DR. said I was overweight oh my god

BreMR · June 2014

Ugh. I am a few pounds into the 'overweight' on the BMI calculator myself but I feel like people would never look at me and think "that girl needs to lose some weight." I think PP's have given you great advice, but I especially like what @grumbledore said. You should make your doctor aware of your history, 1. So she understands she needs to change her angle with you and 2. So she realizes the potential dangerous way she addresses her patients, not just you.

larrygaga · June 2014

@jdluver06 @inkdancer I am a dancer as well!

I won't be going to this doctor again. She was a new doctor for me and I think I'll shop around more. I have never in my life had a doctor mention anything about my weight. I have had a few doctors even praise how healthy I am! It's really hard for me to talk about weight, and my past regarding that. I never bring it up because most of the time I don't believe a doctor has any reason to mention my weight unless they want to say good job for being healthy. I was there for a pap smear. Unless I was there for weight related issues, I really don't understand why should would bother bringing it up. Someday I will be braver and make the next stupid doctor feel terrible about they say.

She was also weird and told me I should be using condoms (no) in case my FI and boyfriend of 8 years has an STD. I will continue to use the pill only because that is my business only. I am an adult and know what happens if I don't use a condom. Where would he get an STD? From cheating on me? I told her I was fine not getting the blood test for HIV and that sort of thing, because I have never had a blood transfusion, done drugs and my FI has never cheated and gotten any STDs. I'm not worried about STDs. I don't feel I need constant tests for it.

She also said my irregular periods may mean that I'm infertile. I knew right off the bat that she can't tell from my periods and I'm not even trying to get pregnant. I'm not worried if I am or not, because I still don't even know if I want kids or not.

Actually, after thinking about all the little things she said to me, I wonder if she wasn't trying to make me feel bad. She was rather young and not very cute, and I was all dressed up for a date and stuff, so I looked good. The more I think about it the more she seems like an awful doctor or really really jealous. Or maybe she got cheated on and got an STD which is why she didn't trust my FI like I did.

The front counter lady was sort of rude too. Well, I got my exam done and more birth control, and in the end that's what I needed.

phira · June 2014

Wow. Yeah. She's a BAD doctor.

First of all, while I do think it's a good idea (if insurance covers it) to get tested for HIV just in case, there's no reason that you should need to use condoms. Like ... I don't even get that. I don't use condoms because I have an IUD. Yes, it's true: no birth control is 100% effective, and only condoms can protect against STDs. But that doesn't mean everyone needs to double/triple up on contraceptives. And condomless sex isn't UNsafe sex.

And finally, irregular periods =/= infertile. What an idiot doctor.

emmaaa · June 2014

That really stinks! I've had doctors tell me (and my mom when I was in high school) that I was overweight and needed to lose a few pounds. Which I am sure I could afford to do but I don't want to. I have FINALLY learned to love my body. All of my curves and lumps. I don't consider myself to even be remotely overweight. Do I want to tone? Sure. I am squishy. But that is not going to hurt anything. I agree that you need to look for a new doctor. One who can understand a woman's body.

PS...i always like when I have a female doctor who is more like my size...not super thin. Or a male doctor because a lot of men prefer women with curves. Lol.

larrygaga · June 2014

phira said:

Wow. Yeah. She's a BAD doctor.

First of all, while I do think it's a good idea (if insurance covers it) to get tested for HIV just in case, there's no reason that you should need to use condoms. Like ... I don't even get that. I don't use condoms because I have an IUD. Yes, it's true: no birth control is 100% effective, and only condoms can protect against STDs. But that doesn't mean everyone needs to double/triple up on contraceptives. And condomless sex isn't UNsafe sex.

And finally, irregular periods =/= infertile. What an idiot doctor.

BOX

For her to give a grown nearly married woman a teenager lecture on sex, that is very strange.

ShallowSeas · June 2014

I don't agree with the BMI chart. I'm 5'2" but I'm built curvy like the rest of my family. The weight in which I love the way I look is, according to the BMI chart, overweight. I don't get it. I'm not built to be a toothpick nor do I want to be a toothpick.

NYCMercedes · June 2014

Did anyone else notice the guy with the 30% BMI back on page one?

