Brother's Girlfriend - WWYD?

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

So, my parents are coming into town and my brother is coming over for dinner (along with his girlfriend). His girlfriend is nice enough .... She is just trying a bit too hard. Last time they were over, she hugged me and greeted me with "hey, sis!!" Um, no. They've been together a few months (and this will be the 4th time I've hung out with her).

The whole "hey, sis" thing makes me uncomfortable. I'm a hugger; that's no big deal to me. Any suggestions of how to reply if she calls me "sis" again?

Some backstory - my brother got married in November 2012. His (now ex) wife and I were close - I was a BM for her, and she was one for me. They split up in April 2013, and officially divorced last fall. This is his 2nd girlfriend since the divorce, so I'm just trying to stay a bit emotionally distant because I honestly don't see them lasting too long.

OliveOilsMom · September 2014

Laugh it off. And say, "Oh stop that! Call me Sarah!"

mschristie123 · September 2014

I wouldn't do/say anything. Just smile and nod and hopefully she'll get the hint.

beethery · September 2014

Ask her if she's ever seen Game of Thrones.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Sugargirl1019 · September 2014

OliveOilsMom said:

Laugh it off. And say, "Oh stop that! Call me Sarah!"

This. It is too difficult to shut her down without hurting her feelings. Just downplay or ignore as much as possible!

beethery · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Yeeesh. She's trying soooooo hard. Good lord

Maggie0829 · September 2014

OliveOilsMom said:

Laugh it off. And say, "Oh stop that! Call me Sarah!"

This or respond back with "Hey Melissa*!" Maybe she will eventually get the hint that you, in fact, do not think of her as a sister and would appreciate her not calling you sis.

*I made up the name Melissa, just insert whatever her name actually is.

climbingsingle · September 2014

I hate people that try too hard. Ugh. I also would just keep calling her by her first name. Hopefully she'll get the hint.

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

"Ha! What a funny joke... she called me 'sis' - bro! She's a joker! No seriously though, my name is Sarah, please call me Sarah. It's nice to meet you again."

beethery · September 2014

Maggie0829 said:

OliveOilsMom said:

Laugh it off. And say, "Oh stop that! Call me Sarah!"

This or respond back with "Hey Melissa*!" Maybe she will eventually get the hint that you, in fact, do not think of her as a sister and would appreciate her not calling you sis.

*I made up the name Melissa, just insert whatever her name actually is.

Honestly, if her name isn't Melissa, call her Melissa lol.

Maybe she'll get the hint.

smalfrie19 · September 2014

I am kind of on the other side of this. I know you think she is trying too hard, but she is probably just vying for your approval because she cares about your brother. If she does it again, I would be kind and just say "Please, call me Sarah."

would you rather have someone who tries to hard, or is a straight Biatch to you?

Maggie0829 · September 2014

smalfrie19 said:

I am kind of on the other side of this. I know you think she is trying too hard, but she is probably just vying for your approval because she cares about your brother. If she does it again, I would be kind and just say "Please, call me Sarah."

would you rather have someone who tries to hard, or is a straight Biatch to you?

I would rather have someone in the middle who is normal and will call me by my name and not try to call me sis or my Did "pop" when you have only met us a handful of times. Because that doesn't sound like trying to hard that just sounds like she has the case of the crazies.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

smalfrie19 said:
I am kind of on the other side of this. I know you think she is trying too hard, but she is probably just vying for your approval because she cares about your brother. If she does it again, I would be kind and just say "Please, call me Sarah."

would you rather have someone who tries to hard, or is a straight Biatch to you?

If that's the case, then she doesn't know my brother very well. She must not have figured out that my brother will date whomever he wants regardless of family "approval." And if a woman he dated was a bitch, she simply would not be welcome in our home.

ohannabelle · September 2014

Pop and Sis? What the...has she been watching old reruns of Father Knows Best? Super uncomfortable. Agreed, laugh it off and if she keeps up, correct her gently.

steph861 · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Who does this after dating somebody for a few months?! I'll bet she's fishing for a ring from your bro as well.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Who does this after dating somebody for a few months?! I'll bet she's fishing for a ring from your bro as well.

This is what scares me. When they visited my parents over Labor Day, she apparently confided in my mom regarding some sensitive stuff. It's not clear if my brother knows this information yet. And it's not good.

*sigh*. I'm just hoping she drops the whole "sis" act.

ShesSoCold · September 2014

I'd tell you to go crazy overboard and make her uncomfortable with something like suggesting sister tattoos but I'm afraid she'd call your bluff.

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

sarahbear31 said:

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Who does this after dating somebody for a few months?! I'll bet she's fishing for a ring from your bro as well.
This is what scares me. When they visited my parents over Labor Day, she apparently confided in my mom regarding some sensitive stuff. It's not clear if my brother knows this information yet. And it's not good.

*sigh*. I'm just hoping she drops the whole "sis" act.

