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NWR S/O: Touchy-feeliness

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Re: NWR S/O: Touchy-feeliness

  • I'm not touchy feely at all. I'm only okay with touching if I make the decision to allow it to happen, so massages, shampoos, and even just intimate time with my DH. He knows that it makes me super uncomfortable to just walk up to me and hug me It's strange but I have very strong boundaries. 

     







  • edited June 2014
    larrygaga said:

    I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

     

    That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

    I have strangers touch my hair a lot. It's red, so it attracts people's eyes. I think that's what it is, anyway? I don't usually mind for certian people. Children and cute little old ladies get a pass. Men my age or creepy people I push off me. LOL
    One morning freshman year, when I lived in the dorms with a roommate I didn't know, I woke up to one of her male friends stroking my hair. That's right. I was in bed, in pajamas, SLEEPING, and this fool thought it was ok to touch me. (And my idiot roommate thought it was ok to have friends over while I was asleep in our 9x10' dorm room.) I freaked the hell out. He said "you have such smooth hair, is it real?" 

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.
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    Really, what in the actual fuck.  I'm shuddering just from reading that.  
    Right?! This guy and my roommate happened to be black, and I honestly don't know if he maybe hadn't been that up close and personal with 'smoother' hair before, or was used to girls having extensions??? (I'm sorry if this is coming off incredibly not-PC, I really don't intend to be. It's just the only way I can wrap my brain around why he would ask if it was real. It was so strange.)

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  • larrygaga said:

    I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

     

    That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

    I have strangers touch my hair a lot. It's red, so it attracts people's eyes. I think that's what it is, anyway? I don't usually mind for certian people. Children and cute little old ladies get a pass. Men my age or creepy people I push off me. LOL
    One morning freshman year, when I lived in the dorms with a roommate I didn't know, I woke up to one of her male friends stroking my hair. That's right. I was in bed, in pajamas, SLEEPING, and this fool thought it was ok to touch me. (And my idiot roommate thought it was ok to have friends over while I was asleep in our 9x10' dorm room.) I freaked the hell out. He said "you have such smooth hair, is it real?" 

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.
    image

    Really, what in the actual fuck.  I'm shuddering just from reading that.  
    Right?! This guy and my roommate happened to be black, and I honestly don't know if he maybe hadn't been that up close and personal with 'smoother' hair before, or was used to girls having extensions??? (I'm sorry if this is coming off incredibly not-PC, I really don't intend to be. It's just the only way I can wrap my brain around why he would ask if it was real. It was so strange.)
    Well, doing it while you are SLEEPING is crazy pants no matter what!!!!!!

    But I actually got a lot of this when I taught high school in Newark.  Kids would come up and touch my hair, ask if it was real, etc.  But they were freshmen in high school, not college.  I'd think you would figure out personal boundaries by then!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I'm pretty used to my little friends at school petting my shoes, tights, bare legs and try to gently brush them off or move out of range, but a couple of  years ago a little girl was literally nuzzling my leg with her face and I had to shut that down right away...

    I had my first pedicure a few weeks ago. I didn't mind her touching my feet, but I am very ticklish. I thought I was doing such a good job at hiding it until she said, "Ticklish, eh?" Dang it! I guess she noticed my constant flinching. :)

  • I love massages, getting my nails done, adjustments by trainers but if I am not paying you and its not part of your job, I do not want to be touched.  I am not touchy-feely at all.  I am not even that touchy feely with my FI although I am 100x more touchy feely with him than with anyone else.  

    I hate it when acquaintances want to hug and its pretty obvious.  My FI calls me the porcupine because he says he can see my quills go up when someone approaches for the hug. I will hug a friend the first time I see them after a long time but every time i see them? no. And I have this thing where I hate to be touched softly, it almost hurts me.  I need pressure behind contact.  
  • Part of the hair washing is actually because wet cuts are usually more accurate and even and straight. Every stylist I've ever had STYLE my hair, though, rather than cut it (like, for proms) has said to wash it the night before, not day of, because slightly dirty hair styles better.

    I can handle shampooing. Cannot handle anything more. Don't like manicures, don't like pedicures, wouldn't get my eyebrows done if I had normal-person eyebrows instead of wolf-caterpillar ones (takes too damn long to do them myself), never wanted a massage... BUT we're touchy people in my family, and FI and I are usually pretty much touching all the time unless we're sitting at a table or something. So... no to the professionals. Yes to the people I know/love. Also yes to all fuzzy friends. I will pretty much walk up to anyone's cat and/or dog and get all up IN their face. After confirming that I won't LOSE my face for my trouble, of course...
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  • Martial arts since very young. Swimming and cross country starting from middle school, add soccer in high school. Roller derby.

    What's this personal space you speak of?
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