CallaLily25 · June 2014

I know how you feel! I'm in almost the exact same position as you. My BMI is almost exactly 25, putting me about 2 or 3 pounds overweight. I used to be stick-thin without really trying and then suddenly when I turned 22, my body went nuts. I gained about 30 pounds in 3 years (not terribly rapid, but still difficult). I was feeling really good because I lost 14 pounds, but finding out the other day at the doctors that I was still considered "overweight" was extremely discouraging!

I wouldn't let it get you down, and I'm going to try to take my own advice. You want to be healthy, yes, but being obsessed with your weight is not healthy and can only lead to problems. I don't have much advice as to how NOT to become obsessed, as I'm struggling with that right now, but I wanted to say *hugs* and I know how you feel.

jenna8984 · June 2014

So I understand that you may only be 5 lbs overweight so this does NOT apply to you, OP. However, I do think it's a doctor's job to let people know when they have a real problem. Everyone wants to be coddled with kittens and rainbows and let's not tell them they're fat because it'll hurt their feelings. My best friend has been obese for about ten years now since we graduated high school it's really stacked up over the years. She has all sorts of problems like sleep apnea, fatigue, sore back & knees, poor balance/ always tripping, always getting the flu or cold. Her doctor just keeps telling her like "you need this $500 sleep apnea mask" when he should be telling her "all your problems are caused by your weight". I'm not trying to sound like a douche, I love her so so much and I want her to be healthy but it's hard to get that in her head when everyone just tells her she's fine and to love herself how she is. I'm sorry that I don't want to see her on diabetes & blood pressure medicine at 30 years old. I've tried to have gentle, heartfelt conversations with her about it but she says she can't talk to me about it because I'm "naturally skinny and don't know what it's like". (that's not true, I watch what I eat and work out and it's a struggle for me to just maintain an 8 but in her mind I'm stuffing my face and I weigh an Olsen twin). I just wish that if I can't talk to her, her doctor at least would, isn't that their responsibility?

larrygaga · June 2014

jenna8984 said:

So I understand that you may only be 5 lbs overweight so this does NOT apply to you, OP. However, I do think it's a doctor's job to let people know when they have a real problem. Everyone wants to be coddled with kittens and rainbows and let's not tell them they're fat because it'll hurt their feelings. My best friend has been obese for about ten years now since we graduated high school it's really stacked up over the years. She has all sorts of problems like sleep apnea, fatigue, sore back & knees, poor balance/ always tripping, always getting the flu or cold. Her doctor just keeps telling her like "you need this $500 sleep apnea mask" when he should be telling her "all your problems are caused by your weight". I'm not trying to sound like a douche, I love her so so much and I want her to be healthy but it's hard to get that in her head when everyone just tells her she's fine and to love herself how she is. I'm sorry that I don't want to see her on diabetes & blood pressure medicine at 30 years old. I've tried to have gentle, heartfelt conversations with her about it but she says she can't talk to me about it because I'm "naturally skinny and don't know what it's like". (that's not true, I watch what I eat and work out and it's a struggle for me to just maintain an 8 but in her mind I'm stuffing my face and I weigh an Olsen twin). I just wish that if I can't talk to her, her doctor at least would, isn't that their responsibility?

You stand out to me because I see you post many things that are fairly ignorant and offensive. You really should think twice about what you say before you say it. I only hope the things you post online aren't the things you say in real life. That is my advice to you.

Inkdancer · June 2014

jenna8984 said:

So I understand that you may only be 5 lbs overweight so this does NOT apply to you, OP. However, I do think it's a doctor's job to let people know when they have a real problem. Everyone wants to be coddled with kittens and rainbows and let's not tell them they're fat because it'll hurt their feelings. My best friend has been obese for about ten years now since we graduated high school it's really stacked up over the years. She has all sorts of problems like sleep apnea, fatigue, sore back & knees, poor balance/ always tripping, always getting the flu or cold. Her doctor just keeps telling her like "you need this $500 sleep apnea mask" when he should be telling her "all your problems are caused by your weight". I'm not trying to sound like a douche, I love her so so much and I want her to be healthy but it's hard to get that in her head when everyone just tells her she's fine and to love herself how she is. I'm sorry that I don't want to see her on diabetes & blood pressure medicine at 30 years old. I've tried to have gentle, heartfelt conversations with her about it but she says she can't talk to me about it because I'm "naturally skinny and don't know what it's like". (that's not true, I watch what I eat and work out and it's a struggle for me to just maintain an 8 but in her mind I'm stuffing my face and I weigh an Olsen twin). I just wish that if I can't talk to her, her doctor at least would, isn't that their responsibility?

