yea

Knottie81146333 · July 2014

Yea... thanks for all your kind words, but I think the only comments I can really appreciate from this entire thread is that I know my girlfriend and none of you do. So I was wrong for asking for any thoughts on some extra creativity.

I don't know that I've seen a more cynical, self-absorbed, critical bunch of people and I've been on many forums in my life time. This isn't about you. All of the things I suggested.. I know she will enjoy and I am sticking to it, so any criticism AT ALL was NEVER welcome. I never asked for it either. I was asking for extra ideas to incorporate into the idea I had.

Thanks for the "help".

bethsmiles · July 2014

What you have now is already a lot. Personally, I think you could tone it WAY down and still have it be special. Even if you just reserved the gardens area and took her there yourself with couple of glasses and a bottle of wine it would be special.

You should consider if she will really want all of those people present at the proposal. Some people really prefer something more private so that you can have at least a few moments to take everything in before announcing it to everyone.

While over the top grand proposals are really popular up on YouTube and for local news stations to talk about, they certainly aren't the only way to propose.

Knottie81146333 · July 2014

I totally agree, which is why I'd love to have her and I be alone at the end, but I'm pretty confident she would be thrilled to have her friends involved with this.

Just trying to be extra creative/crafty

Thanks for the post!

phira · July 2014

Without knowing your girlfriend, it's impossible to know what she'd think of this. Has she ever hinted--or been explicit--about how she'd want to get engaged? This feels like ... extremely over-the-top.

Swazzle · July 2014

This would be way too much for me.

CLoGreenEyes · July 2014

I had a friend do something kind of like this for his wife. Instead of involving a whole lot of friends, he left envelopes at various points along the path with cards she could read. Less dramatic, more intimate, and something she could keep afterward and look back on to remember the proposal. What about something like that?

Dignity100 · July 2014

That would be way too much for me. Having friends involved puts pressure on the girl to say 'yes', even though more than likely if you're at this point she probably will say yes. It does take out some of the privacy/intimacy. I wanted my engagement to be something with only my FI and me, I didn't want others involved. I think simple is better - some of my favorite stories are basically where the girl just put on yoga pants and was watching tv and her FI proposes to her.

My honest advice (without knowing your GF): Tone down the engagement and keep the garden for an engagement photo session if it's far enough out.

Hummingbird125 · July 2014

I'm with everyone else. This all sounds too over-the-top for me. And even if this IS the kind of thing your GF would enjoy, I just feel like there are too many factors involved that could go wrong and make the whole thing awkward. What if a friend forgets his/her lines? What if one of your recordings doesn't play? What if it starts raining? I really like @CloGreenEyes idea about using letters, and I think you could be the one to take her to this park, walk around with her, and hand her letters to read at different points. That sounds sweet, intimate, and a lot less likely to go wrong.

KeptInStitches · July 2014

This would be way too big for me. I honestly know no one who would enjoy this.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I think I would tone it down, too. that's a lot and pretty overwhelming. I liked the notes idea (a scavenger hunt to find you in the gardens) and I really liked @TwoDimes 's idea of having a fun celebration with your friends after the proposal.

if my H were to have proposed like that to me, I would have felt the whole time (because I would have figured it out fast) that I had to pretend like I was really surprised or whatever, and it would have just felt kind of forced.

I think you're on the right track by taking her back to the gardens, but instead of making it really fancy with tons of people and props, just make it heartfelt. that is what makes a proposal special... not how much you put into it or how awesome or creative or craft. she wants just wants to hear from your heart. I'm sure that you feel a lot of pressure to make your proposal super cool and unique, but trust us: she'd much rather have a special time with you alone, and hear from the very bottom of your heart how much you love her, why you love her, and your commitment to spending the rest of your life as her partner.

Peaseblossom55 · July 2014

This would be too over the top for me. So simpler and like others suggested just use note to recapture the memories.

500days · July 2014

Like other PP I think that there are too many factors that could make it not go your way. I would just take her there yourself, with some wine and intimately propose there. Not every girl wants her proposal with an audience, so it might be better to play it safe if you aren't 100% sure.

