My thought is that the tip should be a gratuity for at the very least good service. Extra money should never be expected. However, tipping has become so prevalent (in the US) that the law allows servers to be paid way below minimum wage provided they are able to make the difference up in tips which is where the expectation comes in.
I always feel guilty if I don't tip. Heck, I even feel bad when I hand back an empty receipt tip line for a to go order sometimes lol.
That said, there have been occasions when I decide to tip less than 20%. When you know you are working by performance for your wages you need to be taking it seriously. One thing that has started happen within the last couple years with more people going vegan and so many people going gluten free and being picky at restaurants is that when I tell waiters about my egg allergy (which is severe, epipen required, not a "trend") they will LIE to me any say that my food is egg free when it isn't or they will ask "is it for allergy or preference reasons?" I just told you it's an allergy, either look up the ingredients so I can change my order if need be or hold the mayo!!! Major pet peeve that they don't even care enough to ask with the kitchen. They always seem to start sweating and kissing my ass when I say my throat is swelling though. ..
I tip 20% as my baseline - exceptional service will get more than that, lousy service will get less, although seldom less than 10%. I definitely don't enjoy eating out with cheapskates, but that's a whole other can of worms.
What specifically annoys me are the people who always tip, but agonize over every last cent of it - both my mom and my mother-in-law are like this. It's like because it's optional, it becomes this big decision between giving 10 dollars versus 11 dollars or whatever, and it makes me want to scream. You paid for your drinks, apps, dinner, dessert, parking, gas to get there, whatever, but it's like because you now have a choice in how much you pay for THIS ONE THING, it becomes an agonizing dilemma - whereas if the entree simply cost a dollar more you wouldn't even give it a second thought. So they're bringing out calculators and shit... I feel like they're always trying to get away with tipping as little as possible without being seen as stingy (so exactly 10% in MIL's case or exactly 15% in my mom's), and somehow going 50 cents over what they consider the standard just KILLS them.
Two comments.
1.'my sister has a friend that will go out to eat, order a drink, an app, dinner and dessert, and then not tip because she "can't afford it." That would drive me crazy if I went out with her to eat.
2. I'm looking over our wedding contracts and there's a mandatory 16% gratuity. Kay, fine. But there's another 5% sales tax on the gratuity because it's a service and services are always taxed. That's... Wonky, right? Like, not normal?
Two comments.
1.'my sister has a friend that will go out to eat, order a drink, an app, dinner and dessert, and then not tip because she "can't afford it." That would drive me crazy if I went out with her to eat.
2. I'm looking over our wedding contracts and there's a mandatory 16% gratuity. Kay, fine. But there's another 5% sales tax on the gratuity because it's a service and services are always taxed. That's... Wonky, right? Like, not normal?
In my area (Western NY) at mid-high end restaurants, and most venues for banquets ect. it is a mandatory 18% gratuity plus sales tax (which here is 8.75%). Most restaurants will have a minimum number of guests that they will automatically add this on to. In some cases that minimum number of guests is 6. So any table with 6 or more guests at their will automatically have this added on to the bill. Generally that only happens in the higher end restaurants, but from where I am, it is completely normal to have that happen.
Two comments.
1.'my sister has a friend that will go out to eat, order a drink, an app, dinner and dessert, and then not tip because she "can't afford it." That would drive me crazy if I went out with her to eat.
2. I'm looking over our wedding contracts and there's a mandatory 16% gratuity. Kay, fine. But there's another 5% sales tax on the gratuity because it's a service and services are always taxed. That's... Wonky, right? Like, not normal?
In my area (Western NY) at mid-high end restaurants, and most venues for banquets ect. it is a mandatory 18% gratuity plus sales tax (which here is 8.75%). Most restaurants will have a minimum number of guests that they will automatically add this on to. In some cases that minimum number of guests is 6. So any table with 6 or more guests at their will automatically have this added on to the bill. Generally that only happens in the higher end restaurants, but from where I am, it is completely normal to have that happen.
Not wonky, that's the way it works at venues. At least all the ones we looked at except for the ones on base since they don't tax.
As for restaurants adding the gratuity on you can challenge it if you don't want to pay it. I know people that have done this and had it removed from the bill.
I tip 15%. Here in Ontario the least wait staff can make is $8.90 instead of $10.25 minimum wage. So it's a bit different from them making $2.50.
