Too Early?

AmaaandaNicole · June 2014

So I'm an impatient person and extremely anxious to start planning things! I just want to get as much done as possible so I'm not stressing about it all a month or two before the big day on October 18th. I sent out my invites a couple of weeks ago. Yes I know....probably too soon. But it's so hard to plan anything without know who is going to attend. There's a big cost difference from 163 ppl and 75.

Has anyone else had success with sending them early like me? Any way of making sure ppl don't forget?

Btw....my mother likes to remind me every time that we talk that I sent them too early.....le sigh....

climbingsingle · June 2014

You sent your invites out a few weeks ago for a wedding in October? So we're talking like 5 months? Holy hell, woman. When is your RSVP date?

I don't understand why you needed to send them out that early. Typically your final payment isn't due until you give your venue the final headcount.

CMGragain · June 2014

Invitations should go out eight weeks before the wedding. I cannot understand why you thought sending them this early was a good idea. Chances are, most of your guests will put it aside and forget about it. Good luck with this. What were you thinking?

Maggie0829 · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

So I'm an impatient person and extremely anxious to start planning things! I just want to get as much done as possible so I'm not stressing about it all a month or two before the big day on October 18th. I sent out my invites a couple of weeks ago. Yes I know....probably too soon. But it's so hard to plan anything without know who is going to attend. There's a big cost difference from 163 ppl and 75.

Has anyone else had success with sending them early like me? Any way of making sure ppl don't forget?

Btw....my mother likes to remind me every time that we talk that I sent them too early.....le sigh....

Um, your Mother is right. You are inviting 163 people so you plan for 163 people. You don't wait for RSVPs and then plan your wedding because you don't want to spend so much money. If you don't want to spend so much money then you either need to re-think your vendors/choices or you should have had a smaller wedding.

melbelleup · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

So I'm an impatient person and extremely anxious to start planning things! I just want to get as much done as possible so I'm not stressing about it all a month or two before the big day on October 18th. I sent out my invites a couple of weeks ago. Yes I know....probably too soon. But it's so hard to plan anything without know who is going to attend. There's a big cost difference from 163 ppl and 75.

Has anyone else had success with sending them early like me? Any way of making sure ppl don't forget?

Btw....my mother likes to remind me every time that we talk that I sent them too early.....le sigh....

wayyyyyyy too early. I'm a week and few days away from my wedding and still am not stressing... good luck with people RSVPing...

lyndausvi · June 2014

It's great you want to plan early. Unfortunately, for you it's unlikely all 163 guests feel the same way. Personally speaking I can't RSVP until about a month out.

More than likely with your plan you will be more stressful than less stressful as people are not going to confirm this far out. Sure a few VIPs will, not everyone.

STARMOON44 · June 2014

Whelp, you've sent them. Now I'd get on with planning assuming everyone comes and no one rsvps until a month before.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

Holy shitballs! My wedding is two weeks after yours and I haven't even picked out invitations let alone sent them out!

ShesSoCold · June 2014

Yeah I sent my invitations out a few weeks ago for my 8/2 wedding. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too early. I second PP - when is your RSVP date?

You will likely have a lot of people miss the RSVP date simply because they will have forgotten about that invitation they received four months earlier.

JoanE2012 · June 2014

Sending them extra early is going to have the opposite effect than you had hoped for. You should be planning a wedding for the number of people that you invited. Did you really expect to get all the RSPVs back and then start planning? Dare I ask, what is your RSVP date?

AddieCake · June 2014

ShesSoCold said:

Yeah I sent my invitations out a few weeks ago for my 8/2 wedding. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too early. I second PP - when is your RSVP date?

You will likely have a lot of people miss the RSVP date simply because they will have forgotten about that invitation they received four months earlier.

Ummmm, mine never arrived.

ShesSoCold · June 2014

Shit. Now I know why y'all say to never talk about your wedding on FB. Now I have to come up with some excuse as to why you weren't invited. Surely knotties will have my ass if they know the truth - your boobs are better than mine and I simply cannot have that.

mysticl · June 2014

So if you sent them out early because you want a final count to plan around I'm guessing you also have a really early RSVP date. The problem you are going to run into is that those RSVPs won't be concrete because they are so far in the future. You could have people change their "yes" to "no" or just not show up. And people who said "no" may end up being able to come but don't because they said "no" or call and ask if it's okay to change to a "yes".

But there's nothing you can do about it now. I hope you have everyone's phone number because you are going to be making a lot of phone calls.

Viczaesar · June 2014

Logic fail. Good luck with that.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

scribe95 said:

I have seen this a few times recently - where brides are waiting to do major parts of the planning until after RSVPs. Is this a new trend?

Order the cake for 170 people. Plan centerpieces for all. Book the DJ. I don't get it.

God I hope not. This is really the first I have heard about it. And I just don't understand the concept. I mean if you can only afford X then you can only afford X and you plan accordingly.