The thing is, there's no fat person in the world who doesn't know they are fat. She knows. She probably is aware of all the health issues. We don't need to be reminded, or chided. You get to a point where you're stuck, you don't know how to start, and even strangers make you feel terrible just for existing as a fat person in their vicinity.

Maybe she should be asking her doctor what to do, but that's her choice. And as her friend, it's your responsibility to be the one person who doesn't judge her for her weight.

larrygaga · June 2014

CallaLily25 said:

I know how you feel! I'm in almost the exact same position as you. My BMI is almost exactly 25, putting me about 2 or 3 pounds overweight. I used to be stick-thin without really trying and then suddenly when I turned 22, my body went nuts. I gained about 30 pounds in 3 years (not terribly rapid, but still difficult). I was feeling really good because I lost 14 pounds, but finding out the other day at the doctors that I was still considered "overweight" was extremely discouraging!

I wouldn't let it get you down, and I'm going to try to take my own advice. You want to be healthy, yes, but being obsessed with your weight is not healthy and can only lead to problems. I don't have much advice as to how NOT to become obsessed, as I'm struggling with that right now, but I wanted to say *hugs* and I know how you feel.

It is really hard to get past the guilt when you eat. Even when I eat a pure salad I feel like it's too many calories and I'm going to get way too fat and embarrassed. I only want to feel guilt if I'm eating terribly for a long time and actually putting my body at risk. My first step was to buy a bikini and not look at myself in the mirror when I wear it, as well as put the scale away so I only check it once a month or so. Like you are supposed to.

lyndausvi · June 2014

Am I the only one who appreciates when the doctors mentions I'm getting up there in weight?

I've never been overweight, but I've been close to that range. If the doctor mentions it I do not go into some crazy diet mode. I just start paying more attention to what I'm doing. I''m up there now and my new doctor mentioned something a few weeks ago. I thought to myself "umm, well I have been eating WF chocolate puddings a lot lately. And I have been strangely addicted to the chicken salad at WF, which I just discovered when we moved here. And I've been pretty lazy about talking walks and such. I use to take 16 miles bike rides a few days a week. I cant remember the last time I was on a bike. DH is working longer hours so I've been eating differently".

Because of what the doctor said I've been getting outside and taking longer walks and hikes. I've cut my chicken salad intake and threw in green salads and eating more veggies instead. I've cut back on my ice cream too. I haven't cut anything out completely, but I started to pay more attention.

My mom is 150lbs overweight. She has had 2 shoulder surgeries and will have a knee replacement next month and another one next year. She has scooter now because she can't move. I do not want to get like her. It's easier to lose a few pounds or just not gain more than to balloon to 50+ overweight and try to lose weight.

All that said, your doctor sounds like a tool anyway. Find another doctor. Make sure you let all doctors know your history with weight. Telling someone like me they are getting up there is not going to send me into an eating disorder. Telling someone who has a history of body image it might. We are all different and react different ways to the same information. If a doctor does not know the past history it's harder for them to know to to go about delivering the information.

Oh and BMI sucks.

jenna8984 · June 2014

larrygaga said:

You stand out to me because I see you post many things that are fairly ignorant and offensive. You really should think twice about what you say before you say it. I only hope the things you post online aren't the things you say in real life. That is my advice to you.

What is so ignorant and offensive that I CARE about my best friend?! Those people who have trouble conceiving due to their weight, those people that die of a heart attack at 48 years old, I am SO sorry because I don't want that to be her??

