@CMGragain

larrygaga · September 2014

CMGragain said:

After living in the Washington, DC area for 33 years, I can assure you that people do notice if you are not properly dressed. I was at an awards banquet once, and an acquaintance of mine insisted on wearing a tuxedo. He was the only man out of 300 wearing one, and he was very uncomfortable.
@larrygaga, formal dress is fine in the daytime - just not formal EVENING dress! Formal daytime dress is a morning coat (cutaway), and men look fabulous in them.
Tuxedo rules exist, whether or not you like them. Ladies have dress rules, too. Would you wear a clubbing dress to church? I hope not. It is a free country, and yes, you can wear what you want, but nobody wants to feel like my friend who showed up to the awards banquet as the only man in a tuxedo.

I wouldn't wear a clubbing dress to church because I'm not a skank. That is a terrible analogy.

missdelilah · September 2014

@CMGragain: I loved that site. It was really hilarious. Fortunately a lot of them were obviously designer shots, and can hope that some of them were never purchased. That's more about my personal taste, rather than anything else though. I know people who love some of the items on that site.

@larrygaga: I thought the not wearing revealing clothes to church was less about you (in the hypothetical) being a skank, but because we've decided that men can't control their thoughts around women showing off a bit of skin, and it would be improper to incite immoral thoughts in a church, even though it's not remotely your fault. So, more of a consideration to other church goers, than saying anything the hypothetical you. Not that long ago, there were clearer standards of what people considered modest (and this is a term that comes up in the Bible a lot) and what they didn't. I feel like it's a free for all on most occasions now. Did any of that make sense, or is it bedtime for me?

@KatieinBkln: were you talking about Brideshead Revisited, or did I read a ton of books, and watch two different versions of the Forsyte Saga and completely miss a character named Sebastian? I do have the more recent version on DVD, so might have to go back over it - FI will love that. It's what he classifies as "boring British stuff" because somehow people's interpersonal relationships are 500 times less interesting if people aren't wearing current clothing.

ETA: Paragraphs.

Sugargirl1019 · September 2014

I agree with you @CMGragain

I had a miniature fit in my mind when I realized that no one would wear tuxedos to my 6pm wedding. I had downtown abbey envisioned in my head!

And then I got over it... Because I'm not a bridezilla bitch.. Kinda. But I cared. I SO cared.

CMGragain · September 2014

If you were envisioning Downton Abbey, you envisioned morning coats! Weddings in the UK were held in the daytime, since many churches didn't have electricity. Evening weddings have only become popular in the USA relatively recently - 1970s.

Sugargirl1019 · September 2014

CMGragain said:
If you were envisioning Downton Abbey, you envisioned morning coats! Weddings in the UK were held in the daytime, since many churches didn't have electricity. Evening weddings have only become popular in the USA relatively recently - 1970s.

Okay not REALLY downtown abbey. You're so technical

But they do wear white tie garb at dinner, right? And change into a tuxedo to go play cards?

CMGragain · September 2014

larrygaga said:

CMGragain said:

After living in the Washington, DC area for 33 years, I can assure you that people do notice if you are not properly dressed. I was at an awards banquet once, and an acquaintance of mine insisted on wearing a tuxedo. He was the only man out of 300 wearing one, and he was very uncomfortable.
@larrygaga, formal dress is fine in the daytime - just not formal EVENING dress! Formal daytime dress is a morning coat (cutaway), and men look fabulous in them.
Tuxedo rules exist, whether or not you like them. Ladies have dress rules, too. Would you wear a clubbing dress to church? I hope not. It is a free country, and yes, you can wear what you want, but nobody wants to feel like my friend who showed up to the awards banquet as the only man in a tuxedo.

I wouldn't wear a clubbing dress to church because I'm not a skank. That is a terrible analogy.

Unfortunately, I do see this in church, usually worn by very young women. I try not to judge a book by its cover, but why didn't their mothers teach them better sense? That's what usually pops into my head.
When I see someone wearing formal evening clothes in the daytime, I assume that they just don't know any better. Same thought.

ashley8918 · September 2014

lurkergirl said:

ashley8918 said:

I must be totally uncultured, because I honestly do not know the difference between a tux and a suit. They look like the same damn thing to me.

GTFO, heathen! You are not qualified to comment here.

levieenrose · September 2014

slothiegal said:

beethery said:

The only time I have ever given a rat's ass about tux timing.

Our wedding is starting at 5, and I told FI if he wanted to wear a tux for that, he could go right ahead.

No fair, @beethery, you beat me to the gif!!

slothieguy is a very casual guy. Jeans and t-shirts are basically all he wears, including to work. When we started discussing wedding attire, I told him he didn't have to wear a tux and asked what he would be most comfortable in. He looks at me, surprised, and goes,

"But I want to wear a tux!"

I was flabbergasted. He went on, "How many times am I going to get to wear a tux in my life? I want a tux."

And at our 4:30 wedding, he stood up there wearing his tux and looking mighty damn handsome, if I do say so myself.

