Fifty Shades of Grey

SmileDamnit · July 2014

Painful. And not in a good way. I couldn't even get through the first one.

LadyMillil · July 2014

Read them to see what all the fuss was about. They were fine as a mindless read. I tried re-reading them and I just can't. How does anybody think that Christian Grey is romantic? He is controlling and manipulative and if DH ever tried any of the stuff Christian pulled in the books, I'd be out the door. Ana isn't any better, taking everything he dishes out because he has the sexy time with her, and she can fix him with her love. And how many times does she say "I flush" in these books? There are 3 good things about Christian - he's hot, he's rich, and he makes sure she finishes first. Not worth the crap he pulls all the time.

PP mentioned awhile ago that maybe the vernacular is appropriate for Washington or Canada. I'm in Canada, just north of Washington now and we definitely don't talk like that here.

AlexaF2014 · July 2014

Okay, no shame moment: I read these back when they were called "Master of the Universe" and free on FF dot net. Please, hold your stones! I was young and foolish and just been introduced to online sexy things! I never read them as the new books (I mean, besides the names, did anything change? Could I have done a "Find->Replace" and made these books?) so IDK what's different, or what changed or whatever... i liked them when i read them (again, first introduction to online sexy things), but at the same time it wasn't a great literary masterpiece. Maybe it was the anticipation of waiting for the weekly chapter? Regardless, yeah, I enjoyed it when I read it, but it was also a bit escapist: I didn't actually WANT a BDSM relationship, but it was fun to read about (what claims to be) one. I'm preempting that TK is going to eat my paragraphs. just a hunch.

mrsmorales2be · July 2014

I have never, ever had a desire to read these books, and will not watch the movies. Zero interest. My best friend and a cousin of mine are totally into them, but I just don't get it. Even if the writing wasn't atrocious, I'd still be completely uninterested.

ride0rdie · July 2014

I loved the books. But I did laugh at how cheesy some lines were. It made me want to to try new things in the bedroom. I can't wait for the movie but I am worried they won't live up to the books.

VulgarGirl · July 2014

BDSM is not about taking control from your partner. It is about your partner trusting you enough to willing give up that control. Meaning you would not get pissy with them for using their safeword, you would stop right away, check with them, make them comfortable, because they are entrusting their care and safety to you and as a dom, that's kind of what you're into! You would not try to coerce them into flogging if they were scared by it, but you would easy them into the idea by starting gentely. You would patiently wait until they willing gave up their control. Not rip it away from them.

As a sub, it's about being taken care of. Being able to trust this person enough to know they have your best interests in mind. That they are going to care for you. That they will stop when you use your safe word and you can give up control completely to them because of this trust.

BDSM relationships can be very intense, very loving, and very normal.

This bullshit is about a girl without a spine. I'm assuming there might some abuse in her background, from the summaries I've read she's pretty intimated by her own sexuality and seems to think an abusive relationship is just awesome sauce. Christian is asshole abuser who wants someone weaker then him to control to feel powerful, probably because he feels less powerful in his day to day life.

Just because someone gets tied up doesn't make it a BDSM relationship.

doeydo · July 2014

I've read 2 1/2. I kind of got bored, I guess. It wasn't well written at all and then it was kind of predictable. Anywho, I think fans of the books won't like the movie(s) because books use fantasy and imagination, whereas movies are kind of like "here you go, X is having sex with Y" if that makes any sense. As for making it not too sex-y, didn't that movie Nymphomaniac include people being very much naked and actually having intercourse? And Wolf of Wall Street also had a ton of nudity from what I am told (including Leo, apparently).

artbyallie · July 2014

I only 'read' these via Jenny's blog also, and had to agree when she made the point that, if you read it as a story of abuse rather than romance, it's suddenly much better written. The fact that James continues to insist it's not and in fact deletes/blocks any comment from survivors that they identify with it in that way is just horrifying.

mrscaty · July 2014

To whomever said it isn't poorly written twilight fanfic - if you look in the beginning of the books (yes, I've shamefully read them) it says "originally published online under the pen name SnowQueens IcePrincess" or something along those lines (although I'm pretty sure I got the username right). It most definitely was twilight fan fiction.

ETA: spelling is hard

beethery · July 2014

AlexaF2014 said:

Okay, no shame moment: I read these back when they were called "Master of the Universe" and free on FF dot net. Please, hold your stones! I was young and foolish and just been introduced to online sexy things! I never read them as the new books (I mean, besides the names, did anything change? Could I have done a "Find->Replace" and made these books?) so IDK what's different, or what changed or whatever... i liked them when i read them (again, first introduction to online sexy things), but at the same time it wasn't a great literary masterpiece. Maybe it was the anticipation of waiting for the weekly chapter? Regardless, yeah, I enjoyed it when I read it, but it was also a bit escapist: I didn't actually WANT a BDSM relationship, but it was fun to read about (what claims to be) one. I'm preempting that TK is going to eat my paragraphs. just a hunch.

