Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

irinashayk said:

This is awesome, should have known this

"I still go on to get inspiration ideas and sometimes check out the forums for ideas or when I'm bored. I found the ladies (the regulars) to have these "laws" for the most part:
1. It's NOT your day. Half incorrect. It is your day. But it's also everyone else's day, too.
2. You're wrong for expecting any thing from bridesmaids or MOHs. Correct - except that they buy the dress you pick out (in their budget that you ask ahead of time) and that they are sober and in good spirits the day of. They are not required to throw parties, do craft projects, talking about the wedding in every single conversation, coordinate things for you, etc. They are guests of honor.
Rules: (things some of them find offensive)
1. You only get ONE wedding with your FI. No matter what. Anything else it's a PPD and you're pathetic. (This includes if you two are from different cultures and religions where the ceremonies are different, you had a civil wedding for any reason before the party - even if you did it for a dieing relative to see it, or any other reason where the general public would probably still come and not be offended) I'm just going to point to 52 pages of discussion on this one...
2. Dry weddings are a tacky - no matter what. Your religion says it's a sin? You can't afford it? You're tacky. If you bothered to READ irinaletters, you would realize that regs suggest dry weddings all the time. A dry wedding is a perfectly acceptable way to host when you're on a budget.
General Tips:
Don't make a thread about how you like them (I saw this once) or there'll be some that'll still be snarky. ???
Don't ever disagree with the regulars. Regs disagree all the time. I would say we generally agree on treating guests well, so there's that.
Be prepared to be torn to pieces if you do anything out of the norm there. ???
Follow the laws, rules, and tips and you'll be fine. "

So you've been a member since June 11th and you are an expert on everything TK. I'm so impressed. Please say you'll stay and continue to put people down and psychoanalyze everyone. Please!!!

LDay2014 · August 2014

irinashayk said:

This is awesome, should have known this

"I still go on to get inspiration ideas and sometimes check out the forums for ideas or when I'm bored. I found the ladies (the regulars) to have these "laws" for the most part:
1. It's NOT your day.
2. You're wrong for expecting any thing from bridesmaids or MOHs.
Rules: (things some of them find offensive)
1. You only get ONE wedding with your FI. No matter what. Anything else it's a PPD and you're pathetic. (This includes if you two are from different cultures and religions where the ceremonies are different, you had a civil wedding for any reason before the party - even if you did it for a dieing relative to see it, or any other reason where the general public would probably still come and not be offended)
2. Dry weddings are a tacky - no matter what. Your religion says it's a sin? You can't afford it? You're tacky.
General Tips:
Don't make a thread about how you like them (I saw this once) or there'll be some that'll still be snarky.
Don't ever disagree with the regulars.
Be prepared to be torn to pieces if you do anything out of the norm there.
Follow the laws, rules, and tips and you'll be fine. "

Dry weddings are NOT tacky. What's tacky is asking your guests to open up their wallets for ANYTHING.

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

It's funny how the only staunch defenders of PPDs are the ones who are having one.

katiebelle2882 · August 2014

I fully admit that I think waiting YEARS and not telling people is bizarre.

After thinking about this more-perhaps what is different in NY is that people don't hide it so it's not an issue and if you do have a destination wedding people just assume they got married in the states before legally.

I still don't think though that a few months or weeks should make a difference to any rational person.

And I actually DID used to have an issue with destination weddings until i realized that almost all weddings are in reality bc people don't live close to eachother anymore. Esp in NY where many have moved south to avoid expenses here. Sadly, its cheaper for my cousins in NC and MO to fly to a place like Mexico than it is for them to fly to NY!

I have to admit I read the thing on the guy site too bc all I could think about is how my SO would literally tear me to pieces (rightfully so) if I even deigned to be such a bitch about something so insignificant esp if it's a friend. I think we could all take a page from the guy book when it comes to many things regarding a wedding since in the end-they don't matter. What matters is the marriage itself

I DO agree wholeheartedly that if you get married to save money with benefits then presumably you shouldn't be spending any extra you have on a big wedding.

I wasn't speaking for all of NYC- but in 32 years of living here I have, not once, heard of this issue among anyone. So while 15 people isn't a lot- I have been to a fair share of weddings and known many people who got married and in the long list of faux pas that people have this has never come up. For the record Ive asked at least 10 more and they look at me like I am nuts. None of them have even heard of it either. Exponentially-you are talking about a pretty large population of people who have no idea what the issue is.

