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What would you rather?

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Re: What would you rather?

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    photokittyphotokitty mod
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    edited June 2014
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?

    I see what you are saying, but I consider it different when you have a wedding on cruise or an all inclusive resort with the expectation that people will stay on location. It's not a day anymore.

    If I go to an OOT wedding or a DW and am left to my own devices - selecting an off site hotel and finding my own food - I don't expect to see B&G expect on the wedding day. 

    However OP has stated her wedding was going to be more of a vacation party for all the guests - in that case I would feel slighted if I didn't spend ample time with the B&G. If you have a wedding like this I view it as a group vacation more than a wedding - and OP has said the same previously - hence my expectation. :)
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    sofakingmadsofakingmad member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    As a Destination Bride myself, I knew how much people were paying to come to the wedding, so it was important for me to cut down on costs for my guests as much as I could.

    We had a fully hosted welcome dinner and then the fully hosted wedding.  So two nights of dinner and drinks hosted for our guests.

    I guess I do expect more when it comes to DWs.  And if they don't give me more, then I have and will continue to choose not to go.
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    LabLove86LabLove86 member
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    I just love this part. The whole time I was reading it I was thinking:

    image

    I've tried arguing this to people before - usually to no avail. 

    I am also of the belief that the right amount and type of bacteria help to strengthen your immune system - of course more caution to those who are immuno-comprimised. 
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    LadyMillilLadyMillil member
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    LabLove86 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    I just love this part. The whole time I was reading it I was thinking:

    image

    I've tried arguing this to people before - usually to no avail. 

    I am also of the belief that the right amount and type of bacteria help to strengthen your immune system - of course more caution to those who are immuno-comprimised. 
    There are 10 times more bacterial cells on your body than human cells that make up your body. And a lot of the bacteria do tons of good things for you. Bacteria on your skin, in your GI tract, and in the vagina actually help PREVENT you from getting infections. (Microbiology and Immunology grad student here)

    Moving on from the wonders of bacteria to actually answer OP's question - I would be fine with a buffet. I'd rather spend time with the hosts and other guests at a buffet than alone at a nice restaurant. DH went to a DW just after we started dating. The B&G had an itinerary they gave to the guests that had at least 1 activity or meal per day that they were doing that the guests could join them at if they wanted. This included golf, an off-resort trip, meals, the spa (spa credits were given to each guest). DH really liked this.



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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    As you know my DH is a chef.   Neither him or any of his chef friends eat at buffets.   I just figure they have some sort of inside information we do not know about.  Ha.

    Oddly enough, they cook buffets all the time for work.  So the is not against cookiing for them, just eating from them.   

    Weird.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
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    lyndausvi said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    As you know my DH is a chef.   Neither him or any of his chef friends eat at buffets.   I just figure they have some sort of inside information we do not know about.  Ha.

    Oddly enough, they cook buffets all the time for work.  So the is not against cookiing for them, just eating from them.   

    Weird.

    Maybe it is a freshness thing? Like they don't trust the food at buffets to be as fresh as when you sit down and order something.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    jdluvr06 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    As you know my DH is a chef.   Neither him or any of his chef friends eat at buffets.   I just figure they have some sort of inside information we do not know about.  Ha.

    Oddly enough, they cook buffets all the time for work.  So the is not against cookiing for them, just eating from them.   

    Weird.

    Maybe it is a freshness thing? Like they don't trust the food at buffets to be as fresh as when you sit down and order something.
    Maybe, but these same boys eat at Taco Bell, but do not eat at chain sit-down restaurants.  So who knows?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    photokittyphotokitty mod
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    edited June 2014
    lyndausvi said:
    jdluvr06 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?




    As you know my DH is a chef.   Neither him or any of his chef friends eat at buffets.   I just figure they have some sort of inside information we do not know about.  Ha.

    Oddly enough, they cook buffets all the time for work.  So the is not against cookiing for them, just eating from them.   

    Weird.

