Wearing "The Dress" to a reception thrown in hometown

plainjane0415 · August 2014

Is it acceptable to wear your wedding gown to your celebration of marriage reception in your hometown after a destination wedding? I have had a lot of friends beg me to wear my dress but I'm not sure if that's ok or not. I just thought about wearing another nice dress, but so many people have said they want to see me in my dress.. Just curious on what others have done.

msuprincess04 · August 2014

No, it'd be weird to wear a wedding dress to an event other than a wedding. And, like you said, it's a celebration of marriage, not a wedding reception.

Ausome13 · August 2014

I think it would be ok to wear it again if you want to. I wouldn't do it just because it's what someone else wants you to do; but if you want to wear it again, I say go for it!

Dignity100 · August 2014

Because you're no longer a bride, I would say it is weird. I would try to have some pictures of the wedding available so you can project a slide-show or something.

princessleia22 · August 2014

I know this has been touched on several times on the etiquette board, and the general consensus there is that the at home celebration should not mimic a wedding. There should be no dress, no wedding cake (a simpler cake is ok), no first dance... none of the typical wedding staples. It should be a celebration of your marriage, not a redo of the wedding.

That being said, it's also a victimless crime. You aren't lying to anyone. You don't sound like you plan to redo the wedding and say vows again or anything. Everyone knows you are already married and that this isn't a wedding they are invited to. It won't hurt or inconvenience anyone if you choose to wear your dress for your at home celebration. So, I'd say it's up to you. If you want to wear it, go for it.

Knottie37373131 · August 2014

I thought about doing wearing mine to my "reception/celebration of my marriage" but the reason we are having a destination wedding just the two of us is to keep it low key. We both are not people who like to be the center of attention so I think I am just going to wear either a white or a mint green cocktail dress. We are having a luncheon with 25-50 people, likely being on the lower side . . so I do not really want a big event.

WinstonsGirl · August 2014

I'm of the opinion that it's your dress, and you can wear it grocery shopping if it makes you feel good. That said, I had an "meet the new couple" thing thrown for us after our wedding, and I would have felt very out of place wearing my dress. Everyone else was in casual summer clothes, and I would have felt awkward.

plainjane0415 · August 2014

These are all great points! Keep them coming!

Ausome13 · August 2014

I think you can use the reception as an excuse to wear your dress again if you want to or you can use it as an excuse to buy another dress if you want to. Either way, pretty fun options

I also think, know your audience. Do you have friends and family members who think about things like etiquette? Or a group that will be excited to see your gown?

Maybe you could just make an entrance in the gown. Get the ooohs and aaaah's and then come back out in something more casual. Best of both world's.

plainjane0415 · August 2014

Ausome13 said:

I think you can use the reception as an excuse to wear your dress again if you want to or you can use it as an excuse to buy another dress if you want to. Either way, pretty fun options

I also think, know your audience. Do you have friends and family members who think about things like etiquette? Or a group that will be excited to see your gown?

Maybe you could just make an entrance in the gown. Get the ooohs and aaaah's and then come back out in something more casual. Best of both world's.

That's an interesting idea I never thought of it that way!

prettysmile40 · August 2014

This is a good one for me too as I have thought about this. I LOVE my dress and want to wear it again but I dont want it to be weird especially if we have a backyard BBQ for a "celebration of marriage."

onikisuen · August 2014

Why not use it as a valid excuse to wear your dress again? Chances are you love it so why keep it hidden and gathering dust. You and your fiance are still the guests of honor even if it is a more casual event, people shouldn't care that you're dressed up, in fact it's likely that they'd expect you to be. If you wanna wear something more comfortable later then by all means, but at least make an entrance in it.

FH and I are doing 3 wedding events (legal ceremony, wedding ceremony cruise, and casual family reception near home). The Legal ceremony will be just paperwork with the parents, nothing special, but the other two we're going all out. And why not we're spending a few grand for custom formal wear might as well use it.

kimberly0315 · August 2014

I will not. In my opinion (and according to etiquette) you get one wedding. The day you legally get married is your wedding, and wedding day. That is the only time I'll wear my dress.

