No one contributing to our honeyfund..??!!

chibiyui · June 2014

laurakay0705 said:
Again, I don't care if you agree with it or not. You may be fine with shipping and taxes, I'm fine with fees. I don't say that you're bad with money because you paid for shipping r taxes. This is my point, you may disagree, but most of you are not doing it in a nice way.

Could you please explain why you are okay with fees? I mean, seriously, why are you paying a middle man to process monetary gifts?

kat1114 · June 2014

laurakay0705 said:

Again, I don't care if you agree with it or not. You may be fine with shipping and taxes, I'm fine with fees. I don't say that you're bad with money because you paid for shipping r taxes. This is my point, you may disagree, but most of you are not doing it in a nice way.

That's because taxes aren't a choice. You are legally required to pay them. On the other hand, you have a choice in not PAYING to get money.

hellosweetie1015 · June 2014

So... all I know about honeyfunds comes from here (didn't even know they existed prior to coming on here). BUT this is my take on the Taxes and Shipping vs. Fees thing. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Say someone buys us an espresso machine we put on our registry at BB&B. (If you do this, you automatically get a ticket to the front of my Best Friends Forever line, like frrlz.) They pay $200.00 for the espresso machine, plus $20.00 (10% tax is a bitch) to the City/State/Feds in order to pay part of the costs associated with bringing that espresso machine all the way here from "Italy" (I know it probably came from China, but this is my fantasy, just roll with me).

If they order that espresso machine from BB&B's website, they will probably still have to pay those taxes, plus they'll have a shipping fee, which covers the labor that goes into the movement of my new espresso machine that my new best friend bought me from its old, sad warehouse home into its new shiny spiffy home with meeee. (I realize that it's actually unlikely that a $200.00 item would have shipping on it, in today's world. Again, roll with me.)

If they want to give me $220.00 in a spiffy card to buy my espresso machine with, then I get my espresso machine and YAY! 'SPRESSO!

If they give me $200.00 in the spiffy card, then I have to either pay the tax on the espresso machine I WANT or get a cheaper espresso machine - that $20.00 is going to come from somewhere whether they give me cash or not. The Government is gonna get theirs, one way or the other. They aren't going to say, "Oh, it's a wedding gift? No taxes!"

If they give me that $200.00 through a honeyfund, then I get $194.10 (based on the 2.8% + $0.30 per transaction I saw earlier; it only gets worse from there). That doesn't pay for the whole espresso machine. And then the Government gets theirs on TOP of that extra skim off the top. Which means that my well-meaning guest gave me $200.00, so I could have my espresso machine, but because so many other people are taking a bite out of it, I have to shell out money for the actual gift itself, rather than just the taxes.

Oversimplified, possibly. Also it took me way too damn long. But for me - I'd rather just have the espresso machine, frankly, but if you're not gonna buy it for me, at least give me enough to pay the whole amount of the espresso machine.

***NOTE: I do not intend to ask for a $200.00 espresso machine on any of our registries, as right now we are considering not having one. Fi is picky about kitcheny things, I'm picky about blankets, and furniture isn't a registry thing. And obviously nobody puts other things on registries. [/sarcasm]

NYCBruin · June 2014

laurakay0705 said:

Again, I don't care if you agree with it or not. You may be fine with shipping and taxes, I'm fine with fees. I don't say that you're bad with money because you paid for shipping r taxes. This is my point, you may disagree, but most of you are not doing it in a nice way.

Are you implying that you don't pay taxes?

lyndausvi · June 2014

most of the weddings I attend I give cash. If I give a gift I get them from a state that doesn't have sales tax. If I choose to ship the gift, I buy from a place that has free shipping. ::shrugs::

LondonLisa · June 2014

I really think the taxes/ shipping issue is the most tenuous defense of a honeyfund I have ever seen. If you pay money to get something that you otherwise would get for free, you are bad with money. Simple as that.

That point set aside (and the lying factor), honeyfunds are begging for money. What is this- alms for the poor?! Do you sit outside a bus station with an upturned cap asking people for money? No, of course not. But that is what you are doing. No one is saying it isn't OK to want money for a holiday, but to actually register for it is begging, and that is just vulgar and sad. Just don't register and you will get cash.

Whenever someone registers for cash (which is what a honeymoon registry is) I just truly have to ask: have you no shame?

chibiyui · June 2014

@laurakay0705

still waiting for your explanation on why you are paying a middle man money to process monetary gifts.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

chibiyui said:

@laurakay0705

still waiting for your explanation on why you are paying a middle man money to process monetary gifts.

laurakay0705 · June 2014

Keep waiting. I have made my point, I'm not looking to sway you one way or another. I put in my two cents and I'm done with it. I seriously don't have the time or energy to argue with people on the internet, and I certainly don't care what you all think of my ideas or opinions. I really just can't stand seeing people come on here looking for advice and just getting torn apart by mean people. I have a soft spot for the underdog and feel like I should stand up for people when I think they are being disrespected. ***Note I said disrespected, not disagreed with.