    Maybe it is a freshness thing? Like they don't trust the food at buffets to be as fresh as when you sit down and order something.
    Maybe, but these same boys eat at Taco Bell, but do not eat at chain sit-down restaurants.  So who knows?
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    The only fast food place in a 25 mile radius from us is Wendy's now.  At 25 miles out you will find Mc Donalds and I think Arby's not sure.  So he had not had the pleasure of trying out any new Taco Bell products.  I hate TB, I get nauseas just walking in the place.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    selenathegreatselenathegreat member
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    (Avoiding the whole PPD issue) I actually love buffets! I love getting a little bit of a bunch of things. I'm not very squeamish or germaphobic, though.
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    pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    edited June 2014
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?





    I don't like buffets because usually the food isn't as good/fresh, not because of the germs/bacteria/whatever. It it is meant to be hot usually it is greasy or dry from sitting there. If it is meant to be cold, often it isn't as cold as it would be if I ordered it. I also have a habit of overeating at buffets. When I order, I can cut my order in half and eat just that. 


    ETA: These are buffet restaurants. I don't mind buffet events. For example, the golf course I am having my wedding at does buffets regularly and their buffets are amazing.

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    hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
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    edited June 2014
    lyndausvi said:


    jdluvr06 said:


    lyndausvi said:


    PrettyGirlLost said:

    I think buffets are fine.  People should be more concerned with the bacteria they are carrying around on their flip-flops while they walk around town, than picking up germs from other ppl at a buffet.  You guys know that you likely are carrying MRSA on your shoes right now, right? ;-)

    I'm not sure I understand the expectation that ppl traveling to a DW should be invited to some hosted event with the B&G the night before the wedding, or else it's rude.  Do ppl also expect the same if they are going to an OOT wedding stateside?

    The last several weddings I have been to were all OOT for me and I did not expect to see the B&G the night before the wedding, let alone expect to be invited to a hosted dinner or social event.  Nothing of the sort was planned, I never saw the couple until their wedding day, and I didn't feel slighted.

    Am I missing something?





    As you know my DH is a chef.   Neither him or any of his chef friends eat at buffets.   I just figure they have some sort of inside information we do not know about.  Ha.

    Oddly enough, they cook buffets all the time for work.  So the is not against cookiing for them, just eating from them.   

    Weird.




    Maybe it is a freshness thing? Like they don't trust the food at buffets to be as fresh as when you sit down and order something.


    Maybe, but these same boys eat at Taco Bell, but do not eat at chain sit-down restaurants.  So who knows?

    ****************

    Omg are you MARRIED to my Fi? Hahahaha, he is a chef at a private restaurant, cooks buffets allllllllllll the time, and won't even TOUCH one he isn't ACTIVELY involved with. He'll eat at chain sit-downs, but he will often gripe about the food. Where me, I'll go to Golden Corral or Ryan's just about any day of the week. I can get pizza, tacos, sliders, AND popcorn shrimp? Hellz yeah, sign me up!

    He is a major fan of the AM Crunchwrap, if your H decides he wants to try Taco Bell for breakfast.

    Op - spend time with your guests. They came to see you. If that means shelling out extra for the nicer places, that's what you should do. If your crowd would rather go hang at the buffet, do that.

    Everyone else - yes. She's having a DPPD. Yes, it's EXTREMELY poor etiquette, a whole lot of lying, and generally tacky and gross. Is she going to all of a sudden change her plans cus y'all picked on her incessantly? I am going to have to go with no. And frankly, that's her business. Y'all have made your points, she's made hers (ish), let it go. Either give her the advice she ASKED for or quit going in her threads. We are all supposedly grown-ass women (and men, hi dudes!). /rant

    Eta - I got MOST of the quote box... Where the rest of it went, I have no idea.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    @CaitTDid23 said,     "Everyone else - yes. She's having a DPPD. Yes, it's EXTREMELY poor etiquette, a whole lot of lying, and generally tacky and gross. Is she going to all of a sudden change her plans cus y'all picked on her incessantly? I am going to have to go with no. And frankly, that's her business. Y'all have made your points, she's made hers (ish), let it go. Either give her the advice she ASKED for or quit going in her threads. We are all supposedly grown-ass women (and men, hi dudes!). /rant"


