I don't like bridal showers. It's not like, "They're stinky, no one should have them!" But I really don't want one. The origin of the tradition makes me very uncomfortable, I don't want to have a gendered party (and my partner does not want to have a Jack and Jill shower), and I don't want anyone to feel like they have to get me a shower gift AND a wedding gift.
I've had some pressure from my mom to have a shower, things came to a head at my cousin's shower yesterday. My mother, my aunts, and my grandmother are all very, very upset about the lack of shower. They want to host a luncheon for me and insist that it won't be a shower because I don't have to open presents (except that people will still bring presents).
I'm honestly really angry because my polite but firm declines are not being respected. It's not as if I'm not sure about having a shower and/or asking for opinions. I absolutely do not want a shower. I said no, and everyone's saying, "BUT YOU HAVE TO." It's very clear that the shower would be for them, not for me.
They say that it's important because it's a chance for everyone to get together and be excited for me. My mom has offered to host it and has indicated it can be co-ed if I want it to be, but has admitted that while I wouldn't be expected to open gifts, people would still bring them (even if we said, "No Gifts," which we wouldn't because both my mom and I know that "No Gifts" is not appropriate to say).
I'm a stubborn person, and all of this "But you must!" just makes me even more determined not to have one (which is fine because I didn't want one). However, if I can avoid enduring 5 more months of this song and dance, I'd be a lot happier.
Does anyone either have advice for how to handle declining a shower when everyone is determined to make me have one? Alternatively, is there any way I can satisfy my family's desire to have a pre-wedding party for me without it turning into a shower? If there's any chance of it turning into a shower where everyone or most everyone brings a gift off the registry, I'm not interested. And we've been engaged for almost 9 months; I don't think an engagement party would be appropriate at this point.
now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~