I hate my FI's Best Man!

stefaniewattie · October 2011

This is terrible of me, but I need to vent.
My fiance moved here about 6 months before we met because of a lack of work in his hometown. He left behind a very close knit group of friends, we met, started dating, moved in together, got engaged, had a little one and are getting married now. Hes lived here for over 3 years. Hes loves living here and we dont have any intention of ever moving back to his hometown, theres no work there, for either of us, we have built our family here and we are happy.
His best man well call him..Ian. hates that - of all of FIs friends, he is now the only one left there, the rest followed Kev and moved here to make money and have now put down roots.
Every time we speak to him he asks when KEVIN is moving back..not all 3 of us..just him..

Then..well, long story short, he was bashing where I live on facebook, FI had commented on it and BM had started in his "move baaaack" speeches. I commented "you should move out here, lots of work..etc"
Needless to say he took it too far, he told me to keep our son and send Kevin home

There are two best men in our wedding, FI couldnt chose between this guy and another, so he had them both.. In my opinion "Ian" is NOT a best man.. your best man is supposed to be your biggest support other than your wife, not the guy telling you to ditch your family and come home so he has someone to be a bum with and get high..(hes still living like theyre in highschool)
what do I do???

FI has talked to him, and "ian" apologized to me..his idea of an apology was "im sorry you didnt take my joke the right way"
im at a lose about what to do

Aarm89 · May 2014

Sounds similar to what I'm going through now. I posted a pic of me and my FI on Facebook during a recent trip to my hometown. My aunt commented on it saying she loved how I was showing him everything fun about "hometown". My FI's groomsmen posted saying F*** everything "hometown". I told my FI how upset I was and didn't want him in the wedding party if eh way going to make comments like that. (He also asked if everyone in the area had AIDS when he found out the wedding would be in my hometown). When my FI called to talk to him about it his idea of an "apology" was pretty much saying "I meant everything I said lol. Sorry your family saw the work f***. Nice try with FI you'll have to try harder next time". I'm so mad and upset and I don't know whAt to do.

beethery · May 2014

You can't choose your FI's friends, but boy howdy, are they assholes! Other than the wedding you probably won't have to deal with them too much.

Talk to your FIs about getting their dudes to at least be polite to you. Those guys might be the best men, but you're going to be the wife. You don't have to be friends, but they do not have leeway to treat you like shit. If they can't get it together after that, tell the troublemakers to fuck themselves.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

stefaniewattie said:
This is terrible of me, but I need to vent.
My fiance moved here about 6 months before we met because of a lack of work in his hometown. He left behind a very close knit group of friends, we met, started dating, moved in together, got engaged, had a little one and are getting married now. Hes lived here for over 3 years. Hes loves living here and we dont have any intention of ever moving back to his hometown, theres no work there, for either of us, we have built our family here and we are happy.
His best man well call him..Ian. hates that - of all of FIs friends, he is now the only one left there, the rest followed Kev and moved here to make money and have now put down roots.
Every time we speak to him he asks when KEVIN is moving back..not all 3 of us..just him.. Then..well, long story short, he was bashing where I live on facebook, FI had commented on it and BM had started in his "move baaaack" speeches. I commented "you should move out here, lots of work..etc"
Needless to say he took it too far, he told me to keep our son and send Kevin home
There are two best men in our wedding, FI couldnt chose between this guy and another, so he had them both.. In my opinion "Ian" is NOT a best man.. your best man is supposed to be your biggest support other than your wife, not the guy telling you to ditch your family and come home so he has someone to be a bum with and get high..(hes still living like theyre in highschool)
what do I do??? FI has talked to him, and "ian" apologized to me..his idea of an apology was "im sorry you didnt take my joke the right way"
im at a lose about what to do

Aarm89 said:
Sounds similar to what I'm going through now. I posted a pic of me and my FI on Facebook during a recent trip to my hometown. My aunt commented on it saying she loved how I was showing him everything fun about "hometown". My FI's groomsmen posted saying F*** everything "hometown". I told my FI how upset I was and didn't want him in the wedding party if eh way going to make comments like that. (He also asked if everyone in the area had AIDS when he found out the wedding would be in my hometown). When my FI called to talk to him about it his idea of an "apology" was pretty much saying "I meant everything I said lol. Sorry your family saw the work f***. Nice try with FI you'll have to try harder next time". I'm so mad and upset and I don't know whAt to do.

In both cases, you do nothing. Your FI's BM choice is his, not yours.

Why your FI would choose someone who so obviously disrespect his relationship is another question, and one you should direct to him.

Kauris · May 2014

@knotporscha. Zombie thread....

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

Awwww, fuck, I got tricked.

I hate my FI's Best Man!

Re: I hate my FI's Best Man!

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