NWR: Things People Say

levioosa · September 2014

So I'm buying groceries and the cashier looks at my stuff and says, "Oh, are you entertaining A MAN tonight???"

I'm not sure how you got that from chicken, thyme, veggies and fingerling potatoes, but okay. Calm down there. It happens that I am making dinner for M's birthday, but I also enjoy chicken pot pie solo.

And then, "Men LOVE a hearty meal."

Girl, I love me some hearty thick meals too. Give me some cheesy potato soup and biscuits and I'm in heaven.

Then, "I always make a hearty meal when I have a man over."

......Good for you?

What weird things have people said to you lately?

SJM7538 · September 2014

Hahaha this made me laugh so hard bc H is making ME a hearty meal right now.

I was at the grocery store a few weeks ago and tue cashier picks up my spaghetti squash and asparagus as to check me out. She looks at
Me dumbfounded and says "ummm what are these? "

I wanted to face palm right there

lurkergirl · September 2014

We went with our friends, Jack and Diane, to Jack's family's farm this weekend. Jack's dad Jerkface was also there.

First night, Jack and FI are out romping in the mud.So, it's Jerkface, Diane, and me at the house (awkward, but whatever). Jerkface says to Diane, "I'm hungry. Why are you still out here? Get in the kitchen and cook."

We were all drinking heavily, and I wasn't sure if he was joking and I wasn't getting it or what. I went inside to cook with her and was like, "WHAT THE FUCK???!!!" She assured me he was joking. Okay, inappropriate, but whatever.

FI gets back and I tell him. He thinks I am drunk and overreacting. Dinner ends. Jerkface says, "Well, I'm glad we have the women here because I'm not cleaning." OH HELL NO MUTHAFUCKA!

I go outside and continue drinking.

Wake up in the morning, and Jerkface cooks us a big breakfast and cleans up. Okay, so maybe I was drunk and crazy.

Night 2. Same. fucking. shit. as night one. I go play with my dog and refuse to participate in the sexism. (And the thing is, I love to cook and am happy to help clean when I'm a guest, but don't demand that shit!)

Again, FI wasn't around when everything was said. But, on his own, he went in and helped prepare supper and clean up after. It was a good example of actions speaking louder than words. Like, yes, you can cook and clean and your balls will not turn to stone and fall off.

Needless to say, we don't plan to return to the farm if Jerkface is present.

beethery · September 2014

Maybe this is her first job outside of the prison or something.

wandajune6 · September 2014

I took FSS for tacos the other night and got comments. I go to the restaurant with FI fairly regularly but FSS rarely goes with us. I was asked about FI which I'm ok with. I even got teased about my order (chips, guac, and an XL side of the spicy pickled veggies I love so much)- an odd order that I blame on crazy hormones. FSS places his order at which point the comments ensue:

"Why would you want a torta plain?" He basically just ordered a bun with some fried beef. I don't see the point either- no veggies, refried beans, salsa, cheese, crema, or spicy goodness.

"Can I get you sauce for the side?" Nope. He doesn't like it.

Which devolved into "what kind of Mexican doesn't like Mexican food?"

Yup, she went there. She started teasing my Mexican FSS about not being Mexican enough because he won't eat anything spicy. She even goes so far as to point out that I got something spicy (I'm usually the only white person in the place).

He laughed like he thought it was funny but he was clearly upset. She got a much smaller tip than usual.

larrygaga · September 2014

Talking with a client who was married to a doctor that I actually work with.

"We have to wait for Dr. ____ before I make this decision"

Well, first, he can't make that decision for you. Legally, she is the only person who can make the decision. Second, do you always call your husband by his title and last name? Even in bed?

I think she said it to put me in my place. Her husband is a real sweetheart, IDK wtf she's about.

Newsflash: Being a doctor or being married to a doctor does not make you better than anyone else. I will treat you the exact same way I treat homeless people. With respect.

slothiegal · September 2014

Time2strtliving said:

So I'm buying groceries and the cashier looks at my stuff and says, "Oh, are you entertaining A MAN tonight???"

I'm not sure how you got that from chicken, thyme, veggies and fingerling potatoes, but okay. Calm down there. It happens that I am making dinner for M's birthday, but I also enjoy chicken pot pie solo.

And then, "Men LOVE a hearty meal."

Girl, I love me some hearty thick meals too. Give me some cheesy potato soup and biscuits and I'm in heaven.

Then, "I always make a hearty meal when I have a man over."

......Good for you?

What weird things have people said to you lately?

Who the fuck says that?

