I hate to make things so heavy on a Monday morning. But I'm so sad and I just can't stop thinking about this.
I found out that a friend of mine passed away unexpectedly on Saturday. Paul was a former co-worker and I had known him for about 12 years. We always kept in touch and would talk about every other week. On the weekend of July 4th, he contacted to me tell me that he and his wife were splitting up. He didn't want to give me that many details but said he would call me to tell me more. I knew that he adored his wife and step daughter and he always told me how incredibly happy he was, so I was really surprised they were splitting up.
I had been trying to find him an apartment. I contacted a few people and had spoken to Paul about it. On Friday, I realized I didn't hear back from him. I texted him asking how he was doing. No reply. I figured he just didn't want to talk. I knew he was upset.
Yesterday, I logged on to Facebook to see a posting under his name, saying he passed away Saturday. Apparently there will be no services at his request. Someone related to his wife commented that he was found on Saturday and that the cause of death was unknown.
He was a pretty healthy guy and took very good care of himself. I guess it's possible he had a heart attack or some other medical emergency while he was sleeping. But I'm terrified that he committed suicide. I knew he was going through a rough time. I should have done more. I feel awful. And I'm completely heartbroken that I will never see or talk to him again. I cried my eyes out last night and I'm just trying to hold it together at work.
Thanks for letting me get that out.