How much should be spent on an engagement ring?

finallyhismrs · September 2014

I have heard 3 months worth of pay. 25% of annual income. What is average?

Maggie0829 · September 2014

Whatever your SO feels comfortable spending/can afford. There is no rule or average. Everyone's financial situation is different.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

I second what Maggie said. Also I think it depends on taste and what type of stone you go for. I know my ring wasn't even the equivilant of one months salary for my husband, but it was the ring I fell in love with, so that is the one he got for me.

blabla89 · September 2014

finallyhismrs said:

I have heard 3 months worth of pay. 25% of annual income. What is average?

The three months' salary "rule" was created by the diamond industry back in the 1940's. This was feasible for soldiers returning home with months' worth of pay that they hadn't been spending while they were deployed, but it really makes no sense for most people today.

Ditto what Maggie said - whatever your SO is comfortable spending and is reasonable within their budget. I'm sure you could look up the "average" price of an e ring but that wouldn't tell you what's best for your individual situation.

CMGragain · September 2014

Engagement rings are optional. Many brides don't have them at all.

jenijoyk · September 2014

My fiance spent about 3 months salary and it was seriously unnecessary. I love my ring (obviously), but I know for a fact none of my close friends' fiances spent close to the same amount and we all make comparable salaries. No regrets on either of our parts, but I have a feeling he maybe wishes that he had asked the guys in our group how much they had spent before he went shopping. He went in with no context, and read the dumb 3-months salary rule somewhere I'm sure. Win for me, but not necessary. Forgo the 3-month rule unless you actually know how much that is, and you've looked at rings, and just happen to want and find appropriate a ring that costs that amount.

QueerFemme · September 2014

You can spend $100.00 or $20,000.00. It's totally up to you. I know people that have gotten engaged with a $50.00 ring. It doesn't make them any less engaged, or happy.

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

Yea, those "rules" were created by the people trying to sell you jewelry... They're fictional and should get nothing more than an eye roll.

The answer is different for every couple. Think about your lifestyle, your values, your personal style, etc... And then what really makes sense financially.

For example, DH and I like to travel, we're very active outdoors, and we're very conservative with our money. We pay cash for everything (except our house). And neither of us really cared to have fancy/big rock rings. So spending a bunch of money on a ring didn't make a lot of sense for us. We're very fortunate financially and I have a very nice set, but DH certainly didn't spend 25% of his annual salary on it!! Good lord! I would have had a heart attack.

CTYankeeBride · September 2014

From an article in the New York Times:

Couples paid an average of $4,000 on engagement rings in 2012 (and another $1,000 for her wedding band, and $500 for his), according to a 2013 report from Jewelers of America, a trade group, using data from a variety of jewelers. That is about 25 percent less than the average spent on engagement rings in 2006, or $5,317, before the economy collapsed, according to another report by the group. In 2011, couples spent $3,538 on average.

So while that speaks to averages, really the best advice is as pps suggested. The expense should be whatever FI (or you and FI, if you are purchasing this together) are comfortable with.
My e-ring for my first wedding was a family heirloom on the groom's side so while it cost him nothing out of pocket beyond a cleaning and sizing, I can't put a price tag on that kind of sentimental value.
My FI purchased an engagement ring without any input from me this time around and I have no idea what it cost. Three months salary is a comfortable expense for some people while for others it is not.

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

CTYankeeBride said:

From an article in the New York Times:
Couples paid an average of $4,000 on engagement rings in 2012 (and another $1,000 for her wedding band, and $500 for his), according to a 2013 report from Jewelers of America, a trade group, using data from a variety of jewelers. That is about 25 percent less than the average spent on engagement rings in 2006, or $5,317, before the economy collapsed, according to another report by the group. In 2011, couples spent $3,538 on average.

So while that speaks to averages, really the best advice is as pps suggested. The expense should be whatever FI (or you and FI, if you are purchasing this together) are comfortable with.

My e-ring for my first wedding was a family heirloom on the groom's side so while it cost him nothing out of pocket beyond a cleaning and sizing, I can't put a price tag on that kind of sentimental value.