When BFF and I were back in college, we went to Chiptole (obviously) one night for dinner. She was behind me, and when I got to the register, I told the cashier that we were together and handed my credit card over for both meals.

Douchecanoe McGee raises his eyebrows and goes, "Oh, together?" I naively said, "Uhhh yeah, why?" He laughs and goes, "Oh I know what THAT means, I know what you two are doing later....wish I could see it," accompanied by a wink. I was so taken aback, I just grabbed our food, paid and left.

I later ended up writing a letter to the manager (this was back before you just tweeted a company to complain about jagoffs), who asked if we were offended because we were in fact a lesbian couple. I told him that maybe we were, maybe we weren't, what the FUCK did it matter; we were just two people trying to get a god damn burrito bowl and gee, don't you think the local news channel might be interested in this?

Long story short, we got lots of free stuff from Chipotle and I never saw the cashier working there again.

lurkergirl · September 2014

wandajune6 said:

I took FSS for tacos the other night and got comments. I go to the restaurant with FI fairly regularly but FSS rarely goes with us. I was asked about FI which I'm ok with. I even got teased about my order (chips, guac, and an XL side of the spicy pickled veggies I love so much)- an odd order that I blame on crazy hormones. FSS places his order at which point the comments ensue:

"Why would you want a torta plain?" He basically just ordered a bun with some fried beef. I don't see the point either- no veggies, refried beans, salsa, cheese, crema, or spicy goodness.

"Can I get you sauce for the side?" Nope. He doesn't like it.

Which devolved into "what kind of Mexican doesn't like Mexican food?"

Yup, she went there. She started teasing my Mexican FSS about not being Mexican enough because he won't eat anything spicy. She even goes so far as to point out that I got something spicy (I'm usually the only white person in the place).

He laughed like he thought it was funny but he was clearly upset. She got a much smaller tip than usual.

What the hell is wrong with people??!

I should confess...I once made an accidentally racist comment to a couple of my regulars when I was a server. It was a black couple who always came in late night, requested me, and left 30% tips every time. After that, they never returned. It was truly innocent, and when I told my black bouncer (who had introduced me to a term that I didn't realize was a "black" word), he got a HUGE kick out of it and explained the meaning behind the word. I really felt awful that these two people think I'm some ignorant white bitch

levioosa · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

Hahaha this made me laugh so hard bc H is making ME a hearty meal right now. I was at the grocery store a few weeks ago and tue cashier picks up my spaghetti squash and asparagus as to check me out. She looks at Me dumbfounded and says "ummm what are these? " I wanted to face palm right there

Oh man, it's one thing if you don't work at a grocery store....but these are a) common veggies, and b) you friggin' work there! I mean, I could understand if it was some weird vegetable like a daikon, but asparagus? Really?

@lurkergirl, that would have pissed me off so much. I would have done the same thing.

@wandajune6 I joke about being Italian and hating salami, but it's totally different when I'm making myself versus someone telling me my ethnicity dictates I love something. Ew.

@beethery, that made me LOL. She sounded EXACTLY like that.

SJM7538 · September 2014

Ohhh I have another one. I was walking my dog (long hair dachsund) last week and my neighbor says to me "are you walking you're cat?"

Now she is elderly and she was kind of far away.
But just prior to her saying it he barked at her.

SBmini · September 2014

The barista at the local coffee shop was wearing a crown today. Not a paper crown or a plastic crown from the store- but a legitimate vintage crown made of fabric with gems and rhinestones sewn on. When I asked what the occasion was she said, "It's my birthday week!" Sweetheart, you are a little old to wear a crown for an entire week just because you are a year older.

lurkergirl · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

Ohhh I have another one. I was walking my dog (long hair dachsund) last week and my neighbor says to me "are you walking you're cat?" Now she is elderly and she was kind of far away. But just prior to her saying it he barked at her.

**STUCK**

Hahaha. FI's parents' neighbor have this dog--I don't even know what it is, but it must not weight more than 5 lbs. It's super itty bitty, teeny weenie. FI and I were outside one day and saw the dog out with its owner. FI says, "Hey, you're cat's off its leash." He knew it was dog and thought he was being funny.

A few months later the lady's husband totally called him out on it. As in, "Hey, you're LurkerFI, the one who called my dog a cat." Awkward silence and staring at the ground all around.

SJM7538 · September 2014

@lurkergirl‌ my guess is that your neighbor as a mini Doxie bc ours weighs in at 18 lbs. but still hilarious. If she was joking I would've laughed but she was dead serious.

Actually when it's dark he looks like a skunk bc he's long and short and kind of waddles through the yard.