I of course tip more if they're awesome at their job or if I order a lot of drinks.
There is one place near my house where they ALWAYS leave our food sitting there while they flirt with others (it's a wing place that is also a bar)... So we usually have to send it back to warm it up. We only go there since we can walk home after drinking. I really hate tipping them, but I still give them at least the tax (13%) and I'll round it up to the dollar.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
So why is it socially acceptable to tip yet it is really symbol of gratitude of service? The place we went to pays servers min wage but I can understand her idea of not wanting to be expecting tips for doing your job there. I always tip but it was something to think about.
Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.
the job that I have, we're paid less than minimum wage, and have 5% tip out (5% of SALES, not tips). So, when people don't tip, I'm paying for them to eat. It's aggravating at the best of times to not get tipped, but to be told "this is the best service I've ever had, particularly when the bill is multiple hundreds of dollars, it really chaps my ass. I've had situations where I've had 20+ people, bill over $600, and not get a tip. Since that was my only table for the evening, I owed a lot of money.
The other thing that chaps me is the practice of tipping out. At my restaurant, hostesses make $12ish/hr, cooks start at $15, and bartenders are in the middle. Since these all get tipped out by 50+ people, they make WAY more than servers
I did have paragraphs, why TK, why?
We pretty much always tip 20 percent, even if the service isn't that great.
Right now, there's an initiative on the ballot this fall in my state (Alaska) to raise minimum wage two bucks over the next two years and everyone would have to be paid minimum wage, and tips or anything else can't be added in to make up to that minimum wage.
If it passes, I expect restaurant prices to go up and I expect people will start to tip less.
I was always taught to tip 15-20% minimum. If you can't afford the tip, don't go out.
We tip more at our regular places. There's a small taqueria by the house we go to far too often. We tip closer to 40% because the food is cheap, the waitress always grabs an extra large bowl of the spicy pickles carrots when we walk in, and we know she can't earn much.
We also tip more with small kids. They're messy, we make extra requests, and create more work. We tip generously when we know we're being PIAs.
I tip 20% as my standard, more if I know the waitstaff (or if they call us "sir" and "miss" all night - makes me feel special!).
I didn't tip one time, but that was because we didn't see a waiter for 40 minutes after we were seated - and that was the start of the bad service that day.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
So why is it socially acceptable to tip yet it is really symbol of gratitude of service? The place we went to pays servers min wage but I can understand her idea of not wanting to be expecting tips for doing your job there. I always tip but it was something to think about.
I said it was expected, not acceptable. I think that while tipping used to be a symbol of gratitude and going above and beyond the expected service, in North America it has become expected in certain industries. I worked retail for many years, making minimum wage. I often spent 30-60 minutes with 1 customer, just as a server might. I didn't get tipped. I got paid what I agreed to work for, for doing my job. I was ok with that, cos that's what I signed on for when I took the job. Later, I wanted more money, so I got a job that paid better. I wasn't going to rely on other people for my pay check.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
So why is it socially acceptable to tip yet it is really symbol of gratitude of service? The place we went to pays servers min wage but I can understand her idea of not wanting to be expecting tips for doing your job there. I always tip but it was something to think about.
I said it was expected, not acceptable. I think that while tipping used to be a symbol of gratitude and going above and beyond the expected service, in North America it has become expected in certain industries. I worked retail for many years, making minimum wage. I often spent 30-60 minutes with 1 customer, just as a server might. I didn't get tipped. I got paid what I agreed to work for, for doing my job. I was ok with that, cos that's what I signed on for when I took the job. Later, I wanted more money, so I got a job that paid better. I wasn't going to rely on other people for my pay check.
SITB
I would love it if you shared what you do for a living. I highly doubt you aren't depending on others for your paycheck.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
So why is it socially acceptable to tip yet it is really symbol of gratitude of service? The place we went to pays servers min wage but I can understand her idea of not wanting to be expecting tips for doing your job there. I always tip but it was something to think about.
I said it was expected, not acceptable. I think that while tipping used to be a symbol of gratitude and going above and beyond the expected service, in North America it has become expected in certain industries. I worked retail for many years, making minimum wage. I often spent 30-60 minutes with 1 customer, just as a server might. I didn't get tipped. I got paid what I agreed to work for, for doing my job. I was ok with that, cos that's what I signed on for when I took the job. Later, I wanted more money, so I got a job that paid better. I wasn't going to rely on other people for my pay check.
