tk confessions

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

Oh I'd totally do boudoir photos. Before I have kids and still have this hot ass? Yes please, immortalize me in hot freaking photos only for my husband's eyes, lol. I'm just way too cheap to actually go through with it. But my husband would LOVE them, guaranteed.

pirategal03 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:27feb3fa-759b-4018-b85c-ca3aed9bf9a3">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : Yeah it's a southern thing. I remember one bride explaining to me that she would have one of her bridal portraints up at her wedding. WTF? You really want a picture sitting there of you in all your bridal get-up as people walk into your wedding? Dumb.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

It's super common. You get your photos done the same day you have your hair trial, so you're not actually getting dolled up any additional times. The little old ladies LOOOOOOVE the big photo, because they can get up close and be all judgy about your dress/hair/whatever without saying it to your face. Or, they can look at the dress and then have some detail to ask about when you're visiting with them.

My TK Confession: I actually do care about the etiquette stuff that most people brush off. I usually don't say anything because what I'd say would be called the "party line" but there's a reasoon etiquette exists.

And, I don't throw away invitations or thank-you notes. They matter. People shouldn't "just throw them away anyway." Rage.

Girlie1030 · June 2012

I don't get when posters get all up in arms when someone says they're "I'm kind of OCD about that though" (or the like). I think a lot of people have OCD tendencies and by saying so doesn't mean they're making light of the disorder.

brandichamberlain · June 2012

I got some boudoir shots done and my self esteem was boosted 100% afterwards. They are some of my favorite pictures of myself ever. Mine were very tasteful though.

midgetthemighty · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:749686de-4195-4a13-ab4d-9172967a9a85">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : WTF? The only way a dollar dance would be prostitution is if the bride/groom were banging their guests during the dance.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]

This is as far as I've gotten, but I was at a wedding where they sat the groom down in a chair, played "Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen and gave him lap dances. Even his MIL participated. Holy awkward batman.

Still though, comparing all dollar dances to prostitution is extreme.

pirategal03 · June 2012

I'd much rather see a bridal portrait at a wedding than a dollar dance, or any variation thereof.

amys325 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:5cfb7e37-62cd-4da4-978e-003a98fff811">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : It's super common. You get your photos done the same day you have your hair trial, so you're not actually getting dolled up any additional times. The little old ladies LOOOOOOVE the big photo, because they can get up close and be all judgy about your dress/hair/whatever without saying it to your face. Or, they can look at the dress and then have some detail to ask about when you're visiting with them. My TK Confession: I actually do care about the etiquette stuff that most people brush off. I usually don't say anything because what I'd say would be called the "party line" but there's a reasoon etiquette exists. <strong>And, I don't throw away invitations or thank-you notes. They matter. People shouldn't "just throw them away anyway." Rag</strong>e.
Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

<div>Do you keep them forever?</div><div>
</div><div>What do you think people should do with them? I don't have enough room in my house to keep old invites/thank you notes from past weddings. It's clutter and a waste of space.</div><div>
</div><div>I guess that's an "I don't get it" for me. </div>

LP11509 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:3d2fbcbe-8fa6-49c2-86b3-5a064a56f9f4">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Any was poking fun at herself several times about it too. She was upfront about the immigration issues, and everyone knew about it. Although there is a double standard about certain posters and newbs, LP. Always has been, and always will be (imo).
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

<div>I get that she was honest about it. I also get that it's harder to judge someone that you consider a friend than it is someone who is new and you don't know all of the background for. It was just the example that jumped out at me. </div>

LesPaul · June 2012

I'll take a cash bar or beer/wine only over a dry wedding any day, too. Last week's festivities featured bottled water in large tubs of ice.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:b29bcf02-90e9-48e5-bd33-faa57a2fa6e6">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : AW much? Good lord. Cash bars...well I'd rather have that than beer/wine only or dry. Idk, I've only been to one wedding that had a cash bar and there was much other tacky sh!t that I was super glad to be able to buy some booze at least. I still remember that wedding as being one of the weirdest and tackiest that I've ever been to. Ugh. And they're divorced now, not surprisingly. That bride was real speshul.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

And I'm the opposite - I think I've been to one completely hosted bar wedding. All the others have been partially hosted or cash bars. We hosted champagne and a keg of beer, the rest guests had to pay for. Oooooooh well.

In our circles here, alcohol is a luxury. Everyone's gotta eat - not everyone's gotta drink, or even will drink, free bar or not.

And this may make me sound like a real asshole, but people get way trashed at weddings here if it's open bar. <em>Trashed. </em>They get trashed when they have to pay for it too but when the booze is free, it's actually pretty shameful. You'd think adults would know how to conduct themselves at a nice event, but not many times from what I've seen. I think our keg was gone after 20 minutes. Twenty freaking minutes - because people pound the free drinks so they can get there before they have to pay for it. It's insane.

So yeah I guess that's why I don't give a shiiit about cash bars. Everyone does them here and no one cares.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I throw away thank you cards. I see no need to keep them. And, if you've thanked me in person, then I don't even need one in the first place.

pirategal03 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:a5979bff-82a6-4d6d-ae94-92dcfb6e712c">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : Do you keep them forever? What do you think people should do with them? I don't have enough room in my house to keep old invites/thank you notes from past weddings. It's clutter and a waste of space. I guess that's an "I don't get it" for me.
Posted by amys325[/QUOTE]

Pretty much. I like to read through old thank-you notes. I don't always keep invitations forever.

