vendor meals

Fairyjen1 · September 2014

I work as a wedding vendor, although my talent is specialized and I only do a few weddings a year (Scottish Highland Dancer). I don't have it in my contract, but I don't think we have ever NOT been offered food. Sometimes it's a sandwich and chips, usually it's whatever they serve their guests, once it was chicken nuggets off of the kids meal.

Normally we are booked for to perform only a couple dances and then we are free to go or stay (Scottish weddings tend to treat anyone in a kilt, including dancers, as extended family), in which case I usually leave and don't eat. If we are booked to run some Scottish Country dancing during the reception as well as performing we usually take what meal is offered as dancing builds up an appetite.

theartistformerlyknownas · September 2014

Jen4948 said:

I might be paying them hundreds or thousands of dollars, but that doesn't entitle them to porterhouse steak on top of their fee-especially if that's not what I'm serving to my guests. I would be willing to give them time off to get a meal of their choice. Other brides and grooms may not, but that's their concern. Every contract is different. It's not rude to offer the vendors a reasonable break during which time they can do whatever they like and eat whatever they like on their own dime, provided they are back and ready to perform by some specified time. They can even trade off with colleagues so that one might cover the first half of the reception and another might cover the second half, or some such arrangement.

To remind you, I said that I would be willing to feed my vendors, but they are not entitled to gourmet, high-quality meals on my dime even if they are being paid fees of thousands of dollars, and for them to expect it comes off as very entitled-in some cases beyond the value of what they are providing.

I don't understand where the bolded is coming from. Nowhere did anyone mention a contract that stipulated the vendor get better food than the guests, nor have I ever heard of it. They want a comparable meal, and it should be considered at the time you're budgeting whether you can afford a vendor. I calculated my photographer's fee plus album costs plus prints plus her meal in deciding whether to hire her.

cosenti7 · September 2014

My venue is charging me $30 for a vendor meal and they get the option of the chicken or fish dish my guests are having. I was thrilled! My photographer had informed me some places will offer PB and Jelly sandwiches as their meal.

grumbledore · September 2014

Simky906 said:

@grumbledore‌ I get where you're coming from, but to me it doesn't seem like the nicest thing to be surrounded by folks eating really good food (and my venue did have some awesome food) while you get a sandwich. Is it a massive, world ending deal? No, but I do think it's something that's easy to do and that I imagine most vendors would appreciate it.

I just think every time this comes up it gets blown way out of proportion. As long as you are feeding you vendors something substantial enough to get them through the day, I think you are good. People who don't feed their vendors will surely find a place reserved for them in hell. But a nice sandwich or two and some extras doesn't seem like an unreasonable meal to me, while working, in the least

huskypuppy14 · September 2014

Simky906 said:

Wait, there are places that just serve the vendors a sandwich? My venue had vendor meals that only cost $40 but they are exactly the same as the guests' meal. That just seems very odd to me that you would serve cold cuts to someone who is essentially working 5-8 hours with no break.

Ditto. 42 dollars for vendor meals, for the same food. Easy!

My Dj actually said he prefers a sandwich to a big meal, but whatever we were offering was fine. I even checked in with my photographer after dinner to make sure he was able to eat.

Jen4948 · September 2014

lolo883 said:

Jen4948 said:

I might be paying them hundreds or thousands of dollars, but that doesn't entitle them to porterhouse steak on top of their fee-especially if that's not what I'm serving to my guests. I would be willing to give them time off to get a meal of their choice. Other brides and grooms may not, but that's their concern. Every contract is different. It's not rude to offer the vendors a reasonable break during which time they can do whatever they like and eat whatever they like on their own dime, provided they are back and ready to perform by some specified time. They can even trade off with colleagues so that one might cover the first half of the reception and another might cover the second half, or some such arrangement.

To remind you, I said that I would be willing to feed my vendors, but they are not entitled to gourmet, high-quality meals on my dime even if they are being paid fees of thousands of dollars, and for them to expect it comes off as very entitled-in some cases beyond the value of what they are providing.