As for Dallas being a diverse city and even remotely comparable to NY in that regard, well, I don't really know what to say. We have 11 million people here and entire sections of the city where another language is spoken with no English in site. That may be true for Dallas when we are talking about Spanish- but I don't think your West Indian, or East Indian, or Korean, or Japanese, or even euro expat community comes close. I was posing theories as to why I haven't heard of this was all- and so far it stands up to scrutiny but no-I have no taken a general consensus of the entire state or city and don't mean to say I did. It's just that, to never have heard of this if it is indeed a widespread feeling among people here seems to be almost impossible.

I come from a very Catholic town on LI and to tell you the truth once people got over the fact that many were no longer getting married in a church by a priest everything else wasn't going to bother them lol.

Again-I see the point about it being years and years. But in my own case I will be getting married in Mexico and I came here to see what the deal was with this. We are going to be moving to Spain and have to be "legal" before you apply for the Visa which takes 3-4 months to get approved. Given when we will be leaving (June) and when our wedding is (May) we have to get married two months or so before. Now the difference for me is-we want to have a wedding at a time where it will be the easiest for people to come and take the least amount of days off (lots and lots of teachers in the family) and it was decided that Memorial Day weekend would be the best since everyone is off that Monday. Also- doing the math ahead of time (because seriously its a big concern) its cheaper for people to go to Mexico than NY in both transportation and hotels.

Now because I am seeing this IS an issue- is acceptable to write on an invite "Join so and so in the celebration of their recent marriage"? Because this would be the celebration part of the marriage. If someone asked me if we got legally married ahead of time I wouldn't lie of course. I have no reason to.

Also people get a little mean on here. I think we should all be able to discuss these things. Frankly I find it interesting to see all the little ways people differ.

ohannabelle · August 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

irinashayk said:

Here are some other opinions of guys....

http://community.artofmanliness.com/forum/topics/offended-to-attend-a-fake-wedding

Thanks for this!!! Wow - this really made me change my mind. Fake weddings make a TON of sense now. I'd love to drop $500+ to attend a fake wedding where the couple is less than honest about their marital status. I really see the light now.

Oh, yes, exactly! These three random men are obviously ethics, philosophy, and sociology professors, and one of them is probably a linguistics expert in case there's any question of technically defining a word in their lofty debate. What an enlightening discussion!

Now that they've solved the problem of redefining marriage in modern society, they can fly out to the Gaza Strip and take on the Israeli/Palestinian problem.

The problem with stupid people is that they aren't smart enough to understand that they're stupid. So they just keep making meaningless noises.

It's also the problem with unethical people. They lack the fundamental understanding of ethical behavior, and so are incapable of understanding why other people are bothered by the casual dismissal of that behavior.

ohannabelle · August 2014

Katiebelle, look up the diversity scales for US cities. Yes, I believe New York is the most diverse, but other cities don't fall far behind. The point is diversity does not equal non traditional thinking does not equal liberal thinking does not equal any actual evidence of your theory. Any more than your theory that New Yorkers don't care about weddings, but only partying after. It's a theory. Don't even begin to buy it.

It is really irrelevant, as I don't subscribe to the theory that PPDs are regionally more acceptable in any one place than another. Countries where the civil laws are different do not equal PPDs.

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

@ohannabelle‌, I think I love you.

In a completely non-creepy, non-stalkery way.

MegEn1 · August 2014

irinashayk said:

This is awesome, should have known this

"I still go on to get inspiration ideas and sometimes check out the forums for ideas or when I'm bored. I found the ladies (the regulars) to have these "laws" for the most part:
1. It's NOT your day.
2. You're wrong for expecting any thing from bridesmaids or MOHs.
Rules: (things some of them find offensive)
1. You only get ONE wedding with your FI. No matter what. Anything else it's a PPD and you're pathetic. (This includes if you two are from different cultures and religions where the ceremonies are different, you had a civil wedding for any reason before the party - even if you did it for a dieing relative to see it, or any other reason where the general public would probably still come and not be offended)
2. Dry weddings are a tacky - no matter what. Your religion says it's a sin? You can't afford it? You're tacky.
General Tips:
Don't make a thread about how you like them (I saw this once) or there'll be some that'll still be snarky.
Don't ever disagree with the regulars.
Be prepared to be torn to pieces if you do anything out of the norm there.
Follow the laws, rules, and tips and you'll be fine. "

Wait ... is this a joke? Are we being punked?

