When I was 19 ...

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

Spin-off from the money thread. What was your life like at 19? Do you think you expected your life to look like what it does now

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

When I was 19, I studied abroad in Valencia, Spain for 6 weeks. I had just declared my major as Computer Science, and I was very involved on campus in college. At that point, I hoped I would be married by the time I was 25 and would have a few kids by the time I turned 30. I had not had a "real" boyfriend yet, though. I would have never predicted that I wouldn't marry until I was 32.

sarahufl · September 2014

Very different. I had just gotten out of a somewhat abusive relationship with a dude who smoked pot and snorted coke instead of going to class. I was a freshman in college in a rural town and a bit of a mess.

I just turned 31 and celebrated 6 years in Manhattan. Married a guy I would not have married at 19 because he was too safe and my parents liked him too much and I couldn't be happier.

beethery · September 2014

At 19, I was a freshman in college. I worked at Brookstone, and tried really hard to nail a cute mall security guard that summer. Then I dated a 25 year old divorcee who lived in his parents trailer. That lasted about a month. I broke up with him because he would not stop telling me he loved me after a week.

I could not have foreseen the way my life turned out. Not even a little bit. I am a pretty different person than I was then.

blabla89 · September 2014

At 19 I was a freshman/sophomore in college, head over heels crazy about a guy who turned out to be a total ass, going to hardcore/punk shows every weekend, and not studying as much as I should have. Despite all that I was actually fairly responsible and managed to keep my grades up and pay all my own expenses.

Honestly, I wasn't thinking about the future very much then. I didn't really look beyond the next semester. My life now is totally different than what I had imagined in the past, it's definitely less glamorous, but so much better than anything I expected.

Cookie Pusher · September 2014

Depending on what part of the year we're talking about, I was either a freshman or sophomore in college. I was working at least 2 jobs (most of the time, it was 3) to pay my tuition since my parents couldn't really contribute with so many other children at home to support. I was engaged to a controlling, emotionally-abusive twit. A twit that I loved SO MUCH that I just couldn't leave, no matter how terribly he treated me.

My life is completely and totally different than what I thought it would be when I was 19, and I couldn't be happier.

ShesSoCold · September 2014

When I was 19, I was working three jobs and smoking my weight in weed on a weekly basis. My boyfriend was a 22-year-old unemployed stoner. He wanted me to marry him and have babies. Even then I knew that was BSC.

ashley8918 · September 2014

When I was 19, I was married to an abusive douchebag with a napoleon complex (dude was 5'2"). I had a baby, and would have another one coming in a year or so. I worked full time at an insurance agency (BORRRRRRRING as hell), and my husband was unemployed. In part because of laziness, and in part because of constantly being in and out of jail for burglary, DUI, and domestic violence.

We also had shitty roommates who smoked a lot of pot, and stole my futon when they moved out. FUCKERS.

I could have never guessed that I would be where I am now, at 25: Divorced, about to marry the right dude, going to college, and getting real damn close to a quality management position at a pharmaceutical company.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

When I was 19, it was 2006. I was a sophomore in college and also working part-time in a shoe store. I had a freelance web design business. I think I had just made the first violin section in the university orchestra and I was really excited about this. I was spending a lot of time volunteering with my undergrad service group. I was friends with a completely different group of people than I am close to now.

I had been with Fi for four years and I was very confident he was the right man for me. I also really thought Fi and I would get engaged pretty soon after my college graduation and money for a wedding would magically materialize. Fortunately I grew out of this by the time I graduated and realized how hard getting on our feet was going to be.

Even though Fi whined about being away from me, I studied abroad in Aix-en-Provence, France that summer. It was the best summer of my life so far.

I thought I would go straight to law school after college and find a dream job practicing human rights law at the UN and rescuing women and children from poverty all over the world. I had zero idea of what legal job prospects would be like in a few years.

