Creating a wedding registry after already living together?

finallyhismrs · September 2014

Would it poor etiquette of me to make a wedding registry since we have been living together for 5 years already and have 4 children? A few friends said I should, but I can't help but question it. I don't want people to be talking about us behind our back for such things.

TIA!

misshart00 · September 2014

I think it's fine. You're still getting married. I would make sure not to register for stuff for your kids though.

short+sassy · September 2014

It is perfectly fine to create a wedding registry, regardless of how long you all have been together...living situation...or children. I guarantee you, people will still want to give you gifts and a registry is helpful for that.

Of course, with that said, you would only tell people where you are registered IF/WHEN they ask. If you have a wedding website, that information can also be listed there.

My DH and I had been living together for over 10 years when we got married. Most of our guests gave us a card with cash inside, but a few gave us gifts of our registry.

melbenso · September 2014

DH and I lived together for a little over 4 years when we got married. We created a small registry of items that we wanted to upgrade. I did, however, decline the shower offers that I got, as showers are gift giving occasions and there weren't many physical gifts that we needed. We did get some items from our registry, but about 90-95% of our gifts were cash, checks, or gift cards.

RebeccaFlower · September 2014

Do you actually need or want physical items? If so, then it's fine. I would be very careful about what you register for though. They should be home items, not for children like a birthday wishlist.

finallyhismrs · September 2014

short+sassy said:

It is perfectly fine to create a wedding registry, regardless of how long you all have been together...living situation...or children. I guarantee you, people will still want to give you gifts and a registry is helpful for that.

Of course, with that said, you would only tell people where you are registered IF/WHEN they ask. If you have a wedding website, that information can also be listed there.

My DH and I had been living together for over 10 years when we got married. Most of our guests gave us a card with cash inside, but a few gave us gifts of our registry.

So I shouldn't add it to the save the date/wedding invites?

MegEn1 · September 2014

FI and I moved in together after we got engaged, but you'd be amazed at the kind of stuff we find we need. Like a food processor, or a set of steak knives. Cohabitation does not mean that you have everything to start a life together!

MegEn1 · September 2014

finallyhismrs said:

show previous quotes

short+sassy said:

It is perfectly fine to create a wedding registry, regardless of how long you all have been together...living situation...or children. I guarantee you, people will still want to give you gifts and a registry is helpful for that.

Of course, with that said, you would only tell people where you are registered IF/WHEN they ask. If you have a wedding website, that information can also be listed there.

My DH and I had been living together for over 10 years when we got married. Most of our guests gave us a card with cash inside, but a few gave us gifts of our registry.

So I shouldn't add it to the save the date/wedding invites?

Also no, registry information does NOT go on invites or STDs. Wedding website only. There's lots of ways to find registries online for those who are looking. It's never been easier, there's no reason to put it on the invites and look gift-grabby.

finallyhismrs · September 2014

MegEn1 said:

show previous quotes

finallyhismrs said:

short+sassy said:

It is perfectly fine to create a wedding registry, regardless of how long you all have been together...living situation...or children. I guarantee you, people will still want to give you gifts and a registry is helpful for that.

Of course, with that said, you would only tell people where you are registered IF/WHEN they ask. If you have a wedding website, that information can also be listed there.

My DH and I had been living together for over 10 years when we got married. Most of our guests gave us a card with cash inside, but a few gave us gifts of our registry.

So I shouldn't add it to the save the date/wedding invites?

Also no, registry information does NOT go on invites or STDs. Wedding website only. There's lots of ways to find registries online for those who are looking. It's never been easier, there's no reason to put it on the invites and look gift-grabby.

Ok, but the wedding website could go on it? Would my TK account be a "wedding website"?

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

1) A registry is fine. H and I lived together for 2.5 years and bought a house before we were married. We had a hodge podge of dishes, linens, silverware etc. So we registered for stuff like that.

2) Wedding registries are for items for you/your groom and your home. Its not cool to put children's things on there. Not saying you would but you said you didn't want people to talk.. That would definitely have ppl talking.

3) Registry info doesn't go on wedding invitations. Yes, its fine to include your website on your invites.

finallyhismrs · September 2014

No, it would never cross my mind to put kids items on my registry list!

luckya23 · September 2014

finallyhismrs said:

show previous quotes

MegEn1 said:

finallyhismrs said:

short+sassy said:

It is perfectly fine to create a wedding registry, regardless of how long you all have been together...living situation...or children. I guarantee you, people will still want to give you gifts and a registry is helpful for that.

Of course, with that said, you would only tell people where you are registered IF/WHEN they ask. If you have a wedding website, that information can also be listed there.

My DH and I had been living together for over 10 years when we got married. Most of our guests gave us a card with cash inside, but a few gave us gifts of our registry.

So I shouldn't add it to the save the date/wedding invites?

Also no, registry information does NOT go on invites or STDs. Wedding website only. There's lots of ways to find registries online for those who are looking. It's never been easier, there's no reason to put it on the invites and look gift-grabby.

Ok, but the wedding website could go on it? Would my TK account be a "wedding website"?

You can make a website through The Knot, but it isn't connected to your user name, it's separate.
When you are on here, if you look in the upper left, there's a link with a heart that says "My Knot" and if you hover over that, one of the options is "My Website" so you can build it there and then make it public so people can search for you, or you can password protect it.

I think it's fine to put a link to the website on your save the dates.

Ndelible · September 2014

To avert the household issue with the shower, my MOH is throwing me a lingerie shower. That's cool cause I don't have any good stuff and a girl can always use foundation garments.

mrsmagicgeek · September 2014

Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I believe it's OK to put things like board games on the registry... things you would use together, even if you might also use them as a family.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

My husband and I lived on our own each for 10+ years & then lived together for about 1 year before getting married. Did we need anything, not really. But we registered for things that needed to be updated due to condition. Also we registered for things that we would normally never treat ourselves too like a rechargable wine bottle opener, wine fridge, yard games & some other stuff. @foundmymagicgeek, we did register for board games because we didn't have many and in the winter our friends and us had started to do monthly game nights as a fun but inexpensive way to hang out. We were getting tired of the same games each month.

I think it's smart to register & put it on your wedding website. This way if people want to buy you a physical gift, more then likely they'll refer to your registery and you'll get something at least that you wanted and can use. Plus you never know if someone close to you, even co-workers, might want to have a shower for you and registering would be helpful for that too.

cupcait927 · September 2014

FI and I have lived together for a year and a half and we created a registry. It's not a huge registry and it's mostly kitchen items. We both came into the relationship with odds and ends and definitely needed to upgrade a lot of things. So yes, you can certainly create a registry even if you've been living together.

misshart00 · September 2014

foundmymagicgeek said:
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I believe it's OK to put things like board games on the registry... things you would use together, even if you might also use them as a family.

Yeah, I think that's fine. But I wouldn't put like twin sheets and toys on there.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

photokitty · September 2014

misshart00 said:

show previous quotes
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I believe it's OK to put things like board games on the registry... things you would use together, even if you might also use them as a family.
Yeah, I think that's fine. But I wouldn't put like twin sheets and toys on there.

I don't always understand this mindset. If a couple has a guest room it is ok to put twin sheets, so I don't see why twin sheets would be an issue.

Now if you register for the "Frozen" sheet set I'm going to side eye it...even harder if you register for it in the King set!

(But maybe I should just "Let It Gooooooooooooooo")

Etiquette wise there is absolutely no issue with registering after living together and/or having children.

misshart00 · September 2014

photokitty said:
show previous quotes

misshart00 said:

foundmymagicgeek said:
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I believe it's OK to put things like board games on the registry... things you would use together, even if you might also use them as a family.
Yeah, I think that's fine. But I wouldn't put like twin sheets and toys on there.

I don't always understand this mindset. If a couple has a guest room it is ok to put twin sheets, so I don't see why twin sheets would be an issue.

Now if you register for the "Frozen" sheet set I'm going to side eye it...even harder if you register for it in the King set!

(But maybe I should just "Let It Gooooooooooooooo")

Etiquette wise there is absolutely no issue with registering after living together and/or having children.

I guess I see your point. I'm still a bit cranky after my cousins had Star Wars and batman sheets on their registry.

