Honeymoon Discussions

No one contributing to our honeyfund..??!!

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Re: No one contributing to our honeyfund..??!!

  • I didn't join The Knot for help planning my wedding (okay, maybe a little)... I joined it to read (and reply to) all your nutty posts. All y'all bridezillas are cray cray.
    Tchavon1984Knottie86243696coleford0aleighbaker
  • mkimitch said:
    I didn't join The Knot for help planning my wedding (okay, maybe a little)... I joined it to read (and reply to) all your nutty posts. All y'all bridezillas are cray cray.
    @KnotPorscha
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    I think it depends on the replies this poster gives.  She sounds like she is trolling and announcing her intentions in advance.  Let KP decide.
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  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I'm more concerned about HoneymoonsInc up there. She's mentioned on more than one occasion that she's a travel agent and has posted her website. @KnotPorscha‌
  • Don't we have real problems to worry about? 

    I just received a wedding invitation from a VERY traditional family- and what was inside?? Registry information!! It's convenient that I can choose to use it or not, and I don't have to bother them to ask for it. 

    If people think your honeyfund is rude, they're free not to contribute. I bit the bullet and told my guests that while gifts are not expected in any way, but if they insist, cash or a surprise would be appreciated. I, too, have a house full of stuff and simply don't need any more. If they thought it was rude, then they're not the type of people I want at my reception- or as friends. It doesn't hurt anyone to ask for cash or a honeyfund- so if it offends you that much, it's your problem- not mine! I'd rather be honest and "rude" than to waste my time being offended by something that doesn't matter in the end! (OMG, I can't believe they had the NERVE to tell me they'd rather have cash than a mixing bowl!)

    People don't usually give gifts before the wedding- I think you'll get more right before or after. 
    Putting aside the absurdity of the rest of your post, the bolded is one of many reasons why honeymoon registries are stupid.  You won't know until right before you leave whether you have the money to afford your vacation or not.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Let's just let this stupid thread die.  There is nothing more to say.  Yawn.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'm more concerned about HoneymoonsInc up there. She's mentioned on more than one occasion that she's a travel agent and has posted her website. @KnotPorscha‌
    I first clicked on this thread earlier cause I saw the username and thought it was a vendor. And now that I'm home, there is at least one post where she's hawking her site. 

    @HoneymoonsInc You should change your username. The TOS does not permit vendors, and I think having a user name the exact same as your website is pretty vendorie. By all means, keep giving advice based on your experience as a travel agent when relevant (I certainly give mattress advice whenever anyone asks) but you shouldn't selling your site. If someone pm's you for details/more info, go get that money, but you shouldn't be posting it on the public forums.
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    Anniversary
  • I feel as though honeymoon funds are only okay if you are registering through your resort or destination for specific activities that you and your fiance can enjoy together. Not just having your guest pay for the whole trip. I rather pay for the couple to go horseback riding, zip lining, or a couples massage than to give them $50 to go to the lump sum of the trip.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'm a dude, yo.
  • Almost every one of my friends who have gotten married in the past couple of years have used a honeymoon fund registry, in addition to a few other registries (target, rei, macy's, etc.). I've also had number of friends (who aren't married or engaged just yet) recommend that I do a honeymoon fund registry for my wedding.

    I guess such a thing comes down to who your friends are... snobby, arrogant, yuppies? Or down-to-earth, awesome people, who just want you to be happy?
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mkimitch said:
    Almost every one of my friends who have gotten married in the past couple of years have used a honeymoon fund registry, in addition to a few other registries (target, rei, macy's, etc.). I've also had number of friends (who aren't married or engaged just yet) recommend that I do a honeymoon fund registry for my wedding.

    I guess such a thing comes down to who your friends are... snobby, arrogant, yuppies? Or down-to-earth, awesome people, who just want you to be happy?
    So people that don't want to get ripped off by fees (because not all of the money you donate actually goes to the couple) are snobby and arrogant? Got it. 
    You know what's arrogant? Asking your friends and family for cash. 

  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Thank god they recently did the honeymoon jar thread for the newsletter, or else this would be ALL over it...