Next time you see your neighbor say "hey how's your wiener?" And see what he says lol

SJM7538 · September 2014

@SBmini‌ did you ask her if she just turned 7 years old ?

theartistformerlyknownas · September 2014

My bridesmaid told me "I'm so glad you're getting married so I don't have to listen to you complain about how awful guys are anymore." At my bachelorette party. Gee thanks. Aside from one miserable bout of depression I'm not even generally a complainer. :-/

lurkergirl · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

@lurkergirl‌ my guess is that your neighbor as a mini Doxie bc ours weighs in at 18 lbs. but still hilarious. If she was joking I would've laughed but she was dead serious. Actually when it's dark he looks like a skunk bc he's long and short and kind of waddles through the yard. Next time you see your neighbor say "hey how's your wiener?" And see what he says lol

I wasn't kidding about the 5lbs--I think it's a teacup chihuahua.

Love doxies though, and now I need to find one in my life so I can use that line, hahaha!

SJM7538 · September 2014

@lurkergirl‌ when you said "this" dog I thought you meant they had a Doxie. Lol

H ask me all the time if I want to cuddle with his "wiener". He thinks he's clever. Add that to my
List of crap people say

alpacalunch · September 2014

Time2strtliving said:

So I'm buying groceries and the cashier looks at my stuff and says, "Oh, are you entertaining A MAN tonight???"

I'm not sure how you got that from chicken, thyme, veggies and fingerling potatoes, but okay. Calm down there. It happens that I am making dinner for M's birthday, but I also enjoy chicken pot pie solo.

And then, "Men LOVE a hearty meal."

Girl, I love me some hearty thick meals too. Give me some cheesy potato soup and biscuits and I'm in heaven.

Then, "I always make a hearty meal when I have a man over."

......Good for you?

What weird things have people said to you lately?

People are the worst.

Ugh. I had the opposite sexism today. I was getting the windshield replaced on the car, and the guy I was dealing with kept calling me 'dear'. Bro, you're obviously younger than me so this isn't a generational thing. Also, highly inappropriate for a business transaction.

I got so annoyed, I ended the with "thanks, sweetheart" and left.

lurkergirl · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

@lurkergirl‌ when you said "this" dog I thought you meant they had a Doxie. Lol H ask me all the time if I want to cuddle with his "wiener". He thinks he's clever. Add that to my List of crap people say

*SITDB*
Haha, that is so something my FI would say. We also think "Your mom" is a funny answer to any question.

Him: Where are you going?
Me: Your mom's house.
Him: That was a dumb movie.
Me: Your mom's a dumb movie.

We are dorks.

levioosa · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

Ohhh I have another one. I was walking my dog (long hair dachsund) last week and my neighbor says to me "are you walking you're cat?" Now she is elderly and she was kind of far away. But just prior to her saying it he barked at her.

So.....embarrassing moment time....I kind of did the same thing once. I had been drinking, and I didn't have my glasses on, and I went outside and thought I saw my neighbor's dog running across the street, so I went over and knocked on their door to let them know. The husband answered and replied, "Um....that's our CAT." Aca-awkwardddd.
Turns out their dog was out though, so joke's on them? haha

raissyrais · September 2014

Wanker: You look like Jasmine from Aladdin you know that?

Me (not impressed): Yeah.

Wanker: Well baby, you can ride this magic carpet anytime! (frantically pointing at his crotch).

Also, I'm from an obscure little island somewhere and I'm quite mixed so people never really know where I'm from and always assume I'm from somewhere. So this is what bothers me the most:

Asshole: So where you from?

Me: From here.

Asshole: I mean where are you REALLY from?

Me: From here.

Asshole: Like, where are your parents from?

Me: From here.

Asshole: But where are you HISTORICALLY from?

This is where I flip most of the time. I also almost spit in people's faces when they say: "Oh! Oh! Let me guess where you're from! India? Middle East? South America? Italy? Somewhere Mediterranean?" And this is where I say :"How about you shut the fuck up and I tell you instead of you guessing like a lost moron?"

SJM7538 · September 2014

lurkergirl said:

SJM7538 said:

@lurkergirl‌ when you said "this" dog I thought you meant they had a Doxie. Lol

H ask me all the time if I want to cuddle with his "wiener". He thinks he's clever. Add that to my
List of crap people say

*SITDB*
Haha, that is so something my FI would say. We also think "Your mom" is a funny answer to any question.

Him: Where are you going?
Me: Your mom's house.
Him: That was a dumb movie.
Me: Your mom's a dumb movie.

