White on guests...

Marzipan13 · May 2014

I've never understood the "don't wear (insert color here) to a wedding" rule... seems outdated in this day & age, IMO. I wore a deep red dress to a friend's Christmastime wedding, since I / FI / others were doing the music for their ceremony.

That being said, I personally opt NOT to prominently wear white / ivory to a wedding, out of respect for the bride, and also so I wouldn't stain it with red wine / pasta / you never know.

phira · May 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

DragonBlood13 said:

mrshutzler said:

I disagree that a wedding is just like any other event. Your average sioreé is not so loaded with symbolism, meaning and tradition.

I also want to touch on this. A wedding CEREMONY isn't just any other event. I can agree with that. That is why in my circle, most people wear a pantsuit or a dress with a jacket to the ceremony and then change in between to cocktail attire.

The RECEPTION is just a party. It's a party for your guests. There is no more meaning behind that. It's just a party.

In my circle, no one changes in between the ceremony and the reception. If we are going to a formal, evening reception then we dress accordingly and head to the ceremony. No one shows up in clubwear or black tie attire, but we just don't change. We don't typically have gaps between the ceremony and the reception either.

So in that respect, I see no difference between how I would dress to attend a wedding and how I would dress to attend the opera- although depending on the opera venue I might dress up much more than a wedding. But at the opera I'm not going around judging other women because they chose to wear a particular color. That was the point of my comment.

Is there religious/spiritual/sentimental meaning behind a weding ceremony that isn't present at an opera performance? Sure. But are there vastly different sartorial rules and taboo colors? Nope, not to my mind. No legitimate reason for them, other than women choosing to propagate those rules at one event (the wedding) and not the other (the opera).

I think this is a great point. I dress up for a wedding like I do for stuff like going to the opera or the symphony. It depends a lot on the season (I'm not wearing tights in the summer and I'm not wearing a summery dress in January), and the venue, and the level of formality changes a little depending on the particular event (e.g. I'll dress up more for the opera when I know my partner's boss will be there, and I'll dress up less if it's an undergraduate production). But there's no rule that says, "No white at the opera."

I will not wear white to most weddings, but it's not because I think it's inappropriate. It's partially because, well, folks I do not look so good in white (y'all wonder why I'm not wearing white?). But it's also because I know that a lot of other people will be uncomfortable. I wish people would get over it and not care, but I want to avoid having everyone too busy judging me for my attire choices to notice the couple we're supposed to be honoring.

Jen4948 · May 2014

White on someone other than the bride at a wedding doesn't bother me unless the other person can be mistaken for the bride. This outfit definitely doesn't sound bridal. It actually sounds quite classy.

kitsunegari89 · May 2014

phira said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

scrunchythief said:

I don't have a problem with colors, as long as it's not SUPER bridal looking. And then, it's more because I know other people will side-eye it, than that I actually care.

However, getting a group together, independent of the bridal party, to all wear the same color on purpose, does strike me as a little odd. Not necessarily bad etiquette, but odd. It reminds me of when I traveled with my family and we all wore bright red t-shirts so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd.

YES. It's definitely something really weird.

Yeah, like I didn't really care that much. I had a great time. I just thought it was weird and vaguely irritating, but then I moved on immediately because I had to make the rounds. I had a receiving line, but everyone still made me pose for pictures with them the whole night. I didn't even have time to eat, much less agonize over someone's dress color. I felt like one of the Disney princess actors.

I appreciate you so hard right now because you just articulated something I've been expecting and kind of dreading.

Yeah, I did the receiving line in an effort to avoid a line of people forming at the reception, but it was no use. Everyone wanted pictures, which was flattering, but I was starving by the end of the night. Hubs, however, ate roast beef sandwiches and crab dip the entire night with impunity. Nobody wanted pictures with him. I would even go so far as to say that it is inevitable that you will not have a minute of downtime at your reception and you should go ahead and make peace with it. Be sure you at least eat a good breakfast. I was lucky my dad basically coerced me into to eating an egg and bacon sandwich that he made for me, or I probably would have been down for the count before we cut the cake (which I never had time to eat either) Have the caterer put together a goodie basket for afterwards. You'll be starving, promise. My reasoning for being zen about this is that the wedding isn't about the groom or the bride (I mean it is sortof...); it's really about the family and friends supporting the groom and bride. This reality shoots down all the special snowflakes that think it's all about them... it really isn't!