I was a pretty good kid. But I still laugh at how different my life is now.

lurkergirl · September 2014

Freshman/sophomore in college and on a deep downward slope into a year of being a total fucking mess. I totally thought I would be an OMH and doing the soccer mom thing by now (I'm 29).

falsara · September 2014

When I was 19 I was a sophomore in college. I moved across country from AZ to Washington DC by myself. I was going to the community college part-time so I could get instate tuition to get to my "Dream University".

The strangers that I ended up subletting with turned out to be complete jerks, and essentially I got kicked out because I refused to cover their rent, because I couldn't afford to lend them the money. I believe one of them was selling drugs out of the garage apartment. The last straw was when I was cornered in the basement and screamed at by two of them while they told me how horrible I was, and that I was lying.

I moved out that night, with all my stuff in trash bags.

I couldn't find a new place, so I went to my Nana's house in Michigan and they helped me save enough money to move back in with my parents. I owe them a ton of money.

During all of this I was seeing a 26 year old guy long distance who broke up with me shortly after I moved back to AZ, apparently "I didn't need him enough".

Now I've been living in Chicago for almost 10 months. Me and FI live together and I'm a Junior with only 2 1/2 semesters left of my BA. I never thought that one of the friends I left behind when I moved to VA would be the one to show me how much I can be loved.

slothiegal · September 2014

I am so happy this thread exists.

Let's see, 19....I finally ended my dysfunctional relationship with my ex (for a little while, at least), only to rebound with a guy way too young for me. I slept in parking lots on a regular basis. I was a religion major. I was cheated on for the first time. My now best friend (and MOH!) and I hated each other.

Needless to say, I am a very, VERY different person now.

Simky906 · September 2014

At 19 I was a sophomore in college, starting a relationship that would get to the point of looking at rings before I ended it almost 2 years later. Never would have worked out in the long run but I'm really glad I had that relationship. Without the experiences it brought me, I don't think I would have been ready for my relationship with DH.

I thought that I would have a government career where I would move around to lots of foreign countries and couldn't imagine ever wanting children. I held myself to (what I can now see) were unrealistically high standards and had a level of perfectionism that took years to get away from (a minor mistake, like forgetting to bring my insurance card to the doctors office and having to reschedule an appointment would send me into a crying jag because I felt so stupid).

I've definitely done some traveling but had some internships that showed me I would have been deeply unhappy with that high powered and stressful lifestyle. And DH and I aren't trying yet but kids are probably only 2-3 years down the road. My life is very different and I am deeply thankful for that fact.

ShesSoCold · September 2014

Oh, I also left that loser-ass boyfriend for my now H when I was19. I bought my first new car and was SO PROUD of myself.

BreMR · September 2014

When I was 19 I was working in real estate, about to move in with my boyfriend (now fiance) to our first apartment! I had no responsibilities and the best wardrobe, and it was the last time my weight was in the 120's. WOMP WOMP! (So not to give the 19 year old in the money thread the wrong idea, Fi and I did break up for 8 months when we were 24, so it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns since 19)

larrygaga · September 2014

I was drinking a lot and going through my anorexia thing. I think this was the weird time FI and I really didn't have a relationship. We were together but we really didn't hang out or call or anything. I think because we were together for so long we just kinda stopped for awhile, and then picked it back up at random. We were more like distance friends for a few months.

I was also going to school and working and failing most of my classes and I got into a couple of fights. It was lame and I was lame. I'm cool now, though.

bethsmiles · September 2014

When I was 19 I was a sophomore in college. I switched schools and moved to a different state to be closer to SO. That's my one big romantic gesture. One of SO's friends always tells me that I'm not enough of a romantic (she uses being a romantic as an excuse for moving way to fast in shitty relationships) and I always say hey I moved away from friends and family and switched schools all for him I don't need to do any more grand gestures honey!