Or did you read NOTHING on these forums? You are so far from the truth of what most people say on these forums, it's like you've never read a word of them before. If you're willing to lie to us and yourself so easily, it's no wonder you'd happily lie to your loved ones.

I just ... I can't. This is so far from the truth I just... oh whatever.

ohannabelle · August 2014

And yes, I think inviting people to join you in a "celebration of the recent marriage of" is perfectly acceptable, rational, honest and mannerly behavior. It isn't false, does not require your guests who know to play make-pretend with you, and is not deceiving the guests who didn't know.

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

flantastic said:

irinashayk said:

southernbelle0915 I copy pasted from one site, I don't care about dry weddings period, but yes, don't disagree w regulars, I see that and I am living that experience.

I defend your so called PPDs which BTW it is a rude and disrespectful term, again, I do not condone lying, but people have their reasons to do whatever they do.

I personally was going to have two separate weddings, due to culture, I am South American and he is European. One wedding was basically to please my parents and not to live with him without being married, but now we have decided to move our wedding date so basically no "PPD" here. But I have been to weddings that have been taken place at the court house, at a beautiful cathedral, or at an amazing venue, even on a backyard.

You are incorrect, it is not everyone's day, you are invited to celebrate a couple and their happiness. Correct me if I am wrong but I don't go around weddings telling the bride hey! it is my day too! So, please.

You have your own views, I won't change them, but what I wish is that you don't act so demeaning to the brides to be when they come here looking for advice.

Most of their reasons are bad. We don't have to condone their bad reasons.

Especially on the etiquette board.

ohannabelle · August 2014

Okay, no more Knot for me today. Or this will happen:

mrs4everhart · August 2014

ohannabelle said:
Katiebelle, look up the diversity scales for US cities. Yes, I believe New York is the most diverse, but other cities don't fall far behind. The point is diversity does not equal non traditional thinking does not equal liberal thinking does not equal any actual evidence of your theory. Any more than your theory that New Yorkers don't care about weddings, but only partying after. It's a theory. Don't even begin to buy it.

It is really irrelevant, as I don't subscribe to the theory that PPDs are regionally more acceptable in any one place than another. Countries where the civil laws are different do not equal PPDs.

I don't know if getting legally married in one place then ceremonially in another is or isn't accepted at a higher rate regionally, but I think it's worth consideration. I've lived in three US states, two on the east coast. It's only been since living in CO that weddings in Mexico seem very, very common. In part I theorize because Colorado is immersed in Mexican culture. We have a huge Mexican population, many of whom have been here for generations. We have many Spanish speaking (bilingual) citizens and flights are super inexpensive, relatively quick, and non-stop to both Mexican coasts. Most people choosing this option who compare the legalities choose legally marrying here first bc MX is a pain in the butt. It's super common. Things that become commonplace generally become accepted at a faster rate in the area in which it's commonplace than other places the subject may be considered exotic or even taboo.

perdonami · August 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Well, then I guess I'm just going through life thinking I'm special and disrespecting the institution of marriage. So be it. I'm sure the institution will be just fine regardless of my obvious lack of concern for it. The good news is that this lack of respect will have ZERO effect on anyone else's marriage.

This is just awful; Thank you for elucidating exactly why PPDs are so awful.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

irinashayk said:
You are incorrect, it is not everyone's day, you are invited to celebrate a couple and their happiness. Correct me if I am wrong but I don't go around weddings telling the bride hey! it is my day too! So, please.

Yes. Yes, it is everyone's day. I went to a wedding last weekend and I'm going to another this weekend. I'm totally happy and excited for the couples. I went about my normal day before the wedding. I celebrated with them and danced my ass off at the wedding. I congratulated them and gave them a present. Then I drove home and went about my normal nightly routine. See? It was my day too. And my day involved attending a wedding.

I don't suddenly become a Stepford wife to the couple when I walk into the wedding venue. It doesn't mean I forfeit my existence because my friends are getting married. It doesn't mean that if I'm treated like shit by a B&G that I won't leave early.