    For lurkers: Honeyfunds are rude because asking for cash is rude. RECEIVING cash is not rude. GIVING cash is not rude. ASKING for cash is rude. Honeyfunds are additionally bullshit because most have hidden fees, and because they purport to be funding a specific part of your trip, but actually just cut you a check later. 

    More for lurkers: PLEASE ACTUALLY LURK. If you search "honeyfund" or "honeymoon registry" you will find many, MANY threads that detail why these are considered tacky. So don't be surprised if you hop on The Knot for the first time, ask a question, then get "jumped on" by people who have answered the same shit over and over again. 

    FOR ALL HUMANS: Your opinion is irrelevant in matters of fact. If something is against etiquette, saying "I disagree" does not make it suddenly okay. It just means you have an opinion. Etiquette is A Thing That Exists, and although it certainly evolves over time, it does not bend because you want it to. It does not accommodate you if you disagree. You may do what you choose, but most people around here are not going to tell you your rude idea is not rude. The sky is always blue, up is not down, and you are not special. The end.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    chibiyuiShesSoColdtheartistformerlyknownascosenti7
  • mkimitch said:
    Almost every one of my friends who have gotten married in the past couple of years have used a honeymoon fund registry, in addition to a few other registries (target, rei, macy's, etc.). I've also had number of friends (who aren't married or engaged just yet) recommend that I do a honeymoon fund registry for my wedding.

    I guess such a thing comes down to who your friends are... snobby, arrogant, yuppies? Or down-to-earth, awesome people, who just want you to be happy?
    More like selfish, greedy, entitled, inconsiderate people who only think of themselves and have no regard for their guests.
    KatWAG
  • Holy crap!  There is being sure about your position and then there is being a bitch.  And MOST of the responses to the original post were SUPER bitchy.  Seriously, we're all "ladies" here, or at least we are supposed to be.  Even if you feel the original poster is breaching etiquette, how is it proper to respond with viciousness, name calling and nastiness????

    If there is one thing I hate the most, it's people who get on their soap box and start preaching without knowing all the facts or worse, stating untruths.

    #1 - did I miss the part where the original poster said she couldn't afford the honeymoon without the Honeyfund gifts?  How do you know that she and her future husband didn't already pay for the whole trip and they are just open to additional add-ons as gifts?

    #2 - As a current user of Honeyfund, I can tell you that the fee is not 7%, nor is it 5.95%, in fact it is currently 2.8% with a 30 cent fee per transaction.  And most importantly, I AM COVERING ALL THE FEES, NOT MY GUESTS.  So they are not being charged a fee, I am paying the transaction fees and I don't care that they are taking $3 out of every $100. 

    I'm not trying to change your mind about Honeyfund, just like a bunch of random people on a website aren't going to change my mind about it.  But please, if you plan on pretending like the expert on all things wedding, get your facts straight.  And while you're at it, try reading a book on arguing your position like a decent human being instead of a piece of shit.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    aleighbaker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2014

    Holy crap!  There is being sure about your position and then there is being a bitch.  And MOST of the responses to the original post were SUPER bitchy.  Seriously, we're all "ladies" here, or at least we are supposed to be.  Even if you feel the original poster is breaching etiquette, how is it proper to respond with viciousness, name calling and nastiness????

    If there is one thing I hate the most, it's people who get on their soap box and start preaching without knowing all the facts or worse, stating untruths.

    #1 - did I miss the part where the original poster said she couldn't afford the honeymoon without the Honeyfund gifts?  How do you know that she and her future husband didn't already pay for the whole trip and they are just open to additional add-ons as gifts?

    #2 - As a current user of Honeyfund, I can tell you that the fee is not 7%, nor is it 5.95%, in fact it is currently 2.8% with a 30 cent fee per transaction.  And most importantly, I AM COVERING ALL THE FEES, NOT MY GUESTS.  So they are not being charged a fee, I am paying the transaction fees and I don't care that they are taking $3 out of every $100. 

    I'm not trying to change your mind about Honeyfund, just like a bunch of random people on a website aren't going to change my mind about it.  But please, if you plan on pretending like the expert on all things wedding, get your facts straight.  And while you're at it, try reading a book on arguing your position like a decent human being instead of a piece of shit.

