SPINOFF FROM PET PEEVE: What's your weirdest idiom???

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

Y'all y'all y'all humor me and give me the weirdest idiom you've ever heard.

Mine: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. (I don't even know where this came from, but my dad says this any time we bitch about friends/family/whatever.)

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

My dad likes to say "whatever blows your skirt up" in reference to whatever makes you happy. I get the strangest looks whenever I use it!

And I'm always a fan of "sweating like a sinner in Church."

beethery · August 2014

Farts in church

I can't think of another one right now and it's pissing me off.

cupcait927 · August 2014

lolo883 said:

My dad likes to say "whatever blows your skirt up" in reference to whatever makes you happy. I get the strangest looks whenever I use it!

And I'm always a fan of "sweating like a sinner in Church."

This phrase is a personal favorite of FI's. I had heard it prior to meeting him but I have no idea where he gets it from, since I've never heard either of his parents saying it.

chibiyui · August 2014

I always tell my customers "measure twice, buy once".

slothiegal · August 2014

My mom says "it could gag a maggot on a dump truck", but my dad always mixes it up and says "gag a maggot on a stick". No, Daddy.

ShesSoCold · August 2014

Whenever I have the same thought as someone else, I say, "Great minds think alike - and so do ours!". Lame, I know. But I think it's hilarious.

afox007 · August 2014

My favorite is hanging on my kitchen wall on a sign FI bought me "No use crying over spilled milk, it could have been wine."

lurkergirl · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

Y'all y'all y'all humor me and give me the weirdest idiom you've ever heard.

Mine: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. (I don't even know where this came from, but my dad says this any time we bitch about friends/family/whatever.)

I've heard a variation of this: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your seat on the bus, but you can't pick your nose!

Like a fart in the wind (disclaimer, I don't like saying that word aloud, but it amuses me to hear other people say it)

You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit.

When I said "That's not fair," as a kid, my dad always responded, "That's right. A fair is place you go to have fun, and life isn't fair."

Way to have a positive outlook, dad!

jenna8984 · August 2014

We live in MA where there are clam bakes so it's fairly common when you want to leave somewhere to say "let's blow this clam bake". For some reason my dad switched the words (on purpose) and he always says "let's clam this blow bake!" People look at me like I'm nuts when I say it.

That movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers from the 70's, aliens make these pods in people's basement and take over their bodies. Whenever someone isn't acting like themselves they say "check for pods!". This gets totally lost on everyone my age that I say it to, but people our parents' age get it.

blabla89 · August 2014

Cold as a witch's tit and cold as a grave digger's ass (both courtesy of my late grandfather)

wandajune6 · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

Y'all y'all y'all humor me and give me the weirdest idiom you've ever heard.

Mine: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. (I don't even know where this came from, but my dad says this any time we bitch about friends/family/whatever.)

My dad taught us that too! I taught it to FI's nieces and nephews and they think it's hysterical!

I know that I have a bunch I use but can't think of any of them at the moment.

alpacalunch · August 2014

Old family sayings:

"Now get out, and never darken my bathtub again!" = it was lovely to see you at my home

"I need to go blow the stink off myself" = I'm going stircrazy, and would like an outing

lovemyrunner · August 2014

My personal faves are 'Holy Guacamole!" and "Okey Dokey Artichokey!" I like rhymes. All of my dad's favorite sayings involved barn yard animals: "You're crazier than a hoot owl." "You're gonna get my goat." (for when we were making him angry) "That's slicker than goose shit on a pump handle!" (reserved for stuff that he found impressive. No, neither me nor my dad grew up on or ever lived on a farm. We're cityfolk. So that makes his sayings even weirder.

WinstonsGirl · August 2014

My co-worker always says "Whatever makes your bum hum" to indicate whatever makes you happy. I say Holy Crow a lot, when I can't say fuck instead. DH commented that he's never heard it. Then my Granny dropped it on him and he realized where I got it from

ETA - and I got "close enough for jazz" from my HS music teacher. Basically, good enough

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

blabla89 said:

Cold as a witch's tit and cold as a grave digger's ass (both courtesy of my late grandfather)

Oooh, yeah, I've heard a variation of this one: "Cold as a witch's brass brassiere." I NEVER understood this as a kid. I had no idea what a "brassiere" was.

chrisandcait said:

Old family sayings:
"Now get out, and never darken my bathtub again!" = it was lovely to see you at my home
"I need to go blow the stink off myself" = I'm going stircrazy, and would like an outing

Also: "Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you."

I am LOVING the number of "dadioms" coming up too. For some reason, my dad is especially fond of saying, "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass all the time" when we say something about if we had this or that. Seriously my dad is just weird.

SmileDamnit · August 2014

My fave is "two shakes of a lambs tail" because, well, lambs are cute

My mom looooooves to say "in tall cotton". It's supposed to be an idiom for doing very well or being successful, but she uses it wrong every.single.time.

