Wedding Etiquette Forum

What would you rather?

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Re: What would you rather?

  • lc07 said:
    Could the additional fee be for getting meals out to a large group all at once? Maybe they stagger reservations for dinner otherwise to keep the kitchen running smoothly. In any case, I'd ask. And then try to negotiate.
    Reservations aren't required at any of the restaurants so I don't think that's it. But it's a better guess than anything I've come up with so far. I have an email out to a manager since I don't think setting up a dinner reservation is necessarily under the purview of the wedding coordinator who quoted me the prices. I just can't believe people willingly shell out that kind of money at a place their meals are already included in the price they've already paid in order to dine with family and friends. It's absurd and such an unreasonable amount that I think I've now entered in to the denial phase of thinking on this situation. Hopefully whoever responds will be reasonable and amenable to skirting around their crazy policies!
  • PPD stuff aside....

    $33 PER PERSON? On top of the included fee already paid for the meal? Seriously? No. Not worth it.

    Here's the thing about buffets... I LOVE them. Not so much for weddings and those type of events, but restaurant buffets? Love em. Sorry, not sorry. Buuut... not the night before a wedding. I have a super fast metabolism, but I worry about fitting into my dress and all that. So, I might eat less and waste the money. Also, I love buffets, but I'm not unaware that they can make you sick. I myself have ended up with regrets. It's cool, I feel better after a few hours... but that's not something I would want to risk the night before I attend a wedding... or whatever it is.
    image
  • Also ignoring PPD.

    I like buffets, but for that kind of money, you're better off finding a nice restaurant somewhere else.

    For a DW, it's nice to offer a place to get everyone together if they choose to attend.
  • What about the flip side to this? OP is concerned that the $33/pp + $290 is a waste of their money and therefore is considering going offsite. What about the guests who have paid for AI and are now not utilizing it? This is a waste for them. I do see the irony in being concerned with ONE aspect of good etiquette and hosting but not another. Kinda like, I'm going to kick you in the balls regardless, but I'm concerned if punching you in the face is rude. THEYRE BOTH RUDE.
    Rebl90
  • Fran1985 Fran1985 Narnia member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Does having a DW at an all inclusive mean the guests are paying for part of the reception? Like does that money go the reception night or is the reception paid for totally seperate? 

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  • FizzySips said:
    What about the flip side to this? OP is concerned that the $33/pp + $290 is a waste of their money and therefore is considering going offsite. What about the guests who have paid for AI and are now not utilizing it? This is a waste for them. I do see the irony in being concerned with ONE aspect of good etiquette and hosting but not another. Kinda like, I'm going to kick you in the balls regardless, but I'm concerned if punching you in the face is rude. THEYRE BOTH RUDE.
    Can't say that I agree. Not paying for dinner is not paying for dinner, regardless of where it is. If a guest has their heart set on a particular restaurant on-site for dinner that night, I have a 1-in-9 chance that that's where we'd be dining. If it's not they would then have to decline our invite and go off on their own, which would be totally okay, but then the whole discussion becomes moot. 

    As for the other point you raised, I'm not in agreement there either. I'm not living life in attempts at sainthood, but that doesn't mean I don't see wisdom and logic in not throwing the baby out with the bath water. Obviously I don't agree with the whole "PPD" nonsense the way some do in the first place. And that's my right. I don't see how my marriage license, no matter when or where it was signed, somehow absolves me of no longer being concerned about properly hosting an event. Like I've said before, I'm not suddenly going to start picking out music for my dollar dance and throwing my own cash-only shower FFS just because we're not advertising the legal particulars. 
  • PPD stuff aside.... $33 PER PERSON? On top of the included fee already paid for the meal? Seriously? No. Not worth it. Here's the thing about buffets... I LOVE them. Not so much for weddings and those type of events, but restaurant buffets? Love em. Sorry, not sorry. Buuut... not the night before a wedding. I have a super fast metabolism, but I worry about fitting into my dress and all that. So, I might eat less and waste the money. Also, I love buffets, but I'm not unaware that they can make you sick. I myself have ended up with regrets. It's cool, I feel better after a few hours... but that's not something I would want to risk the night before I attend a wedding... or whatever it is.
    I'm trying to avoid the buffet situation altogether. I don't mind them at events I'm just not a fan of buffet restaurants, personal preference. I do have a feeling no matter where we eat that night I'll probably not eat much myself anyway. I'm not too worried about traveler's stomach upset overall but the thought of any type of upset the next day freaks me out. Nor would I want to risk being up all night sick. Probably overthinking and worrying for no good reason but better to be safe and all that. 

    I'm going to have to shelve trying to plan this dinner until I hear back from a manager at the resort. Until then I'm just running over my current options in my head repeatedly and not liking any of them all that much. Hopefully he or she will have better news for me and I can plan something on-site without being charged extra for no apparent reason. 
  • @MobKaz Nope, DEFINITELY not defending her. I think the fact that she isn't telling her family and friends what she's doing/done is absolutely reprehensible. ( @STBMrsEverhart, please take notice - I don't agree with the whole principle of your plan.) BUT, I definitely do not think it's worth railroading her YET AGAIN about it when it's been rehashed and rehashed - clearly she's okay with her choices in life. I've been lurking on these forums since March, and posting occasionally since mid-May, and LITERALLY every time she posts anything, the PPD thing gets thrown in her face whether or not it's immediately relevant. I'm kind of sick of reading how her whole plan sucks, and she asks legitimate questions that I myself would like an answer to occasionally for my OWN wedding. 

    Moving on. DID I SEE YOU SAY IT WOULD COST UPWARD OF $33 PER PERSON to host at one of the ALREADY PAID FOR restaurants? Fucking shit balls. Go off-campus and find somewhere. You can definitely do better than that.
    I was never under the impression you condoned our plan in any way. I just interpreted your earlier comment to be in favor of leaving completely irrelevent opinion pieces on threads they were in some way or another related to for the benefit of all. 

    Yes, $33 per person. And that wasn't factoring in an additional $290 if we want to utilize the wine cellar below the italian restaurant as private dining. So not only is pushing tables together costly at this place, asking the staff to use stairs for a few hours is a budget killer too :-/ I see a resort shuttle and a restaurant in town in our future..... 
    Good deal.

    Also - HELL NAW GURL go find somewhere cheaper. Food is already paid for + $33 times x people +$290? No way.
    Agreed. 
  • Does having a DW at an all inclusive mean the guests are paying for part of the reception? Like does that money go the reception night or is the reception paid for totally seperate? 
    I can only speak for our resort - the wedding and reception are completely separate fees. 
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