Pepperally · July 2014

If you were doing this for some reality TV proposal show, yeah, you could pull this off. But it is over the top and not necessary and way too many dynamics at play. Frankly, friends acting out scenes from your history together is cheesy IMO. Sorry to rain on your parade, as your intentions are great! Everyone else here has made excellent suggestions.

Blackbird230 · July 2014

Didn't we answer this same thread a couple months ago? I remember this...

beanbot2002 · July 2014

I'm the odd ball out in that I would probably like something like this...but then everyone would see me ugly cry. I really like the idea of having envelopes...it's much more intimate. Maybe, if you really really want family/friends involved, they could be waiting at the various 'stations' and hand her the envelopes. No acting it out. Her memory of those important moments are probably far more vivid and warm than a friend acting out could portray. Does that make sense?

Good luck to you!

doubleSS07 · July 2014

TwoDimes said:

I loved your idea up through reserving the gardens where you had your first kiss... then after that you lost me. It's a little over the top with so many people and props involved. I would tone it down to just you, her, and the garden. (those are the important parts anyway, right?)

If you still want to include all of your friends, you could have all your friends waiting at a bar/restaurant down the street for a surprise celebration after the proposal.

Like PP's have said, this just feels like too much for me. I wouldn't have liked all the people involved during the ACTUAL proposal. I love the garden and pavilion idea, I also love the little stops along the way and the idea of using letters or cards or something for her to read on her way to you. If you need some help setting up, get her friends involved that way, have the same friend take her to the garden under the guise of seeing a venue and then she can give her the first envelope with directions. Then they can all meet nearby afterwards for a celebration.

eilis1228 · July 2014

I had a public proposal with all of my friends around, and while it really was a great proposal and was very sweet and creative, having everyone there sort of brought me out of the moment a bit. Everyone was standing around and taking pics as he was doing his thing, and it all felt too surreal and was difficult to process. Having so many people there and feeling the pressure... it was just a lot to take in at once. Plus afterwards I didn't really have a chance to revel in the whole thing because everyone kept coming up to me and hugging me and talking about how excited they were, etc. I'm not complaining because it was a great moment, it really was. I will always remember how wonderful and special my FI's proposal was. He really knocked it out of the park. It was just A LOT to take in, and I kind of wish I'd had a few moments in private to process everything before the bombardment of friends and family. Also, I had a few people kind of criticize my reaction. Seriously. They're my friends, but they kept saying, "Wow, I cried more than you did!" or "I can't believe you didn't say yes! Why did you say 'of course'?" etc.

I guess what I'm saying is overall what you have planned is very sweet and romantic and grand. I had a very sweet public proposal, and it was great. However, if I could have had a private moment between the two of us and then had the public celebration immediately after... I think I would have chosen the latter.

ShallowSeas · July 2014

@blackbird230 one very similar. Big over-the-top proposal.

morphemes · July 2014

Like PP have indicated, we don't know your GF so it's hard for us to help. You know her best. Would she want her friends/family there to witness the proposal? This is a very personal moment, I wouldn't want an audience, but that is just my preference. There is also a certain amount of additional pressure to say "yes" if there are others watching. I don't know if that's any concern to you though.

I really love the suggestion of the envelopes instead of having everyone there. That sounds incredibly sweet. I also love the setting, garden where you had your first kiss, very romantic.

Good luck!

phira · July 2014

I just wanted to add that one of the major reasons I'd advise against this sort of proposal, besides, "Wow, I would be soooooo uncomfortable!" is that so many factors = so many ways everything can go wrong. That's a lot of micromanagement for something that could be incredibly simple.

And, honestly, the more people you have involved, the more the proposal becomes a performance. And that kind of sucks a lot of romance out of it.

Knottie81146333 · July 2014

Yea.. I'm almost regretting posting this here... making me doubt myself. The fact of the matter is, she would love all her friends to be there. She's made that comment a couple of times before and that she'd love to have people be there to take pictures and capture the moment and share the memory with. I'm over the top kind of guy in the first place. I went all out 5 years ago for high school prom and she loved it and told all her friends. I am not worried about her being pressured to say yes because we've been dating for many years and she has even asked before why we aren't married yet. There isn't a question in my mind that she'll say yes.. she won't even have to think about it.

