Sibling differences

jenna8984 · June 2014

I find it so odd that two people can be raised in the exact same environment and turn out so differently/ have opposing characteristics. What is something you and your sibling are opposite about? My parents and I are very punctual and reliable. If we say we will be somewhere at certain time- we are there and we are there early.

My brother is a year older than me and he has become a total flake. He either shows up 2 hours late or not at all, without even a call. My grandma just called me devastated because he was supposed to bring his new baby to visit her on Sunday. She bought all this food and he was a no show no call. And he doesn't have valid reasons or excuses because I see on his facebook that he's just out playing basketball with his buddies or something like that. He is selfish with his time and never shows up to obligations (like family Christmas) and I have no idea where he got this from since the rest of us are not like that!

beachyone15 · June 2014

I have the same problem with my brother. He is also TERRIBLE at responding to texts. My FI texted him two days ago and he still hasn't responded. I think his head is honestly in a different place and he doesn't realize how rude he's being. It's still annoying though.

Inkdancer · June 2014

I wasn't raised with my siblings (they are either step or half siblings) but I still don't understand how they turned out the way they did.

My brother will probably be fine once he matures a bit (he's 23 and kind of an irresponsible dumbass). He's already drinking and partying less than he used to, and he's finally managed to hold down a job for a year. I want him to succeed.

But my stepsister... whoo. She is a grade-A beeyotch. She has made Dad cry on multiple occasions because of her selfishness and greed. She refused to come to his wedding to my mother because he wouldn't give her several thousand dollars to buy a camper. All she wants from him is money and nothing is ever good enough. I hope that when she looks back on her life she does not end up regretting how much she has hurt and alienated him.

littlemushroom · June 2014

My sister is really shy, only wants to stay home, never wants to try new things, and won't do anything on her own. She will only go out and do things if my mom (or sometimes me or my BFF) will go with her. She is 31.

I am the opposite. I am outgoing, will talk to pretty much anyone, and have no problem going places by myself or trying something new.

theartistformerlyknownas · June 2014

Yup. My sisters and I are three peas in a pod but my brother is a giant assface who nobody has spoken to in a year and has no intention of doing so in the future. Long story. I think he must have been switched at the hospital.

climbingsingle · June 2014

My brother and I are only 18 months apart (I'm older). In some ways, we're very similar. We have the same sense of humor, we love adventure. However, he's ruled totally by his emotions. He tends to be a follower. And he has a serious problem with addiction.

cupcait927 · June 2014

My sister and I probably couldn't be more different if we tried. We don't even look remotely the same (I'm my mom's mini-me and she's the spitting image of our dad). I was the good kid when we were younger, always did well in school, went to college, got a job right after and never asked my parents for anything. She, on the other hand, has pretty much acted like a child her entire life and continues to expect to be handed things on a silver platter, rather than working for it (she'll be 26 next month). I could go on but it makes me ragey to think about how selfish and awful she is about 90% of the time.

JCbride2015 · June 2014

Yeah, my sister and I are very different. She's "the pretty one" and I'm "the smart one," which I think became a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way as we got older. I always felt bad about the way I looked compared to her, and she started giving up on school because it seemed like she'd never do as well as I did.

I am way more academic and work-motivated than she ever has been. She had a rocky road through school and just graduated with her associate's degree (after six years of college). She finally has a certification in a field she likes, though, so I'm hoping things start getting better for her soon.

We look like sisters I guess, but I look more like my dad and she looks like my mom. I even act like my dad and she acts like my mom. My dad and I are very logical, rational, practical. My mom and sister are more emotional, dramatic, tender-hearted.

Basically, we're the perfect example of how birth order impacts your personality. Fi is the same way: the oldest child, and drastically different from the younger ones. I think birth order matters a lot.

LadyMillil · June 2014

I think based on some of my posts about bridezilla sister you can guess that we are nothing alike. She is basically the definition of the "entitlement generation" and can't take a no or criticism well. She seeks out attention all the time by either posting things on FB or trying to be the centre of attention during any situation. She is very much the "this is what I want. I don't care how that impacts you" inconsiderate person. Last summer she booked a flight to visit me BEFORE asking me if those dates worked for me. Than she got pissed that I couldn't spend the whole time with her because of work.

I like to think that I am the opposite of this. I work hard for what I want and accept that not always getting what I want is a part of life. I try to think of how my actions impact others.