The "it's MY day" attitude usually goes hand-in-hand with treating guests like inferior minions, WP members like servants and is used an excuse to do whatever one likes - regardless of the impact on others. It's a slippery slope to bridezilla territory, which is why it's not condoned around here.

JCbride2015 · August 2014

I still think "It's not everyone's day, IT'S MY DAY, they are invited to see ME" is basically at the root of not only PPDs but most rude wedding behavior.

mrs4everhart · August 2014

perdonami said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Well, then I guess I'm just going through life thinking I'm special and disrespecting the institution of marriage. So be it. I'm sure the institution will be just fine regardless of my obvious lack of concern for it. The good news is that this lack of respect will have ZERO effect on anyone else's marriage.

This is just awful; Thank you for elucidating exactly why PPDs are so awful.

Sorry, I assumed it would be taken for the snark it was intended as. I'm looking forward to the invention of sarcasm font for those who can't readily recognize it.

mrs4everhart · August 2014

JCbride2015 said:
I still think "It's not everyone's day, IT'S MY DAY, they are invited to see ME" is basically at the root of not only PPDs but most rude wedding behavior.

I'm pretty sure poor hosting is not the sole domain of one or the other. I think couples can certainly separate the legal from ceremonial while still properly hosting their guests. Just as easily as people can go the traditional route and end up with a hot mess of a wedding (we sure do read enough of that behavior here). I don't think they're related.

Ndelible · August 2014

foundmymagicgeek said:

It's funny how the only staunch defenders of PPDs are the ones who are having one.

Not having two weddings. Nothing wrong with them. Lying is not cool

manateehugger · August 2014

Just so we all know what we're doing here.

Seriously - if you think we're terrible and judgmental people in the minority, why the fuck are you dedicating so much effort to telling us we are wrong?

LDay2014 · August 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Well, then I guess I'm just going through life thinking I'm special and disrespecting the institution of marriage. So be it. I'm sure the institution will be just fine regardless of my obvious lack of concern for it. The good news is that this lack of respect will have ZERO effect on anyone else's marriage.

This is just awful; Thank you for elucidating exactly why PPDs are so awful.
Sorry, I assumed it would be taken for the snark it was intended as. I'm looking forward to the invention of sarcasm font for those who can't readily recognize it.

You're right it won't have any effect on anyone else's marriage (even yours - especially, since you're already married). But what I don't understand is after reading your comment on the CC about one of your relatives skipping a CHEMO treatment to attend your 'wedding' that they don't know isn't an actual wedding...HOW FREAKING SELFISH CAN YOU BE?

MegEn1 · August 2014

irinashayk said:

Sorry it is my day and my FI's day. He is a Pretty Prince, not bc we are having two weddings, but because we want to celebrate big, and we don't care if others do it however they want to do it. We don't care if gays get married, we don't mind interracial marriages, we don't care different cultures uniting, why should I care how and why a couple do what they do with their matrimony? Why should I stick my nose and talk CRAP behind friends back, because this is what I have read, "oh I was invited to a wedding, I went because I had to but I do not condone this kind of behavior" Are you serious? Lying is wrong, we established that, but other than that, you ladies, need to stop thinking that you have the right to judge without knowing what kind of situation or background of any story.
You can make your point without being hurtful. There is one lady, with a beach picture on her sig, she makes her point but she is never rude. NEVER. You should learn.

The whole point of these boards is to provide information about standard rules of etiquette. These are rules that people follow when they want to make sure they don't offend anyone. They're generally established, acceptable practices that can assure no one is offended (or if they are, it's on them).

What we are trying to say is that PPD practice is generally considered poor etiquette, and thereby may offend some people at your wedding or reception. If you don't care? That's fine, it's your event. But please do not try to convince us of the righteousness of your position when it goes against standard etiquette practices. There's a reason that the majority of posters on the etiquette threads are fairly anti-PPD, and even those who are on the fence about it are often anti-lying about it.

I'm in your position on a different issue. As a guest, I don't mind cash bars. I prefer cash bars to dry bars because at least then I can buy a drink (but I'd be miffed if I had to buy my soda). I recognize that etiquette rules state cash bars are a bad hosting technique, and I recognize that many people would be offended by them. So for my reception I would opt for a dry bar or a wet bar I can afford. As a guest, I don't really care. But that is my personal preference versus the established rules of etiquette.