I asked for some creative insight/help given this is how I plan on proposing. I'm not sure I invited the opinions on whether or not YOU would like this as your proposal. Thanks though. I did like the note idea. I was thinking about that myself, but I believe she'll appreciate her friends being involved. I am certainly working on ways to incorporate more intimacy given this plan, but I do believe my girlfriend would be thrilled by this. Not liking the fact that the almost unanimous disapproval makes me question myself.

Knottie81146333 · July 2014

The friends aren't really doing much though. For example, we used to star gaze on the roof of my car at the park, so I'll have a table with cloth over it and car board wheels and windows to make it look like a car which our couple friends will be laying on and looking up where I will have stars hanging from the tree above it. And if what they do isn't 100% on point, it's still cute and fun. Again.. I'll take some of the things you guys have said into consideration.

morphemes · July 2014

Knottie81146333 said:

Yea.. I'm almost regretting posting this here... making me doubt myself. The fact of the matter is, she would love all her friends to be there. She's made that comment a couple of times before and that she'd love to have people be there to take pictures and capture the moment and share the memory with. I'm over the top kind of guy in the first place. I went all out 5 years ago for high school prom and she loved it and told all her friends. I am not worried about her being pressured to say yes because we've been dating for many years and she has even asked before why we aren't married yet. There isn't a question in my mind that she'll say yes.. she won't even have to think about it. I asked for some creative insight/help given this is how I plan on proposing. I'm not sure I invited the opinions on whether or not YOU would like this as your proposal. Thanks though. I did like the note idea. I was thinking about that myself, but I believe she'll appreciate her friends being involved. I am certainly working on ways to incorporate more intimacy given this plan, but I do believe my girlfriend would be thrilled by this. Not liking the fact that the almost unanimous disapproval makes me question myself.

Again, you know your GF better than us (ummm we don't know her AT ALL) and you know what she would like. We don't know anything other than what you posted here, and all we have to go off of us what our own reactions would be. You invited comment on that by posting on an online forum. We responded as best we could with the information provided.

If you know that she would like her friends there--then by all means include her friends! PP commented on that because you didn't include the fact that you already knew she would want that. No one is trying to make you second guess yourself, we're just offering honest feedback--which you requested.

It sounds like a nice proposal and if over-the-top is what she wants, well it sounds like you've definitely got that!!

ShallowSeas · July 2014

@knottie81146333 when my FI proposed he wanted all of our friends there as well. He told them the plan and they were able to come. My FI proposed to me as we were getting our Christmas pictures taken, so we have photos of the proposal now as well

He told our friends what he was doing and since we were outside getting our pictures done, they sat in a restaurant and watched out the window, I had no idea they were even there. Once I said 'yes' they all came out to surprise me and congratulate us. Even though our friends were watching and were there for it, it was still a very intimate and special moment for FI and I.

Swazzle · July 2014

Knottie81146333 said:

Yea.. I'm almost regretting posting this here... making me doubt myself. The fact of the matter is, she would love all her friends to be there. She's made that comment a couple of times before and that she'd love to have people be there to take pictures and capture the moment and share the memory with. I'm over the top kind of guy in the first place. I went all out 5 years ago for high school prom and she loved it and told all her friends. I am not worried about her being pressured to say yes because we've been dating for many years and she has even asked before why we aren't married yet. There isn't a question in my mind that she'll say yes.. she won't even have to think about it. I asked for some creative insight/help given this is how I plan on proposing. I'm not sure I invited the opinions on whether or not YOU would like this as your proposal. Thanks though. I did like the note idea. I was thinking about that myself, but I believe she'll appreciate her friends being involved. I am certainly working on ways to incorporate more intimacy given this plan, but I do believe my girlfriend would be thrilled by this. Not liking the fact that the almost unanimous disapproval makes me question myself.