    I'm sorry but I just don't understand this way of thinking.  Why would you want to pay money to receive money?  That just doesn't make sense!

    Edited to add, the fees vary from honeyfund to honeyfund so yeah there are some sites out there that charge 7% fees for using their site.

    misshart00chibiyui
  • mkimitch said:
    Almost every one of my friends who have gotten married in the past couple of years have used a honeymoon fund registry, in addition to a few other registries (target, rei, macy's, etc.). I've also had number of friends (who aren't married or engaged just yet) recommend that I do a honeymoon fund registry for my wedding.

    I guess such a thing comes down to who your friends are... snobby, arrogant, yuppies? Or down-to-earth, awesome people, who just want you to be happy?
    I'm a down-to-earth, awesome person who wants my friends to be happy and enjoy EVERY PENNY of my wedding gift.  I also don't like being lied to.  This is why I give cash at weddings and think honeyfunds are stupid and rude.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    Maggie0829
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 2014
    Oh good. Double posts.
    GIF TIME
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    Anniversary
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    Holy crap!  There is being sure about your position and then there is being a bitch.  And MOST of the responses to the original post were SUPER bitchy.  Seriously, we're all "ladies" here, or at least we are supposed to be.  Even if you feel the original poster is breaching etiquette, how is it proper to respond with viciousness, name calling and nastiness????

    If there is one thing I hate the most, it's people who get on their soap box and start preaching without knowing all the facts or worse, stating untruths.

    #1 - did I miss the part where the original poster said she couldn't afford the honeymoon without the Honeyfund gifts?  How do you know that she and her future husband didn't already pay for the whole trip and they are just open to additional add-ons as gifts?

    #2 - As a current user of Honeyfund, I can tell you that the fee is not 7%, nor is it 5.95%, in fact it is currently 2.8% with a 30 cent fee per transaction.  And most importantly, I AM COVERING ALL THE FEES, NOT MY GUESTS.  So they are not being charged a fee, I am paying the transaction fees and I don't care that they are taking $3 out of every $100. 

    I'm not trying to change your mind about Honeyfund, just like a bunch of random people on a website aren't going to change my mind about it.  But please, if you plan on pretending like the expert on all things wedding, get your facts straight.  And while you're at it, try reading a book on arguing your position like a decent human being instead of a piece of shit.

    My dear, you are not good with money. You make poor financial decisions. I'm sorry, the truth hurts. Anyone, who would willingly set up an account for possible gifts that you are flat out asking for that skims any amount off the top, is acting in a way that is stupid. Couples for the last hundreds of years have been receiving wedding gifts. And they've been receiving monetary gifts. 20's stuffed in a card and checks were good enough for our parents and their parents, and dammit, they're good enough for you too. Just because something can be done online doesn't mean it's better.
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    Anniversary
    Maggie0829KatWAGthisismynickname2
  • laurakay0705laurakay0705 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    chibiyui said:

      My dear, you are not good with money. You make poor financial decisions. I'm sorry, the truth hurts. Anyone, who would willingly set up an account for possible gifts that you are flat out asking for that skims any amount off the top, is acting in a way that is stupid. Couples for the last hundreds of years have been receiving wedding gifts. And they've been receiving monetary gifts. 20's stuffed in a card and checks were good enough for our parents and their parents, and dammit, they're good enough for you too. Just because something can be done online doesn't mean it's better.

    Ugh!  AGAIN???  Super judgey people on a soap box without knowing squat about me.  Seriously, you are so all-knowing that from a single post on the internet you have surmised that I am "not good with money"  and I "make poor financial decisions"????  That's impressive, you should start some sort of clairvoyant business.

    I'm obviously very good with money and make excellent financial decisions which is why I own my own home at this age and why I even had a house full of everything I need BEFORE I got married.  There will be tons of people who bring cash to the wedding, there will be tons of people that will send cash in the mail.  I also chose to give them the option of sending monetary gifts online for a nominal fee of 2.8% (that I am paying).  You don't seem to have any issue with people paying for shipping and tax on gifts, that's not a poor financial decision in your book, but paying a much smaller fee for a honeyfund transaction makes me bad with my money?????