SITB
I would love it if you shared what you do for a living. I highly doubt you aren't depending on others for your paycheck.
I think she meant relying of the whim of customers to determine how much she makes on any given day as opposed to having a set salary.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
So why is it socially acceptable to tip yet it is really symbol of gratitude of service? The place we went to pays servers min wage but I can understand her idea of not wanting to be expecting tips for doing your job there. I always tip but it was something to think about.
I said it was expected, not acceptable. I think that while tipping used to be a symbol of gratitude and going above and beyond the expected service, in North America it has become expected in certain industries. I worked retail for many years, making minimum wage. I often spent 30-60 minutes with 1 customer, just as a server might. I didn't get tipped. I got paid what I agreed to work for, for doing my job. I was ok with that, cos that's what I signed on for when I took the job. Later, I wanted more money, so I got a job that paid better. I wasn't going to rely on other people for my pay check.
SITB
I would love it if you shared what you do for a living. I highly doubt you aren't depending on others for your paycheck.
I think she meant relying of the whim of customers to determine how much she makes on any given day as opposed to having a set salary.
My point is that there are a ton of jobs out there that require sales in order to keep being paid even if the job isn't a sales position. Other jobs just have all costs built in bit of the sales go away, so do the jobs.
You can dislike tipping but you're still obligated to do it. Not liking it isn't a reason to abandon the practice. It's a reason you become an asshat.
I hate tipping. I do it only cos it's expected socially. And I do tip always, 10% for bad service, 15-20% for good service. But I hate that I'm expected to do it. I get that many servers make much less than minimum wage in many places, but not here. Minimum wage is $9.95, servers get $9.05. It's a bit less, but not so much as in many other places.
I firmly believe that if you are relying on your tips to make ends meet you should find a new job as not everyone is going to be willing to tip. A good friend used to bitch all the time about customers who left a shitty tip. I told him to find a job where he didn't rely on the whims of customers and what they felt they wanted to leave.
I also don't agree that people who were liquor should have a different minimum wage. We just got back from northern Europe where it is not common at all to tip, and it was lovely not having to figure out how much to leave.
So why is it socially acceptable to tip yet it is really symbol of gratitude of service? The place we went to pays servers min wage but I can understand her idea of not wanting to be expecting tips for doing your job there. I always tip but it was something to think about.
I said it was expected, not acceptable. I think that while tipping used to be a symbol of gratitude and going above and beyond the expected service, in North America it has become expected in certain industries. I worked retail for many years, making minimum wage. I often spent 30-60 minutes with 1 customer, just as a server might. I didn't get tipped. I got paid what I agreed to work for, for doing my job. I was ok with that, cos that's what I signed on for when I took the job. Later, I wanted more money, so I got a job that paid better. I wasn't going to rely on other people for my pay check.
SITB
I would love it if you shared what you do for a living. I highly doubt you aren't depending on others for your paycheck.
I think she meant relying of the whim of customers to determine how much she makes on any given day as opposed to having a set salary.
My point is that there are a ton of jobs out there that require sales in order to keep being paid even if the job isn't a sales position. Other jobs just have all costs built in bit of the sales go away, so do the jobs.
You can dislike tipping but you're still obligated to do it. Not liking it isn't a reason to abandon the practice. It's a reason you become an asshat.
No one is obligated to tip unless it is built into a contract they have signed. An obligation is something you have to do. You do not have to tip.
If I go out to dinner with someone who doesn't tip or who only tips 10%, it will be the last time I go out with them.
This.
Your friend can disagree with the North American gratuity system and have philosophical issues with it all she wants, but punishing the poor server who happens to be assigned to wait on her is just selfish and cheap. Seeing a friend do that would really make me question their character. I hope you left a few bucks on the table as you walked out.
If she really has an issue with the tipping culture, she can stop visiting restaurants that pay servers 2.13 and start some petitions and awareness about the wage issue. Refusing to tip isn't going to change the system.
No one is obligated to tip unless it is built into a contract they have signed. An obligation is something you have to do. You do not have to tip.
You sure don't. Unless you don't want to look like an asshole.
STB:
Like I said before, I always tip. I just don't see it as an obligation. I don't think it makes someone an asshole to not tip. I also don't think the law should allow people to be paid less than minimum wage because they work in an industry where being tipped is customary.