l9i · May 2014

My mother will be wearing an outfit similar to described in the initial post - a black pant suit with a white and black sparkly jacket. She was reluctant to get it because of the white but I think it looks wonderful and it more black than white anyways. Our colors are black and white with touches of red for a evening wedding so I felt what she picked will look wonderful. The only time a color has ever bothered me is if they wear an all white dress, no print, no pops of color, just solid white (which I've only seen once). It irks me, I side eye it, but I get over it. I think anything is fine really as long as it is appropriate. I think I'd be most annoyed by someone that wore jeans to our wedding (it's evening and more formal than casual) than a certain color of dress... but that's just me.

pinkshorts27 · May 2014

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

scrunchythief said:

I don't have a problem with colors, as long as it's not SUPER bridal looking. And then, it's more because I know other people will side-eye it, than that I actually care.

However, getting a group together, independent of the bridal party, to all wear the same color on purpose, does strike me as a little odd. Not necessarily bad etiquette, but odd. It reminds me of when I traveled with my family and we all wore bright red t-shirts so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd.

YES. It's definitely something really weird.

Yeah, like I didn't really care that much. I had a great time. I just thought it was weird and vaguely irritating, but then I moved on immediately because I had to make the rounds. I had a receiving line, but everyone still made me pose for pictures with them the whole night. I didn't even have time to eat, much less agonize over someone's dress color. I felt like one of the Disney princess actors.

I appreciate you so hard right now because you just articulated something I've been expecting and kind of dreading.

Yeah, I did the receiving line in an effort to avoid a line of people forming at the reception, but it was no use. Everyone wanted pictures, which was flattering, but I was starving by the end of the night. Hubs, however, ate roast beef sandwiches and crab dip the entire night with impunity. Nobody wanted pictures with him. I would even go so far as to say that it is inevitable that you will not have a minute of downtime at your reception and you should go ahead and make peace with it. Be sure you at least eat a good breakfast. I was lucky my dad basically coerced me into to eating an egg and bacon sandwich that he made for me, or I probably would have been down for the count before we cut the cake (which I never had time to eat either) Have the caterer put together a goodie basket for afterwards. You'll be starving, promise. My reasoning for being zen about this is that the wedding isn't about the groom or the bride (I mean it is sortof...); it's really about the family and friends supporting the groom and bride. This reality shoots down all the special snowflakes that think it's all about them... it really isn't!

No. I am having rolls, a small portion of steak, and some salmon before I get up to do things with people. We paid so goddamn much for delicious food that I am going to eat some of it. But we are doing a sit down meal so I think we can get away with a little food before table visits. And we already have plans to have food boxed for us to eat at the hotel because I'm sure we won't get a full meal and FI is always hungry, skinny bastard.

DaisyMaeMommy · May 2014

If someone wears white to my wedding, who cares?

I'm still the bride.

Maggie0829 · May 2014

pinkshorts27 said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

scrunchythief said:

I don't have a problem with colors, as long as it's not SUPER bridal looking. And then, it's more because I know other people will side-eye it, than that I actually care.

However, getting a group together, independent of the bridal party, to all wear the same color on purpose, does strike me as a little odd. Not necessarily bad etiquette, but odd. It reminds me of when I traveled with my family and we all wore bright red t-shirts so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd.

YES. It's definitely something really weird.

Yeah, like I didn't really care that much. I had a great time. I just thought it was weird and vaguely irritating, but then I moved on immediately because I had to make the rounds. I had a receiving line, but everyone still made me pose for pictures with them the whole night. I didn't even have time to eat, much less agonize over someone's dress color. I felt like one of the Disney princess actors.

I appreciate you so hard right now because you just articulated something I've been expecting and kind of dreading.

Yeah, I did the receiving line in an effort to avoid a line of people forming at the reception, but it was no use. Everyone wanted pictures, which was flattering, but I was starving by the end of the night. Hubs, however, ate roast beef sandwiches and crab dip the entire night with impunity. Nobody wanted pictures with him. I would even go so far as to say that it is inevitable that you will not have a minute of downtime at your reception and you should go ahead and make peace with it. Be sure you at least eat a good breakfast. I was lucky my dad basically coerced me into to eating an egg and bacon sandwich that he made for me, or I probably would have been down for the count before we cut the cake (which I never had time to eat either) Have the caterer put together a goodie basket for afterwards. You'll be starving, promise. My reasoning for being zen about this is that the wedding isn't about the groom or the bride (I mean it is sortof...); it's really about the family and friends supporting the groom and bride. This reality shoots down all the special snowflakes that think it's all about them... it really isn't!

