The Mayonnaise Controversy

lc07 · July 2014

So, Mayonnaise Haters: I know you're out there. What's the deal? I hear a ton of people saying how gross Mayonnaise is. Do you also not like eggs? Is it the raw egg? I make my own so I know it's not filled with weird chemicals and GMOs. And mayonnaise is basically egg and oil. What's so gross?

mrsmorales2be · July 2014

For me, it's a texture thing. And somewhat the flavor. Odd, though, because I kind of like Miracle Whip, sometimes. I just prefer mustard.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

I hate mayonnaise so much. With the fury of a thousand burning suns.

I love eggs, hate mayonnaise.

It's... the texture, the color, the jiggliness, the nasty slimy feeling. Blech!

lc07 · July 2014

Ah. Texture. This makes more sense to me. Yes, jarred, store bought mayonnaise does have a funky texture. (I still like it.)

I wonder if you'd like mine. It's not jiggly. It's more of an aioli and smoother like a mustard texture. And you can add flavors.

sweetwisconsin · July 2014

FI hates mayo. He won't come near me if I am eating it. He claims it is the smell and texture of it. What I don't get is he eats ranch dressing...isn't that similar? As a joke his Aunt and Uncle got him one of those huge economy size jugs of mayo (empty), we use it as our change jar.

chibiyui · July 2014

I like mayo as a part of something. Like, yum yum sauce at hibachi. By itself though. Bleh

Not sure why. Probably taste. Works best as a base then alone.

beethery · July 2014

I have a weird relationship with mayo. On a Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger and a chick-fil-a sandwich, yes. Whole packet of regular mayo on both. Anything else? FUCK NO.

Except parmesan crusted chicken. Then it's just a cooking ingredient and somehow that makes it different.

lc07 · July 2014

I hope I don't make any of you dry heave when I say I'm currently dipping egg rolls in it.

Yes, I am home alone eating egg rolls and mayonnaise on a Saturday night.

lc07 · July 2014

Also, to make this one of the most random threads of all time: does anyone want a $20 credit code for Shutterfly? I will never make a book and I got a one-time use coupon code for buying a bridesmaid dress at David's Bridal yesterday. Must be used by Dec 23, 2014.

ETA: You must love mayonnaise. Kidding. Whomever says me first can have it.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

*dry heaving*

Mayonnaise is one of those things that just squicks me out. I hate even being near it or having it in my fridge (Fi likes it). I also can't stand ketchup or ranch dressing.

Sometimes it's okay as an ingredient in something else. If there's a little bit of it in some dip, I don't really mind. But straight mayonnaise on a sandwich? dvljbaljfha;iehg;ajdv/ bleeecccchhhhh

Sorry, I'll put on my big girl pants now. I would never actually say this if we were eating together. But I'd be thinking it.

lc07 · July 2014

JCbride2015 said:

*dry heaving*

Mayonnaise is one of those things that just squicks me out. I hate even being near it or having it in my fridge (Fi likes it). I also can't stand ketchup or ranch dressing.

Sometimes it's okay as an ingredient in something else. If there's a little bit of it in some dip, I don't really mind. But straight mayonnaise on a sandwich? dvljbaljfha;iehg;ajdv/ bleeecccchhhhh

Sorry, I'll put on my big girl pants now. I would never actually say this if we were eating together. But I'd be thinking it.

No worries, I love it. It's fascinating to me. The Mayo Controversy.

beethery · July 2014

lc07 said:

I hope I don't make any of you dry heave when I say I'm currently dipping egg rolls in it.

Yes, I am home alone eating egg rolls and mayonnaise on a Saturday night.

Baby, that heave wasn't dry. omfgjnfsgljbfkgjbkgroooooossss

ohannabelle · July 2014

It's eggy. And smells of eggs. And eggs ( don't read this if you're still eating) smell exactly like snot. Like when little kids have terrible colds, and you can smell it. So awful. I can't really even look at an egg, unless it's mixed into a cake or cookies. Smells like snot, looks like snot. Some people use too much egg in cakes, and it ruins them. Eggy flavor. Even the name egg is gross. It sounds like it's being said with a plugged snotty nose. Egg. Horrible jiggly word.

So no. It's just all too eggy.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

This is just another way JC and beethery are my soulmates.

Mayo = horrrrkkkkk. It's like spum on a sandwich. Barf. I can only tolerate it in things like my mom's potato salad IN VERY LOW DOSES, as a cooking ingredient like in my grilled parmesan potatoes, or on a jr. bacon cheeseburger or McChicken which I only eat when I'm shitfaced.

Now a good garlic aioli is another story. Or caper. Mmmmm caper.

lc07 · July 2014

It's all good. I'm technically eating aioli. I haven't had jarred mayo in years. But now that I think about it, texturally and flavor wise they are pretty different.

And @beethery now we're even because other people gagging/puking sets me off. It's an awesomely gag inducing gif for me.

More wine.

beethery · July 2014

ohannabelle said:

It's eggy. And smells of eggs. And eggs ( don't read this if you're still eating) smell exactly like snot. Like when little kids have terrible colds, and you can smell it. So awful. I can't really even look at an egg, unless it's mixed into a cake or cookies. Smells like snot, looks like snot. Some people use too much egg in cakes, and it ruins them. Eggy flavor. Even the name egg is gross. It sounds like it's being said with a plugged snotty nose. Egg. Horrible jiggly word.
So no. It's just all too eggy.