Obviously I've never said wow, friend, you're fat. I do love her for who she is and treat her the same as all my friends. The only time we've had conversations about weight is when she comes to me and says "Hey I need some healthy breakfast ideas, what do you got? Hey, I want to try walking, what shoes are best?" That's the only time the topic comes up, I'm not sitting here telling her to lose weight. I'm saying as a doctor, it's your professional job to bring these things up and if you don't you're not doing your job.

phira · June 2014

@jenna8984 I get that you think you're being a concerned friend, but I think you need to recognize that you're coming from a place of privilege. Your friend already knows what her body looks like. She already knows what's up with her health. And, honestly, you don't.

I know people with sleep apnea who aren't fat. I know people who've got back and/or knee problems who aren't fat. I've NEVER been graceful, no matter what size my body is, and I know I'm not alone. And getting viral infections frequently is, again, not something that is directly caused by weight.

You are not her personal doctor. You don't have her medical history.

You need to let go. You need to get to a place where you can love your friend without being all, "BUT I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU." Don't be.

larrygaga · June 2014

jenna8984 said:

larrygaga said:

You stand out to me because I see you post many things that are fairly ignorant and offensive. You really should think twice about what you say before you say it. I only hope the things you post online aren't the things you say in real life. That is my advice to you.

What is so ignorant and offensive that I CARE about my best friend?! Those people who have trouble conceiving due to their weight, those people that die of a heart attack at 48 years old, I am SO sorry because I don't want that to be her??

Obviously I've never said wow, friend, you're fat. I do love her for who she is and treat her the same as all my friends. The only time we've had conversations about weight is when she comes to me and says "Hey I need some healthy breakfast ideas, what do you got? Hey, I want to try walking, what shoes are best?" That's the only time the topic comes up, I'm not sitting here telling her to lose weight. I'm saying as a doctor, it's your professional job to bring these things up and if you don't you're not doing your job.

Even if someone is 5 pounds overweight and is recovering from an eating disorder? Because we are talking about that, and me. Not your friend. Which is why I suggested you think about what you say, because what you said is offensive when we are talking about my situation and others who are in this situation. Perhaps it isn't as offensive when you are talking about true obesity. We are not talking about true obesity in this particular subject. We are talking about a doctor who crossed the line. You came in here spouting things that have nothing to with what we are talking about, so if I apply what you said to my situation, it's very offensive. Which is what I did. Because we are talking about my situation. I think it's important that you see the difference.

So basically, your post came off as I should welcome a doctor telling me to go on a diet even though I am recovering from an eating disorder, because it is her job to tell me when I'm getting fat. I do want to hear the truth from my doctor, and I don't believe doctors should coddle and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. I also don't think doctors need to worry about an extra 5 pounds. It's a trigger. If this had been last year and she said that to me, I would have not eaten for days.

lyndausvi · June 2014

larrygaga - does your doctor know about your eating disorder history?

The weight comment aside she sounds like a tool anyway. Just curious.

jenna8984 · June 2014

larrygaga said:

jenna8984 said:

larrygaga said:

You stand out to me because I see you post many things that are fairly ignorant and offensive. You really should think twice about what you say before you say it. I only hope the things you post online aren't the things you say in real life. That is my advice to you.

What is so ignorant and offensive that I CARE about my best friend?! Those people who have trouble conceiving due to their weight, those people that die of a heart attack at 48 years old, I am SO sorry because I don't want that to be her??

Obviously I've never said wow, friend, you're fat. I do love her for who she is and treat her the same as all my friends. The only time we've had conversations about weight is when she comes to me and says "Hey I need some healthy breakfast ideas, what do you got? Hey, I want to try walking, what shoes are best?" That's the only time the topic comes up, I'm not sitting here telling her to lose weight. I'm saying as a doctor, it's your professional job to bring these things up and if you don't you're not doing your job.
Even if someone is 5 pounds overweight and is recovering from an eating disorder? Because we are talking about that, and me. Not your friend. Which is why I suggested you think about what you say, because what you said is offensive when we are talking about my situation and others who are in this situation. Perhaps it isn't as offensive when you are talking about true obesity. We are not talking about true obesity in this particular subject. We are talking about a doctor who crossed the line. You came in here spouting things that have nothing to with what we are talking about, so if I apply what you said to my situation, it's very offensive. Which is what I did. Because we are talking about my situation. I think it's important that you see the difference.