Fran1985 · June 2014

Yeah I am planning on sending them early for my October 25 wedding (one week after yours). But I am planning on sending them the week of August 15... You just assume everyone is going to attend. Most of the time there is not a 50% decline rate. We are inviting 150- planning on 130 coming (but able to host all 150 both space and budget wise)

ShesSoCold · June 2014

Maggie0829 said: scribe95 said: I have seen this a few times recently - where brides are waiting to do major parts of the planning until after RSVPs. Is this a new trend?
Order the cake for 170 people. Plan centerpieces for all. Book the DJ. I don't get it. God I hope not. This is really the first I have heard about it. And I just don't understand the concept. I mean if you can only afford X then you can only afford X and you plan accordingly.

I agree. I mean, I guess I can kind of see where people think "well if I have X declines, I can afford the steak instead of the chicken" or whatever. But I don't agree with it - if you have a higher decline rate, then you save some money. How is this a bad thing?

EDITED because I swear there were once boxes and spaces.

mysticl · June 2014

scribe95 said:

I have seen this a few times recently - where brides are waiting to do major parts of the planning until after RSVPs. Is this a new trend?

Order the cake for 170 people. Plan centerpieces for all. Book the DJ. I don't get it.

And you don't even need to do some of that. We didn't have to have the final headcount into the venue for dinner until like a week before. I had really simple centerpieces that could be taken care of relatively last minute and what I didn't need for guest tables I just moved to the escort card table and the cake table. I lowballed the amount of cake ordered because my baker would allow us to order additional sheet cakes (same flavor, same frosting) up to about two weeks in advance (we ended up not needed the extra).

Just make sure you have a venue that can accommodate everyone and you have the money to pay for everyone and if you end up spending less, awesome.

Cookie Pusher · June 2014

Sending invitations out early and having an early RSVP date don't guarantee guest attendance. Our RSVP date was Monday, and since we received a response from one of our guests, their attendance status is completely up in the air due to a medical emergency. This happened in the last week, so having an early RSVP wouldn't have made a difference.

AmaaandaNicole · June 2014

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

Maggie0829 · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

Well what did you want us to say? And what advice were you expecting? Us to tell you to keep calling people until they give you a definite answer? No, that is not what you were going to get.

You screwed up so you just have to deal with the stress of trying to get your RSVPs back. We also told you to plan for 100% attendance regardless. There really isn't much more that we could say.

And to the bolded. Really? How old are you?

climbingsingle · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Well, what kind of advice were you expecting? Because short of fucking building a time machine, there's not much you can do. You sent out your invites 5 months in advance.

And you probably shot yourself in the foot. Because you'll probably have to call all these people to find out if they're coming because they'll forget to RSVP. You know, because you sent your invites 3 months too early.

Strawberry211chicago · June 2014

Does that get a bingo? can I play too?

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

CMGragain · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

Probably? You are in denial. You made a major mistake, and the result will be that you are going to need telephone a lot of your guests, apologize for having sent those invitations waaay to early, and keep track of your guests yourself. What magic advice were you expecting us to give you?

CMGragain · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

ig cosSo I'm an impatient person and extremely anxious to start planning things! I just want to get as much done as possible so I'm not stressing about it all a month or two before the big day on October 18th. I sent out my invites a couple of weeks ago. Yes I know....probably too soon. But it's so hard to plan anything without know who is going to attend. There's a bt difference from 163 ppl and 75.

Has anyone else had success with sending them early like me? Any way of making sure ppl don't forget?

Btw....my mother likes to remind me every time that we talk that I sent them too early.....le sigh....

Nope.

mysticl · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

Stuck in the Box

Been married over 3 years. He thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world.

Seriously, there is no advice. You keep track of things however you were planning on doing so. I used a spread sheet.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

I don't have a future husband. I have a future WIFE. Please stop assuming everyone on here is a heterosexual woman.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

CMGragain said:

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

Probably? You are in denial. You made a major mistake, and the result will be that you are going to need telephone a lot of your guests, apologize for having sent those invitations waaay to early, and keep track of your guests yourself. What magic advice were you expecting us to give you?

Time travel tips maybe?

Maggie0829 · June 2014

MagicInk said:

CMGragain said:

AmaaandaNicole said:

Wow. I can see why I don't venture into message boards anymore. Instead of being helpful I get judgmental "What were you thinking" and snide comments.

I do understand that I probably did send them out too early but is it more helpful to judge someone or give them a few tips on keeping track of everything like they requested. Thank you to whoever gave actual advice. I'll definitely take it into consideration.

To the rest of you...Good luck to your future husbands. Clearly they're going to need it.

Probably? You are in denial. You made a major mistake, and the result will be that you are going to need telephone a lot of your guests, apologize for having sent those invitations waaay to early, and keep track of your guests yourself. What magic advice were you expecting us to give you?

Time travel tips maybe?

Get a Delorean and hit 88mph (yes I am a smart ass).

sophhabobopha · June 2014

I came here super late but still. Holy hanna.

AddieCake · June 2014

Oh, good. The "good luck to your husbands/I feel sorry for your husbands" line. Yawn. I do wish people could be more original in their snark and insults. Please make a better effort next time, OP.

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