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My "hypothetical" dress price pictures!

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Re: My "hypothetical" dress price pictures!

  • Anyone else see the irony in calling the dress inspired by a children's cartoon the "more mature" dress?

    Just a funny observation. I agree with QF: if you're going to have the train removed, why spend money on such an expensive dress? Find a dress with a smaller train so you aren't losing as much fabric (that you are paying for) or find a cheaper dress.
    Anniversary
  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    Y'know... Lolo makes an excellent point. I'll change my stance a little. Someone finding new happiness is a bigger deal than an already standing LTM. Especially to the point where you're having a re-do.

    FI's grandparents were married 58 years. They had plenty of ups and downs and even some pretty serious drama when his grandpa came home on leave from Korea for their wedding, but they didn't care about doing a vow renewal (FMIL thought it would be nice for them to do one for one of their milestone anniversaries and was going to host it for them). Hell, I think they even declined anniversary parties. Their commitment to each other was pretty dang clear.

    The only thing they did that ever told anybody how long they were married was during one the anniversary dance at weddings. They were always the last ones standing.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

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  • You know, I think it is great you want to celebrate your successful 10 year marriage. However, I don't see it as more important than a second/third/fourth/tenth wedding. All weddings should be considered important regardless of our view on them.

    Now, do I ever plan to have a vow renewal (especially at 10 years)? No. But if you can afford what you are planning and are truly not doing a do over or violating vow renewal etiquette (except wedding party as you stated), then I don't see a problem with it. To each their own I suppose.

    You could always look at bridesmaids dresses or formal gowns instead of bridal gowns. I know Dessy has a huge selection of different chiffon gowns for less than $300. I could never justify spending $1,200 on a dress for a vow renewal but it seems that it was you budgeted for.

  • Do I truly feel that a second marriage is a bad thing? Absolutely not. Sometimes a second marriage is the perfect marriage. By then you really know what you need as a person. 3rd marriages and on, do I think you should do a big wedding. No I don't. That's me being a "judgey pants" as many of you are doing with me. Do I think finding new love is more important than a LTM, probably equal. Both are magical.

    You are absolutely right when I said I don't want a weddingy dress. The three dresses I chose, in my opinion, especially the first (maybe not so much the second), aren't as "weddingy" to me. They aren't poofy ball gowns. I fell in love with a dress that had a big skirt thing you had to put on underneath it and while I loved it, I knew it was not appropriate. 

    Yes, I still want a beautiful gown. I am looking in bridal stores and still looking at the bridesmaid section too. I do have a big budget. But I'm not having a do-over or a PPD. I'm having a formal vow renewal with 60 friends and family and I'm certainly not the first one to do it. I think the Little People Big World did it last night on TV. I think Seal and Heidi Klum did it every year in a huge celebration with a gown and everything. Many of my friends have done this, I've attended more than one.

    We are not accepting gifts. We are simply throwing a party to celebrate a milestone in our lives and including our children. All of my friends and family are super excited about it. I have friends who have created Pinterest boards to Pin gowns they like, centerpieces they think I should use and on and on. 

    I'm not ashamed of it, I'm not feeling bad about spending money on the vow renewal as someone had said. I'm incredibly excited to spend money on it. I'm also getting a ton of stuff free due to my blog which is a blessing. 

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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The first dress looks awesome on you.  The second is OK.  Don't go with the third dress just because it is cheaper, especially if you don't love it and feel gorgeous in it.  
    You said it yourself in your OP, you can afford any one of these dresses so pick the one that you love, not the one with the smallest price tag.
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  • Uh, those are all very "weddingy" dresses.
  • I'm going to change my screen name to JudgeyPants and hang out on the etiquette board going after people for having PPDs now. 
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2014
    I'm going to change my screen name to JudgeyPants and hang out on the etiquette board going after people for having PPDs now. 
    Hehe.  If you change it, I take credit for coining it.

    ETA: and feel free to put those judgey pants on for PPDs.  Multiple weddings to different people, no.  Multiple weddings to same person, fair game for the judgey pants.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • image
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • Um yeah, not ashamed of that at all. You can repost anything that I put out to the public 10 times over and I'll say THANK YOU for the traffic. And in case you didn't notice, it said from the past. This had nothing to do with my current marriage. My supportive husband was sitting with me while I was losing my shit over a relationship from my past. So next time you want to try and shame me, using a post from my blog that made me nearly $800 is not going to work. But please, keep visiting because each time you do I make money! <3
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  • I held my tongue, till now...

    I see your judgey pants on my second and wedding and raise you a side eye after reading your blog post "how reconnection with an old flame led me down a dark path"...maybe you shouldn't post your blog link in your Miss High & Mighty posts...just sayin'. But then if you didn't you wouldn't get any traffic and how would you pay for your renewal...you BIG fancy vow renewal, while you judge second time brides.