No. I am having rolls, a small portion of steak, and some salmon before I get up to do things with people. We paid so goddamn much for delicious food that I am going to eat some of it. But we are doing a sit down meal so I think we can get away with a little food before table visits. And we already have plans to have food boxed for us to eat at the hotel because I'm sure we won't get a full meal and FI is always hungry, skinny bastard.

I made sure H and I had down time. H and I sat down and we ate (a lot) food and had time to talk with our parents who sat with us. I'm sorry, any couple who says that "you won't have time to breathe or eat" or whatever just didn't make themselves a priority. It is in no way rude for you and your SO to prioritize 30 minutes or whatever set amount of time to sitting down and eating a meal. All your other guests are doing the same damn thing at the same time so finding some time to eat really isn't that difficult, especially when the couple typically gets their food first.

kitsunegari89 · May 2014

pinkshorts27 said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

scrunchythief said:

I don't have a problem with colors, as long as it's not SUPER bridal looking. And then, it's more because I know other people will side-eye it, than that I actually care.

However, getting a group together, independent of the bridal party, to all wear the same color on purpose, does strike me as a little odd. Not necessarily bad etiquette, but odd. It reminds me of when I traveled with my family and we all wore bright red t-shirts so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd.

YES. It's definitely something really weird.

Yeah, like I didn't really care that much. I had a great time. I just thought it was weird and vaguely irritating, but then I moved on immediately because I had to make the rounds. I had a receiving line, but everyone still made me pose for pictures with them the whole night. I didn't even have time to eat, much less agonize over someone's dress color. I felt like one of the Disney princess actors.

I appreciate you so hard right now because you just articulated something I've been expecting and kind of dreading.

Yeah, I did the receiving line in an effort to avoid a line of people forming at the reception, but it was no use. Everyone wanted pictures, which was flattering, but I was starving by the end of the night. Hubs, however, ate roast beef sandwiches and crab dip the entire night with impunity. Nobody wanted pictures with him. I would even go so far as to say that it is inevitable that you will not have a minute of downtime at your reception and you should go ahead and make peace with it. Be sure you at least eat a good breakfast. I was lucky my dad basically coerced me into to eating an egg and bacon sandwich that he made for me, or I probably would have been down for the count before we cut the cake (which I never had time to eat either) Have the caterer put together a goodie basket for afterwards. You'll be starving, promise. My reasoning for being zen about this is that the wedding isn't about the groom or the bride (I mean it is sortof...); it's really about the family and friends supporting the groom and bride. This reality shoots down all the special snowflakes that think it's all about them... it really isn't!

No. I am having rolls, a small portion of steak, and some salmon before I get up to do things with people. We paid so goddamn much for delicious food that I am going to eat some of it. But we are doing a sit down meal so I think we can get away with a little food before table visits. And we already have plans to have food boxed for us to eat at the hotel because I'm sure we won't get a full meal and FI is always hungry, skinny bastard.

I had similar plans. They just didn't happen. Good luck! And we definitely enjoyed the food... just later on after the reception. The caterer packed up enough to have for several days, so we didn't miss out. I did sit down for about 8 minutes to eat some berries and a finger sandwich and some crackers, but I didn't want my mouth full in all my pictures with people. Most of them traveled, too. I didn't have the heart to not talk to folks or take pictures with them, even if it was just for a set amount of time. Plus, I got some really great shots with folks I haven't seen in a long time. I have no regrets.

Inkdancer · May 2014

mrshutzler said:

pinkshorts27 said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

scrunchythief said:

I don't have a problem with colors, as long as it's not SUPER bridal looking. And then, it's more because I know other people will side-eye it, than that I actually care.

However, getting a group together, independent of the bridal party, to all wear the same color on purpose, does strike me as a little odd. Not necessarily bad etiquette, but odd. It reminds me of when I traveled with my family and we all wore bright red t-shirts so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd.

YES. It's definitely something really weird.

Yeah, like I didn't really care that much. I had a great time. I just thought it was weird and vaguely irritating, but then I moved on immediately because I had to make the rounds. I had a receiving line, but everyone still made me pose for pictures with them the whole night. I didn't even have time to eat, much less agonize over someone's dress color. I felt like one of the Disney princess actors.

I appreciate you so hard right now because you just articulated something I've been expecting and kind of dreading.

Yeah, I did the receiving line in an effort to avoid a line of people forming at the reception, but it was no use. Everyone wanted pictures, which was flattering, but I was starving by the end of the night. Hubs, however, ate roast beef sandwiches and crab dip the entire night with impunity. Nobody wanted pictures with him. I would even go so far as to say that it is inevitable that you will not have a minute of downtime at your reception and you should go ahead and make peace with it. Be sure you at least eat a good breakfast. I was lucky my dad basically coerced me into to eating an egg and bacon sandwich that he made for me, or I probably would have been down for the count before we cut the cake (which I never had time to eat either) Have the caterer put together a goodie basket for afterwards. You'll be starving, promise. My reasoning for being zen about this is that the wedding isn't about the groom or the bride (I mean it is sortof...); it's really about the family and friends supporting the groom and bride. This reality shoots down all the special snowflakes that think it's all about them... it really isn't!

No. I am having rolls, a small portion of steak, and some salmon before I get up to do things with people. We paid so goddamn much for delicious food that I am going to eat some of it. But we are doing a sit down meal so I think we can get away with a little food before table visits. And we already have plans to have food boxed for us to eat at the hotel because I'm sure we won't get a full meal and FI is always hungry, skinny bastard.

I had similar plans. They just didn't happen. Good luck! And we definitely enjoyed the food... just later on after the reception. The caterer packed up enough to have for several days, so we didn't miss out. I did sit down for about 8 minutes to eat some berries and a finger sandwich and some crackers, but I didn't want my mouth full in all my pictures with people. Most of them traveled, too. I didn't have the heart to not talk to folks or take pictures with them, even if it was just for a set amount of time. Plus, I got some really great shots with folks I haven't seen in a long time. I have no regrets.

I will have lots of regrets if I don't make it to the mac'n'cheese bar.

kitsunegari89 · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

mrshutzler said:

pinkshorts27 said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

mrshutzler said:

phira said:

scrunchythief said:

I don't have a problem with colors, as long as it's not SUPER bridal looking. And then, it's more because I know other people will side-eye it, than that I actually care.

However, getting a group together, independent of the bridal party, to all wear the same color on purpose, does strike me as a little odd. Not necessarily bad etiquette, but odd. It reminds me of when I traveled with my family and we all wore bright red t-shirts so we wouldn't lose each other in a crowd.

YES. It's definitely something really weird.

Yeah, like I didn't really care that much. I had a great time. I just thought it was weird and vaguely irritating, but then I moved on immediately because I had to make the rounds. I had a receiving line, but everyone still made me pose for pictures with them the whole night. I didn't even have time to eat, much less agonize over someone's dress color. I felt like one of the Disney princess actors.

I appreciate you so hard right now because you just articulated something I've been expecting and kind of dreading.

Yeah, I did the receiving line in an effort to avoid a line of people forming at the reception, but it was no use. Everyone wanted pictures, which was flattering, but I was starving by the end of the night. Hubs, however, ate roast beef sandwiches and crab dip the entire night with impunity. Nobody wanted pictures with him. I would even go so far as to say that it is inevitable that you will not have a minute of downtime at your reception and you should go ahead and make peace with it. Be sure you at least eat a good breakfast. I was lucky my dad basically coerced me into to eating an egg and bacon sandwich that he made for me, or I probably would have been down for the count before we cut the cake (which I never had time to eat either) Have the caterer put together a goodie basket for afterwards. You'll be starving, promise. My reasoning for being zen about this is that the wedding isn't about the groom or the bride (I mean it is sortof...); it's really about the family and friends supporting the groom and bride. This reality shoots down all the special snowflakes that think it's all about them... it really isn't!

No. I am having rolls, a small portion of steak, and some salmon before I get up to do things with people. We paid so goddamn much for delicious food that I am going to eat some of it. But we are doing a sit down meal so I think we can get away with a little food before table visits. And we already have plans to have food boxed for us to eat at the hotel because I'm sure we won't get a full meal and FI is always hungry, skinny bastard.

I had similar plans. They just didn't happen. Good luck! And we definitely enjoyed the food... just later on after the reception. The caterer packed up enough to have for several days, so we didn't miss out. I did sit down for about 8 minutes to eat some berries and a finger sandwich and some crackers, but I didn't want my mouth full in all my pictures with people. Most of them traveled, too. I didn't have the heart to not talk to folks or take pictures with them, even if it was just for a set amount of time. Plus, I got some really great shots with folks I haven't seen in a long time. I have no regrets.

I will have lots of regrets if I don't make it to the mac'n'cheese bar.

Boromir macaroni - ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK TO THE MAC'N'CHEESE BAR Boromir

White on guests...

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