I think she deleted them, and did a F/R for all Edward>Christian Bella/Ana mentions for publishing.

beethery · July 2014

artbyallie said:

I only 'read' these via Jenny's blog also, and had to agree when she made the point that, if you read it as a story of abuse rather than romance, it's suddenly much better written. The fact that James continues to insist it's not and in fact deletes/blocks any comment from survivors that they identify with it in that way is just horrifying.

this this this this this THIS THIS THIS.

BreMR · July 2014

I read the first book, I hated the dialogue, I hated Ana's reference to her 'womanhood' seriously?? I ESPECIALLY hated the acceptance of Christian's obvious abusive behavior. Gross.

lyndausvi · July 2014

I read the first book. Hated every minute if it. It was so painful to read. Especially when she lost her virginity. The way he stalked her. Ugh.

I have no plans on watching the movie.

Kauris · July 2014

Hated it. It was awful. Read the first two, then just couldn't find enough fucks to give to put myself through reading the third.

But my married, soccer, suburban moms LOVED it, they thought they were being so scandalous reading it. I was like shit, go get some real porn. A friend of mine even bought the vagina weight balls. FUCK, seriously??!?!?!

And, I prefer to spend my time reading things that did not begin as Twilight fan fiction. She was a shit writer, she probably still is and I am convinced that someone wrote the second book, because it was marginally less shitty.

wajohnson09 · July 2014

I read all 3 thinking they must get better, they DO NOT!

What bugged me the most- WTF does Christian exactly do? He's supposed to be this insanely rich guy, but all it seems like he does is stalk Ana, fly around in his helicopter, text Ana, e-mail Ana, and drive around with his body guard. I don't remember it actually saying what his job is or what his company does.

Also- he's supposed to be an insanely hot, crazy rich, super in shape, amazing piano playing, genius, sex god. No! This does not happen in real life, no one excels at everything. Reminds me of some perfect guy list written by a middle schooler or something.

Gah! I can't believe these damn books made so much money!

ohannabelle · July 2014

wajohnson09 said:

I read all 3 thinking they must get better, they DO NOT! What bugged me the most- WTF does Christian exactly do? He's supposed to be this insanely rich guy, but all it seems like he does is stalk Ana, fly around in his helicopter, text Ana, e-mail Ana, and drive around with his body guard. I don't remember it actually saying what his job is or what his company does. Also- he's supposed to be an insanely hot, crazy rich, super in shape, amazing piano playing, genius, sex god. No! This does not happen in real life, no one excels at everything. Reminds me of some perfect guy list written by a middle schooler or something. Gah! I can't believe these damn books made so much money!

Kind of like McDonald's has sold something like 250 billion burgers, and it sure doesn't qualify as good food. Sadly, sometimes crap sells. It's beyond me why, but it's true.

MollyandD · July 2014

I listened to the on audio out of curiosity. It got so irritating that I fast forwarded through some of the sex parts. I also looked at some parts online in print, because my English teacher friend warned me that the writing style was worse than the audio book.

Here's my take from the experience:

1.) Ana is beyond pathetic. She lets him walk all over her, but still acts like he's the victim.

2.) The whole book is glorifying a mentally abusive relationship.

3.) Ana bites her lip and says, " Oh, my," enough times to make you want to slap her.

4.) The author uses big words to sound smart... But she uses them incorrectly.

thetimewillcome · July 2014

beethery said:

I refuse to read the books, and instead, I read Jenny Trout's recaps. (click)

I knew from the get-go that the relationship depicted was an unhealthy one, and reading the recaps really breaks it down for you. In particular, if a crazy man breaks into your home after you've gone to a bar with your friend (against your asshole husband's wishes) and your husband says he wants to 'beat the shit out of you' because you weren't home, shit ain't right. I know lots of ladies who have read all of the books and still said, "Oh Christian gets much better as the books go on. I wish SO was like him." I side-eye the shit out of them and have told them flat-out that they are crazy.

Also, the lady that wrote this Twilight fanfiction is from the UK, and apparently that had a pretty good bearing on the vernacular she used in the 50 Shades books.

I want to say thank you. I spent 2 hours reading that blog yesterday and it very nicely fit with my attitude of wasting the day away at work yesterday. The only tough part was not laughing out loud while at work.

beethery · July 2014

@thetimewillcome I'm not into everything Jenny Trout does but those recaps were GOLD.

iloveotters2014 · July 2014

The thing I REALLY don't understand about these books is why people are sooooo into the sex scenes.... Basically he beats her for like 20 minutes and then just wam bam one position bangs her for like 5 seconds. That sounds like the worst sex life ever.