    You're being stupid, how's that for a sweeping generalization and assumption?

    Disagree with a Honeyfund, but stop calling people names and making declarations about their character and intellect, it only makes you look like a dumbass.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    aleighbaker
  • Holy crap!  There is being sure about your position and then there is being a bitch.  And MOST of the responses to the original post were SUPER bitchy.  Seriously, we're all "ladies" here, or at least we are supposed to be.  Even if you feel the original poster is breaching etiquette, how is it proper to respond with viciousness, name calling and nastiness????

    If there is one thing I hate the most, it's people who get on their soap box and start preaching without knowing all the facts or worse, stating untruths.

    #1 - did I miss the part where the original poster said she couldn't afford the honeymoon without the Honeyfund gifts?  How do you know that she and her future husband didn't already pay for the whole trip and they are just open to additional add-ons as gifts?

    #2 - As a current user of Honeyfund, I can tell you that the fee is not 7%, nor is it 5.95%, in fact it is currently 2.8% with a 30 cent fee per transaction.  And most importantly, I AM COVERING ALL THE FEES, NOT MY GUESTS.  So they are not being charged a fee, I am paying the transaction fees and I don't care that they are taking $3 out of every $100. 

    I'm not trying to change your mind about Honeyfund, just like a bunch of random people on a website aren't going to change my mind about it.  But please, if you plan on pretending like the expert on all things wedding, get your facts straight.  And while you're at it, try reading a book on arguing your position like a decent human being instead of a piece of shit.

    So how is the view from up there on YOUR soapbox?
    chibiyui
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    chibiyui said:

      My dear, you are not good with money. You make poor financial decisions. I'm sorry, the truth hurts. Anyone, who would willingly set up an account for possible gifts that you are flat out asking for that skims any amount off the top, is acting in a way that is stupid. Couples for the last hundreds of years have been receiving wedding gifts. And they've been receiving monetary gifts. 20's stuffed in a card and checks were good enough for our parents and their parents, and dammit, they're good enough for you too. Just because something can be done online doesn't mean it's better.

    Ugh!  AGAIN???  Super judgey people on a soap box without knowing squat about me.  Seriously, you are so all-knowing that from a single post on the internet you have surmised that I am "not good with money"  and I "make poor financial decisions"????  That's impressive, you should start some sort of clairvoyant business.

    I'm obviously very good with money and make excellent financial decisions which is why I own my own home at this age and why I even had a house full of everything I need BEFORE I got married.  There will be tons of people who bring cash to the wedding, there will be tons of people that will send cash in the mail.  I also chose to give them the option of sending monetary gifts online for a nominal fee of 2.8% (that I am paying).  You don't seem to have any issue with people paying for shipping and tax on gifts, that's not a poor financial decision in your book, but paying a much smaller fee for a honeyfund transaction makes me bad with my money?????

    You're being stupid, how's that for a sweeping generalization and assumption?

    Disagree with a Honeyfund, but stop calling people names and making declarations about their character and intellect, it only makes you look like a dumbass.

    Again, I still don't understand why you would want to pay a fee just to receive money from your guests through a website. I just. don't. get. it.

    chibiyui
  • I like how each of you just conveniently ignored my point about shipping and taxes associated with the "approved" method of gift giving.  It's ok to waste your money on those, but not on the transaction fees at honeyfund. 

    And by the way, soap boxes are fine (some people here on the knot sure do love them, seems like they go out of their way to troll other sections of the board looking for someone they can preach to), as long as you've got some factual logical arguments that you plan on using to make your point.  Being mean and nasty does not make a respectable soap box,.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    aleighbaker
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    I like how each of you just conveniently ignored my point about shipping and taxes associated with the "approved" method of gift giving.  It's ok to waste your money on those, but not on the transaction fees at honeyfund. 

    And by the way, soap boxes are fine (some people here on the knot sure do love them, seems like they go out of their way to troll other sections of the board looking for someone they can preach to), as long as you've got some factual logical arguments that you plan on using to make your point.  Being mean and nasty does not make a respectable soap box,.

