Ceremony and legal marriage on different days of same week?

McCMal · March 2014

Gina0887 said:

We kinda are in the same boat (Our 5 yr anniversary is August 29, 2014 and it's a Friday). So we decided to do the day after so we "dated 5 years before we got married". Do it the Sunday before with an afternoon ceremony and then you "entered you X number anniversary as husband and wife". At least it keeps some sentiment

Or do it the Saturday or Sunday (Is it ok to get married on a Sunday?) before so you get to wake up married on your anniversary.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

McCMal said:

Gina0887 said:

We kinda are in the same boat (Our 5 yr anniversary is August 29, 2014 and it's a Friday). So we decided to do the day after so we "dated 5 years before we got married". Do it the Sunday before with an afternoon ceremony and then you "entered you X number anniversary as husband and wife". At least it keeps some sentiment

Or do it the Saturday or Sunday (Is it ok to get married on a Sunday?) before so you get to wake up married on your anniversary.

Why would it not be okay to get married on a Sunday?

AddieCake · March 2014

Because of Jesus, Maggie!

MairePoppy · March 2014

Oh no, my daughter was married on a Sunday.

mysticl · March 2014

McCMal said:

Gina0887 said:

We kinda are in the same boat (Our 5 yr anniversary is August 29, 2014 and it's a Friday). So we decided to do the day after so we "dated 5 years before we got married". Do it the Sunday before with an afternoon ceremony and then you "entered you X number anniversary as husband and wife". At least it keeps some sentiment

Or do it the Saturday or Sunday (Is it ok to get married on a Sunday?) before so you get to wake up married on your anniversary.

Of course it is. Many Christians opt not to because it is their Sabbath. However, that does not pertain to religions who celebrate their Sabbath on a different day or people who are not religious.

mimiphin · March 2014

I always thought about not getting Married on a Sunday was so that guests didn't have to take Monday off work or leave the party early to get to bed.

mysticl · March 2014

mimiphin said:

I always thought about not getting Married on a Sunday was so that guests didn't have to take Monday off work or leave the party early to get to bed.

I think that is more the case these days with more weddings taking place at non religious locations. However, when I was a child and young adult almost every wedding I went to was in a church. You are going to have difficulty finding a Church that will hold a wedding on a Sunday because it's the day of worship. They are available on Saturday for weddings. The first wedding I went to that was not in a church was an interfaith couple (Jewish and Catholic). They held their ceremony outside, with a Justice of the Peace, on a Friday before sunset. That way both sides of the family could still participate in their sabbath celebrations.

KRD2014 · March 2014

years ago my mother married my stepfather on a date that was special to them, happened to be a tuesday. it was a very small outdoor ceremony with a few people, maybe less than 12, with a lunch reception afterwards. then on the following saturday they had another party with everyone (100 guests). she wore a nice dress, nicer than the casual sundress she got married in, and he wore a suit both days. back then, the clarifying terms were not scrutinized as much as they seem to be now -- i remember them calling the saturday party a "reception" and i didn't know any differently. maybe now they'd call it a celebration of marriage party. Anyway, a special date wedding and a weekend party can be done.

i think the way you label that here on these boards is what causes it to get complicated.

WildMagelet · March 2014

KRD2014 said:

Anyway, a special date wedding and a weekend party can be done. i think the way you label that here on these boards is what causes it to get complicated.

A weekend party afterwards is totally fine. Having a do-over stage reenactment of your (general) ceremony because you didn't invite guests to the real ceremony in which you were wed is what ruffles feathers.

QueerFemme · March 2014

KRD2014 said:

years ago my mother married my stepfather on a date that was special to them, happened to be a tuesday. it was a very small outdoor ceremony with a few people, maybe less than 12, with a lunch reception afterwards. then on the following saturday they had another party with everyone (100 guests). she wore a nice dress, nicer than the casual sundress she got married in, and he wore a suit both days. back then, the clarifying terms were not scrutinized as much as they seem to be now -- i remember them calling the saturday party a "reception" and i didn't know any differently. maybe now they'd call it a celebration of marriage party. Anyway, a special date wedding and a weekend party can be done. i think the way you label that here on these boards is what causes it to get complicated.

