I will likely catch flak for this, and thats ok. But I'm really torn on this! My FMIL AND my FH both think we need one. Also, my mother isn't saying we should or shouldn't, simply saying "well your dad and I had one, and so did both of your aunts".
And I will say this, in the beginning I was 150% on a NOOOO! But after spending so much money, and having over 20 people back out with a week to my wedding....... I'm feeling like I need to do something to recoup some cash. And when the most important people in my life are asking me to do it, and telling me its ok.....its hard for me to justify it being so wrong or "tacky" as others put it.... And I do have to agree with that......But it was also super tacky of my "friends" to bail after their meal had been paid for! And I can almost guarantee that not ONE of them will be sending a gift (not that I expected a gift in return for their time or food...but when you cant even show up to EAT the food I bought you!) I'm just so frustrated and feel the well running dry! We ended up having to put some of this on a credit card, because our guest list was bigger than what we thought, but then shrunk back down to what we had originally planned for...but its too late, we cant get our money back. over 1,000 dollars....WASTED! Sorry, I guess I really just needed one more place to vent....I more than likely wont do a dollar dance, for the obvious and not so obvious reasons....I just don't like dancing with people I've not danced with before (like close friends). Sorry to be a big cry baby.....
Re: Tacky Money dance
It's just not appropriate to expect your guests to pay for anything at your wedding, whether that's for a dollar dance, cash bar, parking, or any other amenity. I'm sorry that you lost money, but it's not okay to expect your guests to pay you to recoup cash.
Talk to your venue about putting the money from those former's guests meals towards something else, like upgraded appetizers or a second dessert.
Just because some important people are telling you to do something, does not mean you should do it. The important people in my friend's life told her that she should get married before she gets too old or he loses interest. He treated her like crap and now they're divorced. True story. Ignore what they say and do what you know is right.
I agree with PP's about seeing if the extra cash can be put towards an upgrade.
*hugs* Breath. It will all work out.
And working a part time isn't really an option as I am a stay at home mom of two boys, 2 and 4. And FH job is like a contract work. So his hours variety from week to week, day to day.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
No, not directly, but you said the following:
"But it was also super tacky of my "friends" to bail after their meal had been paid for! And I can almost guarantee that not ONE of them will be sending a gift (not that I expected a gift in return for their time or food...but when you cant even show up to EAT the food I bought you!) I'm just so frustrated and feel the well running dry! "
and
"But after spending so much money, and having over 20 people back out with a week to my wedding....... I'm feeling like I need to do something to recoup some cash."
It pretty much sounds like you are pissed that they aren't coming, because you were hoping you would recoup some of the money if they came.
The well was going to be dry whether they show up or not. I can understand being bummed that they backed out after the catering numbers are in, but you determined how dry the well would be when you increased your guest list in the first place.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
If you need extra cash you can...
-hold a yard sale
-sell stuff on ebay
-donate to Goodwill (or a similar place) and take the tax reduction
-baby-sit Having your own kids is no excuse. Your Fi or parents can spend quality time with the kids while you do this. $25 for one evening just 4 times a month can get you $100. Do this for a year and you'll have made your money back while helping out another family in need. Win win.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
I had to have MANY conversations with friends and family about why I wasn't doing the money dance. they just didn't get it. "But it's a TRADITION!!!"
I cringe when people say "I made X dollars". People shouldn't be looking at their wedding like a fundraiser.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
After all of the nagging, I finally said something like "Why don't you just make sure we have a stripper pole in the middle of the dance floor, and I'll show a little ass and dance to "make it rain".
that finally shut some people up.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/