So basically, your post came off as I should welcome a doctor telling me to go on a diet even though I am recovering from an eating disorder, because it is her job to tell me when I'm getting fat. I do want to hear the truth from my doctor, and I don't believe doctors should coddle and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. I also don't think doctors need to worry about an extra 5 pounds. It's a trigger. If this had been last year and she said that to me, I would have not eaten for days.

I apologize. Many times in these discussions the posts merge off onto slightly different but related topics and people just go with the flow and continue to converse. Which is why I started it off with OP this doesn't apply to you. I was merely making a related conversation. I didn't realize this particular topic had to remain about you and only your situation.

Maybe filling your doctor in on your past would be beneficial for you both.

smalfrie19 · June 2014

jenna8984 said:

larrygaga said:

jenna8984 said:

larrygaga said:

You stand out to me because I see you post many things that are fairly ignorant and offensive. You really should think twice about what you say before you say it. I only hope the things you post online aren't the things you say in real life. That is my advice to you.

What is so ignorant and offensive that I CARE about my best friend?! Those people who have trouble conceiving due to their weight, those people that die of a heart attack at 48 years old, I am SO sorry because I don't want that to be her??

Obviously I've never said wow, friend, you're fat. I do love her for who she is and treat her the same as all my friends. The only time we've had conversations about weight is when she comes to me and says "Hey I need some healthy breakfast ideas, what do you got? Hey, I want to try walking, what shoes are best?" That's the only time the topic comes up, I'm not sitting here telling her to lose weight. I'm saying as a doctor, it's your professional job to bring these things up and if you don't you're not doing your job.

Even if someone is 5 pounds overweight and is recovering from an eating disorder? Because we are talking about that, and me. Not your friend. Which is why I suggested you think about what you say, because what you said is offensive when we are talking about my situation and others who are in this situation. Perhaps it isn't as offensive when you are talking about true obesity. We are not talking about true obesity in this particular subject. We are talking about a doctor who crossed the line. You came in here spouting things that have nothing to with what we are talking about, so if I apply what you said to my situation, it's very offensive. Which is what I did. Because we are talking about my situation. I think it's important that you see the difference.

So basically, your post came off as I should welcome a doctor telling me to go on a diet even though I am recovering from an eating disorder, because it is her job to tell me when I'm getting fat. I do want to hear the truth from my doctor, and I don't believe doctors should coddle and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. I also don't think doctors need to worry about an extra 5 pounds. It's a trigger. If this had been last year and she said that to me, I would have not eaten for days.

I apologize. Many times in these discussions the posts merge off onto slightly different but related topics and people just go with the flow and continue to converse. Which is why I started it off with OP this doesn't apply to you. I was merely making a related conversation. I didn't realize this particular topic had to remain about you and only your situation.