AddieCake · August 2014

I have to stop clicking on this fucking thread. The lack of comprehension, misinterpretation of what people are saying, and general cluelessness are just too much.

manateehugger · August 2014

AddieCake said:

I have to stop clicking on this fucking thread. The lack of comprehension, misinterpretation of what people are saying, and general cluelessness are just too much.

You and me both.

@flantastic, enjoying the new Amy sig! You're always Amy Pohler Sig Person in my head when reading posts.

ETA: Oh and fuckity fuck fuck - because I don't care what your dated, judgemental opinion is on cussing.

MegEn1 · August 2014

LDay2014 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Well, then I guess I'm just going through life thinking I'm special and disrespecting the institution of marriage. So be it. I'm sure the institution will be just fine regardless of my obvious lack of concern for it. The good news is that this lack of respect will have ZERO effect on anyone else's marriage.

This is just awful; Thank you for elucidating exactly why PPDs are so awful.
Sorry, I assumed it would be taken for the snark it was intended as. I'm looking forward to the invention of sarcasm font for those who can't readily recognize it.

You're right it won't have any effect on anyone else's marriage (even yours - especially, since you're already married). But what I don't understand is after reading your comment on the CC about one of your relatives skipping a CHEMO treatment to attend your 'wedding' that they don't know isn't an actual wedding...HOW FREAKING SELFISH CAN YOU BE?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

perdonami · August 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

Katiebelle, look up the diversity scales for US cities. Yes, I believe New York is the most diverse, but other cities don't fall far behind. The point is diversity does not equal non traditional thinking does not equal liberal thinking does not equal any actual evidence of your theory. Any more than your theory that New Yorkers don't care about weddings, but only partying after. It's a theory. Don't even begin to buy it.

It is really irrelevant, as I don't subscribe to the theory that PPDs are regionally more acceptable in any one place than another. Countries where the civil laws are different do not equal PPDs.

I don't know if getting legally married in one place then ceremonially in another is or isn't accepted at a higher rate regionally, but I think it's worth consideration. I've lived in three US states, two on the east coast. It's only been since living in CO that weddings in Mexico seem very, very common. In part I theorize because Colorado is immersed in Mexican culture. We have a huge Mexican population, many of whom have been here for generations. We have many Spanish speaking (bilingual) citizens and flights are super inexpensive, relatively quick, and non-stop to both Mexican coasts. Most people choosing this option who compare the legalities choose legally marrying here first bc MX is a pain in the butt. It's super common. Things that become commonplace generally become accepted at a faster rate in the area in which it's commonplace than other places the subject may be considered exotic or even taboo.

I don't see the point of this comment.

I live in California and we also have a very large Mexican population and are also a bit close to Mexico as well. If we were getting married in Mexico, well we would do so, and if we didn't and chose your route of a PPD we wouldn't lie to anyone about it like you are.

Its bad enough I am asking our loved ones to drive two hours out of there way to a beach ceremony let alone to another country where they won't get to witness our marriage.

Ndelible · August 2014

ohannabelle said:

Katiebelle, look up the diversity scales for US cities. Yes, I believe New York is the most diverse, but other cities don't fall far behind. The point is diversity does not equal non traditional thinking does not equal liberal thinking does not equal any actual evidence of your theory. Any more than your theory that New Yorkers don't care about weddings, but only partying after. It's a theory. Don't even begin to buy it.

I did and Dallas is not in the top 100. And just on a logic level, Dallas would not strike me as the most diverse place, in Texas, let alone the US.
It is really irrelevant, as I don't subscribe to the theory that PPDs are regionally more acceptable in any one place than another. Countries where the civil laws are different do not equal PPDs.

Since PPD is a made up term, it's not likely accepted anywhere. I too have asked people if they were aware of this raging debate. No one was. I asked them if they'd be offended; none were. Made up term; made up problem.

LDay2014 · August 2014

MegEn1 said:

LDay2014 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Well, then I guess I'm just going through life thinking I'm special and disrespecting the institution of marriage. So be it. I'm sure the institution will be just fine regardless of my obvious lack of concern for it. The good news is that this lack of respect will have ZERO effect on anyone else's marriage.