I don't understand where the bolded is coming from. Nowhere did anyone mention a contract that stipulated the vendor get better food than the guests, nor have I ever heard of it. They want a comparable meal, and it should be considered at the time you're budgeting whether you can afford a vendor. I calculated my photographer's fee plus album costs plus prints plus her meal in deciding whether to hire her.

I don't think they're necessarily entitled to a comparable meal. It really depends on what menu one is serving in the first place, the services the vendors in question are actually providing, and the actual hours of their work. If they're working the whole night and actually shooting photos the whole time or singing and playing instruments, then yes, I'd provide more and/or more expensive food and drinks for them. But if they're only there for an hour or so, or the work they're doing is pretty light, then no, I wouldn't. And if they tried to make that a term of their contracts, I'd renegotiate or find someone else.

jynxiie · September 2014

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.

I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...

So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Cookie Pusher · September 2014

We fed our vendors the same meals as our guests since we had a buffet. We had two options of how we could do this:

Let them grab plates and eat in another building: Free
Give them seats at a table at the reception: Half price

We chose to give all our vendors seats at our tables among our guests so they could eat in comfort while still being close enough if we needed them for something. We even invited all of our vendors to come on the bar crawl after the wedding. Our photographers were the only ones who took us up on it, but they appreciated the offer so much that they took their cameras and got some really awesome pictures. Definitely worth the food and drinks we provided them throughout the day!

Jen4948 · September 2014

jynxiie said:

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.
I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...
So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.

banana468 · September 2014

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.
I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...
So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.

They can be entitled to whatever is in their contract. You can dislike it but if you don't negotiate that's on you.

I don't believe in serving the vendors a meal that's better than the guests' meals but I don't think it should be less than their meal either. Our DJ specifically requested a hot meal and no sandwich. He set up before our reception and played for the full 6 hours of it. It was a low price to pay to keep him happy.

Jessie42613 · September 2014

Jen4948 said: jynxiie said: I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us. I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful... So these people really do deserve some food!
I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.
Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.

---

I don't think anyone in this thread said they worked with or encountered a vendor who required an expensive, gourmet meal when the guest meals were simple sandwiches or burgers, yet you keep bringing this up.

Most of the vendor contracts mentioned here have said "a meal comparable to that of the guests." Even the one or two who specifically requested hot meals make no mention of anything gourmet. A burger is still hot!

I'm close friends with several photographers and DJs - no lie, there is a venue in Newport RI, Bel Mer, that is a $200/$250 per person venue. Super upscale. Know how vendors there get treated? They are fed PB&J and made to sit on the floor in a service hallway, while the guests quite literally get filet and lobster tail. Yeah, let me feed my photographer and DOC a PB&J on the floor at 7pm when they've been with me since 10am. Not. This is the type of situation those contract clauses are designed to prevent.

Now all that being said, if a vendor STILL insists on a hot or gourmet meal when you're really, truly serving simple, cold sandwiches, then they are a diva and are being unreasonable, and you should look elsewhere.

Jen4948 · September 2014

banana468 said:

jynxiie said:

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.
I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...
So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.
They can be entitled to whatever is in their contract. You can dislike it but if you don't negotiate that's on you. I don't believe in serving the vendors a meal that's better than the guests' meals but I don't think it should be less than their meal either. Our DJ specifically requested a hot meal and no sandwich. He set up before our reception and played for the full 6 hours of it. It was a low price to pay to keep him happy.

This is what I think is inappropriate. What if you were serving sandwiches and no hot meals? Was he going to blow you off or refuse to work for you? However long he was playing, he was not your guest and he gave you what I think was an inappropriately entitled attitude in negotiating for work.

I don't believe that vendors should dictate the terms of their meals except for allergies, etc.

jynxiie · September 2014

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.
I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...
So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.

I think you misread my post.

I also feel like my vendor has whatever right to demand what they'd like on their contract. It's up to us if we'd like to continue mind you, no one is forcing us to use them.

I also wouldn't really count them eating dinner being a break for the DJ/Photographer/Etc... He can't exactly go anywhere, relax, etc... It's more just a chance to sneak so food in. The DJ for example will still have to ensure there is music playing even if it's an already set playlist.

Jen4948 · September 2014

jynxiie said:

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.
I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...
So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.