Maybe filling your doctor in on your past would be beneficial for you both.

~~~ box disappeared~~~

Considering it was a gynecological exam......not so much.....

emmaaa · June 2014

larrygaga said:

jenna8984 said:

larrygaga said:

You stand out to me because I see you post many things that are fairly ignorant and offensive. You really should think twice about what you say before you say it. I only hope the things you post online aren't the things you say in real life. That is my advice to you.

What is so ignorant and offensive that I CARE about my best friend?! Those people who have trouble conceiving due to their weight, those people that die of a heart attack at 48 years old, I am SO sorry because I don't want that to be her??

Obviously I've never said wow, friend, you're fat. I do love her for who she is and treat her the same as all my friends. The only time we've had conversations about weight is when she comes to me and says "Hey I need some healthy breakfast ideas, what do you got? Hey, I want to try walking, what shoes are best?" That's the only time the topic comes up, I'm not sitting here telling her to lose weight. I'm saying as a doctor, it's your professional job to bring these things up and if you don't you're not doing your job.

Even if someone is 5 pounds overweight and is recovering from an eating disorder? Because we are talking about that, and me. Not your friend. Which is why I suggested you think about what you say, because what you said is offensive when we are talking about my situation and others who are in this situation. Perhaps it isn't as offensive when you are talking about true obesity. We are not talking about true obesity in this particular subject. We are talking about a doctor who crossed the line. You came in here spouting things that have nothing to with what we are talking about, so if I apply what you said to my situation, it's very offensive. Which is what I did. Because we are talking about my situation. I think it's important that you see the difference.

So basically, your post came off as I should welcome a doctor telling me to go on a diet even though I am recovering from an eating disorder, because it is her job to tell me when I'm getting fat. I do want to hear the truth from my doctor, and I don't believe doctors should coddle and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. I also don't think doctors need to worry about an extra 5 pounds. It's a trigger. If this had been last year and she said that to me, I would have not eaten for days.

I actually agree with Jenna in a way. And she actually said that what she was saying didn't apply to you, OP.

I think it is a doctor's job to keep us healthy and suggest ways to improve our health. But I think when it comes to being "overweight" by what BMI says or needing to lose five pounds is different than obesity, doctor's should be cautious in how they approach issues like this. A doctor, in my opinion, should also get to know their patient's medical background. So if that person has suffered from an eating disorder, they can follow up on than and be aware of that issue before weight.

I do think that saying Jenna was being ignorant by her statement is kind of overreaching.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

So I kept thinking about this whole thing last night, what I couldn't get off my mind was that I've been underweight. Like I've weighed under 85lbs, even at 5' tall that's not healthy. Even my current weight I flit with the underweight per BMI line (though I'm healthy and happy at my current weight). No doctor ever brought up my being underweight as a health issue. Not a single doctor I saw said "Gee you might want to gain a few pounds", nothing. But then I went up to a little over 115 which was flirting with overweight (again for my height), and boy did all the doctors want to mention that I needed to be careful.

Then I talked to a buddy of mine who was obese. He said at one point he weight over 400lbs, though he isn't sure by how much because he wouldn't weigh himself. So I asked him how many doctors told him he was overweight or brought BMI. None. Zero. The only time anyone mentioned weightless to him, he was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic and his doctor said "Diet and excersize can help control it in addition to the medication, and loosing some weight will help as well" and that's it. Now he's been working on and has lost over a 100lbs, but is still overweight. Still no doctor mentions the fact that he's overweight. I guess they assume that he's aware. Because he is. It was no surprise when they told him he had type 2 diabities. He knew he needed to do something but there were other issues to work through. He's doing great now and is looking at getting a weight loss surgery to help him loose the rest of his weight. At 400lbs they were actually concerned it wasn't safe enough for him to go under.

Anyways, given my anecdotal evidence I can't help but feel this is a bit....all women should look a certain way. And to do that you have to be a certain weight. And it is a small weight. Be bigger is always wrong. But being smaller is always right.

Oh and friend told me something interesting he's learned in looking into WLS, the surgeons he's been working with say that being slightly in the overweight category of BMI can actually be healthy. Because muscle does weigh more then fat. But also I guess they did a study (or there was a study or something, not complete sure) that showed people with a BMI of 25 or 26 tend to be as healthy (or healthier then) those with a lower BMI. So when they have patients who loose weight they aim for them to be in a BMI range of 23-27.

buttercup1958 · June 2014

I'm sorry that happened to you and gosh I would have kicked your doctor in the face. I mean its bad enough that we have to go through those uncomfortable pap smears and exams. Then to be told on top of being poked with cold hard metal things inside of you, you could lose a few pounds? Nope nope nope.

lyndausvi · June 2014

