Would you side-eye this event?

AprilH81 · September 2014

stilldo0318 said:

Thank you for your feedback, everyone! I appreciate it. Glad to know a white, non-wedding dress isn't a big violation :-) Many of the dresses I prefer are actually sold and marketed as bridesmaid dresses, and just happen to be available in white among the other colors. Spending $150 on the dress instead of thousands for some monstrosity that makes me look like a desperate marshmallow suits me just fine. More money for food, booze and music!

As for the spotlight dances, I guess I just wouldn't know how to do one right for the occasion, since it seems odd to have us dance the "first dance since we hit 15 years" or whatever it would be. Also, I don't want my guests to wait around while we dance; I want EVERYONE to dance and enjoy.

As for the cake, here's where I'm confused. In other celebrations the cake cutting is always done, but it's more of an informal, "time to cut the cake" type thing. "Having a cake cutting," to me anyways, conjures images of my husband and me posing cheesily with an engraved cake server with the date on it, cutting it, then feeding each other bits of cake. That's why I said I wasn't doing it. It's super wedding-ish, and I don't even think I'd want to have done it at my wedding (if I had a reception) because it would feel forced. Is there a difference between "cutting the cake" and "having a cake-cutting"? Someone said above that it is the cake, and the fact that it is not a "wedding cake" that makes the difference. Are there specific characteristics that make a wedding cake a wedding cake (absent any plastic bride-groom combo on top)?

I honestly haven't gotten far enough into planning to determine what the anniversary cake should look like, I just know I want it to be plenty of cake for everyone! I want everyone to have a great time and leave with full bellies and sore feet from dancing so much.

Personally I wouldn't feed each other cake, but cutting the cake together wouldn't be a big deal to me. And if you don't want to no need to do it...

It also doesn't have to be an "EVENT". You and your husband can go cut the cake together and if anyone sees it great, if no one does they will figure it out when they have cake in front of them.

MairePoppy · September 2014

Cake is cake. I've attended anniversary parties that had traditional, multi-tiered, white cake with flowers and plastic bride and groom topper from the original wedding cake. I appreciated the sentiment. I don't object to the ceremonial cake cutting and feeding, as long as I get a slice, not a sliver, of delicious cake : )

daria24 · September 2014

My family also has a ceremonial cake cutting for any event that involves cake (and LBH, they all involve cake). Just a photo of the guest(s) of honor with the cake and cutting the first slice. No feeding or anything like that. I think it's nice, and I want a picture of the pretty cake before it gets destroyed.

Most 25th/50th Anniversary parties I've been to also have a spotlight dance, the couple dances to their wedding song (or song of their choosing) and usually after a minute the DJ announces for others to join in (or you just tell a few select people ahead of time "hey, after the first verse, come and join in so other's get the hint). I think it's sweet. And I am a pretty judgy person.

Senecaf · September 2014

I think it sounds lovely. You and could still dance together. Pick a song. The dj can say something like "to open the dance floor Jane and John will be dancing to_______. They invite you to join them" that last sentence works well if you don't want it to be a spotlight kind of thing but it is still special.
And cut the cake together if you want. You don't have to feed it to eachother. A tiered cake is completely aacceptable in my opinion.

Congrats on your anniversary!

KatieinBkln · September 2014

Nothing to add here, just wanted to say congratulations on your upcoming anniversary, and that your vow renewal sounds lovely!

PrettyGirlLost · September 2014

Congrats on your anniversary and thank you both for your service.

Your party sounds beautiful and fun!

abbyj700 · September 2014

Party sounds great! Here's to another 15 years for you and yours!

wrigleyville · September 2014

lol @ "desperate marshmallow"

My aunt and uncle had a large sheet cake for their vow renewal. Their wedding cake topper was sitting on the table, sort of near the top left corner of the cake.

I wouldn't side-eye a tiered cake, though, since you can have a tiered cake for any occasion. I've seen tiered cakes at birthday parties.

You could put a crystal "15" on top of it instead of a wedding topper. They do make anniversary toppers; maybe Etsy would have some?

Speaking of crystal, I think that's going to look very pretty.

After your party, you should definitely come back to this thread and post pictures.

beethery · September 2014

stilldo0318 said:

Thank you for your feedback, everyone! I appreciate it. Glad to know a white, non-wedding dress isn't a big violation :-) Many of the dresses I prefer are actually sold and marketed as bridesmaid dresses, and just happen to be available in white among the other colors. Spending $150 on the dress instead of thousands for some monstrosity that makes me look like a desperate marshmallow suits me just fine. More money for food, booze and music!

As for the spotlight dances, I guess I just wouldn't know how to do one right for the occasion, since it seems odd to have us dance the "first dance since we hit 15 years" or whatever it would be. Also, I don't want my guests to wait around while we dance; I want EVERYONE to dance and enjoy.