    If a grown-ass woman has no qualms about flippantly and arrogantly discussing her ability to lie to her supposed friends and "deal with fall out" if and when it happens, she is in no need of being defended.  What she is doing is indefensible.  What she does may be her business, but once she chooses to post it on a public forum, it becomes anyone and everyone's business. 
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    IrishPirate60 said:
    What about talking with the resort management about those "extra fees"? Part of what the resort is getting is great advertising, a chance to woo some new customers. Maybe they'd think about a flat fee (much like restaurants charge 18% gratuity for large groups).
    I definitely plan to attempt some sort of negotiation with them. I thinks it's absurd to charge a group that's already paid for their meals in advance an additional $33 per person because they'd like to dine together. I've run bars and restaurants pretty much my entire adult life and cannot fathom what these fees cover. It doesn't take $33 per person's worth of money to pay a few people to push a few tables together. That's the only difference. It's pure highway robbery. 
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    lilybet13 said:
    Question: If guests are paying to stay at an AI, then they're also paying for their food, right? How does that work for "hosting" a meal, if everyone is essentially paying his/her own and the hosts are only paying some seating fee?

    I don't really know how it works with large groups at AIs when one wants to host events.
    This is what is at the core of what's bugging me about paying - every guest at the resort has already pre-paid for their drinks and meals by virtue of booking their stay. The resort apparently robs the shit out of its guests by charging additional fees for large groups. And the fees are outrageous. After tax and built in grat it's an additional $33 per person. Which we'd pay in the spirit of hosting but there's a certain amount of principal that doesn't sit right with me. $33 per person more than covers paying a staff member to push a couple of tables together. If we're going to spend that, which I don't know where that stands at the moment, I'd prefer to go off the resort just to not give the money to a resort that's already been paid. 
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    JoanE2012 said:
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    IrishPirate60 said:
    What about talking with the resort management about those "extra fees"? Part of what the resort is getting is great advertising, a chance to woo some new customers. Maybe they'd think about a flat fee (much like restaurants charge 18% gratuity for large groups).
    I definitely plan to attempt some sort of negotiation with them. I thinks it's absurd to charge a group that's already paid for their meals in advance an additional $33 per person because they'd like to dine together. I've run bars and restaurants pretty much my entire adult life and cannot fathom what these fees cover. It doesn't take $33 per person's worth of money to pay a few people to push a few tables together. That's the only difference. It's pure highway robbery. 
    At least they're upfront with you and not lying.  Imagine if you planned this dinner, attended and then found out afterwards they were going to charge you?  Wouldn't you be really ticked off then?
    @JoanE2012, I'm sorry you're late to the party on all this. But seriously, let it go. This thread is solely about whether guests would prefer a nice dinner in smaller groups or a mediocre one in a large group. I'm not interested in what a few women on the internet think of our not telling people we signed our marriage license prior to our DW. Everything I have to say on the subject can be found in other threads. Continuing the discussion, especially in light of the fact that we're not changing our plans, is a giant waste of your time. 
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    MobKaz said:
    @CaitTDid23 said,     "Everyone else - yes. She's having a DPPD. Yes, it's EXTREMELY poor etiquette, a whole lot of lying, and generally tacky and gross. Is she going to all of a sudden change her plans cus y'all picked on her incessantly? I am going to have to go with no. And frankly, that's her business. Y'all have made your points, she's made hers (ish), let it go. Either give her the advice she ASKED for or quit going in her threads. We are all supposedly grown-ass women (and men, hi dudes!). /rant"


    If a grown-ass woman has no qualms about flippantly and arrogantly discussing her ability to lie to her supposed friends and "deal with fall out" if and when it happens, she is in no need of being defended.  What she is doing is indefensible.  What she does may be her business, but once she chooses to post it on a public forum, it becomes anyone and everyone's business. 
    @CaitTDid23 - I totally agree with your logic. There's nothing more to discuss on the signed-license-before-DW subject. But I knew I could count on a few people bringing it up on this thread and I planned to ignore them because what concerns me at this very moment is planning a nice night-before dinner for our guests. 

