Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.

tally7 · October 2012

lol don't ask this question here ppl hate the idea - just do what you want as far as an officiant just get one and tell them the situation
Happy Planning !!!

By the way in NYC you can have up to TWO ceremonies - I did this small wedding then large wedding and we legally had TWO ceremonies - went to the city clerk's office and had to get a license again for the second wedding because there was a SECOND officiant - all legit people do this all the time - its not an issue

I guess the NYC City Clerk's office is committing a faux pas - lol

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:fdeb6762-b61e-440b-bb7c-656ac34dba2c">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
[QUOTE]lol don't ask this question here ppl hate the idea - just do what you want as far as an officiant just get one and tell them the situation Happy Planning !!! By the way in NYC you can have up to TWO ceremonies - I did this small wedding then large wedding and we legally had TWO ceremonies - went to the city clerk's office and had to get a license again for the second wedding because there was a SECOND officiant - all legit people do this all the time - its not an issue I guess the NYC City Clerk's office is committing a faux pas - lol
Posted by tally7[/QUOTE]

You now have two marriage licenses on file now then? Does the clerk's office know this because you've created a lot of headaches for yourself down the line.

tally7 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:419b5db1-bb24-4143-a579-f32460febef7">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : You now have two marriage licenses on file now then? Does the clerk's office know this because you've created a lot of headaches for yourself down the line.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

No headaches - <em>two ceremonies</em> its all legit of course they know - it is how it is done - if you get married at the Clerk's Office and then have another ceremony. We didnt do this to fool anyone its the correct way of doing it. Many people get married this way. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

rais0018 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:4b9b411f-b5e2-4632-a8ed-24caff72c163">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : I also hope this was sarcasm. Lying to family and friends is NEVER good advice.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>I wouldn't hide anything from my family like that. I know people who have had destination weddings and then a few months later had a marriage blessing ceremony at a church followed by a reception. I thought it was similar, so I considered it. </div><div>
</div><div>Some things have changed and we've decided until next September to do both, and we're pretty happy about it. I didn't think people responding to my post would be so offended by my question. </div>

rais0018 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:56b32426-9fc0-47cc-a0bb-f04136c5fc39">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with almost everyone here; this is offensive on many levels. Clearly this bears repeating. You are insulting all the people who have chosen a civil ceremony at a courthouse or private ceremony. People get married privately all the time; does this mean that they're not REALLY married, because they didn't have the party??? You are insulting all of the people who cannot be legally married to their partners because the law forbids it. You are insulting your guests and family by expecting them to show up for your 'wedding' as if you weren't actually married. If you tell them, they will side-eye you, and if you don't tell them, you're lying to those closest to you. How is any of this appropriate adult behaviour?
Posted by jennylee813[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Every couple's situation is different and I didn't mean to offend anyone with my question. If you re-read my post, it doesn't say anything about the validity of anyone else's marriage. I want everyone to be able to marry the person they love.</div><div>
</div><div>I wouldn't lie to my family or friends, either. I know that it wouldn't be something to hide because I am an adult. I didn't ask for people to tell me how to lie to my family, I asked for suggestions on how I should plan for next year. </div><div>
</div><div>On a side note, we've decided to wait until to do it all at one time since our circumstances have changed. </div>

SarahN22121 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:caf5fe53-0a0e-40b1-9176-3a0d5f3f060e">Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning on getting legal married before our wedding day for some financial reasons. I was wondering how we would go about having our ceremony officiated on our wedding day next year. I'm not sure what to call it or how it should all be worded. Any advice would be appreciated.
Posted by rais0018[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Don't listen to them, Rais! It's kind of interesting how, whenever anyone posts about doing something nontraditional (having male bridesmaids, having 24 bridesmaids, having only Mom walk you down the aisle), that idea is met with overwhelmingly positive responses. Yet, propose doing something that is different in a SIGNIFICANT way, like you are, and people go nuts.</div><div>
</div><div>There is no requirement that you tell anyone about your civil ceremony. None. This "PPD" or "gift-grabbing" is ridiculousness. You are making the choices that are best for you and your spouse, and if you truly care what a bunch of anonymous bridezillas think about that...well, Rais, STOP CARING. Statistically, half these brides "doing things right" will be divorced within a few years (furthermore, most divorce occurs as a result of financial disputes...you and your fiance are clearly already being careful with your money, so in a way, you're better off) </div><div>
</div><div>Best of luck to you as you go on and do what's best for you and your fiance.

</div>

corinnstyle · June 2014

Wow. I know this is an old thread but I am just now reading it and I am disgusted by the way people are attacking. Nobody knows the specifics of this marriage. As a christian I completely understand because I dont believe the legal side means ANYTHING... People get divorced all the time legally. The only union, wedding, ceremony ( however you want to word it) that matters is between you, your husband and GOD. NOT THE GOVERNMENT.

NYCMercedes · June 2014

@knotporscha Please close this zombie thread, if you ever come back from cleaning up the s***storms on the boards from the weekend.

Jells2dot0 · June 2014

corinnstyle said:
Wow. I know this is an old thread but I am just now reading it and I am disgusted by the way people are attacking. Nobody knows the specifics of this marriage. As a christian I completely understand because I dont believe the legal side means ANYTHING... People get divorced all the time legally. The only union, wedding, ceremony ( however you want to word it) that matters is between you, your husband and GOD. NOT THE GOVERNMENT.

Well, that is a bit short sighted. It's great that you feel so strongly about your religion, but your religious recognition won't get you tax incentives, hospital rights, or insurance coverage. Plus, if you are in the unfortunate position of needing or wanting a divorce, and you're seeking any type of financial support from it, you'll be darn grateful your marriage has legal status with the government (FWIW- I don't believe in spousal support, so I'm not advocating seeking money in a divorce.)

Whether you like it or not, your marriage is a legal contract as well as a spiritual one if you so choose.

CMGragain · June 2014

corinnstyle said:

Wow. I know this is an old thread but I am just now reading it and I am disgusted by the way people are attacking. Nobody knows the specifics of this marriage. As a christian I completely understand because I dont believe the legal side means ANYTHING... People get divorced all the time legally. The only union, wedding, ceremony ( however you want to word it) that matters is between you, your husband and GOD. NOT THE GOVERNMENT.

As long as this zombie thread is open, I just have respond to the previous poster.

I hope you write down what you just naively posted and keep it. Someday, YOU may need to be divorced. If you do, the legal side of your marriage will be very important to you, and any children you might have. The legal side will also be important when it is time for benefits of marriage, like insurance, retirement, social security survivor benefits. Or maybe you would refuse those protections because of your personal (NOT Christian!) beliefs?
How dare you use the Christian religion as an excuse! The Knot is full of Christian ladies who are very devout, but would not support a PPD. I don't mind a different personal opinion, but when you try to justify it using a religion that I practice and support, I call you on it! The opinion you have expressed is not shared by the majority of Christians. Most ministers I know would not perform a ceremony of marriage unless you have a license from the state. Catholic brides cannot do a courthouse legal ceremony, followed by a fake PPD, as their Christian priests are forbidden to do PPDs. Your opinion doesn't count for shit in a court of law. You have made me very angry. I am disgusted with YOU!

Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.

Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.

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