It's not the label that makes it complicated, it's the re-do of the ceremony for funsies later. That is why people think this idea is horrible. The way your mother did it is fine. But, dressing up in a wedding gown and having a fake wedding is not.

Marzipan13 · March 2014

This thread keeps getting better and better.

Edited: punctuation

CamiSelene · March 2014

I agree with PPs. It's weird to get legally married one day and have a fake wedding another. I did have a friend get legally married in vegas and then have a reception (no ceremony) in her hometown two weeks later when she got back to celebrate with those that couldn't go to the ceremony in vegas but that's a little different. What's wrong with doing the wedding on a Monday anyway? Sure, some people won't stay as late, but who cares? If the date is that important to you, then do it then, I always wanted to get married on my grandparents' anniversary and this year it will land on a Monday, so that's when we are doing it! (turns out they were married on a Monday too anyway! Lol) Besides, most venues are actually cheaper during the weekday anyways!

LDay2014 · March 2014

Would it be weird to give birth to a baby one day and then three days later (when mom feels better) get her all gussied up in hair and makeup so she can re-enact the whole thing so everyone can be there to witness the birth of her child?

Would it? FUCK YES...especially when it comes to baby's birthday. Which one is the one you celebrate? The actual pretty princess birthday where everyone got to see the fake redo?

This is an exaggeration, but PPDs are NO different

Edited: you know what wouldn't be weird though? Having a baby and then inviting everyone to celebrate the birth of your baby at a later date.

Knottie37373131 · March 2014

@pandabear813 You could always use the 25th as a special anniversary before you get married on Saturday if you were interested. Monday may not be the worst day to get married. I think that it would definitely be smaller but most likely the most important people would still be able to attend.

I feel as though if your family is aware of the fact that you are getting legally married on the 25th and having the ceremony after that it is not that big of a deal. I had a similar experience with criticism when posting invite wording for my reception as I am getting married in Jamaica with just Fiance and having a reception at home.

Honestly, I think that people are too quick to judge and criticise weddings these days. I don't know how many times I have been told to have the day that I want to have and to not worry about what others think.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

@pandabear813 I'm in the minority, but I don't think it's weird to want to have the two dates be the same. It's a special day, and could be doubly special. I get that

I agree with what @WishesComeTrue5 mentioned above. I don't think it would be so terrible if you did your legal wedding and a wedding reception or celebration within a few days of each other. As you already know, most people seem to disagree with it on here, but I think in the end, you should do the set up that makes sense for you and your guests, and makes everyone happiest. And, I suppose maybe let any guests know the plans (or just tell someone to disseminate the info), so people aren't offended.

McCMal · March 2014

Maggie0829 said:

McCMal said:

Gina0887 said:

We kinda are in the same boat (Our 5 yr anniversary is August 29, 2014 and it's a Friday). So we decided to do the day after so we "dated 5 years before we got married". Do it the Sunday before with an afternoon ceremony and then you "entered you X number anniversary as husband and wife". At least it keeps some sentiment

Or do it the Saturday or Sunday (Is it ok to get married on a Sunday?) before so you get to wake up married on your anniversary.

Why would it not be okay to get married on a Sunday?

I only thought maybe people would veer away from Sundays because either people will have church, and some people don't go out on the Sabbath day, or they don't want to go out and party the night before the work week starts. I was just curious if it was kind of a faux-pas.

rajahmd · March 2014

McCMal said:

Maggie0829 said:

McCMal said:

Gina0887 said:

We kinda are in the same boat (Our 5 yr anniversary is August 29, 2014 and it's a Friday). So we decided to do the day after so we "dated 5 years before we got married". Do it the Sunday before with an afternoon ceremony and then you "entered you X number anniversary as husband and wife". At least it keeps some sentiment

Or do it the Saturday or Sunday (Is it ok to get married on a Sunday?) before so you get to wake up married on your anniversary.

Why would it not be okay to get married on a Sunday?

I only thought maybe people would veer away from Sundays because either people will have church, and some people don't go out on the Sabbath day, or they don't want to go out and party the night before the work week starts. I was just curious if it was kind of a faux-pas.

We got married on a Sunday, and it worked out great. We planned it for a little earlier in the day (3pm) so that it ended at a decent time, but no one had issues the next day. Some family left earlier in the reception, but alot of our friends were actually really excited to have an excuse to take a vacation day the next day.

