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day of wedding - my mom's "secret plan"

bridet0be15bridet0be15 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I love my mom dearly.  Since I have moved out and lived independently we have become really close.  We have a mother-daughter and also a friendship relationship.  I could not imagine getting ready and going through the morning and afternoon of my wedding day without her.

We are getting married an hour+ away from where my parents live.  My mom told me from the beginning that she was going to spend the night before the wedding at the hotel.  She has been involved in every detail of the planning.  I told her before that I have been trying to find a good hair stylist and makeup artist to come to the hotel to do everyone and she seemed really interested.  My sister told me the other day that my mother took her aside and told her that she would like to drive back home (with my sister who is a bridesmaid) and get their hair done (by the same stylist) and come back.  My mom has never mentioned this to me.  I understand people are really committed to their stylist - even though I am not that type.  However, I am thinking that say they make great time there and back that is 2 hours and then an hour each for their hair.  I just pictured my day getting ready with my mom and all my bridesmaids.  I did ask her about it and she said she only goes to this stylist so I understand just bummed that I found out from my sister and feel like my mom was hiding it and my mom won't be there when I get ready.
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Re: day of wedding - my mom's "secret plan"

  • Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Is it possible to offer the bridal party job to mom's stylist? Then nobody "has" to leave.
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  • bridet0be15bridet0be15 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Thats a good idea :)

    Thanks for the suggestion
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  • loveislouderloveislouder member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Keep in mind that hair and make up take a lot of time and sometimes one stylist won't be enough. I've got 6 bridesmaids plus me, my mother, his mother and his grandma. That's 10, so we're having 3 hair and make up people.
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  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I'd be less concerned with mom's particular choice in stylist and more concerned that mom and sister would rather travel all the way and back again rather than be with me while getting ready for my wedding day. That would ... really sting.

    Yeah, see if you can get your mom's stylist to come out. Otherwise I'm really sorry, that just sounds really painful. 

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
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  • lc07lc07 member
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    I agree with the PPs. See what Mom's stylist charges for travel and book her to come up and do their hair with you at the hotel. Traveling worries me for traffic / logistics purposes, too. 
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  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2014

    No one wants to say,  but that sounds really silly, that your mom won't let anyone but one stylist touch her hair. It makes her seem like a real PITA.

    Try crying and begging her to let your BP stylist do her hair. Not cut, just rollers, blow dry, curling iron, whatever.

    Cutting and coloring she can get done anytime, but the day of the wedding, no 2 hour drives. No.



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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    danamw said:

    No one wants to say,  but that sounds really silly, that your mom won't let anyone but one stylist touch her hair. It makes her seem like a real PITA.

    Try crying and begging her to let your BP stylist do her hair. Not cut, just rollers, blow dry, curling iron, whatever.

    Cutting and coloring she can get done anytime, but the day of the wedding, no 2 hour drives. No.



    I would say it if I thought it was silly. Some people are very sensitive about who touches their hair and face. I have no judgement regarding that.
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  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Yes I know some people are weird about things like a stylist. But this is totally impractical. The MOB can do her own makeup, and hair, it is a better solution than a 2 hour drive where there might be a traffic jam, detour, or God forbid a car accident. Not worth the risk. Or missing the wedding. The MOB may just, for one day, her daughter's wedding day, make the effort to step out of her comfort zone.
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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    danamw said:
    Yes I know some people are weird about things like a stylist. But this is totally impractical. The MOB can do her own makeup, and hair, it is a better solution than a 2 hour drive where there might be a traffic jam, detour, or God forbid a car accident. Not worth the risk. Or missing the wedding. The MOB may just, for one day, her daughter's wedding day, make the effort to step out of her comfort zone.
    I agree with you that it's really risky for them to do all of that traveling on the wedding day. And I would be very worried about that. Which is why I suggested that they inquire about paying MOB's stylist to come up to them. 

