is the first problem!), we are asking that everyone who would like to attend pay for their tickets. (Say WHAT?) Tickets are $__ and include all you can eat and ALL YOU CAN DRINK (classy capitalization) pop, water, and BEER (classy again)! Kids are welcome, but please note that there is unlimited beer for guests over 21..... We do have to order and pay for tickets in advance, so I will be sending out invitations and RSVP cards in the near future. As of now we have space for 75, and we will reserve tickets for people in the order that we receive payment for the tickets (so no guarantee that all those invited can actually attend...). Please send your payment for tickets with the RSVP card or use Paypal to send money to (bride's email address). Also, please send your address to the bride."
68 people on Facebook were invited... not including my husband (awkward) and I'm guessing she has some relatives/friends who aren't on FB either, so she probably has invited WAY past her capacity, can't squeeze people in because they each need a ticket (that they have to buy!) and are asking their friends to pay for their wedding celebration.
She does think (and has said) that "her family and friends don't care about all of the old etiquette rules"... I can't speak for all of her friends/family, but I do.
Needless to say, we won't be attending. H and I will have "plans" that night. Work may be awkward.