LadyMillil · July 2014

wajohnson09 said:

I read all 3 thinking they must get better, they DO NOT! What bugged me the most- WTF does Christian exactly do? He's supposed to be this insanely rich guy, but all it seems like he does is stalk Ana, fly around in his helicopter, text Ana, e-mail Ana, and drive around with his body guard. I don't remember it actually saying what his job is or what his company does. Also- he's supposed to be an insanely hot, crazy rich, super in shape, amazing piano playing, genius, sex god. No! This does not happen in real life, no one excels at everything. Reminds me of some perfect guy list written by a middle schooler or something. Gah! I can't believe these damn books made so much money!

I believe he buys companies, breaks them up and sells the pieces, a la Richard Gere in Pretty Woman

beethery · July 2014

wajohnson09 said:

I read all 3 thinking they must get better, they DO NOT! What bugged me the most- WTF does Christian exactly do? He's supposed to be this insanely rich guy, but all it seems like he does is stalk Ana, fly around in his helicopter, text Ana, e-mail Ana, and drive around with his body guard. I don't remember it actually saying what his job is or what his company does. Also- he's supposed to be an insanely hot, crazy rich, super in shape, amazing piano playing, genius, sex god. No! This does not happen in real life, no one excels at everything. Reminds me of some perfect guy list written by a middle schooler or something. Gah! I can't believe these damn books made so much money!

@LadyMilil's Richard Gere/Pretty Woman example makes the most sense, but I think his reasoning for buying these companies was probably to control his slave girls, because he's a fucking creep.

theexactlee · July 2014

Ana knew how to use a computer and use a cell phone. She wasn't stupid or anything, he just kept spoiling her with the best of everything. I'm not defending the books or anything because ACK but I did want to point that out lol.

Yeah Jamie Dorman is gonna be Christian. Don't even know him. Don't know her either.

I didn't hate the books but I was able to take them add a grain of salt.

VulgarGirl · July 2014

You know how usually you go see a movie based off of a book and think "Damn the book is so much better", maybe the opposite will be true for 50 Shades. Maybe. I mean...if they hire a screenwriter to re-write the damn thing.

gladyscf · July 2014

I haven't read them but a few friends have and have offered their copies to me. I've declined. I just don't really have that much interest in it. Everyone who I personally know who has read them gush and go over the top about them. I wonder if they do it simply because they think they are supposed to? FWIW...I didn't even fucking bother with paragraphs.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · July 2014

I read all three and honestly, my eyes got stuck in the back of my head a couple of times. But it was like a car crash. I couldn't look away. Ever chapter I was like "What's this asshole gonna do now?" and "Let's see if Ana stops being a damsel tied to the railroad tracks this time! LOLZ."

Points of annoyance:

- Ana's inner goddess. Honestly, STFU about it.

- Ana's hot all the time to everyone and everything. AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW! She's just like us, isn't she?

- Ana's too dumb to figure out birth control.

- Ana is supposed to be super independent woman but yeah that falls apart after three sentences.

- ANA'S SUPER HOT GUYZ

- Christian teaches us girls that being possessive is okay if you're rich and you have a helicopter and a yacht and a personal chef and a penthouse. Small price to pay really, right? (ick)

- "I will claim that ass, Anastasia" And he never did. I was watching for it. Don't think I didn't notice. Dumbest line in the whole book.

- All supporting characters are two dimensional. A few I wanted to know more about but never did.

- Christian is a sociopath.

- And at the end it was all just a silly phase and Christian is a model father and husband and he just stopped being a sociopath.

- Also, he's always "Christian" never "Chris". This bothered me more than it should, considering Ana's name goes back and forth a lot.

LadyMillil · July 2014

goldchocobo said:

- Also, he's always "Christian" never "Chris". This bothered me more than it should, considering Ana's name goes back and forth a lot.

I have a long name with easy nickname. No one has ever called me by the nickname. I have a friend with the same long name. Her parents call her by long name, everyone else calls her by nickname.

But ditto everything else. Especially the inner goddess.

MollyandD · July 2014

Forget the inner goddess. Does she know what the word "subconscious" means?

sub·con·scious səbˈkänSHəs/

adjective 1. of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings.

"my subconscious fear" synonyms: unconscious, latent, suppressed, repressed, subliminal, dormant, underlying, innermost

I'm pretty sure her subconscious isn't glaring at her through spectacles.

MollyandD · July 2014

I'm not getting the option to click the red arrows that usually let me space my paragraphs. Sorry about the previous post.

ETA never mind. It's fixed now.

chibiyui · July 2014

Molly&Domenic said:
Forget the inner goddess. Does she know what the word "subconscious" means?

sub·con·scious
səbˈkänSHəs/
adjective
1.
of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings.
"my subconscious fear"
synonyms: unconscious, latent, suppressed, repressed, subliminal, dormant, underlying, innermost

I'm pretty sure her subconscious isn't glaring at her through spectacles.

Yeah. The glaring was all done by her common sense/survival instinct.

Everything else was her inner stupidity.

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