My FIL's want to have a party when we get back and we told them a casual BBQ will be fine. No dress, no cake cutting, no vows. Just a celebration BBQ. FMIL was not happy with this, but that's her problem. I feel it's weird, I will no longer be a bride. You are only a bride once, then you are a wife.

It does go against etiquette (and I'm sure the etiquette board would strongly disagree for saying this) but it's also harmless to wear it. Know your crowd.

You could post on the etiquette board and see what they say, they are very helpful on what is and isn't proper etiquette.

mrs4everhart · August 2014

I went back and forth over this for months. I've finally decided against it. I want to be comfortable at our AHR and I'd be way overdressed for our venue and theme. Other than a slideshow of pics and stuff there's nothing really wedding-y about our AHR so I think I'd feel kinda weird in it.

I want to do a TTD on our first anniversary back down in Mexico, so I'll get to wear it again for that perhaps.

SuBay · September 2014

Our wedding reception was in our hometown 3 weeks after we married in the Caribbean, I wore my wedding dress and my husband wore his outfit that we married in.....the guests were pleased because a lot of them wanted to see my dress. The night was fabulous!!!!!

pbi9994 · September 2014

I went to an AHR once where the bride hung her dress up for everyone to see and surrounded with pictures from the wedding. I thought it was a nice touch, and she mentioned that she was a hell of a lot more comfortable in her cocktail dress than she was in the gown. Don't know if this helps.

bkelm · September 2014

I plan on it! We have a lot of friends and family that wont be able to make the actual wedding away so we plan on having a reception here just as if it was on the same day as the wedding.

KikiMira · September 2014

My wedding dress was 2 dresses in 1 and I wore the full dress in to the home reception, and did the short dress shortly after. I think it was perfect and everyone that had not seen it yet loved that I wore it again.

Knottie4387472 · September 2014

It may be against "etiquette" however I will be wearing my dress and my fiancé (then will be husband) will be wearing his uniform (military). Bridesmaids will be wearing their dresses as well. We all complain we don't get to wear a dress but once. Well, guess what, us destination brides get to wear it again!!

My family and friends that are unable to make our intimate occasion at the Dominican Republic want to see the dress and the rest of our wedding party. We are not 're-living' our wedding, simply having the wedding reception later than the date of the actual wedding.

My thoughts are, do as your heart says, I know my family and friends, I may be overdressed as we are keeping it casual generally, however people are coming to a wedding reception, and have some have stated they are not happy with the whole destination thing. As a compromise I assured them they will get to see the dress, we will have the wedding video playing. Our wedding will be on the beach but our reception is when we get home... just a little later.

Just my two-cents... again, probably not correct when speaking to the etiquette people, but I am comfortable with our choice, and you need to be as well!!

Knottie37373131 · September 2014

I have decided not to wear my dress during our "celebration of our marriage". We will be having a small luncheon with about 30 guests so I think I would be uncomfortable wearing mine again. If we were having a bigger event it may be more comfortable. I will probably stick to a casual coctail dress.

Fairyjen1 · October 2014

Etiquette-wise it's not okay. That said, I like looking at wedding gowns so I prefer the bride wear her dress so I can see it

As long as you aren't re-doing your ceremony or have any other wedding trappings it's a victim-less crime. (although I'm sure someone could come up with a situation where there's a victim.)

Besides, you probably paid a lot for it so why not get more use out of it. My sister wore hers to her AHR (20 years ago!). It was tea length though and not a formal ball gown. She changed into something more comfortable later. most of my family wouldn't know good etiquette if it bit them on the ankle so maybe we aren't the best examples.

I

ferroch · October 2014

I plan on wearing mine!

For the time and effort put into locating the perfect gown and the cost you better believe I am MORE than happy to get an additional wear out of it.

mrs4everhart · October 2014

I vacillated between wanting to wear mine again and not doing so at our AHR. In the end I decided against it. I loved my dress but I just wanted to have fun at our AHR and not be so formal. Etiquette never once factored in to the decision for me, I just didn't feel like being that dressed up. My H actually said he thinks we should wear our wedding attire every year on our anniversary and go out on the town in it. I think that would be a hoot, so we just might. Not sure what etiquette would say about that either but my wearing a wedding dress out partying harms no one and I'm not worried that strangers will think I'm batshit crazy, so we may just have to party on :-)

XrebeccaX · October 2014

I didn't. I was very particular, though, about making our AHR the UnWedding. It was a BBQ in a rustic lodge, very casual. We brought framed wedding pics from our photographer and set them out for people to see if they wanted. It would have been odd for me to wear it. Besides, it's at the cleaners!