I haven't read through the comments so this may have already been brought up, and even beaten to death, but let me get this straight: Not only did your cheap ass friend decide to not tip on her half of the bill, she decided to not tip for you as well? First, I'd have covered the tip for both of us if I were you, OP. Then, I'd end the friendship. Your non-tipping friend needs to stop dining out immediately. And a swift kick to the vag.
No one is obligated to tip unless it is built into a contract they have signed. An obligation is something you have to do. You do not have to tip.
You sure don't. Unless you don't want to look like an asshole.
This. You ARE obligated to tip. It's a moral/social obligation but going out to eat and not tipping means you have failed to fulfill your social obligation. The restaurant can't have you arrested because it isn't a legal obligation but you're going to be viewed as a rather large ass-turd if you say that you don't tip because it's not a requirement.
No one is obligated to tip unless it is built into a contract they have signed. An obligation is something you have to do. You do not have to tip.
You sure don't. Unless you don't want to look like an asshole.
This.
You ARE obligated to tip. It's a moral/social obligation but going out to eat and not tipping means you have failed to fulfill your social obligation. The restaurant can't have you arrested because it isn't a legal obligation but you're going to be viewed as a rather large ass-turd if you say that you don't tip because it's not a requirement.
SITB
SO MUCH THIS!! Society functions because people go beyond the bare minimum of what is "required" or what we are "legally obligated" to do! Everyday we do things that we are obligated to do, not because it would be illegal not to, but because it would not be socially acceptable. For example, I could, legally, skip to the front of the line at Starbucks every morning. There's no law against it, but I am still obligated, on a social level, to wait in line for my turn.
You are not legally obligated to send thank-yous for your wedding presents, but it is expected and obligatory in a social sense.
The same for tipping. It is expected and there is an obligation there.
No one is obligated to tip unless it is built into a contract they have signed. An obligation is something you have to do. You do not have to tip.
You sure don't. Unless you don't want to look like an asshole.
This.
You ARE obligated to tip. It's a moral/social obligation but going out to eat and not tipping means you have failed to fulfill your social obligation. The restaurant can't have you arrested because it isn't a legal obligation but you're going to be viewed as a rather large ass-turd if you say that you don't tip because it's not a requirement.
I disagree. I see no social or moral obligation to tip anyone. We are just going to disagree on this and not change each other's minds.
I never said I don't tip because it's not a requirement. In fact I have stated at least twice that I do tip. However, I tip because I choose to, not because I feel obligated to or am afraid to be seen as an asshole. I would not end a friendship with someone because they chose not to tip.
No one is obligated to tip unless it is built into a contract they have signed. An obligation is something you have to do. You do not have to tip.
You sure don't. Unless you don't want to look like an asshole.
This. You ARE obligated to tip. It's a moral/social obligation but going out to eat and not tipping means you have failed to fulfill your social obligation. The restaurant can't have you arrested because it isn't a legal obligation but you're going to be viewed as a rather large ass-turd if you say that you don't tip because it's not a requirement.
I disagree. I see no social or moral obligation to tip anyone. We are just going to disagree on this and not change each other's minds.
I never said I don't tip because it's not a requirement. In fact I have stated at least twice that I do tip. However, I tip because I choose to, not because I feel obligated to or am afraid to be seen as an asshole. I would not end a friendship with someone because they chose not to tip.
You failing to see the obligation does not negate the existence of said obligation. The FACT that servers depend on tips as part of their salary is further evidence of the obligatory nature of tipping here in the United States.
That you don't understand that others SHOULD tip is quite concerning.
I haven't read through the comments so this may have already been brought up, and even beaten to death, but let me get this straight: Not only did your cheap ass friend decide to not tip on her half of the bill, she decided to not tip for you as well? First, I'd have covered the tip for both of us if I were you, OP. Then, I'd end the friendship. Your non-tipping friend needs to stop dining out immediately. And a swift kick to the vag.
While I do disagree with her, I am not going to end a friendship over this. I mentioned above the place we dined at pays minimum wage and their servers accept tips. I have been to places with her that rely on tips such as Red Robin or Olive Garden and she did leave gratuity.
Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.
I definitely tip. When I get a cheap meal I tip more like 25-30% because the server still has to do the same amount of work at a greasy spoon diner as they do at places with $30 entrees. The nicer places I go 18-20% depending on how good the service was.