We are dorks.

Hahaha omg are we the same person. Yesterday:

H: I'm running out
Me: where to?
H: your moms.

lurkergirl · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

SJM7538 said:

@lurkergirl‌ when you said "this" dog I thought you meant they had a Doxie. Lol H ask me all the time if I want to cuddle with his "wiener". He thinks he's clever. Add that to my List of crap people say

*SITDB*
Haha, that is so something my FI would say. We also think "Your mom" is a funny answer to any question.

Him: Where are you going?
Me: Your mom's house.
Him: That was a dumb movie.
Me: Your mom's a dumb movie.

We are dorks.

Hahaha omg are we the same person. Yesterday: H: I'm running out Me: where to? H: your moms.

Hahahahah, I love it!!

Obviously FI has been lying about working out of town the past few months. Clearly he's sneaking over to your house and living a double life.

gladyscf · September 2014

I was just making the bed in the spare room. FI walks in and asked if I washed them first. "Nope. I figured I'd just take them off and put them back on again." He called me a smartass. ETA: Who needs paragraphs?

chibiyui · September 2014

I had two customers today describe one of my coworkers that wasn't there today as "pregnant" and "heavy set", when I asked them who they were working with.

I am almost exactly the same size as this coworker, who is not heavy set, nor pregnant.

FutureMrsN3312 · September 2014

I went to get gas the other night and was thrilled to have an English speaking attendant. Until he asked me if I was into vampires and if my eyeballs were real. My tank couldn't fill fast enough...

Ndelible · September 2014

I had two special clients tell me, separately, within 20 minutes of each other that, "they didn't want to make a big deal" out of these issues that they brought up, have literally called and yelled at me (one client, am sure she was drunk or something) or sent emails (several) about. I'm trying to get what the heck they want, but are "astounded" that so many people are checking things out, asking questions and generally chasing our tails around because they are nuts.

I felt like saying, "it's a big deal because you made it a big deal. If you didn't, we wouldn't waste our time".

Literally, more man hours have been spent on these "requests" than worth it. I wanted to slap both of them.

lurkergirl · September 2014

FutureMrsN3312 said:

I went to get gas the other night and was thrilled to have an English speaking attendant. Until he asked me if I was into vampires and if my eyeballs were real. My tank couldn't fill fast enough...

lovesclimbing · September 2014

In college, I had a meal plan my first semester. And it was typical gross college cafeteria food. Toward the end of the week, I had to pick through the salad browns to find the salad greens. Well, that serving area was next to another serving area with a server who always tried to chat me up, and I always had to stand there forever to find decent lettuce in the salad bowl. Well once, he says "Did it hurt?"

Me: "Huh?"

Him: "When you fell from heaven."

Me: *stares daggers*

Him: "Oh, hehe, that's an old one, hehe."

Me: *continues to glare*

wandajune6 · September 2014

SJM7538 said:

lurkergirl said:

SJM7538 said:

@lurkergirl‌ when you said "this" dog I thought you meant they had a Doxie. Lol

H ask me all the time if I want to cuddle with his "wiener". He thinks he's clever. Add that to my
List of crap people say

*SITDB*
Haha, that is so something my FI would say. We also think "Your mom" is a funny answer to any question.

Him: Where are you going?
Me: Your mom's house.
Him: That was a dumb movie.
Me: Your mom's a dumb movie.

We are dorks.

Hahaha omg are we the same person. Yesterday:

H: I'm running out
Me: where to?
H: your moms.

FI is full of "your mama" jokes. They get old. It's ok because he loved my mama!

beharrington · September 2014

lovesclimbing said:

In college, I had a meal plan my first semester. And it was typical gross college cafeteria food. Toward the end of the week, I had to pick through the salad browns to find the salad greens. Well, that serving area was next to another serving area with a server who always tried to chat me up, and I always had to stand there forever to find decent lettuce in the salad bowl. Well once, he says "Did it hurt?"
Me: "Huh?"
Him: "When you fell from heaven."
Me: *stares daggers*
Him: "Oh, hehe, that's an old one, hehe."
Me: *continues to glare*

This happened to me in a bar in New Orleans (went to college there). My roommate was from an all-girls high school and she had no idea we were being hit on. Ours went:

Him: Did it hurt?

Me: Go away.

Her: Did what hurt?

Me: Please ignore him.

Her: No, did what hurt?

Him: When you fell from heaven.

Me: I said go away now.

Her: But that's so cute.

Me: Oldest pickup line ever.

Her: He's so nice.

Him: Yeah, I am.

Me: Please go away.

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