Woe is Me: No Gift Edition

Re: Woe is Me: No Gift Edition

• huskypuppy14 member

  

  May 2014

  flantastic said:

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  I'll be honest, the only people whom I remember NOT giving us gifts are the people BSC granny INSISTED we invite because they'd 'give you nice cheques.'

  
  

  I didn't expect cheques (or gifts), and DH would have invited those people without her insisting on it, but I found the irony amusing.

  A hill that I came close to dying on were all the FIL family friends who I had NEVER EVER MET OR HEARD OF BEFORE THIS WEDDING even after 6 years with FI. Some were important to FI growing up, so fine, happy to meet you at my wedding, I guess. Others were not so important to FI. These people of course must be invited so that FMIL looks good socially, which of course she never said directly. I kept pressing for a compelling reason, and the only one I'd get was "Well, they probably won't come all the way from here to your hometown anyway, but they'll send a nice gift."

  I don't give a shit about the gifts. In my mind, "they don't care enough about FI to come but they'll feel the social pressure to send a nice gift because they're well-off" is one of the worst reasons to invite someone to my wedding.

  FI and I did manage to cut some. FMIL kept pressuring us for her "number" she could invite (um, no one unless you're paying, which you aren't) and it was important to me that FI and I be able to personally do the inviting. FMIL's mistake was giving us her "wish list"... so we had the names and could add or not add people to the guest list as we saw fit.
  

  Oh man, my FMIL was like that too. It's like keeping up with the Jones.  Oh so and so invited us to their daughter's wedding, so we have to invite them too. 

  No. If these are your good friends, that is fine, but we are not inviting someone just because you feel you have to repay the favor.

  
  

   We did allow her everyone she asked to invite the first time. We did not allow her to add any more people after that. 

  
  

  She also wanted to host an engagement party, "because you'll get a lot of gifts''. FI finally said, "we are not getting married to get gifts". 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• sarahonlife member

  

  May 2014

  I never knew before joining wedding boards that people care about cards. I read them, think "Aw, nice" then toss them. They can accomplish the same with a "What a great day!" and a hug on their way out.

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