RebeccaB88 · September 2014

I would not side eye adult oriented games on a registry, but I would kids games. Like, Cards Against Humanity is fine, but not Candyland. Yard games like cornhole or badminton, that adults or kids would play works for me too. But an inflatable kiddie pool, not so much.*************effing paragraphs************** Your TK account isn't for anyone but you, it's not a public wedding website. You could build a website through this site if you wanted, but they tend to be glitchy and frustrating to work with. I'd do something like weebly instead. Some of the other ladies can recommend you who they used. It's ok to link your registry there. ******************************** Just start a running list as you think of or run across things that you either need, would like to have, or are wearing out. You'll find more things than you think you will to fill one up. Towels, pillows, table linens, and sheets wear out naturally. If you like to entertain, think of things that will help you do that, like the board games, chip and dip servers, glassware, platters. Fun stuff that you will use together and for parties and family - an ice cream maker, popcorn popper, fondue pot. Things that will brighten up your home - a candelabra, vase, framed print, nice shower curtain, or clock. It's ok to put a couple more expensive things on, that you might not be able to buy yourself, as long as the majority of gifts are more affordable - stand mixer, food processor, good vacuum cleaner, barbecue grill. People might go in together on those things. ******************** As long as you are not already married to each other, a registry is fine. It's your call on accepting a shower, though. Technically it's fine, but some people just aren't comfortable with it.

Ndelible · September 2014

We have two twin beds together as a convertible king, so the twin sheets are for us....

photokitty · September 2014

Ndelible said:
We have two twin beds together as a convertible king, so the twin sheets are for us....

So one set of transformer sheets for his side and set of Frozen for your side...no side eyeing allowed ;-)

Ndelible · September 2014

photokitty said:

show previous quotes
We have two twin beds together as a convertible king, so the twin sheets are for us....
So one set of transformer sheets for his side and set of Frozen for your side...no side eyeing allowed ;-)

Oh, Cinderelly for me all the way!

Ticker1999 · September 2014

We are having the same issue. We've been living together for two years and merged two households. So really, what do we need? Especially since my MOH, family, and sorority sisters are all about the shower(s). I created a registry on Amazon and on BB&B. BB&B was to upgrade things like wine glasses, sheets, and towels. Amazon was all the other fun stuff. Cards Against Humanity, Scrabble, Detroit Tigers stuff for the house, etc. What was really cool was adding things like memberships to museums and such via the Amazon Universal Wishlist button.

Knottie74335693 · September 2014

We created a registry with cash funds like "Honeymoon" or "Home Improvement" since we really had everything we needed for the house except upgrades on dated windows or appliances. Many resorts also offer excursions so your guests can also help you create your perfect honeymoon. Many other weddings I have attended have done this as well.

AprilH81 · September 2014

Knottie74335693 said:

We created a registry with cash funds like "Honeymoon" or "Home Improvement" since we really had everything we needed for the house except upgrades on dated windows or appliances. Many resorts also offer excursions so your guests can also help you create your perfect honeymoon. Many other weddings I have attended have done this as well.

Both of these are rude as hell.

beethery · September 2014

Knottie74335693 said:

We created a registry with cash funds like "Honeymoon" or "Home Improvement" since we really had everything we needed for the house except upgrades on dated windows or appliances. Many resorts also offer excursions so your guests can also help you create your perfect honeymoon. Many other weddings I have attended have done this as well.

Super, super rude to do to your guests. Asking for handouts, no ma'am.

(BTW this was in the newsletter today, if you couldn't tell by this answer)

JCbride2015 · September 2014

Knottie74335693 said:

We created a registry with cash funds like "Honeymoon" or "Home Improvement" since we really had everything we needed for the house except upgrades on dated windows or appliances. Many resorts also offer excursions so your guests can also help you create your perfect honeymoon. Many other weddings I have attended have done this as well.

Wow. This is incredibly rude.

LadyMatsi · October 2014

We are just adding small business cards in with the invites/rsvp/reception card that say where we are registered.

LadyMatsi · October 2014

finallyhismrs said:

short+sassy said:

It is perfectly fine to create a wedding registry, regardless of how long you all have been together...living situation...or children. I guarantee you, people will still want to give you gifts and a registry is helpful for that.

Of course, with that said, you would only tell people where you are registered IF/WHEN they ask. If you have a wedding website, that information can also be listed there.

My DH and I had been living together for over 10 years when we got married. Most of our guests gave us a card with cash inside, but a few gave us gifts of our registry.

So I shouldn't add it to the save the date/wedding invites?

We are just adding business type cards in with our invites/save the dates/RSVPs to say where we are registered.

Creating a wedding registry after already living together?

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