They use egg whites as a stand-in for drool or snot for movies. FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

I love eggs. I'm super excited tomorrow is Sunday cuz I have dip eggs every Sunday (over medium with toast points). YUM.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

ohannabelle said:

It's eggy. And smells of eggs. And eggs ( don't read this if you're still eating) smell exactly like snot. Like when little kids have terrible colds, and you can smell it. So awful. I can't really even look at an egg, unless it's mixed into a cake or cookies. Smells like snot, looks like snot. Some people use too much egg in cakes, and it ruins them. Eggy flavor. Even the name egg is gross. It sounds like it's being said with a plugged snotty nose. Egg. Horrible jiggly word.
So no. It's just all too eggy.

I don't mind eggs if they are cooked enough. If they're jiggly.... blech. OMG or hardboiled. Gahhhh hardboiled eggs are the devil.

ETF Santana's face of disgust.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

lolo883 said:

This is just another way JC and beethery are my soulmates. Mayo = horrrrkkkkk. It's like spum on a sandwich. Barf. I can only tolerate it in things like my mom's potato salad IN VERY LOW DOSES, as a cooking ingredient like in my grilled parmesan potatoes, or on a jr. bacon cheeseburger or McChicken which I only eat when I'm shitfaced. Now a good garlic aioli is another story. Or caper. Mmmmm caper.

I am OK with fresh, flavored aioli. Garlic and caper, yum.

But potato salad is a special concoction sent from Hell to convince humans it is delicious and then secretly kill us from the inside out because of its terrible, terrible mayonnaise evil.

mrsmorales2be · July 2014

German potato salad is good, though...

lc07 · July 2014

beethery said:

ohannabelle said:

It's eggy. And smells of eggs. And eggs ( don't read this if you're still eating) smell exactly like snot. Like when little kids have terrible colds, and you can smell it. So awful. I can't really even look at an egg, unless it's mixed into a cake or cookies. Smells like snot, looks like snot. Some people use too much egg in cakes, and it ruins them. Eggy flavor. Even the name egg is gross. It sounds like it's being said with a plugged snotty nose. Egg. Horrible jiggly word.
So no. It's just all too eggy.

They use egg whites as a stand-in for drool or snot for movies. FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

I had no idea. That's gross.

chibiyui · July 2014

lolo883 said:

I love eggs. I'm super excited tomorrow is Sunday cuz I have dip eggs every Sunday (over medium with toast points). YUM.

I loved this because I grew up calling them "dippy" eggs, and I have since childhood learned that most of the world calls them over-easy eggs.

KeptInStitches · July 2014

Texture. Texture texture texture texture texture. Oh god texture.

ohannabelle · July 2014

Is a dippy egg what I think it is? Where it's raw and you dip toast in the eggy mucous? Oh God. I'm not squeamish about a lot, but I never ever go out to breakfast. Because eggs everywhere, and people dipping. And the hootie. How can they take the hootie out of the egg when they're cooked in one blob? That means you're eating it. Oh, no no. I take it out before I mix cookies.

I'm sneaking away from the eggy thread.

WinstonsGirl · July 2014

I just don't like it. No real reason, though taste I suppose, though if I have to scrape it off something, I can manage. I prefer mustard. I like the zingy taste. And I do love all eggs, so it's not an egg thing. Just something I decided I didn't like as a kid and it stuck. I won't eat any something salad sandwich either. Blech

lc07 · July 2014

I'm pretty sure dippy eggs are when the whites are fully cooked but the yolk is runny. Runny whites is gross.

lc07 · July 2014

Also, I have no idea what egg hootie is. But no judgement if you need to walk away. I have a nauseous stomach normally. This stuff just doesn't gross me out.

Viczaesar · July 2014

I'm also curious what hootie is.

I'm meh on both mayo and miracle whip. I don't mind them when someone else puts them on (like a sandwich or a hamburger). I've made and eaten aiolis and don't have a problem with them; my favorite sandwich shop has a "special sauce" that is some sort of aioli and I love it. I just don't ever use it myself. I also don't like eggs. I've been trying to convince myself to like poached eggs and hollandaise sauce (don't ask me why because I don't even know where the urge is coming from), but honestly liquid egg yolks kind of freak me out. I only started eating hard boiled eggs when I was in Turkey, but only when they're hot and even then I only get a craving for them once in a blue moon.

lovesclimbing · July 2014

I like mayonnaise. H hates it. He says it's because it's fatty and bad for you. He loves Miracle Whip, though, and I hate that stuff. The taste is awful.

jdluvr06 · July 2014

I like mayo when I order something at restaurant and it is one of the ingredients. I never use it at home though. Well that isn't entirely true. I make a dip with mayo in it occasionally and I have made my own once but it went bad before we used it all so I didn't bother with that again. It is funny that I like it at all though because in general I really hate eggs. I can eat them in things, like cake or some breadings but to just eat eggs it gross.

ETA: I hate Miracle Whip. It is disgusting.

AddieCake · July 2014

I hate mayo. But I also hate ketchup, mustard, guacamole, and ranch dressing, so I'm an equal opportunity condiment hater.

The Mayonnaise Controversy

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