She must be really good in the sack because she sounds like a crazypants.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

southernbelle0915, yep.

Seriously though, it's weird that she is trying SO hard with the family. She also addressed my husband as "bro."

steph861 · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

sarahbear31 said:

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Who does this after dating somebody for a few months?! I'll bet she's fishing for a ring from your bro as well.
This is what scares me. When they visited my parents over Labor Day, she apparently confided in my mom regarding some sensitive stuff. It's not clear if my brother knows this information yet. And it's not good.

*sigh*. I'm just hoping she drops the whole "sis" act.

Dear god, she better not be pregnant.

princessofgenovia · September 2014

I have never heard FI call his sisters "sis", he just calls them by their names. Ok, nicknames from childhood, but still...not addressing his relation towards them. That's just weird on it's own. I'm only child, but I can't think of a single friend of mine who walks around calling their sibling "bro" or "sis".

When FI and I got engaged and told his family his youngest sister said "So I get another big sister, huh sis? You're gonna be my big sis!" and that's the only time she's ever called me "sis". After being with her brother for 2 years, she waited until he put a ring on it.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

steph11814 said:

sarahbear31 said:

sarahbear31 said:

Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."

Who does this after dating somebody for a few months?! I'll bet she's fishing for a ring from your bro as well.
This is what scares me. When they visited my parents over Labor Day, she apparently confided in my mom regarding some sensitive stuff. It's not clear if my brother knows this information yet. And it's not good.

*sigh*. I'm just hoping she drops the whole "sis" act.

Dear god, she better not be pregnant.

oh shit, please don't scare me like that.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

princessofgenovia said:

I have never heard FI call his sisters "sis", he just calls them by their names. Ok, nicknames from childhood, but still...not addressing his relation towards them. That's just weird on it's own. I'm only child, but I can't think of a single friend of mine who walks around calling their sibling "bro" or "sis".

When FI and I got engaged and told his family his youngest sister said "So I get another big sister, huh sis? You're gonna be my big sis!" and that's the only time she's ever called me "sis". After being with her brother for 2 years, she waited until he put a ring on it.

When my brother & his ex got married, I took a pic of us at the wedding and the caption was "my new sister-in-law!". But we never addressed each other with that. I have a sister, and we never call each other "sis."

bwy · September 2014

As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier?

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

bc+rw16 said:

As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier?

It's just presumptuous.

And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife. She was one of my bridesmaids. Their split really upset me. So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.

bwy · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

bc+rw16 said:

As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier?

It's just presumptuous.

And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife. She was one of my bridesmaids. Their split really upset me. So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.

Probably not. How old is she? Maybe I'd just sit her down and tell her what's up?

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

bc+rw16 said:

sarahbear31 said:

bc+rw16 said:

As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier?

It's just presumptuous.

And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife. She was one of my bridesmaids. Their split really upset me. So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.

Probably not. How old is she? Maybe I'd just sit her down and tell her what's up?

I'm not sure ... late 20s? My brother is 32 and I'm 35. I'll just kindly correct her if she does it. I'm really not keen on sitting her down to talk.

smalfrie19 · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

bc+rw16 said:

sarahbear31 said:

bc+rw16 said:

As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier?

It's just presumptuous.

And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife. She was one of my bridesmaids. Their split really upset me. So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.

Probably not. How old is she? Maybe I'd just sit her down and tell her what's up?

I'm not sure ... late 20s? My brother is 32 and I'm 35. I'll just kindly correct her if she does it. I'm really not keen on sitting her down to talk.

I get you were really close to his ex wife and their split hurt, but to me it just seems like you really don't want to get to know her and are willing to let any little thing about her bother you. JMO.

steph861 · September 2014

Take @Beethery's advice and call her the wrong name, but take it one step further and give her a family member title like 'mom' or 'daughter'. That oughtta throw her for a loop. "Oh, is it weird when I call you 'mom'? I thought we were just coming up with ridiculous nicknames for each other, since you keep calling me 'sis' and all."

beethery · September 2014

smalfrie19 said:

sarahbear31 said:

bc+rw16 said:

sarahbear31 said:

bc+rw16 said:

As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier?

It's just presumptuous.

And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife. She was one of my bridesmaids. Their split really upset me. So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.

Probably not. How old is she? Maybe I'd just sit her down and tell her what's up?

I'm not sure ... late 20s? My brother is 32 and I'm 35. I'll just kindly correct her if she does it. I'm really not keen on sitting her down to talk.

I get you were really close to his ex wife and their split hurt, but to me it just seems like you really don't want to get to know her and are willing to let any little thing about her bother you. JMO.

Idk, ex-wife aside, I'd still be like, "Why the hell is this girl calling me sis?"

I am an only child though and nobody has ever, or will ever, call me sis, and I'm cool with that. FSIL has called me her FSIL once. If she was up my ass calling me 'sis' all the time I'd be put off by it. I ain't her sister.

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