I also ended up taking a semester off because the funding fell through for the school I was going to attend. Turns out I really loved the school I ended up. And I had a super weird roommate who didn't notice I hadn't been to the apartment in 3 weeks because I was in the hospital (well in the hospital for one week then 2 weeks at BF's place while recovering).

I was pretty sure SO and I were going to get married really soon (so glad we didn't!). I was absolutely when I was 19, I'm lucky SO was way more grounded than I was and was set on not getting engaged/married until we finished school.

larrygaga · September 2014

beethery said:

At 19, I was a freshman in college. I worked at Brookstone, and tried really hard to nail a cute mall security guard that summer. Then I dated a 25 year old divorcee who lived in his parents trailer. That lasted about a month. I broke up with him because he would not stop telling me he loved me after a week.

I could not have foreseen the way my life turned out. Not even a little bit. I am a pretty different person than I was then.

I feel the exact same way

pinkcow13 · September 2014

When I was 19 I was in college in upstate, NY. I was was still with FI, and I was still a psychology major with plans to get my PhD or PsyD and become a clinical psychologist. I was immature, having the time of my life, and imagined that FI and I would marry within 5 years, move in after marriage, and have a kid or 2 by the time we were 30. I imagined that after graduation, I would go straight to grad school, job offers would come in, and I would start making tons of money. I imagined us living in a fabulous loft or penthouse in Manhattan.

I did not imagine that my life would turn out the way it did. I think I just looked at the immediate future and jumped straight to the far future, with no in between. I didn't really think about bills, or what would happen once I graduated and hit the real world, with student loans. In some ways I am the same person, but a lot more mature, with more realistic expectations about things and the world.

I just turned 30, have lived on my own for a few years (moved to Brooklyn at one point) before moving in with FI, and becoming engaged. We broke up at one point for nearly 2 years and went through some rough times in the process, but in the end it brought us together and made us stronger. I have a job at a Fortune 500 company (which I don't totally love but I'm trying to get to there), and no kids - which I am SO happy about. We do still live in Manhattan - but definitely NOT in a loft or penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park lol.

manateehugger · September 2014

I was flipping my shit about not wanting to be an Army wife until I realized I could just be an H's wife, but that took me a few years to figure out (everything is the end of the world when you're 19).

Other than that, I was a drunken college sophomore who wore an embarrassing amount of stuff with her sorority letters on it and was realizing she didn't want to be a lawyer. Didn't think I'd be in the career field I'm in now.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

pinkcow13 said:

I did not imagine that my life would turn out the way it did. I think I just looked at the immediate future and jumped straight to the far future, with no in between. I didn't really think about bills, or what would happen once I graduated and hit the real world, with student loans. In some ways I am the same person, but a lot more mature, with more realistic expectations about things and the world.

This is EXACTLY how I was. That's a great way to put it. I thought about the marriage and the dream job and kids, and I didn't think about years of paying my dues and saving up and building our relationship to a stronger place. Those middle years of climbing up the ladder and learning hard lessons and struggling are really important. Hell, I just voluntarily jumped way the hell back down the ladder in a different field. I'm still paying dues. And I'm a much better person because of it.

climbingsingle · September 2014

I was in college full time and working in an office (in the accounting department) full time. I got up for 8am classes every day, then drove right to work, changed in the bathroom into my fancy work clothes and worked until 7pm.

I lived at home and paid rent. I leased my first car.

At the beginning of the year, I was dating guitar ponytail sensitive dude. He pretty much couch surfed and never really had a home. Thankfully at 19 I was able to see that we had no future and he was going no where. He lives in Austin now and barely gets by.

I had a really good fake ID. And I managed to squeeze in a lot of partying between work and school.

And I started dating the second guy the broke my heart. And that guy 13 years later would introduce me to my current FI!!