    Soooo...Please explain to me how a woman so blissfully and unabashedly planning a 10 year vow renewal **while passing judgment on other brides** can get so worked up over her "first love" not remembering the relationship in the same way she idyllically recalls??? 

    So worked up that she chews a hole in her lips and her husband has to tell her to leave the former flame alone. 

    12 pages of crazy - she overnighted, with  tracking number to his OFFICE a 12 page pity party letter - bc that's what a woman in a happy & healthy marriage does...said none ever! But hey, you deserve a celebration to commend you on reaching 10 years more than I deserved a big second wedding that we paid for ourselves.

    If you "need" your high school boyfriend to acknowledge your relationship and the love you once had, then you have bigger problems than which dress to wear. I bet Jeff has even more fond memories of you now that you plastered his photo all over the internet - restraining order anyone.

    Judge me all you want, I'll judge you right back.
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  • Yeah, I don't think I'm considered a vendor just because you guys click on my blog link. I've been posting along with you for nearly two months about this and that. And basically until today it hasn't been an issue. But because today I voiced my opinion, which the majority of you do on a normal basis, you are attacking me. And no, I don't want a redo and it has nothing to do with free stuff. I get free stuff all the time, and it isn't really considered free in the long run with how much work I have to put into it. I think you are all getting a little too upset about this. I stated my opinion. A lot of you stated yours about my vow renewal. And somehow I'm high and mighty?
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  • Um yeah, not ashamed of that at all. You can repost anything that I put out to the public 10 times over and I'll say THANK YOU for the traffic. And in case you didn't notice, it said from the past. This had nothing to do with my current marriage. My supportive husband was sitting with me while I was losing my shit over a relationship from my past. So next time you want to try and shame me, using a post from my blog that made me nearly $800 is not going to work. But please, keep visiting because each time you do I make money! <3
    My pride and sanity is worth way more than $800 to me. I also would never stoop to being a crazy person harassing my ex-boyfriend to make $800 - classy. In the past, as in last month...you husband deserves a medal for being supportive of his wife freaking out bc her high school boyfriend isn't pining away for her like she is him.

    I originally clicked the link out of curiosity and was going to keep my comment to myself. I will not go back, I did not find it worth my time...I must not have been the only one bc I saw your blog at the Huffington Post has been inactive for over a year. 

    So keep up the crazy and find some more ex's to harass...you'll need some shoes to go along with that dress. I'm sure you have plenty of self deprecating to write to make all that money. I'm going to get back to my real job, where I don't have to embarrass myself or former flames to earn a paycheck.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • OMG I love it. Kitty you are the best. 
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  •  
    Yeah, I don't think I'm considered a vendor just because you guys click on my blog link. I've been posting along with you for nearly two months about this and that. And basically until today it hasn't been an issue. But because today I voiced my opinion, which the majority of you do on a normal basis, you are attacking me. And no, I don't want a redo and it has nothing to do with free stuff. I get free stuff all the time, and it isn't really considered free in the long run with how much work I have to put into it. I think you are all getting a little too upset about this. I stated my opinion. A lot of you stated yours about my vow renewal. And somehow I'm high and mighty?
    I'm sure more people than me have rolled our eyes at it each time you whore it out in your signature but just ignore it because personal blog links are allowed. Promoting a business is not. If you are making money off your blog, it is a business.

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  • Lawd.  This just gets better and better.

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    Anniversary

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  • Alright I'm am going to leave this post on this note. I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with what I said about consecutive marriages. It was not very nice of me so I apologize. But I do want to point out that while I don't mind people reposting or taking things from my blog, this post that Kitty referred back to was about mental illness. While she found it amusing to make fun of me, she did miss the big picture. The post was about how I suffer from bi-polar disorder and I was suffering from a scary episode. I think this is a perfect example of how we all need to slow down and pay attention to how the things we say and do affect everyone and taking a breather before we post something could really save hurt feelings. So I'm sorry if I hurt some of you and came across high and mighty and please understand where I was in my head with that "restraining order" post Kitty was referring back to. I think her posting it was out of context.
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  •   I'm sure more people than me have rolled our eyes at it each time you whore it out in your signature but just ignore it because personal blog links are allowed. Promoting a business is not. If you are making money off your blog, it is a business.
    I'm not sure about TOS regarding personal blogs where you make money off traffic, so I'm staying out of that.

    But the difference is the type of "opinions" people are posting.  There were several different views shared on how "wedding-y" a vow renewal dress can/should be.  All of that discussion was respectful and nobody said you don't deserve a great dress.  But you had previously stated you didn't want a dress that was too bridal looking, so that topic was open for discussion.  We discussed it back and forth.  Nobody made personal attacks against you.

