I have a close friend from college who I reconnected with in the past 2 years and now we talk almost daily and visit fairly regularly. She is a newly single mom and having money and time issues so when it came time to start choosing a wedding party she - without being asked - let me know that she wasn't sure if I was planning on asking her or not but that she didn't have the money or time to devote to being a part of my wedding party. What she would like to offer was to set up my centerpieces and favors in the reception hall since she knew I wouldn't have the time to do that for our 10am wedding. Her daughter is going to be a flower girl (I paid for her dress and everything needed) and I've tried to include my friend in all of the nice things I am doing for the wedding party (gift, paying for her hotel room, manicures the day before) because she really is a great friend and I wanted to do those things, plus I know that just attending the wedding at all (she would have to travel and get a hotel room) would be a stretch on her already thin budget.
Now I'm putting together our program and I want to thank and honor her in a similar way that I am doing for our attendants. I've heard that having "honorary bridesmaids" is poor etiquette, so is there a proper way to make her feel included, or should I just leave it to a personal thank you note and gift (which I would be doing either way)?