LadyMillil · September 2014

I was in my second year of university and taking extra classes each semester. I had enough scholarship money to cover my tuition, on campus housing and meal plan until graduation. With the scholarship money and working my butt off during the summer, I could get along ok without working during the school year. I was involved in student government at the university and ran a couple university committees. I was planning on going to med school, being married by the time I graduated and having kids by 30. I started working in a research lab about a year later and that made me change paths to grad school instead. I had never had a boyfriend at 19. I went through my "wild phase" for about 8 months when I was 21-22, met DH just before I turned 23. Moved across the country for my PhD and to be with DH after my MSc just after turning 25, married earlier this year at 27, on track to graduate with my PhD by 29 and start a family around the same time.

Moiramab · September 2014

I'm jumping on this before reading the other thread...

When I was 19, I was a sophomore and had just joined the knot because college BF and I were totally picture perfect amazing hurr.

We actually "took a break" the semester after that, and I wish I'd ended it right then instead because the red flags that raised came to fruition after I graduated and moved back home - we broke up because he wanted more experience. Right.

I did most of my changing the year after our breakup, worked my ass off and saved up enough to move back to my college town, get into a master's program, and met my now-SO (who I actually had classes with during undergrad, so you never know what you're missing out on).

jdluvr06 · September 2014

When I was 19 I was in college and living with my bff. I was working at a book store. I was just coming off a drug addiction so I was in a pretty fragile state of mind. I had started seeing H around then. I didn't have any expectations or big plans for the future. At that point trying to figure out the future seemed a little too much. Actually looking back I feel pretty damn lucky that things turned out as great as they have for me.

chibiyui · September 2014

When I was 19...

I was a freshman in college, and had just been dumped by my high school boyfriend. He cheated on me with another girl across the state at his college. I was devastated by this and spent a lot of time being mopey. I worked a work study job in my department and started hanging out with people more.

I thought I was going to be living in NYC after school, working at a cool studio and being awesome until Mr. Mcperfect-who-didn't-exist-yet was ready to move out into the burbs and have babies.

In reality, I am selling mattresses and I have H who thankfully exists. We are trying to figure out if we want to move closer to the city (Not NYC) or stay relatively close to where we are now. We're also trying to figure out when we want to start making the babies.

H is not what I thought I'd marry. I always joked I wanted to marry a rich jewish doctor (All my hollywood crushes are jewish) H is blonde hair blue eyed german as the come. So you know, don't get latched too much into a type, younger self.

ohannabelle · September 2014

I'm giving you all permission to laugh.

At 19, I was living with my boyfriend (now known as Hippie Dad) in a town called Selleck, in the forests of the foothills of the Cascades. It was more of a street of old houses than a town. Former company houses for a logging outfit. 8 out of 10 houses were full of cosmically in tune granola eating poetry writing musician and artist types.

(The 9th house belonged to the man who had purchased the town a few years prior. He had dreams of turning it into a Disneyesque theme park, with a logging theme. He built a couple of paddleboats for the pond, failed to find investors, and was only seen after that when he would come around and collect rent. I think he was sad.)

We were a Collective Community For Peace. We had a lot of singalongs, and ate lots of Sprouts, and had fabuloso town meetings on Sundays at the grange hall. Our mayor lived there. He wrote science fiction. Hippie Dad and I were the fire department, because after great debate, it was voted that we would keep the fire hose in our house. There was electricity, but only wood stoves for heat. I acquired great bread baking skills here.

There were also lots of Australian Dingo dogs, because Jingles the leather worker thought we could all breed and sell them, and become prosperous and harmonious. It would be beautiful. Nobody bought them, but everyone in town had one, and we were happy. My Dingo was named Buster. He was half yellow lab, so the breeding thing was obviously not carefully supervised.

HippieDad drove the bus to the college every day. Four of us were students. The bus was a decrepit milk truck. I adored him.

At one point, the town wrote a Declaration of Independence, and seceded from the nation. Nobody cared. So we just drank a little wine and smoked a little weed and floated around the pond on the almost seaworthy abandoned paddle boats.