    Now compare that with your comment that later-in-life weddings are not as deserving of celebration as first/second weddings, or your ten-year VR.  Several posters on here have gone through a couple of bad marriage or relationships, and have finally found their person, maybe after kissing a few frogs along the way.  That's a personal insult to them.  You're basically stating your relationship is more worthy of celebration than theirs.  And there was an air of moral superiority with the whole statement about how we need to be teaching society about making relationships last.  This got personal and I think that's the distinction.  Do I think you meant to insult anybody individually?  Nope.  But you should understand how that can get taken personally.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Alright I'm am going to leave this post on this note. I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with what I said about consecutive marriages. It was not very nice of me so I apologize. But I do want to point out that while I don't mind people reposting or taking things from my blog, this post that Kitty referred back to was about mental illness. While she found it amusing to make fun of me, she did miss the big picture. The post was about how I suffer from bi-polar disorder and I was suffering from a scary episode. I think this is a perfect example of how we all need to slow down and pay attention to how the things we say and do affect everyone and taking a breather before we post something could really save hurt feelings. So I'm sorry if I hurt some of you and came across high and mighty and please understand where I was in my head with that "restraining order" post Kitty was referring back to. I think her posting it was out of context.
    Oops, I was typing when this went up.  Thanks for the bolded, that's all I was trying to get across.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I still think it's a fucking crime to hack off a train from a wedding gown. Vow renewal or not. Go buy an evening gown and be done with it. You are pissing off the dress gods.
    I gotta say...I've never been a fan of trains. I never wanted a dress with one. I dunno why, I just never got their purpose or cared much for them.

    Of course I'm wearing a red knee length dress from ModCloth so ya know...turns out traditional wedding gown in general...not my thing.
  • edited June 2014
    Alright I'm am going to leave this post on this note. I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with what I said about consecutive marriages. It was not very nice of me so I apologize. But I do want to point out that while I don't mind people reposting or taking things from my blog, this post that Kitty referred back to was about mental illness. While she found it amusing to make fun of me, she did miss the big picture. The post was about how I suffer from bi-polar disorder and I was suffering from a scary episode. I think this is a perfect example of how we all need to slow down and pay attention to how the things we say and do affect everyone and taking a breather before we post something could really save hurt feelings. So I'm sorry if I hurt some of you and came across high and mighty and please understand where I was in my head with that "restraining order" post Kitty was referring back to. I think her posting it was out of context.
    I'm sorry you were suffering from an episode. If you were, you should have sought professional help. Maybe, not write a blog post about harassing your ex, bc that's what you did, regardless of any mental illness you are battling. You then judged others. If you don't want people to read your blog and interrupt it or take it out of the context you intended, you should not post the link on a public forum.

    Maybe I should have taken pause before deciding to tell you how I felt, but you most certainly should have thought before attacking people just wanting to be happy. Second time brides did nothing to you, they have no baring on your vow renewal or the fact that you have been married 10 years. They would love to have been in a loving and supportive relationship for ten years...it just didn't play out that way for them, sometimes by no fault of their own.

    What you need to remember on a public forum and a public blog is this - When you judge others you need to be prepared to be judged yourself. In fact, just putting it out there without being judgmental you are opening yourself up to other's judgement bc you invited it.

    If a restraining order was involved I was unaware. I made a flippant comment based on your comments and having been stalked by an ex myself.

    Mental illness is a serious issue, but it does not give you carte blanche to judge people on the internet. It also does not give you a free pass to write whatever you want and expect people not to perceive it in their own way.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Wow, that escalated.
    Back to the dresses? I find none of them appropriate. This is just personal taste, and I know I'm in the minority, but vow renewal ceremonies in general make my ass ache. They're a weird invention of the 80's, and frankly, I've never liked them. 

    What the hell was wrong with nice anniversary parties? Put on an evening gown, invite your friends for a nice dinner and party, make a short and lovely speech about how you'd do it all over again, voila. 
    Why do people feel the need to dress up and play bride?

    While they're technically not a PPD, to me, many of them feel much the same, without the deception. Which makes a PPD much worse.  But both feel to me like an excuse for someone to dress up and play wedding. 
    In the interest of good taste, I would not prance around in a wedding dress 10, 20, or even 50 years after my wedding. I'd wear an age appropriate evening gown and call it an anniversary party. Celebrate what is, instead of recreating what's already been. 

    Taste is personal and not disputable, of course, and apologies to anyone who thinks vow renewals are lovely occasions. I just find them very AW-ish in general. Not my thing, and really not my thing when actual wedding dresses are involved. 
    I 100% agree with this. In my opinion, vow renewals are a slightly (VERY slightly) less shitty version of the PPD.
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