UO/II/Complaints/Whateva

lmcooper86 · July 2014

GoldenPenguin said:

Confession: I hate that FI is having to be responsible for paying for deposits and stuff because I have shitty financial habits, no credit cards, no savings, and awful credit. He doesn't care and says it's "ours" so I don't need to worry about it, but it still makes me feel bad.

II: I give myself a headache sometimes here with the amount of eyerolling I do at some of the newbs. I try to remember that I was probably an annoying newb back in the day too, and that we should probably we welcoming to new members, but I sometimes wish it was the good old days.

Confession: I have the same confession about looking for a condo/house with FI. He says he doesn't care that I can't help towards a down payment, and the money is "ours" now, and I'll be paying part of the mortgage instead of paying rent like I am now, but I feel like such a failure because I have some debt and bad credit. I just feel like I can't pull my weight with this housing thing because I'm just getting by; my expenses are equal to my income and I can't save, no matter what I try to do. It makes me feel so fucking bad about myself, like I'm failing at adultness.

Confession/Irrational thought: I still think of myself as a newb but I really don't know. I always worry that I am annoying you peeps. If this is the case please tell me

ETA a Complaint: I also feel like because I can't contribute to the down payment I can't have as much of a say in where we're going to live. FI keeps sending me listings that are far from my work, like an hour on the subway, fully knowing that when the subway is crowded during rush hour I get anxious and am always super cranky when I get out. I am worried that I'm going to have to agree to living somewhere that is way further than I want and it makes me want to cry. I know this is a major first world problem and I probably sound like a brat, but I sort of don't care today. Ugh.

GoldenPenguin · July 2014

@justbeingme93 - I like you even more, because you used a Barney Stinson gif.

@lmcooper86 - you're not annoying. You'll know if I don't like you

Also, I am the SAME way with savings. I have more bills than FI (his car is paid off, he has far less student loans, etc), but he makes significantly more, so he pays all the utilities. I think I've just been so used to scraping by on my own for so long, that it's hard for me to 1. accept that he is willing to do these things and 2. accept that I have someone who is willing to do these things for me.

GoldenPenguin · July 2014

@TwoDimes - I knew I liked you.

Also, I love your first gif because FI looks like Jason Sudekis.

phira · July 2014

@GoldenPenguin

Confession: After J and I first met, we had sex at least twice every time we saw each other. It was more sex (and longer-lasting sex) than I'd ever had before, and I ended up getting a UTI. Antibiotics for the UTI led to me having my UC flare up, which is something that actually fucks with my ladybits. By the time my UC was gone, my virginity kind of grew back, and "regular" sex was too painful. Basically, for over 2 years, our sex life was fine, but rarely involved any "regular" sex because I physically couldn't do it most of the time. So every time there was any discussion anywhere (here, WeddingWire, discussions with friends or acquaintances) about how regularly people were having sex, I was really embarrassed. At my cousin's bachelorette party, people were playing Kings and one of the questions was, "When was the last time you had sex?" I'm relieved I wasn't playing because I was so ashamed that I was engaged and living with my partner, but I hadn't had "regular" sex in six months. I mean, I could have lied had I been playing (and I would have just interpreted sex as "getting each other off and having a grand ol' time," in which case I'd had sex a couple days before), but I still felt crappy about it.

bethsmiles · July 2014

@Phira - I love that you used the phrase "having a grand ol' time" Also, I feel like whatever it is you and your partner do to be intimate with each other is your business and nothing to be embarrassed about! As long as you're happy with your sex life, no else should judge. Everyone has different needs/wants.

GoldenPenguin · July 2014

TwoDimes said:

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GoldenPenguin said:

@TwoDimes - I knew I liked you.

Also, I love your first gif because FI looks like Jason Sudekis.

Oh, the irony. I just went back to first time I posted a "stir-the-pot" thread, and I named YOU as my least fav. BAHAHAHA. Only because of your evil plan. And we all know evil is... awesome.

YOU DID!?!? DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?! HAVE I REDEEMED MYSELF!??! I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THIS.

cu97tiger · July 2014

loves2shop4shoes said:

I have another confession. I don't get the FYI channel at home, so I went through great pains to discover that Married at First Sight is viewable for free on Hulu. I then forced DH to watch the entire episode with me on Hulu.

And it was so entertaining that I am planning to watch the entire season on Hulu.

Hangs head in shame.

YES @loves2shop4shoes! I was wondering if I could get that on roku and you have now just solved my problem. I will DEFINITELY be catching up on that show!

My II is with myself... why did I eat an entire quesadilla that was CLEARLY the size of two full meals? Now I feel poopy.