Actually, when you posted on a public message board full of strangers, you did exactly that.

bethsmiles · July 2014

TwoDimes said:

I loved your idea up through reserving the gardens where you had your first kiss... then after that you lost me. It's a little over the top with so many people and props involved. I would tone it down to just you, her, and the garden. (those are the important parts anyway, right?)

If you still want to include all of your friends, you could have all your friends waiting at a bar/restaurant down the street for a surprise celebration after the proposal.

I love this idea. It's the best of both worlds. You get the private moment with just the two of you and then the fun of all your friends being involved.

loves2shop4shoes · July 2014

I think it's a super sweet idea, and she may very well love it.

But we don't know her, so it's hard to tell. For me personally, I am introverted, and when it comes to such a major moment between two people, I'd prefer it to be JUST me and him, and not many other people.

My husband proposed to me on a sailboat, cruising around a harbor in Maine at sunset. It was just the two of us, and it was a very special moment. I think it would've been sort of diluted if other people were there.

But again, that's me.

eilis1228 · July 2014

@TwoDimes I'm sure you're right. I think they were all overwhelmed too and didn't quite realize what they were saying. It really was a fantastic proposal, and I love how he did it. To the OP: We aren't necessarily trying to change your mind, we're just giving our input. I told FI I didn't care if he did public or private, and it was great that everyone was there because we have pics and were able to celebrate with everyone immediately. I just wanted to point out that there are also cons to having everyone there. It's such an emotionally charged moment, and the added pressure of having friends there may be a distraction. Also, as others have said, having such a complicated proposal can be more stressful overall for everyone since there's so much room for error. I think you've got a great proposal planned out if that's what you both enjoy. It sounds very special and thoughtful. My only suggestion would be to make it a little less complicated. You can still have everyone there, but you don't need so many props everywhere.

Knottie81146333 · July 2014

I'm sorry, I didn't mean I don't invite any opinions, I thought that was obvious. Those just weren't the type of comments I was expecting or looking for. Anyone is free to say whatever they want, but there is a difference between being helpful and just saying oh... "I'd hate that, I'd want it to be more personal."

Any way.. all the negativity hurt initially.. but it broadened my perspective a little bit to think some more. So for that I'm grateful.

Thanks for all the comments everyone.

Knottie81146333 · July 2014

doubleSS07 said:

TwoDimes said:

I loved your idea up through reserving the gardens where you had your first kiss... then after that you lost me. It's a little over the top with so many people and props involved. I would tone it down to just you, her, and the garden. (those are the important parts anyway, right?)

If you still want to include all of your friends, you could have all your friends waiting at a bar/restaurant down the street for a surprise celebration after the proposal.

Like PP's have said, this just feels like too much for me. I wouldn't have liked all the people involved during the ACTUAL proposal. I love the garden and pavilion idea, I also love the little stops along the way and the idea of using letters or cards or something for her to read on her way to you. If you need some help setting up, get her friends involved that way, have the same friend take her to the garden under the guise of seeing a venue and then she can give her the first envelope with directions. Then they can all meet nearby afterwards for a celebration.

I kind of like this idea too. I'll be toying with the different options in my head. Thanks.

Dignity100 · July 2014

Knottie81146333 said:

I'm sorry, I didn't mean I don't invite any opinions, I thought that was obvious. Those just weren't the type of comments I was expecting or looking for. Anyone is free to say whatever they want, but there is a difference between being helpful and just saying oh... "I'd hate that, I'd want it to be more personal."
Any way.. all the negativity hurt initially.. but it broadened my perspective a little bit to think some more. So for that I'm grateful.
Thanks for all the comments everyone.

I'm glad you see that we are just trying to help. No matter how simple the proposal is or how elaborate it is, your GF will remember it. Sometimes as a whole, we over think things when things could be made so much more simple and come out better because of the simplicity.

Keep in mind: Some girls love the idea of being proposed to on the jumbo tron at a major event while other girls would prefer to be proposed to in the privacy of their own home.

Myself, I like the idea of having your close friends/family waiting at a restaurant. You could have one of them near you in order to get pictures if that's what you would like.

yea

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