    @MobKaz - I don't think she was actually trying to defend me or my actions. I think her point was that it's ridiculous to go completely off the subject matter just to attempt to insult me. The good news is since the attempted insults are expected from some of you I can predict them and they don't have their desired effect. If however you have anything to add about all-inclusives, group dining fees at said all-inclusives, buffets or pre-wedding dinners I'm all ears. 
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    JoanE2012 said:
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    JoanE2012 said:
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    IrishPirate60 said:
    What about talking with the resort management about those "extra fees"? Part of what the resort is getting is great advertising, a chance to woo some new customers. Maybe they'd think about a flat fee (much like restaurants charge 18% gratuity for large groups).
    I definitely plan to attempt some sort of negotiation with them. I thinks it's absurd to charge a group that's already paid for their meals in advance an additional $33 per person because they'd like to dine together. I've run bars and restaurants pretty much my entire adult life and cannot fathom what these fees cover. It doesn't take $33 per person's worth of money to pay a few people to push a few tables together. That's the only difference. It's pure highway robbery. 
    At least they're upfront with you and not lying.  Imagine if you planned this dinner, attended and then found out afterwards they were going to charge you?  Wouldn't you be really ticked off then?
    @JoanE2012, I'm sorry you're late to the party on all this. But seriously, let it go. This thread is solely about whether guests would prefer a nice dinner in smaller groups or a mediocre one in a large group. I'm not interested in what a few women on the internet think of our not telling people we signed our marriage license prior to our DW. Everything I have to say on the subject can be found in other threads. Continuing the discussion, especially in light of the fact that we're not changing our plans, is a giant waste of your time. 
    Yes, I somehow overlooked the threads about your DPPD.  And?  If I'm made aware of it, you better believe I'm going to mention it, especially when it then makes this post senseless.  Your post is on an etiquette board.  You want to know what's "right" for your guests regarding dinner.  Yet you're lying to them about the whole wedding!  Yeah.....ummmm.....ok. 

    Oh, and don't worry about my time, how I post or what I post.  It's a public message board.  You don't get to dictate how people respond to your posts.
    I'll never comprehend how not telling some of our guests we were legally married in the states prior to our DW equals fuck it, we can throw out all proper hosting protocol, etc., and just do as we damn well please. If that made sense I'd be signing us up for a honeymoon registry and figuring out how to turn the reception in to a cash bar. But whatever. I'll continue to concern myself with our pre-wedding dinner and will consider what posters who actually answered my question had to say because I'm a considerate host and that's what considerate hosts do. 

    I wouldn't call what I am "worried" about what you do with your time. And you're right, it is a public message board you can babble on off topic as you see fit. Carry on.
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
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    MobKaz said:
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    lilybet13 said:
    Question: If guests are paying to stay at an AI, then they're also paying for their food, right? How does that work for "hosting" a meal, if everyone is essentially paying his/her own and the hosts are only paying some seating fee?

    I don't really know how it works with large groups at AIs when one wants to host events.
    This is what is at the core of what's bugging me about paying - every guest at the resort has already pre-paid for their drinks and meals by virtue of booking their stay. The resort apparently robs the shit out of its guests by charging additional fees for large groups. And the fees are outrageous. After tax and built in grat it's an additional $33 per person. Which we'd pay in the spirit of hosting but there's a certain amount of principal that doesn't sit right with me. $33 per person more than covers paying a staff member to push a couple of tables together. If we're going to spend that, which I don't know where that stands at the moment, I'd prefer to go off the resort just to not give the money to a resort that's already been paid. 


    You know it's coming.......irony number 4.........
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    Sure did. Like clock work. 
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    hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
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    edited June 2014
    @MobKaz Nope, DEFINITELY not defending her. I think the fact that she isn't telling her family and friends what she's doing/done is absolutely reprehensible. ( @STBMrsEverhart, please take notice - I don't agree with the whole principle of your plan.) BUT, I definitely do not think it's worth railroading her YET AGAIN about it when it's been rehashed and rehashed - clearly she's okay with her choices in life. I've been lurking on these forums since March, and posting occasionally since mid-May, and LITERALLY every time she posts anything, the PPD thing gets thrown in her face whether or not it's immediately relevant. I'm kind of sick of reading how her whole plan sucks, and she asks legitimate questions that I myself would like an answer to occasionally for my OWN wedding. 

    Moving on. DID I SEE YOU SAY IT WOULD COST UPWARD OF $33 PER PERSON to host at one of the ALREADY PAID FOR restaurants? Fucking shit balls. Go off-campus and find somewhere. You can definitely do better than that.
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    AlexisA01AlexisA01 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    Why keep bugging her about her PDD? I know it's an etiquette board but it's useless especially since she doesn't care. Everybody has pretty much said something about it being rude and tacky and it's like talking to a thick, very stubborn brick wall. Perhaps the wedding wire or wedding bee would a great place so her ideas will be validated?