My FI purchased an engagement ring without any input from me this time around and I have no idea what it cost. Three months salary is a comfortable expense for some people while for others it is not.

I also think it's worth noting here that this is only data from the Jewelry Industry.

It doesn't (I'm guessing) take into account heirloom engagement rings, engagement rings purchased at non-jeweler stores, or no ring at all - a couple just deciding they want to get married without the material aspect of an engagement ring.

weddingcactus · September 2014

Your significant other (or you both together) should set a budget and go from there. My FI set a budget that was comfortable for him and we shopped together, but some people prefer to be surprised. And there is no reason you have to purchase something at the top of the budget either. Consider styles and designs other than just a ring with the largest diamond possible. Consider alternate stones. There is no "should" or "expected" when it comes to engagement jewelry. And keep in mind that engagement jewelry is entirely optional. You can be just as engaged without a ring.

ohmrs2014 · September 2014

I agree with everyone else, whatever your SO can afford to spend.

jenna8984 · September 2014

Like everyone else said, whatever is in your personal household budget and whatever you like or want and can afford.

I would MURDER my fiance if he spent 3 months salary. He spent about 2 weeks of pre-tax salary, which if you take taxes, insurance, rent and other bills away from that money, it still took him 5 months to save up since he doesn't have much left after bills.

lurkergirl · September 2014

We spent what we could afford. If we spent 3 months of his salary, I would have a super fancy ring. But we didn't have that cash in the checking account, and the dream ring that I always wanted turned out to be perfectly in our cash budget!

I consider our savings to be for emergencies, so while he wanted to dip in and go with something bigger, I reminded him that ring is not an emergency. We also didn't want to finance--if I'm going to wear it, we want to own it.

CTYankeeBride · September 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

CTYankeeBride said:

From an article in the New York Times:
Couples paid an average of $4,000 on engagement rings in 2012 (and another $1,000 for her wedding band, and $500 for his), according to a 2013 report from Jewelers of America, a trade group, using data from a variety of jewelers. That is about 25 percent less than the average spent on engagement rings in 2006, or $5,317, before the economy collapsed, according to another report by the group. In 2011, couples spent $3,538 on average.

So while that speaks to averages, really the best advice is as pps suggested. The expense should be whatever FI (or you and FI, if you are purchasing this together) are comfortable with.

My e-ring for my first wedding was a family heirloom on the groom's side so while it cost him nothing out of pocket beyond a cleaning and sizing, I can't put a price tag on that kind of sentimental value.

My FI purchased an engagement ring without any input from me this time around and I have no idea what it cost. Three months salary is a comfortable expense for some people while for others it is not.

I also think it's worth noting here that this is only data from the Jewelry Industry. **Stuck in box** Absolutely- my first e-ring would not have been factored into a count that only took rings purchased from jewelers that year into account. Also I wonder if it accounts for non-traditional (read: not diamond) e-rings. If someone went in an purchased an emerald ring, for example, without stating it was for an engagement it wouldn't have been counted.

It doesn't (I'm guessing) take into account heirloom engagement rings, engagement rings purchased at non-jeweler stores, or no ring at all - a couple just deciding they want to get married without the material aspect of an engagement ring.

CTYankeeBride · September 2014

Okay, it isn't stuck in the box but it won't let me type outside of the box. Grr.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

Fi spent about two months' take home (post-tax etc.) salary on mine and while the ring is beautiful, I would have been thrilled just to be engaged. Ring or no ring. But he was adamant that the savings and picking the ring were all him. At least he paid cash, no financing.

caitlinmca · September 2014

FI was in the Army and when he was able to be honorably discharged he was able to take his money that he had earned from them with him I believe it was a 405k but don't quote me. We used part of that money to buy my ring as he already had another 405k set up and was doing okay. We looked at rings together and bought my e-ring and our bands together. My e-ring is a little over 2k but its a little more than a 1/2 carat round cut solitaire with a simple white gold band. I wanted 1 diamond and a plain band, simple but timeless. We paid $1,200 in cash then put the rest on our card.

AddieCake · September 2014

This question is absurd. There is no required amount someone "should" spend on an engagement ring.