But I feel like I am banging my head against a wall talking to most of you, so I'm probably going to stop. I'll just go back to using this place to create my wedding website and find my vendors.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

laurakay0705 said:

Keep waiting. I have made my point, I'm not looking to sway you one way or another. I put in my two cents and I'm done with it. I seriously don't have the time or energy to argue with people on the internet, and I certainly don't care what you all think of my ideas or opinions. I really just can't stand seeing people come on here looking for advice and just getting torn apart by mean people. I have a soft spot for the underdog and feel like I should stand up for people when I think they are being disrespected. ***Note I said disrespected, not disagreed with.
But I feel like I am banging my head against a wall talking to most of you, so I'm probably going to stop. I'll just go back to using this place to create my wedding website and find my vendors.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

laurakay0705 said:
Keep waiting. I have made my point, I'm not looking to sway you one way or another. I put in my two cents and I'm done with it. I seriously don't have the time or energy to argue with people on the internet, and I certainly don't care what you all think of my ideas or opinions. I really just can't stand seeing people come on here looking for advice and just getting torn apart by mean people. I have a soft spot for the underdog and feel like I should stand up for people when I think they are being disrespected. ***Note I said disrespected, not disagreed with.
But I feel like I am banging my head against a wall talking to most of you, so I'm probably going to stop. I'll just go back to using this place to create my wedding website and find my vendors.

So what you are saying is that you have no reason for thinking that paying to receive money is a good idea. Got it.

mariahlr10 · June 2014

I don't get why people are crapping their pants about this? If you wouldn't do it, then shut up? She didn't ask if you all if you thought it was a good idea. Clearly, everyone thinks their opinion is the only right one and feels the need to shove it down each others throats.

Jells2dot0 · June 2014

mariahroberts10 said:
I don't get why people are crapping their pants about this? If you wouldn't do it, then shut up? She didn't ask if you all if you thought it was a good idea. Clearly, everyone thinks their opinion is the only right one and feels the need to shove it down each others throats.

If you don't like the contents of this post, why did you dredge it up after it was inactive for over a week?

chibiyui · June 2014

So you disagre

Jells2dot0 said:

I don't get why people are crapping their pants about this? If you wouldn't do it, then shut up? She didn't ask if you all if you thought it was a good idea. Clearly, everyone thinks their opinion is the only right one and feels the need to shove it down each others throats.
If you don't like the contents of this post, why did you dredge it up after it was inactive for over a week?

Because her opinion is the only right one. Duh.

JMS62415 · June 2014

I guess I'm the odd man out. My cousin just got married and has a honeyfund in lieu of a gift registry because she and her new husband were already living together prior to their marriage. I'm more than happy to toss them $100 if it means they get to go on a honeymoon they'll love. They deserve to be happy and have fun. They've suffered tremendous loss recently so they moved up their wedding and can't afford a honeymoon. I don't see why people on here are so mean and rude.

OP, I wouldn't remind your guests about the honeyfund. It is rude to EXPECT money but if you throw it out there, I don't see the harm.

MNVegas · June 2014

JMS62415 said:

I guess I'm the odd man out. My cousin just got married and has a honeyfund in lieu of a gift registry because she and her new husband were already living together prior to their marriage. I'm more than happy to toss them $100 if it means they get to go on a honeymoon they'll love. They deserve to be happy and have fun. They've suffered tremendous loss recently so they moved up their wedding and can't afford a honeymoon. I don't see why people on here are so mean and rude.

OP, I wouldn't remind your guests about the honeyfund. It is rude to EXPECT money but if you throw it out there, I don't see the harm.

SIB
So are you saying you would not have given them a $100 cash gift if they didn't have a HM registry? Also you do know they did not receive the whole $100 right? No one here is being rude. The rudeness comes from the people asking their guests to pay for a honeymoon they can not afford on their own. Sorry but no one is owed a honeymoon.

JMS62415 · June 2014

They do not have a regular registry so if they didn't have a honeyfund, I'd have no clue what to get them. I don't think it's rude but I do think some of the women here were. That's my opinion. I'm not saying anyone is owed a honeymoon but not everyone feels the way you do. I know a lot of people who would love to pitch in to send a happy couple on a honeymoon. It's not owed but it can be seen as a gift. That's how I see it.

JMS62415 · June 2014

oh and I'm not trying to be rude but I just realized this post is over a week old so I'm going to stop replying. If you feel like speaking to me directly though, feel free to send me a PM.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

JMS62415 said:

I guess I'm the odd man out. My cousin just got married and has a honeyfund in lieu of a gift registry because she and her new husband were already living together prior to their marriage. I'm more than happy to toss them $100 if it means they get to go on a honeymoon they'll love. They deserve to be happy and have fun. They've suffered tremendous loss recently so they moved up their wedding and can't afford a honeymoon. I don't see why people on here are so mean and rude.

OP, I wouldn't remind your guests about the honeyfund. It is rude to EXPECT money but if you throw it out there, I don't see the harm.

JMS62415 said:

They do not have a regular registry so if they didn't have a honeyfund, I'd have no clue what to get them. I don't think it's rude but I do think some of the women here were. That's my opinion. I'm not saying anyone is owed a honeymoon but not everyone feels the way you do. I know a lot of people who would love to pitch in to send a happy couple on a honeymoon. It's not owed but it can be seen as a gift. That's how I see it.

Wait what? You'd have no clue what to get them? You still toss them the $100! But you just literally, physically toss them 100 real, actual, full dollars. Or place it gently on the gift table. Or drop it in the mail. You can PayPal it (gifts have no fee). You can write them a check. You can give them a crisp Benjamin. You can give them 5 twenties. You just give $100! It is precisely that simple! They can then take that money and buy their own airfare or hotel or dinner on the beach or whatever the hell they want!

Why is this confusing?

leideigh · June 2014

i did a honeyfund.

that being said, when i sent out the invites i only put a link to our wedding website. on the website, we are registered at Amazon and also (secondarily) at Honeyfund. we are very lucky that our guests want to give us cash, and some have said they are happy to "fund a romantic dinner" or whatever honeyfund says. honestly it's just an alternative to the Amazon registry.

but hey, cash is always amazing! won't kick that out of bed.

AddieCake · June 2014

JMS62415 said:

They do not have a regular registry so if they didn't have a honeyfund, I'd have no clue what to get them. I don't think it's rude but I do think some of the women here were. That's my opinion. I'm not saying anyone is owed a honeymoon but not everyone feels the way you do. I know a lot of people who would love to pitch in to send a happy couple on a honeymoon. It's not owed but it can be seen as a gift. That's how I see it.

How on earth can you not know what to get them w/o some kind of registry? You are happy to give them $100 toward their Honeyfund? I'm thinking giving them $100 in cash would probably solve your big mystery about what you could get them.

@lolo883 I am crushing so hard on you right now.

JMS62415 · June 2014

I wasn't going to respond but I just want to clarify. I'm sure I could have figured out pretty easily what to give them. I'm not an idiot but I want to make sure I get them something they really want. I don't want to just throw cash at them. I like to put thought into my gifts. I didn't know before that you have to pay to use honeyfund so I'm just going to give them cash but I still think it's a good idea for those that don't care about that. It shows what the money is going towards. You don't have to agree with me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that. That's all.

AddieCake · June 2014

But it doesn't show what the money is going to. You think it does because you click "dolphin excursion" or something, but what happens is they just cut the couple a check. The money is not really put toward specific experiences at all. All the money is lumped together, just like it would be if everyone gave them cash and checks, but they get less than they would if you just gave it to them directly. That's what we are forever trying to get people to understand.

leideigh · June 2014

honeyfund does not take any cut unless you sign up for the premium account, then they do take a pecentage of credit card gifts or paypal and other stuff. for the free registry they do that (i agree arbitrary) list of dolphin dryhumping etc and then yes you get checks directly from people who send them. some people just like the idea of contributing to the romance or adventure, even if they don't know you'll likely use it for something else.

chibiyui · June 2014

leideigh said:

honeyfund does not take any cut unless you sign up for the premium account, then they do take a pecentage of credit card gifts or paypal and other stuff. for the free registry they do that (i agree arbitrary) list of dolphin dryhumping etc and then yes you get checks directly from people who send them. some people just like the idea of contributing to the romance or adventure, even if they don't know you'll likely use it for something else.

Yeah, but like, thats kinda dick.

If I don't want to just throw someone cash, I'll actually buy them a physical gift or experience. But with honeyfunds people think they're doing that, and then you use it for a down payment. It's just dishonest. If you want cash, just don't register. Don't let people think they're gifting you dry humping dolphins when you're really just kicking back margaritas in front of the tv.

leideigh · June 2014

that's why it's our secondary. just sayin that's how we did it, it's one option.

chibiyui · June 2014

leideigh said:

that's why it's our secondary. just sayin that's how we did it, it's one option.

Because having the dishonest option as your first registry was just beyond the pale?

Nah, seriously, why have it at all if you also think it's dick?

leideigh · June 2014

i totally hear you guys on the dickish thinking..... and you're right to question me as i also think it's kinda dick!

we are lucky enough to have everything we need at home, we have been living together for several years. we are also lucky enough that my fam is paying for our wedding and his fam is paying for the honeymoon.

that being said, most people ask about our registry and we point them to amazon. others however ask about giving cash, so we point them to honeyfund. done and done.

chibiyui · June 2014

leideigh said:

i totally hear you guys on the dickish thinking..... and you're right to question me as i also think it's kinda dick!

we are lucky enough to have everything we need at home, we have been living together for several years. we are also lucky enough that my fam is paying for our wedding and his fam is paying for the honeymoon.

that being said, most people ask about our registry and we point them to amazon. others however ask about giving cash, so we point them to honeyfund. done and done.

..........

Maggie0829 · June 2014

Edited because I will never understand how getting money through a website is better or easier then just being handed the same damn money from the actual giver and I am just tired of people trying to say how it isn't rude. So those with honeyfunds continue with your rude and silly way of getting cash from your guests.

No one contributing to our honeyfund..??!!

Re: No one contributing to our honeyfund..??!!

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