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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    CaitTDid23 said:
    @MobKaz Nope, DEFINITELY not defending her. I think the fact that she isn't telling her family and friends what she's doing/done is absolutely reprehensible. ( @STBMrsEverhart, please take notice - I don't agree with the whole principle of your plan.) BUT, I definitely do not think it's worth railroading her YET AGAIN about it when it's been rehashed and rehashed - clearly she's okay with her choices in life. I've been lurking on these forums since March, and posting occasionally since mid-May, and LITERALLY every time she posts anything, the PPD thing gets thrown in her face whether or not it's immediately relevant. I'm kind of sick of reading how her whole plan sucks, and she asks legitimate questions that I myself would like an answer to occasionally for my OWN wedding. 

    Moving on. DID I SEE YOU SAY IT WOULD COST UPWARD OF $33 PER PERSON to host at one of the ALREADY PAID FOR restaurants? Fucking shit balls. Go off-campus and find somewhere. You can definitely do better than that.
    I was never under the impression you condoned our plan in any way. I just interpreted your earlier comment to be in favor of leaving completely irrelevent opinion pieces on threads they were in some way or another related to for the benefit of all. 

    Yes, $33 per person. And that wasn't factoring in an additional $290 if we want to utilize the wine cellar below the italian restaurant as private dining. So not only is pushing tables together costly at this place, asking the staff to use stairs for a few hours is a budget killer too :-/ I see a resort shuttle and a restaurant in town in our future..... 
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    hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    STBMrsEverhart said:
    CaitTDid23 said:
    @MobKaz Nope, DEFINITELY not defending her. I think the fact that she isn't telling her family and friends what she's doing/done is absolutely reprehensible. ( @STBMrsEverhart, please take notice - I don't agree with the whole principle of your plan.) BUT, I definitely do not think it's worth railroading her YET AGAIN about it when it's been rehashed and rehashed - clearly she's okay with her choices in life. I've been lurking on these forums since March, and posting occasionally since mid-May, and LITERALLY every time she posts anything, the PPD thing gets thrown in her face whether or not it's immediately relevant. I'm kind of sick of reading how her whole plan sucks, and she asks legitimate questions that I myself would like an answer to occasionally for my OWN wedding. 

    Moving on. DID I SEE YOU SAY IT WOULD COST UPWARD OF $33 PER PERSON to host at one of the ALREADY PAID FOR restaurants? Fucking shit balls. Go off-campus and find somewhere. You can definitely do better than that.
    I was never under the impression you condoned our plan in any way. I just interpreted your earlier comment to be in favor of leaving completely irrelevent opinion pieces on threads they were in some way or another related to for the benefit of all. 

    Yes, $33 per person. And that wasn't factoring in an additional $290 if we want to utilize the wine cellar below the italian restaurant as private dining. So not only is pushing tables together costly at this place, asking the staff to use stairs for a few hours is a budget killer too :-/ I see a resort shuttle and a restaurant in town in our future..... 
    Good deal.

    Also - HELL NAW GURL go find somewhere cheaper. Food is already paid for + $33 times x people +$290? No way.
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    mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    AlexisA01 said:
    Why keep bugging her about her PDD? I know it's an etiquette board but it's useless especially since she doesn't care. Everybody has pretty much said something about it being rude and tacky and it's like talking to a thick, very stubborn brick wall. Perhaps the wedding wire or wedding bee would a great place so her ideas will be validated?
    I'm not the type to need or seek validation. Not acquiescing to the arguments of others isn't the same thing as shopping the idea for smiley faces and thumbs up. If a handful of people weren't so shitty to brides on here about every thing they find slightly crass people like myself wouldn't stick around to give it right back. I'm just tenacious and stubborn, not at all needy and insecure, so if anything you're mistaken about my motives for posting. 
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    lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Could the additional fee be for getting meals out to a large group all at once? Maybe they stagger reservations for dinner otherwise to keep the kitchen running smoothly. In any case, I'd ask. And then try to negotiate.
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