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Re: Bridesmaid wants to bring twins dress shopping
"Does the bridal salon you're going to allow children?"
I went to three different bridal salons and all of them stated something to the tune of 'Unless children are present to try on clothes, for the pleasure of everyone in the salons, we do not allow children.'
While I never had twins all of my babies were breastfed and I had to return to work. I guess I was fortunate that I never had any problems with them going back and forth between the bottle and the breast and being able to pump.
I am going to fall in the camp of finding fault with both of you and I think she is acting very childishly. She is going to have 6 month old twins that she has NEVER EVER been away from? And don't get me started on expecting grandparents to babysit. I have 6 grandkids and I am NOT your built in babysitter!
I will also go as far as saying I would not have had nearly the experience I had with my girls when they were dress shopping if twins would have been in the mix. I just don't think babies belong at wedding dress or bridesmaid dress shopping excursions.
You have 2 choices here. You can leave things as they are or you can go to her and say, "Hey, let's start over. The colors at David's Bridal are A, B, and C. The designer's who carry these colors are 1, 2, 3, and 4. We went with knee length. Shop when it works for you and let's put this behind us.
My 4th DD got married in June and each of her girls wore a different color and a different dress, different designer. It really does work out pretty easy peasy - you don't all have to be there. I paid for the MOH's dress (she was one of my other girls) and I ordered it from Pearl's Place just about 100 days before the wedding. It was an Alfred Angelo and I got stuck with a $60.00 rush fee. You don't need to order dresses months and months and months early, but you should ask around as to when rush fees kick in.
Since you are going to be in each other's lives for a very long time, I encourage you to try starting over with her. I really don't have that big of a problem with anything you did, but I do think some of this is fixable.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I think the issue is that the girlfriend is the one claiming she can't watch her kids herself, without assistance, and that the OP doesn't want to help babysit while dress shopping, let alone ask other people who don't even know this girlfriend to help her watch her kids.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
***Stoopidmobilesitecan'ttellwheretheboxisat***
Just on your last paragraph (don't know how to bold on mobile, sorry), if you know you have to go back to work at three months, then you start preparation for baby to be bottle fed. You decide if that will be breast milk or formula, and go from there. If it's going to be breast milk, your workplace should be providing you with somewhere to pump during the working day, in order to keep your supply up/have additional bottles ready for baby.
If (like my friend I mentioned above) baby won't take to a bottle, or you are not comfortable switching to a bottle because you wish to continue solely breast feeding, then you either make arrangements for someone to bring baby in to work at feed times, or, don't go back to work.
This seems a little cold and unnecessary... Op has said that she will approach with a peace offering; I think that's the best thing she can do now.
We may be able to look at this and claim the woman is crazy for wanting to bring twin babies out dress shopping, however, she is a brand new mother. At the moment she probably can't understand how on earth she's ever gonna leave those kids alone for more than five minutes.
Of course. Six months down the line she may have completely changed her tune and be desperate for a day out away from the kids, but, for now, it is what it is.
Do I think she should have gotten all bent out of shape about it? Depends on what options she was offered. But if I couldn't go because of my baby I would have probably just said this trip won't work for me. We will try again a different time.
And one more thing...I was more horomonal for the first year after pregnancy then I ever was during my pregnancy. Emotions do not just snap back as soon as you deliver. She may be more sensitive still. Especially if she really wanted to be part of this and is feeling left out because she is not comfortable with the options.