EXACTLY! DH did the same thing which was pretty damned adorable. And then when I asked if I could come with him to help select something he looked at me piteously and said, "But don't you want it to be a surprise?" Obviously if he's surprised by my wedding dress then I should be surprised by him in a tux. So I decided to trust that the Men's Wearhouse folk wouldn't let him walk out looking terrible...

Our wedding was at noon. He was dressed and shmoozing with guests before 11AM. He was dashing and beaming and so finely dressed that I couldn't have cared if Jackie Kennedy herself saw and judged.

However, I do appreciate the black tie guide, @CMGragain. Thanks!

SmileDamnit · September 2014

The amount of fucks I give about the timing of when it's proper to wear a tux is equal to the amount I give to guests wearing white to a wedding, both of which equal a big, fat Z.E.R.O.

Proper hosting of guests is where I choose to focus my energy. I'm too lazy after that investment to worry about other people's attire.

KatieinBkln · September 2014

missdelilah said:
@KatieinBkln: were you talking about Brideshead Revisited, or did I read a ton of books, and watch two different versions of the Forsyte Saga and completely miss a character named Sebastian? I do have the more recent version on DVD, so might have to go back over it - FI will love that. It's what he classifies as "boring British stuff" because somehow people's interpersonal relationships are 500 times less interesting if people aren't wearing current clothing.

@missdelilah, FACEPALM. Of course, you're right, it's Brideshead! Ugh, even as I was typing it I was like, "No, not the one with the guy from Band of Brothers/Homeland, the other one" but it didn't help, apparently. Thanks for the correction!

ETA: tried 3 times for paragraphs. Not happening, I guess.

KatieinBkln · September 2014

CMGragain said:

Check out that website. It has tons of information on it. I love this page! LOL!

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Hall_of_Shame.htm

I am in love with this!

A gem from the "formal evening weddings" page:

"No matter how little interest you have in clothing in general, remember that your clothing reflects who you are as a man and carefully consider the implications of allowing your fiancée to base your outfit on the color of the bridesmaids' dresses. At best you will be on par with a little girl's dressed-up puppy and at worst you will be reduced to the status of a matching handbag. She may resent your independence in the short term but in the long run your marriage will benefit from your refusal to begin it as a sartorial eunuch."

LondonLisa · September 2014

I'm surprised at this. I completely agree with @CMGragain with regards to the rules. If you want to break them, go ahead, but I think the important part is break them with a "Idontgiveadamnism" (fantastic phrase!) but not with the "I refuse to awknowledge these rules exist". I realise where I am from the rules may be a tad different, however, if you saw the Royal wedding, you would see all the gents were in morning coats and top hats, which is appropriate dress for pre-6pm.

It is in the same vein as wearing a hat after sundown, yes it is a victim-less crime, but it still looks a tad silly.

Kahlyla · September 2014

I don't really give a damn about what other people want to wear and I take no issue with rule-breaking, but like some of the above posters, I do love knowing the rules! I find them fascinating.

theartistformerlyknownas · September 2014

LondonLisa said:

I'm surprised at this. I completely agree with @CMGragain with regards to the rules. If you want to break them, go ahead, but I think the important part is break them with a "Idontgiveadamnism" (fantastic phrase!) but not with the "I refuse to awknowledge these rules exist". I realise where I am from the rules may be a tad different, however, if you saw the Royal wedding, you would see all the gents were in morning coats and top hats, which is appropriate dress for pre-6pm.

It is in the same vein as wearing a hat after sundown, yes it is a victim-less crime, but it still looks a tad silly.

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see anyone saying "I don't wanna know the rules, la la la can't hear you!" And nobody said "I think the rule is you can wear a tux at 10am provided Mercury isn't in retrograde and there's an easterly wind." More a general eyeroll at the continued awestruck pearl clutching and shock that anyone might deign to wear evening attire in the afternoon, and impression that the WHOLE WORLD will think you're a heathen if you're dressed inappropriately. Yeah, got it, we're breaking the rules. None of this is news, we just don't care.

levieenrose · September 2014

lolo883 said: LondonLisa said: I'm surprised at this. I completely agree with @CMGragain with regards to the rules. If you want to break them, go ahead, but I think the important part is break them with a "Idontgiveadamnism" (fantastic phrase!) but not with the "I refuse to awknowledge these rules exist". I realise where I am from the rules may be a tad different, however, if you saw the Royal wedding, you would see all the gents were in morning coats and top hats, which is appropriate dress for pre-6pm.
It is in the same vein as wearing a hat after sundown, yes it is a victim-less crime, but it still looks a tad silly. Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see anyone saying "I don't wanna know the rules, la la la can't hear you!" And nobody said "I think the rule is you can wear a tux at 10am provided Mercury isn't in retrograde and there's an easterly wind." More a general eyeroll at the continued awestruck pearl clutching and shock that anyone might deign to wear evening attire in the afternoon, and impression that the WHOLE WORLD will think you're a heathen if you're dressed inappropriately. Yeah, got it, we're breaking the rules. None of this is news, we just don't care.

---
Hahaha! Oh, that's why DH did it!

ETA: Boxes not working

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