    But that is up to the guest to incur if they so wish when they are purchasing a gift for you.  Just because you are so thoughtfully paying the fee on the honeyfund website doesn't make it any better.  Your guests are still being deceived.  They aren't actually getting you what you have registered for, instead the website is just cutting you a check for an activity that you will hopefully actually do on your HM.  And again, a honeyfund is a registry that is asking for money and asking for money in any shape or form is rude.  

    Also, again, I still do not understand why one would be fine paying money just to receive money through a website?  Why not just not register at all and receive all money (free of charge) through cards that are given to you at your wedding?

    chibiyuicupcait927
  • I like how each of you just conveniently ignored my point about shipping and taxes associated with the "approved" method of gift giving.  It's ok to waste your money on those, but not on the transaction fees at honeyfund. 

    And by the way, soap boxes are fine (some people here on the knot sure do love them, seems like they go out of their way to troll other sections of the board looking for someone they can preach to), as long as you've got some factual logical arguments that you plan on using to make your point.  Being mean and nasty does not make a respectable soap box,.

    The difference to me is that I am fully aware of shipping and taxes when I purchase and/or send something. On the other hand, people don't understand that they are paying a fee with regards to honeyfunds.

    For example, I was talking about honeymoon ideas with one my co-workers last week. She suggested that I just start a honeymoon registry. She said one of her friends did that last year, and she bought them 4 romantic dinners from their registry. I told her, "You know, when you buy something off of a honeymoon registry that the couple just gets a check with a fee deducted. You didn't actually buy them the 4 dinners." She said, "Well that sucks! I would have just given them cash had I known."

  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    I like how each of you just conveniently ignored my point about shipping and taxes associated with the "approved" method of gift giving.  It's ok to waste your money on those, but not on the transaction fees at honeyfund. 

    And by the way, soap boxes are fine (some people here on the knot sure do love them, seems like they go out of their way to troll other sections of the board looking for someone they can preach to), as long as you've got some factual logical arguments that you plan on using to make your point.  Being mean and nasty does not make a respectable soap box,.

    Well, taxes are one of the few inevitable things in life, so I built a bridge (funded by taxes) and got over it. Shipping I can usually shop around, either by purchasing in store or waiting for a promo. In any case, it is an upfront cost. There is no deceit in shipping or taxes from a legitimate retailer. I buy a stand mixer, pay for shipping, the recipient gets a stand mixer on their doorstep. I buy a couples massage on honeyfund, the recipient gets a check minus fees, and may never actually use it towards that couples massage. That's deceitful.
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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited June 2014

    I like how each of you just conveniently ignored my point about shipping and taxes associated with the "approved" method of gift giving.  It's ok to waste your money on those, but not on the transaction fees at honeyfund. 

    And by the way, soap boxes are fine (some people here on the knot sure do love them, seems like they go out of their way to troll other sections of the board looking for someone they can preach to), as long as you've got some factual logical arguments that you plan on using to make your point.  Being mean and nasty does not make a respectable soap box,.

    There is a big difference between shipping and taxes and fees.  Taxes, like it or not, are inevitable.  Whether someone buys you a gift or you buy the same item for yourself, the tax is going to be paid.  When you use a cash gift someone gave you to buy something, you're going to pay tax on that.  Shipping is something that many people can avoid by finding a code or going to a store and purchasing a gift and bringing it.  Shipping costs are something your guests may choose to pay to avoid the inconvenience of carrying around a big box.  Your guests may or may not choose to take advantage of this.

    There are no fees associated with giving cash.  Nothing about a honeymoon fund is more convenient for your guests than simply writing a check or slipping cash into an envelope.  If you claim to be so responsible with money, please do share what you are getting by paying this fee because this is what your 2.8% is really doing:

    Money to burn GIF
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    Maggie0829chibiyui
  • Again, I don't care if you agree with it or not. You may be fine with shipping and taxes, I'm fine with fees. I don't say that you're bad with money because you paid for shipping r taxes. This is my point, you may disagree, but most of you are not doing it in a nice way.
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    aleighbaker
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