I am newly engaged and my future husband and I have decided on 3 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids.
I have 2 bridesmaids chosen: Sheila (best friend since 7th grade), Elizabeth (college roommate for 2 years, still regularly see each other)....and I'm truly struggling over the 3rd. I have 2 people I'm struggling to choose between...
Kate: I was in her wedding in April 2012, just a little over a year ago. We lived together for 3 years (and the two of us lived with Elizabeth for 2), she visited me in the hospital when I was ill years ago...but since graduating college, we've drifted. She lives an hour away, neither of us have made too much effort to stay in touch-- I'll try to text or facebook message her but she never responds (admittedly, I could call). Also when she met my boyfriend, he didn't particularly care for her and she liked him but thought he was a "bro."
Sarah: We weren't as close in college but have kept in touch much better than Kate and I, we have a lot more in common...and she was one of the people I immediately called to tell after getting engaged. I feel bad but I didn't think to call Kate. Sarah would probably be more involved in dancing and socializing on the actual day of the wedding, but she lives far enough away that she may not be able to attend the shower or bachelorette party also (but I'm having a small wedding and don't want a big fuss regardless!)
Problem is, Kate is probably expecting to be asked... Sometime before I got engaged (months ago, now), she made a joke about having to wear turquoise to my wedding.
I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I've only seen Kate twice in the last year and that's why I'm really leaning toward Sarah. However, everytime I think about hurting Kate's feelings I get incredibly stressed out and my stomach feels like it's in knots. Having to tell Kate she isn't in my wedding is not a conversation I want to have (do I have to have it at all?), but I think I'm leaning toward Sarah. What would you do?