This is just awful; Thank you for elucidating exactly why PPDs are so awful.
Sorry, I assumed it would be taken for the snark it was intended as. I'm looking forward to the invention of sarcasm font for those who can't readily recognize it.

You're right it won't have any effect on anyone else's marriage (even yours - especially, since you're already married). But what I don't understand is after reading your comment on the CC about one of your relatives skipping a CHEMO treatment to attend your 'wedding' that they don't know isn't an actual wedding...HOW FREAKING SELFISH CAN YOU BE?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Nope, in the CC board...her mom's oncologist has cleared her to miss a week of treatment for her daughters 'wedding'. Since it's not actually a wedding, (even if mom knows) she's giving up chemo treatments for a glorified holiday... I actually feel sick to my stomach over this one

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1034657/what-were-you-greatful-for-on-your-wedding-day#latest

Jells2dot0 · August 2014

MegEn1 said:

LDay2014 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Well, then I guess I'm just going through life thinking I'm special and disrespecting the institution of marriage. So be it. I'm sure the institution will be just fine regardless of my obvious lack of concern for it. The good news is that this lack of respect will have ZERO effect on anyone else's marriage.

This is just awful; Thank you for elucidating exactly why PPDs are so awful.
Sorry, I assumed it would be taken for the snark it was intended as. I'm looking forward to the invention of sarcasm font for those who can't readily recognize it.

You're right it won't have any effect on anyone else's marriage (even yours - especially, since you're already married). But what I don't understand is after reading your comment on the CC about one of your relatives skipping a CHEMO treatment to attend your 'wedding' that they don't know isn't an actual wedding...HOW FREAKING SELFISH CAN YOU BE?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Nope, in the CC board...her mom's oncologist has cleared her to miss a week of treatment for her daughters 'wedding'. I actually feel sick to my stomach over this one

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1034657/what-were-you-greatful-for-on-your-wedding-day#latest

I saw this on CC and almost choked. I was in the ICU last week with a blood clot in my heart and everyone was worried I'd have to postpone my chemo. I was distraught over the thought of postponing because it impedes progress!! @STBMrsEverhart‌ - I'm sorry your mom has cancer. I totally understand what it's like to miss out on things due to this terrible disease. Maybe your mom doesn't care about interrupting treatment, but I certainly do! I am missing a wedding tonight because of it. We will always agree to disagree and I see my cancer diagnosis and my wedding completely differently than you. If anything, now that i'm sick, I feel even more strongly about how I got married. I'm just thrilled that we are and no big party or celebration, stress or drama, or any amount of money spent on a day is worth more than my life and being healthy.

edit- double quoted

Maggie0829 · August 2014

irinashayk said:

yeah the ms addiecake contradicts herself all the time, no to the lying, but it is ok to have a party, but noooo dress, no vows, no nothing. so basically have a BBQ on your backyard in blue jeans, do not DARE wear anything white. PLEASE.
Ladies I stood up for myself and others that won't say anything because you will judge them. But it is tiring and time consuming, specially at work!

I don't see how she is contradicting herself. Addie says that the number one thing that she despises about most PPD is the lying (and that goes for pretty much all of us who oppose PPDs). But if you really need the party to make it feel like you are really married then have the flipping party.

Hell if you really need the white dress and the spotlight dances and all that other traditional reception crap to feel married then go right ahead. But don't reenact something and treat it as the real thing because it isn't (I am talking about the ceremony here).

And if you love your friends and family then you should be truthful with them because the worst thing that you can do to someone you love is to lie to them.

chibiyui · August 2014

flantastic said:

irinashayk said:

yeah the ms addiecake contradicts herself all the time, no to the lying, but it is ok to have a party, but noooo dress, no vows, no nothing. so basically have a BBQ on your backyard in blue jeans, do not DARE wear anything white. PLEASE.
Ladies I stood up for myself and others that won't say anything because you will judge them. But it is tiring and time consuming, specially at work!

You really could use a philosophy class. Then you might have a better understanding of what does and does not contradict other points. Seriously, it was super helpful to me.

Stand up for yourself in your relationship first before you start "standing up" for others.

Legally married, now having a "real" wedding? Stop here first! (AKA, the PPD FAQ thread)

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