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

SmileDamnit said:

My fave is "two shakes of a lambs tail" because, well, lambs are cute

My mom looooooves to say "in tall cotton". It's supposed to be an idiom for doing very well or being successful, but she uses it wrong every.single.time.

"Livin' high on the hog's back!" (That's what "in tall cotton" made me think of.)

(I could seriously read this thread for DAYS.)

beethery · August 2014

I say holy bananas all the time. A friend's wife used it a lot and somehow I ended up using it. My phrases find their way into others' mouths a lot.

FI says, "We good," and "Trying it" all the time. I find when he says "Tryin' it" particularly hilarious because I got that from a drag queen. I have funnier ones but I can't think of any right now. Still pissing me off!

lovemyrunner · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:
I am LOVING the number of "dadioms" coming up too. For some reason, my dad is especially fond of saying, "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass all the time" when we say something about if we had this or that. Seriously my dad is just weird.

Um. Love the frog and totally have to work it into my repertoire!

slothiegal · August 2014

beethery said:

I say holy bananas all the time. A friend's wife used it a lot and somehow I ended up using it. My phrases find their way into others' mouths a lot.

FI says, "We good," and "Trying it" all the time. I find when he says "Tryin' it" particularly hilarious because I got that from a drag queen. I have funnier ones but I can't think of any right now. Still pissing me off!

SIB

"Not today, Satan" and "If it's right, it's right" are part of my daily repertoire. H loves saying, "Don't be jelly of my boogie" whenever I call him out on something.

VulgarGirl · August 2014

My personal favorite "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya" and my grandma always says "Stick with me kid and I'll have you farting through silk",which...what does that even mean? Is silk really hard to fart through?

smalfrie19 · August 2014

My mother when I was a child and would tell me"no" and i would still continue to ask would say "N stands for Never ask me twice and O stands for obviously you should know better" I say it all the time.

Also, I like to use "let's make like a baby and "head out" " I think its funny,

larrygaga · August 2014

blabla89 said:

Cold as a witch's tit and cold as a grave digger's ass (both courtesy of my late grandfather)

I was going to post that I always say "colder than a witch's tit in January". Also courtesy of my grandpa.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

My dad also says "well I'll be go to hell" and IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Plus "busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger" and "I've got more problems than Carter's got liver pills."

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

lolo883 said:

My dad also says "well I'll be go to hell" and IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Plus "busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger" and "I've got more problems than Carter's got liver pills."

That... whatever-it-is... is missing a key part of a sentence somewhere. Or something. It's making my ten-minutes-to-going-home-time brain hurt.

I've heard "busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" all.my.life.

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

MagicInk said:

My personal favorite "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya" and my grandma always says "Stick with me kid and I'll have you farting through silk",which...what does that even mean? Is silk really hard to fart through?

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

lolo883 said:

My dad also says "well I'll be go to hell" and IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Plus "busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger" and "I've got more problems than Carter's got liver pills."

That... whatever-it-is... is missing a key part of a sentence somewhere. Or something. It's making my ten-minutes-to-going-home-time brain hurt.

I've heard "busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" all.my.life.

Or "busier than a one-legged dog with fleas." Which still doesn't make very much sense because a dog generally sits down and scratches with one leg anyway... I suppose it could only get to one side.

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

lolo883 said:

CaitTDid23 said:

lolo883 said:

My dad also says "well I'll be go to hell" and IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Plus "busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger" and "I've got more problems than Carter's got liver pills."

That... whatever-it-is... is missing a key part of a sentence somewhere. Or something. It's making my ten-minutes-to-going-home-time brain hurt.

I've heard "busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" all.my.life.

Or "busier than a one-legged dog with fleas." Which still doesn't make very much sense because a dog generally sits down and scratches with one leg anyway... I suppose it could only get to one side.

MY question then becomes... how the FUCK does that dog even stand up?!

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

lolo883 said:

CaitTDid23 said:

lolo883 said:

My dad also says "well I'll be go to hell" and IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Plus "busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger" and "I've got more problems than Carter's got liver pills."

That... whatever-it-is... is missing a key part of a sentence somewhere. Or something. It's making my ten-minutes-to-going-home-time brain hurt.

I've heard "busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" all.my.life.

Or "busier than a one-legged dog with fleas." Which still doesn't make very much sense because a dog generally sits down and scratches with one leg anyway... I suppose it could only get to one side.

MY question then becomes... how the FUCK does that dog even stand up?!

LOL... maybe it's 3-legged dog. IDK. I don't use it.

VulgarGirl · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

MagicInk said:

My personal favorite "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya" and my grandma always says "Stick with me kid and I'll have you farting through silk",which...what does that even mean? Is silk really hard to fart through?

Right? She says as like "I'll teach you how to do things in life" but like...what? In what circumstance am I struggling with farting through silk?

SPINOFF FROM PET PEEVE: What's your weirdest idiom???

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