According to the CDC 2/3 of the US population is overweight. Eating disorders aside, at what point is a doctor allowed to tell a patient they are getting overweight? Being overweight posses a lot of problems for many people. If a doctor can keep someone who is only 5 pounds over weight from getting 50lbs overweight then I think that is a good thing. It's a fact that losing 5 lbs or NOT gaining an additional weight is much easier than trying to lose 20, 30 or more pounds.

Now in larrygaga's case being told is a trigger. So this is were full disclosure to a doctor is important. Weight can be important regardless of the doctor's specialty. If they know about an eating disorder they should be able to communicate appropriately.

emmaaa · June 2014

For what it is worth, my physician that I would see if I were sick and who does all of my blood work yearly, does my gyneocological visits. So she covers everything.

chibiyui · June 2014

@ MagicInk I remember as a kid the doctor would harp on my mom/baby sitter (who usually took me to doctor appointments) that I was underweight. And my grandparents paid me dollar every time I gained a pound. I'm not in great shape, and I eat way too much sugar. But the few times I've gone to the doctor in my adult life, no one is concerned about that.

It's odd how times have changed. Every one is worried about my 3 year old niece cause she's "big" no shit, she's in the 98th percentile for height, stop freaking out that she's also in the 98th percentile for weight. She's three.

Ladies can't win when it comes to weight.

jenna8984 · June 2014

lyndausvi said:

According to the CDC 2/3 of the US population is overweight. Eating disorders aside, at what point is a doctor allowed to tell a patient they are getting overweight? Being overweight posses a lot of problems for many people. If a doctor can keep someone who is only 5 pounds over weight from getting 50lbs overweight then I think that is a good thing. It's a fact that losing 5 lbs or NOT gaining an additional weight is much easier than trying to lose 20, 30 or more pounds.

Now in larrygaga's case being told is a trigger. So this is were full disclosure to a doctor is important. Weight can be important regardless of the doctor's specialty. If they know about an eating disorder they should be able to communicate appropriately.

I agree, with the rising healthcare costs in the country due to things like type 2 diabetes, it's easier to alert patients early on and prevent them from gaining 100 lb rather than to wait and then tell them to lose 100 lbs. That's when it becomes too challenging and overwhelming for most people.

Also in agreement with full disclosure of the patient background so they can work around not triggering. And Larrygaga I am happy for you that you have come to the position you are now at and that you are stronger than you would have been a year ago in that situation.

buttercup1958 · June 2014

emmaaa my old family doctor did everything too. She had tact though so we would discuss everything first and then get the exam done. I've asked her before what would be healthy and unhealthy weight for my body, family history, ect. Last time I was there she said I was ok but make sure I eat healthy. So my old doctor comment on my weight but then again I ask her too and I did it before I drop my pants.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

lyndausvi said:

According to the CDC 2/3 of the US population is overweight. Eating disorders aside, at what point is a doctor allowed to tell a patient they are getting overweight? Being overweight posses a lot of problems for many people. If a doctor can keep someone who is only 5 pounds over weight from getting 50lbs overweight then I think that is a good thing. It's a fact that losing 5 lbs or NOT gaining an additional weight is much easier than trying to lose 20, 30 or more pounds.

Now in larrygaga's case being told is a trigger. So this is were full disclosure to a doctor is important. Weight can be important regardless of the doctor's specialty. If they know about an eating disorder they should be able to communicate appropriately.

I think doctors should talk with their patients about weight when it becomes relevant to their health in a concrete way. So if you are at risk for diabetes or sleep apnea or whatever, yes. If your BMI is a little high but all of your metabolic signs are healthy, no.

Larrygaga's doctor obviously crossed the line. Larry is at a healthy weight and the exam was not even related to her weight in any real way.

FTR, Larry, my BMI is the same as yours and a doctor recently mentioned weight to me. But it was an appropriate context. He is a rheumatologist who had just told me I have a joint condition, and keeping my weight down throughout my life will help with the joint pain. It wasn't, "better watch that BMI," it was, "be aware that carrying extra weight will directly affect your health in this specific way." If my gyno said what yours said, she could GTFO.

Also FTR, I think @jenna8984, you were out of line posting what you did. Not because it's horrible to stray from the OP's situation on any post, but because Larry shared that she has issues with eating and the doctors comment was upsetting to her. Knowing she is recovering from an eating disorder, it was very insensitive to post about how doctors should tell patients they are fat "but this doesn't apply to you." Well of course it does, if you're posting it on her thread. Even if you dont think it directly applies to her situation, it did come off that you are saying maybe she needs to hear it. You had to know, or should have considered, that your post would be a trigger for her and others who are recovering.

jenna8984 · June 2014

@jcbride2015 True. I was only thinking of the other situation and had removed it from the original situation in my mind. I should have considered how it would make her feel from her perspective. It wasn't an intentional dig at all, just an oversight all together. Sorry about that OP.

ohannabelle · June 2014

Your doctor is an asshat.

DR. said I was overweight oh my god

Re: DR. said I was overweight oh my god

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