Ndelible · May 2014

OP --

Don't let anyone dissuade you from your attachment to the date. In spite of the cries of many, you can have as many weddings as you want. It's the day you choose to share. And you're right, Monday is a horrible day to have a wedding. In order to compromise, many states let you get a license ahead of time (it's good for so many days) and then you can do your ceremony. Might that work? Get the license on the day that is special to you, which is just a few days before your formal ceremony. All of this nonsense about fooling your guests is silly. You will be in front of everyone vowing to spend your lives together - that's the special moment; not the one where you sign a paper.

KGold80 · May 2014

Ndelible said:
OP --

Don't let anyone dissuade you from your attachment to the date. In spite of the cries of many, you can have as many weddings as you want. It's the day you choose to share. And you're right, Monday is a horrible day to have a wedding. In order to compromise, many states let you get a license ahead of time (it's good for so many days) and then you can do your ceremony. Might that work? Get the license on the day that is special to you, which is just a few days before your formal ceremony. All of this nonsense about fooling your guests is silly. You will be in front of everyone vowing to spend your lives together - that's the special moment; not the one where you sign a paper.

How many times are you going to resurrect old threads in support of people who want to have PPDs or include their kids in receiving vows or special gifts in the ceremony? Holy crap. It is weird. In this case the OP was so intent on having their marriage on a second day that they would have two ceremonies. My FI and I never even considered that as a possibility. Our first date was June 19, 2010 and we wanted a Saturday wedding so we picked the date that was closest to that - June 21, 2014, good enough. Why is making a 2 day compromise so friggin hard? It is a date. Have it all on the same day. No big friggin deal.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

MuppetOverlord said:

Yes, it is weird. The day you get married is going to be a special day all by itself.

Why can't there be 2 special days?

Or, if this is not negotiable for you, have your wedding on the Monday. People do weekday weddings all the time. Just don't expect people to stay as late.

I wouldn't want to be invited to your fake wedding. Just let me come see the real one. Give me cake and something to wash it down with and I'm cool.

I just want booze & food honestly...

OwningAHome1981 · May 2014

OP, do not do this a) b/c it's a PPD and b) weekday weddings suck - especially on a Monday.

My cousin got married on a Wednesday b/c she wanted to get married on her birthday and wouldn't budge on it. She got married on the beach in the afternoon and then we all went to dinner. While it was nice, everyone was complaining how much of a pain in the butt leaving work early/taking off/figuring out what to do with children was.

Just have it on a weekend and be done with it. One day, ceremony & reception that same day. Your wedding date will always be special to you - why does it need to be on the date you started dating?

What's more important, that date or your guests? B/c it seems to me the date is more important than the actual people - people who love you - and if that's the case, then that's pretty sh*tty.

slothiegal · May 2014

Ndelible said:

In spite of the cries of many, you can have as many weddings as you want.

SITB

OwningAHome1981 · June 2014

StephM161984 said:

My cousin got married on a Thursday, why can't you get married on a Monday?

You can but you will have a lot of inconvenienced and potentially unhappy people.

CMGragain · June 2014

Good Lord, just let this thread die. Everything has been said.

rogersdm1 · August 2014

I say do what you want and screw everyone with negative comments and who are close minded. It's a new day and age, all types of people do different, "out of the ordinary" things because that's what THEY want to do. None of these people commenting will be there. And as a matter of fact, my fiancé wants to get married in a courthouse marriage ahead of our planned date, I personally don't want to. But a couple guests who heard we may do it early we're saying "you better still have your wedding ceremony and reception" so people still want to see it and witness it. Do what you want. I refuse to believe things need to be locked in a box. Also, my mother was telling me that in her country that they do a courthouse wedding the year before and do an actual wedding ceremony and reception the year after. Yes I know it's a different country but if it's ok for them, why not for us? Whatever. Lol

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

rogersdm1 said:
It's a new day and age, all types of people do different, "out of the ordinary" things because that's what THEY want to do.

Yep. We call them Special Snowflakes.

When a zombie is resurrected once again, what's it called?

Ceremony and legal marriage on different days of same week?

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