So my inlaws drove us nuts to get engaged. After we got engaged they disengaged from us. They don’t ask about the wedding, don’t offer to help and have contributed nothing (we are funding wedding ourselves). My family hosted a engagement party they initially wouldn’t attend and then after changing their mind and going never thanked my family and they even saw them a week later (and they ignored them then). Ive made up crafting days so my FMIL can have something to be involved in, sent emails detailing their involvement ( rehearsal attendance, dress/tux shopping) etc., and it still isn’t enough as I recently found out they have been gossiping to another family member behind my back. Apparently they are mad they are not planning the wedding as they assumed they would (?) and are upset my FMIL isn’t in the wedding (Fiances mom is passed, FMIL has been in family for 15 years since fiancé was 25). Apparently they have complaints about now walking in the wedding which I thought would make them feel included, are upset my FMIL isn’t coming on my bachelorette (a resort trip and she has a alcohol problem) and routinely call this family member to gossip. The gossip is down to comparing notes on whether everyone got a text message I sent regarding my attire, and what day they are supposed to be at the venue and how we don’t provide information (which we have been over numerous times). I should add my FMIL complains almost every time we are together about the hassle of getting time off for the wedding and purchased a rather outlandish dress alone after I asked seriously 5 times to take her shopping. And lastly when I had a dinner with my bridal party she was upset and complaining about not being invited. My theory is why would I invite you to a dinner where I am asking other people to be part of the bridal party that you are not part of? To me that is rude. Lastly the only thing they have offered to do is assist with a craft item for the wedding. After complaining about how much time it will take her to complete I did 90% and am leaving the “finishing” work for her. So basically it was no help anyways.
Please help Im losing patience.