Once, at a pub, all the waitress did was take our order at the beginning and bring the check at the end. The busboy did everything else including drink refills. It was really weird. As such, we didn't leave a tip on the table. We ran after the busboy and gave him cash directly, explaining that he served us far more than the waitress.
Sorry, we've been out all day. I teach, but yes, I meant that servers often rely on the whims of their customers on whether they make more money than their regular paycheque. I have friends who gave great service and received little to no tip. They still got their paycheque, but were relying on the whim of the customer for more.
I also mentioned that I always tip. Just because I don't like or agree with it doesn't mean that I don't do it. I also tip very well cos I can afford to go out and know it's expected. I still don't like it. It's also a very North American thing, as there are a lot of other countries where tipping is seen as rude - implying that the server only gave good service in expectation of a tip. However, I realize this is mostly a North American based forum.
I also noted that our while servers here do make less than minimum wage, it is not much less, under $1. Servers here make over $9 per hour, and I understand this is a lot more than in many other places.
Re: Expectation vs Gratituity
That said, there have been occasions when I decide to tip less than 20%. When you know you are working by performance for your wages you need to be taking it seriously. One thing that has started happen within the last couple years with more people going vegan and so many people going gluten free and being picky at restaurants is that when I tell waiters about my egg allergy (which is severe, epipen required, not a "trend") they will LIE to me any say that my food is egg free when it isn't or they will ask "is it for allergy or preference reasons?" I just told you it's an allergy, either look up the ingredients so I can change my order if need be or hold the mayo!!! Major pet peeve that they don't even care enough to ask with the kitchen. They always seem to start sweating and kissing my ass when I say my throat is swelling though. ..
What specifically annoys me are the people who always tip, but agonize over every last cent of it - both my mom and my mother-in-law are like this. It's like because it's optional, it becomes this big decision between giving 10 dollars versus 11 dollars or whatever, and it makes me want to scream. You paid for your drinks, apps, dinner, dessert, parking, gas to get there, whatever, but it's like because you now have a choice in how much you pay for THIS ONE THING, it becomes an agonizing dilemma - whereas if the entree simply cost a dollar more you wouldn't even give it a second thought. So they're bringing out calculators and shit... I feel like they're always trying to get away with tipping as little as possible without being seen as stingy (so exactly 10% in MIL's case or exactly 15% in my mom's), and somehow going 50 cents over what they consider the standard just KILLS them.
I tip 15%.
Here in Ontario the least wait staff can make is $8.90 instead of $10.25 minimum wage. So it's a bit different from them making $2.50.
I of course tip more if they're awesome at their job or if I order a lot of drinks.
There is one place near my house where they ALWAYS leave our food sitting there while they flirt with others (it's a wing place that is also a bar)... So we usually have to send it back to warm it up.
We only go there since we can walk home after drinking. I really hate tipping them, but I still give them at least the tax (13%) and I'll round it up to the dollar.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.
We tip more at our regular places. There's a small taqueria by the house we go to far too often. We tip closer to 40% because the food is cheap, the waitress always grabs an extra large bowl of the spicy pickles carrots when we walk in, and we know she can't earn much.
We also tip more with small kids. They're messy, we make extra requests, and create more work. We tip generously when we know we're being PIAs.
SITB
I would love it if you shared what you do for a living. I highly doubt you aren't depending on others for your paycheck.
My point is that there are a ton of jobs out there that require sales in order to keep being paid even if the job isn't a sales position. Other jobs just have all costs built in bit of the sales go away, so do the jobs.
You can dislike tipping but you're still obligated to do it. Not liking it isn't a reason to abandon the practice. It's a reason you become an asshat.
I'm the fuck out.
This.
You ARE obligated to tip. It's a moral/social obligation but going out to eat and not tipping means you have failed to fulfill your social obligation. The restaurant can't have you arrested because it isn't a legal obligation but you're going to be viewed as a rather large ass-turd if you say that you don't tip because it's not a requirement.
You failing to see the obligation does not negate the existence of said obligation. The FACT that servers depend on tips as part of their salary is further evidence of the obligatory nature of tipping here in the United States.
That you don't understand that others SHOULD tip is quite concerning.
Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.
Once, at a pub, all the waitress did was take our order at the beginning and bring the check at the end. The busboy did everything else including drink refills. It was really weird. As such, we didn't leave a tip on the table. We ran after the busboy and gave him cash directly, explaining that he served us far more than the waitress.