Honeymoon Registry through Agent

Jells2dot0 · August 2014

My advice is no way mentions changing your plans or getting rid of your honeymoon registry. Asking for money is rude, but having actual things your guests can buy from your agent, with no fees, and you receiving those actual gifts is acceptable. It requires a little more legwork on your part to work with your agent, but it in now way changes the basics of your plan.

My guess is that you can't afford a honeymoon at all, so you are hoping to receive gift cards to see what the total is after the wedding and then use that money to cover your entire trip. If you could afford a honeymoon, you could afford the down payment to get the specifics in place and then have your guests supplement that.

photokitty · August 2014

I came here from the other DD...bat signal of a bat signal - that's a extra special SS right there

nicely done

LDay2014 · August 2014

edkeller33 said:

The posts I've been reading ARE on TheKnot. I'm not concerned with what people I don't know think is "tacky or rude". In all honesty, this post was more so directed at people that have gone this route and asking their advice on how to do it.
As a side note, we can and will be going on our honeymoon with or without help from others. If we all went by "tradition" and who does what--The parents would still be paying for everything--as this is a new day in age, I think some "rules" can be changed. This is a celebration of us. We are have a very small wedding (50 people) close family and friends.
So please, let me know if you HAVE done this and how you informed your guests, etc. I don't need people's opinions on if I should, because that's not what I'm asking. Again, not trying to offend, but I don't think someone should keep being told how wrong they are when they didn't ask for that kind of feedback.

So, OP you mention you can and will be going on your honeymoon with or without the help of others. If this is so, then why are you registered for a honey fund where people will pay for your honeymoon? I'm confused.

Additionally, if you're struggling to find a way to word things 'tastefully' as you put it, it's because you know what you're trying to do is distasteful.

sarawifenow · August 2014

Saw the DD. Came for the puppies. OP, DDing will not make posts stop...it will make them multiply. And with that I leave this:

Jells2dot0 · August 2014

We see this time and time again. OP wants advice on how to handle their idea in a tasteful manner. When it's the general consensus that there is no tasteful manner in which to handle it, knotties offer solutions that may require some changes. However, the advice does not validate the original idea and avoids the possibility of being rude or offensive to the OP's guests. Almost every time, the OP doesn't want to put in the effort to do the right thing.

Personally, the travel agent direct registry idea was great! Just not the gift card part. I would love to sit with my FI, choose some great add-ons for the HM, and set the list up with my agent. Everytime someone buys something, and the agent updates the itinerary, i'd be psyched to see what fun thing we'd be doing on our HM. If OP can really afford the HM, what fun is getting a bunch of gift cards to cover the trip balance?

Edit- grammar

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

Definitely in need of more puppies.

JoanE2012 · August 2014

edkeller33 said:

Couldn't figure out how to delete post--so this is how I'm doing it.

Well, that's because you can't delete posts! And doing this just draws more attention to it. You were quoted, so it's really pointless!

mlg78 · August 2014

It's amazing how a deleted post or an irrational poster will bring all the non-honeymoon board regulars to this neck of the woods...

climbingsingle · August 2014

My cousin is having a honeymoon registry. She listed it on her website. And I cringed because it's tacky as fuck. I still love her and think she's great. But this is a huge misstep.

OP, we're trying to save you this embarrassment. It's a shame you can't see that.

edkeller33 · August 2014

People assumed we were only doing the "gift cards". We will be sitting down with the travel agent to see if we can set-up outtings/dinners/masages instead. We also want to take pictures of us doing the various activities and make a little website that we include in the thank you's so people can see us "using" their gifts. However, people on here didn't ask any of that--they assumed I was going to just say "send me cash for my honeymoon". I find it tacky that people feel the need to attack someone's idea or way of doing things. I see your POV's; however, I don't agree (and neither do my bridesmaids, who I've also shared my ideas with).

So again, if you're going to continue to bash me and make assumptions, I'd prefer you not answer because your not being helpful, you're being hurtful. Trying to force an opinon on someone about their wedding/honeymoon is also tacky, tasteless and unnecessary in my book.

edkeller33 · August 2014

PS I find it very rude you assume we can't pay for our honeymoon. We can make the downpayment and pay for the entire trip. We were planning on doing it the way you suggested (purchasing actual gifts if they'd like); however, we've just begun to work with our agent to figure it out.

You don't know me or my situation so to assume I'm asking for handouts because I can't "afford it" is tasteless. I would not be planning for a wedding/honeymoon we can't afford.

Just wanted to add that making assumptions about people you don't know and then posting them online FOREVER is tasteless and shows you are rude/tacky.

edkeller33 · August 2014

It's not what I'm saying. I've explained it several ways and gone into greater detail. I'm done checking this post because clearly people just want to argue.

Enjoy your day ladies (and gents)!

Liatris2010 · August 2014

edkeller33 said:

People assumed we were only doing the "gift cards". We will be sitting down with the travel agent to see if we can set-up outtings/dinners/masages instead. We also want to take pictures of us doing the various activities and make a little website that we include in the thank you's so people can see us "using" their gifts. However, people on here didn't ask any of that--they assumed I was going to just say "send me cash for my honeymoon". I find it tacky that people feel the need to attack someone's idea or way of doing things. I see your POV's; however, I don't agree (and neither do my bridesmaids, who I've also shared my ideas with).
So again, if you're going to continue to bash me and make assumptions, I'd prefer you not answer because your not being helpful, you're being hurtful. Trying to force an opinon on someone about their wedding/honeymoon is also tacky, tasteless and unnecessary in my book.

Your back peddling is ridiculous because you were quoted and everyone can read what you said in your original post. We didn't assume you wanted people to contribute cash directly to your travel agent, that is what you told us you were doing. I'm glad you decided to take Jells2dot0's advice, but to pretend that was your plan all along and that we ganged up on you just to pick a fight is simply untrue. The classy thing to do would have been to come back, say you thought about the suggestions and decided Jells' was the best one and thanked her.

climbingsingle · August 2014

Your bridesmaids are not going to tell you to your face that idea is tacky or terrible.

And if you can afford your entire HM, why are you asking your guests to pay for it? If you want cash, just don't register for anything.

CMGragain · August 2014

You asked us a question. We answered you. Honeymoon registries are considered to be rude and tacky. There is no polite way to do this.
Just because you know other people who have done it, does not make it acceptable.
I do hope you take our advice and cancel the honeymoon registry. You have a greedy travel agent. Mine would never so this!

MNVegas · August 2014

OP your question was is there a way to TASTEFULLY tell your guests about your HM registry. Virtually everyone on here told you NO there isn't. What don't you understand? People are not going to change their minds no matter how much you want them to because what you are planning on doing is rude. If you want to be rude to your guests and think so little of them, there is not much more we can tell you.

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