    I am not capable of doing my own hair and makeup to the standard of a formal event so doing it myself would not be an option. Of course I'm not sure about the MOB's abilities.
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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2014
    lc07 said:

    danamw said:
    Yes I know some people are weird about things like a stylist. But this is totally impractical. The MOB can do her own makeup, and hair, it is a better solution than a 2 hour drive where there might be a traffic jam, detour, or God forbid a car accident. Not worth the risk. Or missing the wedding. The MOB may just, for one day, her daughter's wedding day, make the effort to step out of her comfort zone.
    I agree with you that it's really risky for them to do all of that traveling on the wedding day. And I would be very worried about that. Which is why I suggested that they inquire about paying MOB's stylist to come up to them. 

    I am not capable of doing my own hair and makeup to the standard of a formal event so doing it myself would not be an option. Of course I'm not sure about the MOB's abilities.
    I never understand this. All that is required is that hair is neat. If you wear your hair the way you do almost everyday (up in a ponytail or bun, down, half up with some bobby pins, braided, whatever), and it is neat, then that is perfectly fine for a formal event. If you wear formal clothes, your hair doesn't need some elaborate 'do to be formal as well. 
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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lilacck28 said:
    lc07 said:

    danamw said:
    Yes I know some people are weird about things like a stylist. But this is totally impractical. The MOB can do her own makeup, and hair, it is a better solution than a 2 hour drive where there might be a traffic jam, detour, or God forbid a car accident. Not worth the risk. Or missing the wedding. The MOB may just, for one day, her daughter's wedding day, make the effort to step out of her comfort zone.
    I agree with you that it's really risky for them to do all of that traveling on the wedding day. And I would be very worried about that. Which is why I suggested that they inquire about paying MOB's stylist to come up to them. 

    I am not capable of doing my own hair and makeup to the standard of a formal event so doing it myself would not be an option. Of course I'm not sure about the MOB's abilities.
    I never understand this. All that is required is that hair is neat. If you wear your hair the way you do almost everyday (up in a ponytail or bun, down, half up with some bobby pins, braided, whatever), and it is neat, then that is perfectly fine for a formal event. If you wear formal clothes, your hair doesn't need some elaborate 'do to be formal as well. 
    True but I have very unruly hair that tends to be frizzy. It looks unkempt after about an hour if it isn't formally done.
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  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    I gotta tell ya, I'm trying to be nice here, but since Mom has this hare-brained scheme to drive all the way back home for a hairdo, I'm thinking her stylist can't or won't make the trip out for her. That isn't the easy way around, like everyone thinks.

    Kflynn, you are going to have to pour on the pathetic crying, so your mom won't make this cockamamie trip. Sob, clutch at her hands, fall to your knees. There is too much that can go wrong, in traffic, for a 2 hour drive back and forth, for something as unimportant as a hairdo and a stubborn MOB.

    1) She might be delayed in traffic and miss the wedding. You will spend the time exchanging vows with hubby, worried sick about your mom.

    2) She's late, and you delay the wedding until mom gets there. How long? Until she either shows up, or the venue tells you your time is up.

    3) Get her a cute MOB hat, and it won't matter what her hair looks like. Tell her you like her hair best when it is just washed, combed, and fluffed.


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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    danamw said:

    I gotta tell ya, I'm trying to be nice here, but since Mom has this hare-brained scheme to drive all the way back home for a hairdo, I'm thinking her stylist can't or won't make the trip out for her. That isn't the easy way around, like everyone thinks.

    Kflynn, you are going to have to pour on the pathetic crying, so your mom won't make this cockamamie trip. Sob, clutch at her hands, fall to your knees. There is too much that can go wrong, in traffic, for a 2 hour drive back and forth, for something as unimportant as a hairdo and a stubborn MOB.

    1) She might be delayed in traffic and miss the wedding. You will spend the time exchanging vows with hubby, worried sick about your mom.

    2) She's late, and you delay the wedding until mom gets there. How long? Until she either shows up, or the venue tells you your time is up.

    3) Get her a cute MOB hat, and it won't matter what her hair looks like. Tell her you like her hair best when it is just washed, combed, and fluffed.


    Strenuously disagree.  Her mother is a grown woman who gets to decide who touches her hair and what she does on the day of the wedding leading up to the ceremony.  All this over the top sob story drama is just ridiculous.



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