a cousin is getting married same time I am

Re: a cousin is getting married same time I am

• Jen4948 member

  

  July 2014

  Tell your mother, "Mom, I know you want me to have a nice wedding, but I'm not in a competition with Cousin for the 'best' wedding.  Her wedding is about what works for her and her FI; mine is about what works for me and my FI.  I'd really appreciate it if you'd relax and not worry about whether or not my wedding 'matches up' with hers."
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  July 2014

  I would NOT get into wedding competition with anyone for any reason. It completely distracts from everything that matters. 

  
  

  If your mom is saying stuff like this, I would decline any and all offers she makes to fund it because it won't be about your wedding, it'll be about outdoing your cousin. 

  
  

  And further, I would stop talking wedding with her all together. Be vague and change the subject when she brings it up. Again, it won't be about you - it'll be about her finding out what you're doing and comparing it to your cousin. *eyeroll*

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  July 2014

  holbrooke7 said:

  One of my cousins is getting married and is going through the wedding preparation process at the same time I am.  My mother has to hear about all of this on Facebook & from her brother (my cousin's stepfather).  So now my mother is getting pushy with me to "outdo" my cousin.  Honestly?  My cousin (who is generally pretty spoiled) probably has a bigger budget than what I have, but I don't care. It's her wedding, not mine, and I'm trying not to let it affect my planning.  But my mom's turning into a royal nag about it.  How do I deal with this?
  

  Stop talking to your mom about the wedding.  If she is not paying for any of it, this will be very easy to do.  "Mom, I love you, but I'm not in a competition with cousin on who will be having a better wedding.  I will be hosting my guests properly (I hope you are!) and will be having the wedding that FI and I want to have.  Since all you can think about is competing with cousin, I'm not going to be talking to you about the wedding anymore.  I wish you could just be happy for FI and I instead of trying to compete with cousin over who is having a better party."
  

  

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