My confession: I have so many days over the next few weeks where DH is going to need to pick up the slack for me. Dinners with out-of-town work colleagues, dinner with an old MBA friend, training runs. The poor guy. I tried to warn him, but I don't think he really knows what these next few weeks will be like. I feel guilty as hell.

eilis1228 · July 2014

Confession-- Now that FI is backtracking on this ring thing, I'm getting more and more upset. I've had my heart set on that particular ring for a while, and now I'm headed into brat mode where I just want to throw a hissy fit and pout in the corner. I need to get off the internet for a while, stop looking at rings, stop talking to FI, and just focus on work. Otherwise, I have a feeling my night will end very poorly.

lmcooper86 · July 2014

GoldenPenguin said:

Also, I am the SAME way with savings. I have more bills than FI (his car is paid off, he has far less student loans, etc), but he makes significantly more, so he pays all the utilities. I think I've just been so used to scraping by on my own for so long, that it's hard for me to 1. accept that he is willing to do these things and 2. accept that I have someone who is willing to do these things for me.

YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP, especially #2; I wonder how I deserve him; I just want to yell at him for being awesome sometimes lol I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to try and be awesome in other areas of our relationship because I know I can't make the same financial contributions that he can

@phira - I would have been in the same boat as you...FI and I have agreed that we won't have sex until we get married. Lol I dare you to ask me how happy my lady parts are about that decision!

bethsmiles · July 2014

@weewittlewizabeth - Update me please? What is your FI backtracking on?

phira · July 2014

@lmcooper86 My problem is/was* that it hurt way too much for me to be able to have sex. Often, it was physically possible but it was painful enough that it wasn't enjoyable for me (and therefore not enjoyable for him), and other times, it was entirely impossible. Like NO ENTRY NICE TRY LOL FUCK OFF. So some ladybits were totally 100% fine with no sex. And the ones that weren't, well ... like I said, it's not like we weren't having other kinds of sex.

@bethsmiles It's been pretty frustrating, especially for me. The problem is that it's entirely unrelated to my actual sex drive and desire. So there were a lot of aborted attempts over the past couple years, since I wanted to have sex pretty badly, and then we'd try, and it sucked. I recently got some help with the problem, though, so ... the past week and a half has been spectacularly awesome. Although now I have to make a conscious effort to avoid UTIs again.

GoldenPenguin · July 2014

@twodimes - I get yelly when I'm excited/nervous/ferklempt. And I was very ferklempt that you might not like me!

eilis1228 · July 2014

@bethsmiles Paying for the custom ring as designed. He got the quote and is suddenly having second thoughts. Asking if I'd be willing to do a plain band instead, or if we could pick out a different setting in general, etc. I'd gotten my heart set on that ring over the course of the last few weeks, and he'd been saying that even if it went over his budget, he'd pay for it. Doesn't seem to be true anymore. I mean, hey, it's just a ring. It's a material object. I get it. The budget is what it is, and I should be a team player and be willing to compromise. But I've been in a terrible mood all day, and this is just the icing on the cake... so yeah, I can tell a bratty hissy fit will occur if I don't chill out and do something else for a while.

labro · July 2014

Confession: FI and I have sex alllll the time. 4 times a week at a minimum. I can't imagine going weeks or months without sex.

Confession: I've been scanning and not responding to all of the newb posts lately and haven't responded to any of them. Some of you seem cool and some of you are definitely BSC but life has been so busy I can't even keep up. Sorry!

Not-irrational irritation: All the pre-planning BSC recently. FI and I were as good as engaged but he hadn't asked me yet and we hadn't stated to each other that we were engaged so I waited until it happened to do ANY sort of actual planning. It really isn't that hard.

UO or II I don't know: Everything @Swazzle said about specific wedding dates. Our wedding date is special because it's our wedding date. I wanted to get married in the fall and October 18th happened to be the date our venue had available so we went with it! I don't get choosing specific days.

KeptInStitches · July 2014

Adding to what I think is now a rational irritation:

RI: Specific wedding dates, especially when they're inconvenient. FI and I wanted to be engaged for about a year. What was available for the venue and minister? April 25th. Special because we're getting married that day. Boom.

Blue & White · July 2014

@LaPeanut1018 I can't tell you how many venues were surprised when they asked what date we wanted and we said "sometime in Mar or Apr 2014" - OUR DATE (which was when the venue was available) was the only Saturday that whole span that wasn't raining and/or 35 degrees out. Score.

Confession: I am basically on medical sex restriction until the middle/end of August (or later...the "end date" is adjustable based on healing). It sucks. And we didn't even have sex a gazillion times a day/week/month. It just sucks being told no, you can't do that.

Totally rational irritation: I'm also medically restricted from pools, bathtubs, and beaches. I WANT TO GO IN THE WATER, DANGIT.

Confession: I watched Married at First Sight and got sucked in. Luckily, I start working again on Saturday and won't watch such horrendous tv anymore.

Vibes Needed: All our house inspections/appraisals/etc are done. I need these to go well because I'm all in love with the house and all.

