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Best friend wants a DW and I can't attend

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Re: Best friend wants a DW and I can't attend

  • sofakingmadsofakingmad member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think that it's pretty shitty to say that she doesn't care about her friends or family because she is choosing to have a destination wedding.

    OP, I'm sorry that you won't be able to go, but I'm sure that your friend will completely understand.  Most Destination Brides understand that not everyone can make it.  It comes along with the territory.  
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  • rooz103rooz103 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm just gonna stick to answering OP here... It sounds like you are pretty set on two things: 1) being 95% sure you can't attend a Costa Rican wedding 2) not wanting to sound like you're guilt-tripping your friend. 


    I think I saw PP give some good ways to phrase it in a straight-forward manner, but if you're ridiculously non-confrontational, maybe you can approach it like this next time the wedding is brought up:


    "I'm so excited! Is there anything you need help with before you fly out? I don't think I can make it, but I'd love to help you with [emotional support/planning/whatever you feel comfortable offering]." 


    If she's interested in knowing why you can't attend, you can then open up a conversation about it. It sounds like she's not really far into planning, and a lot can change, but that way you can keep an open line of communication and let her know you support her while not being a doormat. 
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    DragonBlood13 said:
    I think that it's pretty shitty to say that she doesn't care about her friends or family because she is choosing to have a destination wedding.

    OP, I'm sorry that you won't be able to go, but I'm sure that your friend will completely understand.  Most Destination Brides understand that not everyone can make it.  It comes along with the territory.  

    SITB

    I didn't see anybody say that the bride doesn't care about her friends and family because she chose a DW. What I was personally responding to, and calling shitty, was this statement that the OP made: " Her justification is that she wants a really small wedding, and her FI wants a big one, so to eliminate a big wedding, she'll have it where not a lot of people can attend. "

    I said it was shitty for the bride to decide that she gets to have the type of wedding she wants and choosing the location so as to knock out her FI's wishes from the ring of consideration. 
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