As for the cake, here's where I'm confused. In other celebrations the cake cutting is always done, but it's more of an informal, "time to cut the cake" type thing. "Having a cake cutting," to me anyways, conjures images of my husband and me posing cheesily with an engraved cake server with the date on it, cutting it, then feeding each other bits of cake. That's why I said I wasn't doing it. It's super wedding-ish, and I don't even think I'd want to have done it at my wedding (if I had a reception) because it would feel forced. Is there a difference between "cutting the cake" and "having a cake-cutting"? Someone said above that it is the cake, and the fact that it is not a "wedding cake" that makes the difference. Are there specific characteristics that make a wedding cake a wedding cake (absent any plastic bride-groom combo on top)?

I honestly haven't gotten far enough into planning to determine what the anniversary cake should look like, I just know I want it to be plenty of cake for everyone! I want everyone to have a great time and leave with full bellies and sore feet from dancing so much.

Between that statement and how you are going about everything, you are fantastic.

koriemo · September 2014

I think a fun "spotlight" dance would be for the DJ to invite all couples who had been married at least 15 years to come up and dance.

sophhabobopha · September 2014

This thread makes my heart happy. Party on!

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

stilldo0318, my parents had a vow renewal for their 25th wedding anniversary, and it was AWESOME. My brother, sister, and I were all involved in it (as you mentioned that your children will stand by your sides for this). My brother and I read the scripture passages that were originally read at my parents' wedding, and my sister read some general prayer intentions (we're Catholic). Mom wore a light blue dress and had a bouquet of daisies (her flower when they got married). Dad wore a nice suit with a light blue tie.

Regarding cake, after the vow renewal, we had everyone over at our house for desserts. We had everything from cannollis to chocolate cake. I wouldn't think of anything as a "wedding cake" that had tiers. Even still, some tiered wedding cakes nowadays are plain enough that it's not really obnoxious.

downtondiva · September 2014

You are totally fine. Congrats on your anniversary and have fun.

Lizzieyounce · September 2014

This sounds perfectly lovely to me, and I'd be honored to be a guest at this event if I were invited!

Enjoy and congratulations!

lovesclimbing · September 2014

stilldo0318 said:
Thank you for your feedback, everyone! I appreciate it. Glad to know a white, non-wedding dress isn't a big violation :-) Many of the dresses I prefer are actually sold and marketed as bridesmaid dresses, and just happen to be available in white among the other colors. Spending $150 on the dress instead of thousands for some monstrosity that makes me look like a desperate marshmallow suits me just fine. More money for food, booze and music!

As for the spotlight dances, I guess I just wouldn't know how to do one right for the occasion, since it seems odd to have us dance the "first dance since we hit 15 years" or whatever it would be. Also, I don't want my guests to wait around while we dance; I want EVERYONE to dance and enjoy.

As for the cake, here's where I'm confused. In other celebrations the cake cutting is always done, but it's more of an informal, "time to cut the cake" type thing. "Having a cake cutting," to me anyways, conjures images of my husband and me posing cheesily with an engraved cake server with the date on it, cutting it, then feeding each other bits of cake. That's why I said I wasn't doing it. It's super wedding-ish, and I don't even think I'd want to have done it at my wedding (if I had a reception) because it would feel forced. Is there a difference between "cutting the cake" and "having a cake-cutting"? Someone said above that it is the cake, and the fact that it is not a "wedding cake" that makes the difference. Are there specific characteristics that make a wedding cake a wedding cake (absent any plastic bride-groom combo on top)?

I honestly haven't gotten far enough into planning to determine what the anniversary cake should look like, I just know I want it to be plenty of cake for everyone! I want everyone to have a great time and leave with full bellies and sore feet from dancing so much.

Well, if you don't want a spotlight dance or formal cake cutting, you don't have to. I think PPs are just saying if you wanted it and were choosing not to have it for the sole reason of it being PPDish, they wouldn't side eye it and go ahead

But if you don't like the idea of either of those things, feel free to forego them.

Jen4948 · September 2014

It'll be beautiful. Congratulations!

I wish I were invited. ;-)

kmmssg · September 2014

MairePoppy said:

Cake is cake. I've attended anniversary parties that had traditional, multi-tiered, white cake with flowers and plastic bride and groom topper from the original wedding cake. I appreciated the sentiment. I don't object to the ceremonial cake cutting and feeding, as long as I get a slice, not a sliver, of delicious cake : )

Amen to the bolded @MairePoppy .

Also, desperate marshmallow will not be a part of my permanent vocabulary. That is awesome. congrats and happy planning OP!

stilldo0318 · September 2014

koriemo said:
I think a fun "spotlight" dance would be for the DJ to invite all couples who had been married at least 15 years to come up and dance.

This is a lovely idea. Thank you.

Thank you everyone for all your ideas and encouragement. Now comes planning!!!

LabLove86 · September 2014

Sounds awesome to me! I Love going to vow-renewals because it usually means (PPD's aside) the couple has been together for a while, or been through some shit together - and want to celebrate! And I love that!

Would you side-eye this event?

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