We don't look alike at all. She is a younger version of my mom and they only relative I resemble is a great-great-grandmother on my dad's side.

emmyg65 · June 2014

My brother and I are alike in a lot of ways: we work in very similar fields, we both love to have fun, we're both good writers and storytellers, we care about our family, and we're pretty close.

But he has a stronger work ethic than me and likes money more (I work to live; he lives to work). He's also way, way more of a daredevil, whereas I've become increasingly anxious and cautious as I've gotten older. He's surfed next to a shark and has gone wilderness camping in Mexico. He's more agreeable and I'm a contrarian. I care more about politics and the state of the world.

My mom said that raising us was like raising two halves of one person because we're so similar but different.

SBmini · June 2014

We are all so different. I'm the oldest of three girls and definitely type A. I'm the one with a corporate gig, a house, two cars, etc. I overachieve, make lists, I'm an adventurer. I just need everything to happen at a higher intensity or I get bored.

My middle sister is super caring and compassionate and 100% devoted to other people. My dad once joked that you could tell if her friends were having boyfriend trouble based on her grades. She would swing wildly from As to Ds based on the lives of her friends. She went to trade school and does well for herself now as an aesthetician. She works really hard, has a good boyfriend whom she'll probably marry and just does everything in a more low key way. She wants a Vegas wedding, her idea of a vacation is lying around, she saves when she wants something. She's a good person and we're just different enough that we are great friends.

My youngest sister is the baby of the family. She's 9 years younger than me and 6 years younger than my middle sister. My mom treated her more like an only child than like the youngest. Physically, she looks very different from my other sister and I. She got my dad's blue eyes (only one) and his height- so she towers over us. But, she is beyond lazy. I don't get along with her very well because of our personality differences. I honestly find her really boring and her life choices just make me mad.

She didn't go to college, she works at Disneyland making minimum wage. She doesn't care about her health or the health of her finances. All of her friends are total losers. She shares a 1-bedroom apartment with 2-5 other people- depending on sleeping arrangements. It boggles my mind how she is OK with this! But, it's her life and if she wants to improve it, she has to do that.

blabla89 · June 2014

My younger brother and I are so different. He's a free spirit whereas I'm much more cautious and predictable. We were raised completely differently, so it's not surprising. After our dad moved out he didn't get any discipline, and my mom gave him pretty much everything he wanted. As a result he's gone through life believing that the rules don't apply to him and expecting everyone to accommodate him, whereas I learned to play by the rules and work for what I want. He's still in the stage of life where our family is pretty accommodating (plus he has a nice chunk of money from my mom's estate, so he gets to travel a lot and not work very much) but I have a feeling reality is going to hit him hard once he gets out of college.

Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and he can be a cool person sometimes. I'm just a little exasperated with his shenanigans.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

My younger brothers are quiet a bit younger then me (22 and 19) so honestly most of what they do is what I would have done at their ages probably. They aren't biologically my siblings, they're my step-mom's sons, but my dad adopted them, making them my brothers.

My 19 year old brother is...well hard to pin down. On one hand he's kind of a wanderer who shows no real drive or determination in life. He's happy to just do his thing and get by. If he's got money for food and gas, he's a happy boy. He wanted to drop out of high school because he was bored, but settled for on-line high school and on-line community college at the same time. He's already got his associates and will start as a junior in the fall at ASU on-line and is a Starbucks barista now so he's getting his college paid for. While he seems not to care about his future at all, he's very passionate about finishing college. I dunno if he got that from watching me, or if it's just something he wants. Once he's done, he has no idea what he wants to do. He might make coffee for the rest of his life. And he'd probably be totally happy doing that. So long as no one made he work a morning shift. He doesn't do mornings.

My 22 year old brother is way more driven. He knows what he wants and he's going to get it. He got his associates, but didn't want to go to a four year university so he started working at a PR firm, somehow he talked his way up from receptionist to now being in charge of digital media marketing. I have no idea how he did this. His associates is in music business. I swear he could convince a starving man to go on a diet. I just keep watching out for signs of starting a cult. Because he's got that whole charismatic leader thing going.

One thing I don't get about either of them, they both still live at home with my step-mom and dad. I mean, step-mom and dad are great people, really very lovely. But I couldn't wait to move out on my own. I technically graduated high school in the fall (walked in the spring), so when I was 17 I was in community college and decided I wanted to go live with a bunch of friends. It was a few months before my 18th birthday but my mom went with it (she's cool like that). I was so excited to be on my own. My brothers...not so much. They've talked about getting a place together recently, but haven't made any decisions. My 22 year old brother pays rent and the 19 year old pays for a lot of his own bills (cell phone, car insurance, ect), so I don't think it's because it's easier. I think they just like it.

I think I spend more time thinking about how different they are from each other. They grew up together with the same parents, but are so different.

FI and FSIL are very different. But that is because FI is 28 and FSIL is 7.

ETA: Both my brothers are taller then me. 19 year old is 5'9, 22 year old...6'3!!! He's in charge of all the high stuff at every family event ever. He's taller then all of us!!!

clarke10 · June 2014

As far as personality goes, my brother and I are very similar. The biggest difference, similar to what others have mentioned, is that I'm super reliable and organized, always on time. My brother never answers his text messages and is late to everything.

jenna8984 · June 2014

MagicInk said:

My 22 year old brother is way more driven. He knows what he wants and he's going to get it. He got his associates, but didn't want to go to a four year university so he started working at a PR firm, somehow he talked his way up from receptionist to now being in charge of digital media marketing. I have no idea how he did this. His associates is in music business. I swear he could convince a starving man to go on a diet. I just keep watching out for signs of starting a cult. Because he's got that whole charismatic leader thing going.

omg same with my brother! He's a car salesman and he is one hell of a salesman. He has dabbled in furniture sales, mattress sales, car sales. He can charm the pants off anyone. We laugh because when he was 9 he got in trouble on the schoolbus for selling acorns for kid's lunch money. He told them it was a special kind that they didn't have in their yards. And I'm the opposite- I couldn't sell you on your own shirt you're wearing.

wandajune6 · June 2014

I'm an identical twin. When we were growing up, we were very similar. We had similar tastes in clothes, friends, etc. We both applied to small, private liberal arts colleges, wanted the same major, etc. Then, at the last minute, I got scared and ended up at a Big 10 school- though I kept the same major.

That's when we changed. My sister went from dorms then moved back home. Her first time living outside of the home/dorms was when we bought a 2-flat together. She had a roommate to begin and had a boyfriend (now husband) move in when she left. She's never left our home city, lived on her own, or made any "crazy" decisions. She works a job that she doesn't like in order to pay the bills, has a husband, a toddler, and still lives in the 2-flat (a huge source of contention, btw). My sister talks about taking classes, changes jobs/industries, having more kids, moving, helping with anything, etc.- but always has endless reasons why she can't do anything. As my aunt/officiant once said, for my sister, getting married was her big life success.

I went to the big university, have lived in 5 cities, quit an amazing career to move for a competitive full-time grad program, and have lived with multiple people while searching for that person I wanted to live with forever. I'm very career focused and, while I want a kid, I wanted to wait until my career was established. I'm the responsible daughter who helps my family and FI's family, I take care of my grandmother for my parents, and just gets shit done. My mom's the oldest of her generation of cousins and the person that everyone goes to with drama/issues/etc. I'm the oldest of my generation (by a full minute!) and (according to aunts and cousins) have taken on the same role, something I'm very proud of, though I'm probably a fool for taking it on!

My sister feels responsibility for her husband and daughter but not towards the rest of the family. However, she is comfortable leaning on the entire family for everything. I'm much more independent but feel responsible to my family and behave accordingly. I love my life but her life is much easier and much less stressful.

Chipmunk415 · June 2014

My older sibs are half sibs. My sister can be elitist, snobby and must always condescend.

She actually tried arguing with me over whether a particular type of illegal activity is still ongoing in the health industry- shes a doctor in a small city in CA next to a wealthy coastal area, and im an atttorney who civilly litigates/prosecutes the very activity she claims no longer happens. Its unreal.

I always write thank you notes, she never does and unfortunately my nieces are picking up that bad behavior.

Brother and I have different lives, but get along ok. He did have a honeymoon registry. Gag.

Mom and her brother are very different. He's also got the anti thank you note bug and has given it to his daughter. Hes also a nitpicking must always be right pain. They live on opposite ends of the country for a reason

gladyscf · June 2014

My sister is 9 years older than I am and we're pretty different.

I'm more matter-of-fact and she's more concerned with making sure she never says anything to hurt someone's feelings even if she has to lie to them.

We also parent very differently. I parent like mom did. I'm very blunt and to the point and raised my kids to understand that actions have consequences. She on the other hand will do absolutely anything so that her kids don't experience any discomfort. Actually, she's only like that with her son who is younger. She was pretty strict with her daughter.

It doesn't surprise me that I work in the legal field and she's a nurse.

VulgarGirl · June 2014

jenna8984 said:

MagicInk said:

My 22 year old brother is way more driven. He knows what he wants and he's going to get it. He got his associates, but didn't want to go to a four year university so he started working at a PR firm, somehow he talked his way up from receptionist to now being in charge of digital media marketing. I have no idea how he did this. His associates is in music business. I swear he could convince a starving man to go on a diet. I just keep watching out for signs of starting a cult. Because he's got that whole charismatic leader thing going.

omg same with my brother! He's a car salesman and he is one hell of a salesman. He has dabbled in furniture sales, mattress sales, car sales. He can charm the pants off anyone. We laugh because when he was 9 he got in trouble on the schoolbus for selling acorns for kid's lunch money. He told them it was a special kind that they didn't have in their yards. And I'm the opposite- I couldn't sell you on your own shirt you're wearing.

We can never introduce them. They will start a cult together. My brother was one who always charmed his way out of trouble in school. I was always the loud mouth in trouble in school.

I'm ok at sales, but it's mostly just because I'm outgoing and will go talk to people. I can read people pretty well too, but it has to be something I believe in or can get behind.

doeydo · June 2014

My oldest sister is very outgoing, loves board games, and is very outdoorsy.

My other older sister is more argumentative, only nice to people she likes and strangers, and very good at art.

I'm shy, love movies, love board games, and polite to most but I avoid calling people or seeing them if I don't want to.

We're all different, I guess, the middle sister being the most different. We all have the same values and political views, I think, though. We're all non-religious, accepting of different races/religions/sexual orientations/etc.

redwoodoriginal · June 2014

mrsstatic2b said:

My sister is 9 years older than I am and we're pretty different.

I'm more matter-of-fact and she's more concerned with making sure she never says anything to hurt someone's feelings even if she has to lie to them.

We also parent very differently. I parent like mom did. I'm very blunt and to the point and raised my kids to understand that actions have consequences. She on the other hand will do absolutely anything so that her kids don't experience any discomfort. Actually, she's only like that with her son who is younger. She was pretty strict with her daughter.

It doesn't surprise me that I work in the legal field and she's a nurse.

What exactly do you mean by that comment? I wouldn't start throwing generalizations around about careers based on one person you know & her career choice. I'm a nurse and by far the more responsible, mature, & firm believer in the actions have consequences game than my sister is, who studied political science & is rather flighty, irresponsible,expects things to just work out her way, & immature for being the older one of the two of us.

gladyscf · June 2014

xoadri said:

mrsstatic2b said:

My sister is 9 years older than I am and we're pretty different.

I'm more matter-of-fact and she's more concerned with making sure she never says anything to hurt someone's feelings even if she has to lie to them.

We also parent very differently. I parent like mom did. I'm very blunt and to the point and raised my kids to understand that actions have consequences. She on the other hand will do absolutely anything so that her kids don't experience any discomfort. Actually, she's only like that with her son who is younger. She was pretty strict with her daughter.

It doesn't surprise me that I work in the legal field and she's a nurse.

What exactly do you mean by that comment? I wouldn't start throwing generalizations around about careers based on one person you know & her career choice. I'm a nurse and by far the more responsible, mature, & firm believer in the actions have consequences game than my sister is, who studied political science & is rather flighty, irresponsible,expects things to just work out her way, & immature for being the older one of the two of us.

Just that she appears to be more compassionate than I do. That is all. Not to say that those in the legal profession aren't.

I probably can't win with this.

redwoodoriginal · June 2014

mrsstatic2b said:

xoadri said:

mrsstatic2b said:

My sister is 9 years older than I am and we're pretty different.

I'm more matter-of-fact and she's more concerned with making sure she never says anything to hurt someone's feelings even if she has to lie to them.

We also parent very differently. I parent like mom did. I'm very blunt and to the point and raised my kids to understand that actions have consequences. She on the other hand will do absolutely anything so that her kids don't experience any discomfort. Actually, she's only like that with her son who is younger. She was pretty strict with her daughter.

It doesn't surprise me that I work in the legal field and she's a nurse.

What exactly do you mean by that comment? I wouldn't start throwing generalizations around about careers based on one person you know & her career choice. I'm a nurse and by far the more responsible, mature, & firm believer in the actions have consequences game than my sister is, who studied political science & is rather flighty, irresponsible,expects things to just work out her way, & immature for being the older one of the two of us.

Just that she appears to be more compassionate than I do. That is all. Not to say that those in the legal profession aren't.

I probably can't win with this.

Ah. LOL. Well I certainly have more compassion than my sister bc she appears to be very self involved and rather selfish and puts her needs above everyone else's. So maybe you have a point with that. Compassion is needed to be a nurse (too bad many of my coworkers seem to have forgotten that..smdh) ETA: not that you are like my sister! Just saying her & I are very different. so your comment about why your sister is a nurse makes sense now.

hikebikebemerry · June 2014

My sister was labeled the "smart one" and she is very bright. However, she lacks a certain level of empathy and emotional intelligence. I am not as "book smart", but I can read people really well. It makes sense that she went into policy writing and I'm going into healthcare.

We look alike, and sound alike- we are 22 months apart and people ask if we're twins. We've had our differences over the years, but we're incredibly close and get along very well.

buttercup1958 · June 2014

My brother and I use to be kinda similar. We are completely opposites now. He is religious and I'm not. He likes being "southern" and going to country bars/concerts. We grew up in a suburb in virginia beach so I'm not sure how that happened. I would love to travel, he is happy to stay in the United States. He is leans more on the republican side, I'm more liberal. I love science, he doesn't care about science at all. He is in a frat and he calls me a "hipster". He is tan and I'm pale. He loves sports and I only like football. He is outgoing, can be self centered, and overall a 21 guy. He invited 140 people on facebook to his birthday and didn't bother to invite me. I love reading, he only reads about sports. I love theatre and he doesn't care about that either. He thinks he is better than me, he has told me that countless times. I'm not sure how we became so different.

l9i · June 2014

Most people are shocked once they realize that my brother and I are siblings. We we raised in the same house only three years apart and people seriously don't know we are siblings because we are so vastly different. We don't look alike or act anything alike and the downside is that we were never close. I will never understand how it happened...

jdluvr06 · June 2014

My sister and I are pretty similar in a lot of areas. The biggest difference is that she has always been pretty straight laced and I have a wild streak. I'm also more outgoing than she is. She is a bit shy. She has always had her life pretty together though and knew exactly what she wanted and I've been a hot mess. So I admire that about her.

Senecaf · June 2014

My brother and I are pretty different. Our beliefs and political leanings are the same though.

Since we were young I have been more cautious and boring. I hate that about myself but it has made me more "sucessful" I have lived a pretty typical life. 4 year degree, house, car kids and marriage (not all in typical order)

He is outgoing, charismatic and fun loving. He is pretty self centerd though. He has lofty goals with no path to completion. He dropped out of HS and got a GED because he was bored. And has since worked miscellaneous jobs and partied. He is now 24 and starting to settle down. He still acts like hanging out with family is a hassle. But I think that is partially because he feels everyone is disappointed in him.

We kind of look alike. You can tell we are related even though our features are quite different. (why did he get the blue eyes and not me!)

cupcait927 · June 2014

l9i said:

Most people are shocked once they realize that my brother and I are siblings. We we raised in the same house only three years apart and people seriously don't know we are siblings because we are so vastly different. We don't look alike or act anything alike and the downside is that we were never close. I will never understand how it happened...

People react the same when they find out that my sister and I are related. She was always the social butterfly and more popular than me in high school, so she knew more people. Whenever I meet someone that I know knows who she is, I'll mention that I'm her sister and I'm always met with a shocked reaction. It's not possible for us to be more different from each other than we already are. And we had the same childhood, same experiences, and we're only 20 months apart (I'm older).

CMGragain · June 2014

My sister and I are very different. People are amazed we are related.

Sister is athletic, outdoors, loves fashion, rationalizes problems, is very social, impulsive, shopping is recreation.
I am a bookworm, creative, research before making decisions, conservative (not politically), confront problems, love museums and travel, HATE shoe shopping.

We seldom had conflicts as children because I wasn't interested in her dolls, and she wasn't interested in my books. She has had problems with jealousy, though.

NYCBruin · June 2014

I think me and my brother are very different, but am aware to an "outsider" we could essentially be the same person. We have similar interests, tastes and thoughts on most things related to politics and religion but they manifest in slightly different ways. For example, we are both good salespeople comparatively, but he is MUCH better at it than I am (to the point that I forget that I'm actually good at it when I'm around him) and we are both good in debates, but I sweep the floor with him when we go head to head.

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