LDay2014 · September 2014

You spend what you're comfortable with if you want a ring.

If FI had spent 3 mos salary on a bauble, I would have killed him. I don't need a freaking sedan on my finger. What I'd far rather have is financial stability and money in the bank.

emmyg65 · September 2014

My DH spent $0 on my engagement ring, because I didn't want one. For our wedding rings, we each decided how much we were comfortable spending (we bought them for each other) and went from there. Don't get sucked into diamond industry marketing.

finallyhismrs · September 2014

AddieCake said:

This question is absurd. There is no required amount someone "should" spend on an engagement ring.

Well you're just a delightful creature, aren't you?

JennyColada · September 2014

finallyhismrs said:

AddieCake said:

This question is absurd. There is no required amount someone "should" spend on an engagement ring.

Well you're just a delightful creature, aren't you?
---
I don't see the qualms with her statement. It's true.

Fi spent, I guess, 1.5 month's salary on mine. But we never thought of it in terms like that and just thought of it as "what do I want?" and "can we afford this?" I showed Fi what styles I liked and then he picked the metal and jewel (diamond) that he liked. He did end up getting a higher quality diamond than I expected because he said that he thought the difference was noticeable and he could afford or so he wanted to get what he thought was best.

I'll be honest, I kind of had always fantasied about pulling a Homer Simpson and using an onion ring.

lurkergirl · September 2014

finallyhismrs said:

AddieCake said:

This question is absurd. There is no required amount someone "should" spend on an engagement ring.

Well you're just a delightful creature, aren't you?

I find @AddieCake to be super fucking delightful. She makes valid points and is usually one of the first to stand up for a poster that she thinks is being treated unfairly.

What kind of cake are you planning to have?

lovesclimbing · September 2014

H paid about 1/3 - 1/2 months salary. Even that I thought was expensive when he finally told me!

AddieCake · September 2014

finallyhismrs said:

AddieCake said:

This question is absurd. There is no required amount someone "should" spend on an engagement ring.

Well you're just a delightful creature, aren't you?

Yes. Yes, I am. What do you want people to say? Do you honestly believe there is a standard amount a person is supposed to spend on an engagement ring? I remember seeing DeBeers ads saying 2 months salary like 20 years ago. It was an absurd concept then, and it's an absurd concept now.

finallyhismrs · September 2014

lurkergirl said:

finallyhismrs said:

AddieCake said:

This question is absurd. There is no required amount someone "should" spend on an engagement ring.

Well you're just a delightful creature, aren't you?

I find @AddieCake to be super fucking delightful. She makes valid points and is usually one of the first to stand up for a poster that she thinks is being treated unfairly.

What kind of cake are you planning to have?

Have not decided yet. The only reason for my comment was because this was the second thread of mine she said something that came off as abrasive. Sorry.

amelisha · September 2014

My ring cost him about a day's salary and I wouldn't have it any other way. We've hopefully got a long future ahead of us and we're huge into saving and financial management. We refuse to go into debt for any part of our wedding. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, you know?

JennyColada · September 2014

amelisha said:
We refuse to go into debt for any part of our wedding.

I hate when people say this. Plenty of people are able to spend chunks of money on anything involved with a wedding without going into debt. Not going into debt has less to do with an actual price tag and much more about just spending what you can afford. Whether that's $5 or $50000.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

JennyColada said:

We refuse to go into debt for any part of our wedding.
I hate when people say this. Plenty of people are able to spend chunks of money on anything involved with a wedding without going into debt. Not going into debt has less to do with an actual price tag and much more about just spending what you can afford. Whether that's $5 or $50000.

And it comes across as judgmental to me, too.

JennyColada · September 2014

@JCbride2015‌ , yep! It makes me seriously self conscious to discuss the price of my ring (on TK, I'm self conscious to discuss it irl for other reasons of course!), since it would be out of the realm of what many can afford, and it's really hurtful to hear that some think that Fi's idea of wanting to get me something lovely is "wasteful" or otherwise unnecessary.

How much should be spent on an engagement ring?

Re: How much should be spent on an engagement ring?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards