I'm a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's wedding in a couple months. She stated that all of her attendants will be getting plus one invites. However, I'm bisexual and since that conversation have entered into a relationship with another woman I had been dating for awhile. Bride and other friends are all super supportive/not phased by my relationship, but she has a very conservative family. I'd really like to bring my girlfriend with me. The wedding it out of state and she hasn't had an opportunity to spend a lot of time with my friends and I'd love for her to share this with me. Plus I'd just like to have her there to spend time with and you know, all the regular reasons you bring people you love as a date to something like this.
I know the bride would, herself, not care at all if I had a same-sex date, but I'm worried about her family. I don't want people being rude to us or complaining to the bride and groom and making things hard for them on their big day.
I'd like to address it with the bride and see what she wants me to do (not bring a date, bring her but act like "friends", at least through the reception until we get to the after party, whatever. It's her day and I'd be willing to suck it up and take solace in the fact that she's much more open then her family and loves me regardless) but I'm not sure how to bring it up. She's a total "yes" person and likes to please everyone so I don't want to put her on the spot and make her uncomfortable and tell me to bring her just because she doesn't want to say no, but she's already stressed about her slightly-less conservative fiance's family doing things that will send her family into a fit, let alone worrying about what a queer bridesmaid would do.
Any thoughts on the best way to tactfully address this with her? She's getting ready to send out invitations and I'd rather have this conversation with her and know what to expect before I get my invite. I'd understand if she asked me to go solo, but it would still kind of hurt me. But I understand the position she's in and just don't want it to become an issue for either of us.