(Misty water colored meeemories, of the way we were. For heaven's sake. I should drive up there and see what's become of that place.)

JCbride2015 · September 2014

ohannabelle said:

I'm giving you all permission to laugh.
At 19, I was living with my boyfriend (now known as Hippie Dad) in a town called Selleck, in the forests of the foothills of the Cascades. It was more of a street of old houses than a town. Former company houses for a logging outfit. 8 out of 10 houses were full of cosmically in tune granola eating poetry writing musician and artist types.
(The 9th house belonged to the man who had purchased the town a few years prior. He had dreams of turning it into a Disneyesque theme park, with a logging theme. He built a couple of paddleboats for the pond, failed to find investors, and was only seen after that when he would come around and collect rent. I think he was sad.)

We were a Collective Community For Peace. We had a lot of singalongs, and ate lots of Sprouts, and had fabuloso town meetings on Sundays at the grange hall. Our mayor lived there. He wrote science fiction. Hippie Dad and I were the fire department, because after great debate, it was voted that we would keep the fire hose in our house. There was electricity, but only wood stoves for heat. I acquired great bread baking skills here.

There were also lots of Australian Dingo dogs, because Jingles the leather worker thought we could all breed and sell them, and become prosperous and harmonious. It would be beautiful. Nobody bought them, but everyone in town had one, and we were happy. My Dingo was named Buster. He was half yellow lab, so the breeding thing was obviously not carefully supervised.

HippieDad drove the bus to the college every day. Four of us were students. The bus was a decrepit milk truck. I adored him.

At one point, the town wrote a Declaration of Independence, and seceded from the nation. Nobody cared. So we just drank a little wine and smoked a little weed and floated around the pond on the almost seaworthy abandoned paddle boats.

(Misty water colored meeemories, of the way we were. For heaven's sake. I should drive up there and see what's become of that place.)

You win this thread.

jdluvr06 · September 2014

ohannabelle said:
I'm giving you all permission to laugh.
At 19, I was living with my boyfriend (now known as Hippie Dad) in a town called Selleck, in the forests of the foothills of the Cascades. It was more of a street of old houses than a town. Former company houses for a logging outfit. 8 out of 10 houses were full of cosmically in tune granola eating poetry writing musician and artist types.
(The 9th house belonged to the man who had purchased the town a few years prior. He had dreams of turning it into a Disneyesque theme park, with a logging theme. He built a couple of paddleboats for the pond, failed to find investors, and was only seen after that when he would come around and collect rent. I think he was sad.)

We were a Collective Community For Peace. We had a lot of singalongs, and ate lots of Sprouts, and had fabuloso town meetings on Sundays at the grange hall. Our mayor lived there. He wrote science fiction. Hippie Dad and I were the fire department, because after great debate, it was voted that we would keep the fire hose in our house. There was electricity, but only wood stoves for heat. I acquired great bread baking skills here.

There were also lots of Australian Dingo dogs, because Jingles the leather worker thought we could all breed and sell them, and become prosperous and harmonious. It would be beautiful. Nobody bought them, but everyone in town had one, and we were happy. My Dingo was named Buster. He was half yellow lab, so the breeding thing was obviously not carefully supervised.

HippieDad drove the bus to the college every day. Four of us were students. The bus was a decrepit milk truck. I adored him.

At one point, the town wrote a Declaration of Independence, and seceded from the nation. Nobody cared. So we just drank a little wine and smoked a little weed and floated around the pond on the almost seaworthy abandoned paddle boats.

(Misty water colored meeemories, of the way we were. For heaven's sake. I should drive up there and see what's become of that place.)

That is awesome. You and my mom would completely get along.

jnrsgirl · September 2014

At 19, I was a junior in college, working three jobs, engaged to FI, and had been fending for myself for four years already. It was an exhausting time in my life.

beethery · September 2014

@ohannabelle has the best stories, hands down.

When I was 19 ...

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