I think you misread my post.
I also feel like my vendor has whatever right to demand what they'd like on their contract. It's up to us if we'd like to continue mind you, no one is forcing us to use them.
I also wouldn't really count them eating dinner being a break for the DJ/Photographer/Etc... He can't exactly go anywhere, relax, etc... It's more just a chance to sneak so food in. The DJ for example will still have to ensure there is music playing even if it's an already set playlist.

I don't think vendors have the right to demand anything they want in terms of food in their contracts-especially if it's out of proportion to whatever else they would be receiving or what the guests would receive. He can demand a meal, but I think it's not appropriate of him to specify that it can't be a sandwich if you're not serving your guests more than that, or higher quality than that. If he doesn't want to eat a sandwich, that's really his problem. He shouldn't be making it yours.

jynxiie · September 2014

I'm not agreeing that it would be appropriate in asking for a higher quality meal then the guests. I'm just saying he has the right to make his own contract with his own terms - just like you have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not interested".

Jen4948 · September 2014

jynxiie said:

I'm not agreeing that it would be appropriate in asking for a higher quality meal then the guests. I'm just saying he has the right to make his own contract with his own terms - just like you have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not interested".

Well, I think he's in for disappointment if he tries to force contract terms on people that would give him a more expensive meal then they can budget for-especially if they're serving their guests sandwiches. He needs to grow up.

lyndausvi · September 2014

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

jynxiie said:

I personally didn't even ask my vendors if they were eating, I just went ahead and assumed they'd be eating with us.
I put them at tables where they'd like the guests too. I seriously love my vendors though... Especially my planner and make up artist - I'd invite them as guests if they weren't my vendors at this point! We connect so well.

I can't believe they get offered sandwiches while others are eating gourmet meals... I've worked plenty of jobs where I didn't get a break for 8 hours and let me tell you... It's awful...
So these people really do deserve some food!

I'm going to be making sure my photographer eats breakfast, lunch and dinner... I want him to be really happy so he gets amazing shots at us. Don't resentful shots for giving him a sandwich.

Sorry, but working eight hours, with a lunch break, is a normal working shift for most people, and about all they get, assuming that their employer pays for lunch for them at all, is sandwiches.

Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like.
They can be entitled to whatever is in their contract. You can dislike it but if you don't negotiate that's on you. I don't believe in serving the vendors a meal that's better than the guests' meals but I don't think it should be less than their meal either. Our DJ specifically requested a hot meal and no sandwich. He set up before our reception and played for the full 6 hours of it. It was a low price to pay to keep him happy.

This is what I think is inappropriate. What if you were serving sandwiches and no hot meals? Was he going to blow you off or refuse to work for you? However long he was playing, he was not your guest and he gave you what I think was an inappropriately entitled attitude in negotiating for work.

I don't believe that vendors should dictate the terms of their meals except for allergies, etc.

As a vendor they have the right to put whatever they want in a contract. As a consumer you have the right to not use them or negotiate the contract. If a vendor said they want a hot meal and your are having finger sandwiches then explain your menu and they can decide to modify that line or choose to to work for you. I'm fairly certain a vendor will pick the job over the hot meal.

A lot of times these types of conditions are based on how long they are working for you. Simple cake and punch wedding that last a few hours do not often demand food. A 10+ hour reception that goes over 1-2 meals a meal break is needed.

And yes, just like the general public there are assholes out there. The band I mentioned it still on DH's case about the food. DH didn't hire them. He is in no way part of the contract between them and the clients. Yet they are still on his case about the menu. It's messed up. If they want steak then they can pay for it or negotiate with the clients. Leave DH out of it.

I'm happy to say this band is the exception. Most vendors are just appreciative of whatever they are offered.

tcnoble · September 2014

Not a single vendor we have signed contracts with has anything about requiring a meal. Our meal is buffet so I'm not worried about making sure we have enough entrees, but do we need to straight up ask each vendor if they would like a seat and meal?? I had hoped combing through contracts would remedy this but alas, nothing about food from any of them.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2014

tcnoble said:

Not a single vendor we have signed contracts with has anything about requiring a meal. Our meal is buffet so I'm not worried about making sure we have enough entrees, but do we need to straight up ask each vendor if they would like a seat and meal?? I had hoped combing through contracts would remedy this but alas, nothing about food from any of them.

If they are going to be with you, working during a meal time, then I would provide a meal for them without even asking. As a courtesy though, you should check with each vendor and ask them what type of meal they would like and if they have any food issues or allergies.

Ask your venue what their vendor meal options are, and if that sounds acceptable to you and it's acceptable to your vendors, as in they don't stipulate that they require a guest meal, then order a vendor meal for each vendor. If they require the equivalent to a guest meal then negotiate with your venue to see if they will provide those meals to you for a discounted rate.

Cookie Pusher · September 2014

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I'm not agreeing that it would be appropriate in asking for a higher quality meal then the guests. I'm just saying he has the right to make his own contract with his own terms - just like you have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not interested".

Well, I think he's in for disappointment if he tries to force contract terms on people that would give him a more expensive meal then they can budget for-especially if they're serving their guests sandwiches. He needs to grow up.

You are so freaking hung up on the idea that vendors can't put whatever they want in their contracts, but guess what? So long as it is legal (like, they can't demand drugs or sexual services), they can. It's up to the consumer to decide if the terms are acceptable to them or not. No one HAS to sign the contract as is. You are free to attempt negotiations with the vendor or to not sign with them. No one putting a gun to your head and saying you HAVE to sign a contract with a vendor whose terms are more than you are willing to agree to.

How many people go in and interview for jobs then negotiate the terms of their employment before they agree to start work? It's the same premise. As the employee, you can decide what terms YOU want (salary, vacation time, etc.) and the employer can either agree, negotiate, or decline to hire you. If you don't like the terms being dictated, you're not being forced to agree to them. It's not like there's only one photographer in the world. Don't want to have to feed them? Find someone who doesn't require it.

jenajjthr · September 2014

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I'm not agreeing that it would be appropriate in asking for a higher quality meal then the guests. I'm just saying he has the right to make his own contract with his own terms - just like you have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not interested".

Well, I think he's in for disappointment if he tries to force contract terms on people that would give him a more expensive meal then they can budget for-especially if they're serving their guests sandwiches. He needs to grow up.

Why are you so adamant on not feeding your vendor, most likely photog and DJ, a decent meal? Most put it into their contracts because they have been screwed by clients like you. Worked all day with no food.

Unlike normal people with jobs, they don't get to leave or get time off to eat. DJ's are on from the time they get to the reception, setting up all the gear, emcee'ing the event, making sure the music is playing at all times, then staying after everybody leaves to tear down the equipment. They don't get to clock out and go eat. As the bride, would you want the music to just stop for 30 minutes while they did?

Same with the photographer? He/She will most likely be with you for a very long time. Sorry, can't take the after wedding photo shots, it's my lunch break, buh bye. Sorry can't take the wedding cake shots, it's my dinner break, bye.

These people normally eat at the reception, normally stopping while they are eating to start working again, just to make your day the best it can be. The ones who insist on a hot meal, the same meal the guests are eating (gourmet in your head) is to ensure that they don't get screwed with a crappy sandwich meal. If for some reason your reception is sandwiches, I'm sure a contract can be negotiated or they will say sorry, I'm not interested.

But if you insist that hey they are just like every other working person out there and can bring their own food and take a 30 minute dinner break, they may take you up on that.....during a key photo opportunity, Just don't come whining to us when they do.

MGP · September 2014

jenajjthr said:

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I'm not agreeing that it would be appropriate in asking for a higher quality meal then the guests. I'm just saying he has the right to make his own contract with his own terms - just like you have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not interested".

Well, I think he's in for disappointment if he tries to force contract terms on people that would give him a more expensive meal then they can budget for-especially if they're serving their guests sandwiches. He needs to grow up.

Why are you so adamant on not feeding your vendor, most likely photog and DJ, a decent meal? Most put it into their contracts because they have been screwed by clients like you. Worked all day with no food.

Unlike normal people with jobs, they don't get to leave or get time off to eat. DJ's are on from the time they get to the reception, setting up all the gear, emcee'ing the event, making sure the music is playing at all times, then staying after everybody leaves to tear down the equipment. They don't get to clock out and go eat. As the bride, would you want the music to just stop for 30 minutes while they did?

Same with the photographer? He/She will most likely be with you for a very long time. Sorry, can't take the after wedding photo shots, it's my lunch break, buh bye. Sorry can't take the wedding cake shots, it's my dinner break, bye.

These people normally eat at the reception, normally stopping while they are eating to start working again, just to make your day the best it can be. The ones who insist on a hot meal, the same meal the guests are eating (gourmet in your head) is to ensure that they don't get screwed with a crappy sandwich meal. If for some reason your reception is sandwiches, I'm sure a contract can be negotiated or they will say sorry, I'm not interested.

But if you insist that hey they are just like every other working person out there and can bring their own food and take a 30 minute dinner break, they may take you up on that.....during a key photo opportunity, Just don't come whining to us when they do.

This 1000%.

There are those a hole vendors out there that would in fact try to force a "nicer" meal than the guests in their contracts. But I truly believe that most reasonable people out there would not do this. Vendors put things like this in their contract to prevent themselves being put into a Bridezilla situation where no one gets fed. You know they happen, there are stories posted on here all the time of the bridal party not being allowed to eat for hours on end. If a couple doesn't want to feed their wedding party what makes anyone think they would feed their vendors?

And any terms of a contract are always just a "jumping off" point. Just as you can negotiate rates you can negotiate everything else. I could seriously see this conversation happening between most reasonable brides and most reasonable vendors: (reasonable being the operative word here)

Bride: "Vendor, I noticed that your contract stipulates a hot meal served during your time working at our wedding. This is a cake and punch reception that will last about three hours. Honestly I can't put myself in a position where I am feeding my vendors a full meal and not my guests. I am sorry if this will prevent us from working together"

Vendor: "Oh, OK. Yes, cake and punch is just fine for an afternoon wedding"

And for what it's worth do you know the best way to make sure your vendors do outstanding work? Feed them.

huskypuppy14 · September 2014

Contracts can be negotiated people. My mom crossed out 15,000 (or whatever number it was) and wrote 12,000 (or whatever) for the venue minimum on my sisters reception. The venue was fine with that. I think they ended up meeting the 15,000 anyway, so it was a moot point.

Anyone can negotiate a contract. It's jerks like the band in Lynda's H's situation that are being ridiculous, not normal reasonable vendors.

@LyndausVI why is your H in the middle of this. Can't he just say, you need to talk to the B&G not me? I don't really understand this.

Jen4948 · September 2014

MGP said:

jenajjthr said:

Jen4948 said:

jynxiie said:

I'm not agreeing that it would be appropriate in asking for a higher quality meal then the guests. I'm just saying he has the right to make his own contract with his own terms - just like you have the right to say "Sorry, I'm not interested".

Well, I think he's in for disappointment if he tries to force contract terms on people that would give him a more expensive meal then they can budget for-especially if they're serving their guests sandwiches. He needs to grow up.

Why are you so adamant on not feeding your vendor, most likely photog and DJ, a decent meal? Most put it into their contracts because they have been screwed by clients like you. Worked all day with no food.

Unlike normal people with jobs, they don't get to leave or get time off to eat. DJ's are on from the time they get to the reception, setting up all the gear, emcee'ing the event, making sure the music is playing at all times, then staying after everybody leaves to tear down the equipment. They don't get to clock out and go eat. As the bride, would you want the music to just stop for 30 minutes while they did?

Same with the photographer? He/She will most likely be with you for a very long time. Sorry, can't take the after wedding photo shots, it's my lunch break, buh bye. Sorry can't take the wedding cake shots, it's my dinner break, bye.

These people normally eat at the reception, normally stopping while they are eating to start working again, just to make your day the best it can be. The ones who insist on a hot meal, the same meal the guests are eating (gourmet in your head) is to ensure that they don't get screwed with a crappy sandwich meal. If for some reason your reception is sandwiches, I'm sure a contract can be negotiated or they will say sorry, I'm not interested.

But if you insist that hey they are just like every other working person out there and can bring their own food and take a 30 minute dinner break, they may take you up on that.....during a key photo opportunity, Just don't come whining to us when they do.

This 1000%.

There are those a hole vendors out there that would in fact try to force a "nicer" meal than the guests in their contracts. But I truly believe that most reasonable people out there would not do this. Vendors put things like this in their contract to prevent themselves being put into a Bridezilla situation where no one gets fed. You know they happen, there are stories posted on here all the time of the bridal party not being allowed to eat for hours on end. If a couple doesn't want to feed their wedding party what makes anyone think they would feed their vendors?

And any terms of a contract are always just a "jumping off" point. Just as you can negotiate rates you can negotiate everything else. I could seriously see this conversation happening between most reasonable brides and most reasonable vendors: (reasonable being the operative word here)

Bride: "Vendor, I noticed that your contract stipulates a hot meal served during your time working at our wedding. This is a cake and punch reception that will last about three hours. Honestly I can't put myself in a position where I am feeding my vendors a full meal and not my guests. I am sorry if this will prevent us from working together"

Vendor: "Oh, OK. Yes, cake and punch is just fine for an afternoon wedding"

And for what it's worth do you know the best way to make sure your vendors do outstanding work? Feed them.

Where are you getting that I'm "adamant" about "not serving them a decent meal" ????

I've said all along, in every single one of my posts, that I would feed them a decent meal and give them the time they need to eat it.

Where I've expressed any disagreement is what constitutes a "decent meal." Sandwiches can be a decent meal-especially if that's what the guests are getting. But it bothers me that that's considered not good enough for a vendor. I'm sorry, but I don't think they're entitled to a really expensive meal on my dime-especially if I'm not serving that to myself or my guests. I'd negotiate that.

jenajjthr · September 2014

"Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like."

"I don't believe that vendors should dictate the terms of their meals except for allergies, etc."

"I don't think vendors have the right to demand anything they want in terms of food in their contracts-especially if it's out of proportion to whatever else they would be receiving or what the guests would receive. He can demand a meal, but I think it's not appropriate of him to specify that it can't be a sandwich if you're not serving your guests more than that, or higher quality than that. If he doesn't want to eat a sandwich, that's really his problem. He shouldn't be making it yours."

"Where I've expressed any disagreement is what constitutes a "decent meal." Sandwiches can be a decent meal-especially if that's what the guests are getting. But it bothers me that that's considered not good enough for a vendor. I'm sorry, but I don't think they're entitled to a really expensive meal on my dime-especially if I'm not serving that to myself or my guests. I'd negotiate that."

Jen4948, the above are your quotes. No you haven't out and out stated you won't feed your vendors. But you have stated you won't let them put it in their contract, you won't feed them a hot meal if you aren't feeding it to your guests (regardless of the fact that we all agree with you on that point), that they shouldn't dictate the terms of their meals, that a sandwich is okay for a working person because that is all the rest of us get.

We are trying to tell you that IF you are serving a hot meal to your guests then serving a hot meal to your vendors is the proper thing to do as well. IF you are serving less to your guests then serving the same to your vendors is the proper thing there as well. But to think a sandwich is okay while your guests get the porterhouses, that is not okay. Your vendors are now not getting a decent meal. I would assume that a reception that would have porterhouses would be longer, require more work on the part of your vendor, and a sandwich would not be enough to satisfy them and keep them going.

Your argument that your boss doesn't provide you food doesn't hold weight and has been addressed. You get an actual break, you get to actually stop working. These people don't get to stop working, they don't get to leave, they don't get any breaks. They are "on" for hours and hours. You providing the same food to your guests is the right thing to do, regardless of the price it is to your bottom line.

Now if you are actually providing sandwiches at your wedding, not just a hypothetical to make an argument here on this board....find a vendor who is okay with that. Most will be.

lyndausvi · September 2014

huskypuppy14 said:

Contracts can be negotiated people. My mom crossed out 15,000 (or whatever number it was) and wrote 12,000 (or whatever) for the venue minimum on my sisters reception. The venue was fine with that. I think they ended up meeting the 15,000 anyway, so it was a moot point.

Anyone can negotiate a contract. It's jerks like the band in Lynda's H's situation that are being ridiculous, not normal reasonable vendors.

@LyndausVI why is your H in the middle of this. Can't he just say, you need to talk to the B&G not me? I don't really understand this.

Not sure. I think it was more "oh, let's not deal with the bride when she is so busy. The chef might be too stupid to know who he takes orders from". IDK? They ended up with mac-n-cheese, chicken tenders, waffle fries and salad bar.

While back I worked a wedding where a 80's red-headed country singer performed. The band requested 1 case of pellegrino, 1 case of still water, 1 case of gatorade, full hot meal (the band were the first the buffet line (not the singer). They hit the line when the couple were saying their vows), a separate room to eat and another room with carpet, chair and full length mirror. That does not include their travel demands. Oh and those requests were over and above their 6-figure fee.

Jen4948 · September 2014

jenajjthr said:

"Wedding vendors are entitled to a meal and a break to eat it, but are not entitled to an expensive gourmet meal just because they are performing at a wedding. If you want to provide one, more power to you, but they have no right to expect and demand one as part of their contract, especially if the meal that is being served to guests consists of sandwiches or hamburgers or the like."

"I don't believe that vendors should dictate the terms of their meals except for allergies, etc."

"I don't think vendors have the right to demand anything they want in terms of food in their contracts-especially if it's out of proportion to whatever else they would be receiving or what the guests would receive. He can demand a meal, but I think it's not appropriate of him to specify that it can't be a sandwich if you're not serving your guests more than that, or higher quality than that. If he doesn't want to eat a sandwich, that's really his problem. He shouldn't be making it yours."

"Where I've expressed any disagreement is what constitutes a "decent meal." Sandwiches can be a decent meal-especially if that's what the guests are getting. But it bothers me that that's considered not good enough for a vendor. I'm sorry, but I don't think they're entitled to a really expensive meal on my dime-especially if I'm not serving that to myself or my guests. I'd negotiate that."

Jen4948, the above are your quotes. No you haven't out and out stated you won't feed your vendors. But you have stated you won't let them put it in their contract, you won't feed them a hot meal if you aren't feeding it to your guests (regardless of the fact that we all agree with you on that point), that they shouldn't dictate the terms of their meals, that a sandwich is okay for a working person because that is all the rest of us get.

We are trying to tell you that IF you are serving a hot meal to your guests then serving a hot meal to your vendors is the proper thing to do as well. IF you are serving less to your guests then serving the same to your vendors is the proper thing there as well. But to think a sandwich is okay while your guests get the porterhouses, that is not okay. Your vendors are now not getting a decent meal. I would assume that a reception that would have porterhouses would be longer, require more work on the part of your vendor, and a sandwich would not be enough to satisfy them and keep them going.

Your argument that your boss doesn't provide you food doesn't hold weight and has been addressed. You get an actual break, you get to actually stop working. These people don't get to stop working, they don't get to leave, they don't get any breaks. They are "on" for hours and hours. You providing the same food to your guests is the right thing to do, regardless of the price it is to your bottom line.

Now if you are actually providing sandwiches at your wedding, not just a hypothetical to make an argument here on this board....find a vendor who is okay with that. Most will be.

Why don't we agree to disagree? I don't agree that my arguments "don't hold water."

For one thing, all of my quotes that you list indicate that I do think vendors are entitled to a meal and even some time to eat it-just as everyone else does.

For another, I agree with everyone that no one is entitled to more than sandwiches if that or the equivalent is all that's being served. If the reception is a cake-and-punch or a cocktail reception, then the vendors are entitled to that.

Whether or not they're entitled to more than that, or more than sandwiches, I don't agree with. I don't agree that they're entitled to hot meals even before negotiations start or whether I'm serving my guests that.

Vendors are not guests. They are going to receive the financial equivalent of what I am paying for for my guests, in all likelihood. But I am not asking for the honor of the presence or the pleasure of the company of the vendors, and that's why I don't think I owe them hot meals or expensive meals just because I am serving them to my guests. There is a difference between being a vendor and a guest.

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