A lot of people asked if I was going to wear it and I found the question ridiculous...as far as I'm concerned there is one wedding day, plus there's the whole makeup-hair-veil rigamarole that you might want to duplicate and I'm way too lazy for that!

soinlove247 · November 2014

I don't see why not, if its a wedding reception why would you not wear it.If its a backyard bbq then I can see how you wouldn't want it messy but otherwise, its your dress and that's a reason to wear it more than once. In an effort not to feel "overdressed" have ur guests dress for the occasion, have fun!

maryemoo · November 2014

This is something I've been really struggling with deciding on, as we have completely changed how we want to do our wedding and reception.

Now we think we'll have a private ceremony someplace (just us, the officiant, and the photographer) and a reception at a later date for our friends and family. We won't redo our vows, just celebrate later with those we know and love, but we're still going to have pictures taken of the reception and of us with family members. I intend to wear my dress for that reason.

rehlinga · January 2015

Who cares if it is against what someone decided is etiquette? If you love your dress, and you want to wear it, WEAR IT! Chances are that guests that were not able to go to your wedding will appreciate being able to see you beautifully dressed up in you dress. Those that choose to judge you for wearing it....does their opinion really matter? You are doing a reception back home to be able to share your love, happiness and celebration for those that couldn't make it to your destination wedding. In my opinion, your dress fits right in.

Knottie41786461 · April 2015

I am having a DW with a big, formal reception back home. I definitely plan on wearing my dress again. But then again, I don't know how casual your at home reception is going to be. I am having a reception with around 250 people back home and I know a lot of them will want that experience. I am also having my bridesmaids wear their dresses (some aren't going to be able to make the wedding, but I still am considering them bridesmaids - say what you want about that).

I also recently went to a reception from a couple that got married in Jamaica and had their reception around a month after and she wore her dress, her bridesmaids wore their dresses, and her husband and the groomsmen all wore full tuxes again (I haven't decided on that part yet).

Jells2dot0 · April 2015

@Knottie41786461 please feel free to openly post on the forums, but be aware of the dates of the original posts or the last posts made!!

CMGragain · April 2015

As a compromise, you might consider wearing the dress initially to show Grandma and friends, and then immediately changing into a more appropriate party dress. I would not recommend wearing your gown for the entire party. No recreations of any part of your original wedding, either.

Maggie0829 · April 2015

Knottie41786461 said:
I am having a DW with a big, formal reception back home. I definitely plan on wearing my dress again. But then again, I don't know how casual your at home reception is going to be. I am having a reception with around 250 people back home and I know a lot of them will want that experience. I am also having my bridesmaids wear their dresses (some aren't going to be able to make the wedding, but I still am considering them bridesmaids - say what you want about that).
I also recently went to a reception from a couple that got married in Jamaica and had their reception around a month after and she wore her dress, her bridesmaids wore their dresses, and her husband and the groomsmen all wore full tuxes again (I haven't decided on that part yet).

So you are going to make your friends buy a dress and wear it to your marriage celebration when they aren't even going to be able to make it to the actual wedding? I find that rude. They are no longer BMs at your party back home. At that point they are your friends and should be allowed to wear whatever the hell they want. And please don't require the GMs to re-rent their tuxes or wear their GMs attire again. These people are no longer in a wedding party because there is no wedding occurring at this event.

As for your dress. If you want to wear it, whatever. It certainly isn't going to affect my comfort as a guest. But don't use the "I know a lot of them will want to experience that" crap as a reason for wearing it. Guess what? I am sure many of your guests will have wanted to experience the actual wedding, so seeing you in your dress really isn't going to make up for it, nor is it something grand and spectacular that needs to be shared.

I will recommend nixing the veil and make sure that your dress is bustled the entire time.

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