Confession: I want the house buying to go through before the medical bills come in. Because obviously medical bills are going to F up our savings

loves2shop4shoes · July 2014

A few things to add...

@GoldenPenguin, you were never a BSC newbie. Also, you're a sexy lady. Don't be afraid to be nekkid.

@buddysmom80, My heart hurts for you at the loss of Buddy. And these kittens will never replace him...no matter what. Also, of course your FI will be happy on your wedding day, you silly goose.

@lmcooper86, I don't think of you as a newbie.

Confession: My sex life is either a feast or a famine. We're either doing it 4 times a day or once every 10 days. And when I was on pelvic rest for 6 weeks, I wanted to cry. At one point I told DH, "Stop looking so attractive. I can't have sex with you."

eilis1228 · July 2014

LOL ok well now I feel like a douche. I forgot that FI's grandfather is in the hospital this week for some major surgery (although to be fair, I'm pretty sure FI forgot too). His mom and uncle just called him asking when we were coming down to visit his grandfather, who just had a GIANT black growth of melanoma removed from his neck over the course of 2 surgeries, and now his face is partially paralyzed.

Yep, I suck. Definitely a good reality slap that rings really aren't that big of a deal. Time to pull my head out of my ass.

Blue & White · July 2014

@loves2shop4shoes right?! being told you can't have sex is AWFUL. Luckily we're distracted by house buying or something, lol

lavenderfields13 · July 2014

II: When moms take their little kids to get a mani/pedi..like all the time. A 7 year old doesn't need that shit. I got my first real manicure as part of my birthday present when I was 16. I asked my mom why she went all the time and I couldn't. Her answer? Because she has a job and can pay to pamper herself. Makes sense. So get your kids out of the spa.

II 2: When you're trying to poop in a public bathroom and someone else comes in..sits down..and is clearly also trying to poop. I was here first, go find another bathroom. So rude.

Confession: FI and I sometimes only have sex about twice a month. We don't really see each other awake much though and I'm usually tired. And my sex drive is just not what is was at 17-20. It makes me sad. Like really sad.

luckya23 · July 2014

eilis1228 said:

@bethsmiles Paying for the custom ring as designed. He got the quote and is suddenly having second thoughts. Asking if I'd be willing to do a plain band instead, or if we could pick out a different setting in general, etc. I'd gotten my heart set on that ring over the course of the last few weeks, and he'd been saying that even if it went over his budget, he'd pay for it. Doesn't seem to be true anymore. I mean, hey, it's just a ring. It's a material object. I get it. The budget is what it is, and I should be a team player and be willing to compromise. But I've been in a terrible mood all day, and this is just the icing on the cake... so yeah, I can tell a bratty hissy fit will occur if I don't chill out and do something else for a while.

Have you priced pre-made settings?

Almost every one I looked at was in the $1800-2500 range, so it's not unheard of.

The couple places I asked about custom making a ring didn't charge for the wax model, though.

luckya23 · July 2014

phira said:

@keptinstitches Sorry! Meant the prospective dress thread. I either missed it entirely or don't remember what happened.

I recommended she look at BM dresses since most dress shops don't have a huge selection in shorter dresses.

KeptInStitches · July 2014

Complaint: OH MY GOD THERE ARE ANTS IN THE KITCHEN IN THE CUPBOARD WITH ALL THE CHOCOLATE.

[/end complaint]

labro · July 2014

Confession: My dog just went on a murderous rampage in our backyard and killed an innocent baby bunny.

luckya23 · July 2014

TwoDimes said:

show previous quotes

Kelani23 said:

phira said:

@keptinstitches Sorry! Meant the prospective dress thread. I either missed it entirely or don't remember what happened.

I recommended she look at BM dresses since most dress shops don't have a huge selection in shorter dresses.

....that wasn't the issue AT ALL. This is my beef with you: you continue to miss the point.

No one cared that you suggested bridesmaid dresses. It was that you said the dresses she liked weren't "bridal." That comes across as pretty insulting to a BRIDE looking for BRIDAL dresses.

But that is not what I meant. As I explained at the time.

I'm glad I can't keep track of all the insults I have taken here!

luckya23 · July 2014

It's quite amazing how everything I say gets twisted, and I apologize for the confusion, but for some reason it's fine to just attack me? Most of the time out of the blue, even. The hypocrisy is astounding.

phira · July 2014

@Kelani23 You might want to consider that if everything you're saying is irritating or upsetting people, the problem is what you're saying, and not that people are twisting your words.

luckya23 · July 2014

I have considered that, and I apologize when I'm called out, but why can't we MOVE ON?

luckya23 · July 2014

Just the fact that I am around seems to be "irritating" part. Pretty sure they have an ignore feature if someone feels that strongly.

luckya23 · July 2014

Example?

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