Every card we got for our wedding is in a box in my closet, I look at them/re-read them occassionally.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

I still have all our cards, too, pirate. They are in an enormous gift bag in our storage closet. I want to do something nice with them but there are so many it's kind of overwhelming. I'd rather let them sit in there for now than think about it, lol.

andrea2473 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:cf5fd419-c052-47b3-b1e5-f1a54f1564fd">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't get when posters get all up in arms when someone says they're "I'm kind of OCD about that though" (or the like). I think a lot of people have OCD tendencies and by saying so doesn't mean they're making light of the disorder.
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]

This only bothers me when they use it as a reason to be rude. Like if one side of the bridal party drops out and they now have to kick out someone or 'demote' them so they can have even sides. And then they say they are kind of OCD and like things even. No. That's stupid. You are not kind of OCD. You are kind of selfish and rude. If it's a preference and not a mental disorder, than you can't use it to justify your bad decisions.

peekaboo2011 · June 2012

I have a box that I keep invitations/thank yous/birthday cards in. It's nice to go back every now and then and remember.

Megbo2012 · June 2012

I have cards from fourth grade, and letters my mother wrote to me when I was at summer camp.

andrea2473 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:dbbeafcc-b081-47c9-9bca-2b47d6fae7a9">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I still have all our cards, too, pirate. They are in an enormous gift bag in our storage closet. I want to do something nice with them but there are so many it's kind of overwhelming. I'd rather let them sit in there for now than think about it, lol.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I did exactly the same thing. I don't know what to do with them but I can't throw them out. Usually I pick and choose which birthday cards, wedding invitations, etc I will keep, but I can't seem to figure out what to do with our wedding stuff.

Matty143 · June 2012

I also kept all of the wedding cards we received, and the cards from my shower.
They are in a box and I figure that I will eventually put them in a book or something.

I keep other cards that I receive because I feel... guilty?? throwing them away. I just have a big storage box that I toss them in. Its odd, because I am usually quick to get rid of things because I don't like clutter.

Girlie1030 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:1de1bbc1-5211-4364-a1a5-644aa688affa">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: tk confessions : This only bothers me when they use it as a reason to be rude. Like if one side of the bridal party drops out and they now have to kick out someone or 'demote' them so they can have even sides. And then they say they are kind of OCD and like things even. No. That's stupid. You are not kind of OCD. You are kind of selfish and rude. If it's a preference and not a mental disorder, than you can't use it to justify your bad decisions.
Posted by andrea2473[/QUOTE]

Absolutely.

Dang, I must be a cold-heartedbitch - I throw out all invitations as soon as the event is done and have never kept a thank you note. The only card I've ever kept is a HS graduation one that was from my Dad's BF (3 weeks after my Dad died).

cheeseandrice · June 2012

*I think it looks stupid when all the BMs have different dresses.

*I prefer buffets to plated meals.

*I don't mind cash bars in the least. Just don't call it a 'cocktail hour'.

*I think the garter toss is incredibly... skeezy. I do not understand why anyone does that at a wedding.

amys325 · June 2012

I understand keeping the cards, but I don't why other people can't think that invites/thank yous are just trash. To some people (including myself) that's exactly what invites/thank you cards are. Invites are trash after the event happens and I throw out the thank you after H and I read it.

I definitely agree that I prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding.

And LP (I think it was LP), I get what you are saying about Any. Many brides have come in here and mirrored exactly what Any did and they were torn a new one for it. Personally, I'm not bothered by PPDs, so what Any did never bothered me in the least. But there is a double standard around here with friends. It is what it is though and I don't see anything wrong with telling someone they are doing something wrong, but then having them do it anyway.

I've learned a few things that I didn't know were wrong when I got married (joined the boards after my wedding), but I'm not sure I would have changed what I did wrong.

midgetthemighty · June 2012

I only kept some of the cards from my showers and such. I plan on doing the same thing with the wedding cards. I just can't keep everything anymore.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

I have never seen more drunk people at a wedding than the wedding I went to that had a free wine bar allllll night. You had to pay for liquor and beer at the hotel bar - which people totally did, but not before they got PLASTERED on empty stomachs waiting for dinner to be served. Ben was taking a piss during the reception and the groom came into the men's room and barfed all over the place. This was the same wedding I went to where the bride got a shirtless lap dance from the best man and the groom was rolling around in a drunken clusterfuck with two bridesmaids on the floor. I bet neither the bride nor the groom (or over half the guest list, really) remembers that wedding.

cheeseandrice · June 2012

I HATE when people courthouse marriage and then plan a big party later, but even I think Any was different. She never lied and pretended they weren't already married. They were upfront with guests all along.

Much different than my other experiences with PPD. One friend told everyone at the reception that they had already been married for a few months. That's shi.it to me. "Surprise! Thanks for coming, but actually, just kidding. This was just for show. Thanks for the presents!"

The other was my step brother, and that was juat a parade of white trash. Including an invite to a "backward bridal shower" complete with cutsey rhyme about why everyone should still shower her with gifts, even though they were already married. But then it said 'no gifts. the couple requests cash only.'

LP11509 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:0359de66-8dae-4119-841b-4f5f2a8989ad">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand keeping the cards, but I don't why other people can't think that invites/thank yous are just trash. To some people (including myself) that's exactly what invites/thank you cards are. Invites are trash after the event happens and I throw out the thank you after H and I read it. I definitely agree that I prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding. <strong>And LP (I think it was LP), I get what you are saying about Any. Many brides have come in here and mirrored exactly what Any did and they were torn a new one for it. Personally, I'm not bothered by PPDs, so what Any did never bothered me in the least. But there is a double standard around here with friends.</strong> It is what it is though and I don't see anything wrong with telling someone they are doing something wrong, but then having them do it anyway. I've learned a few things that I didn't know were wrong when I got married (joined the boards after my wedding), but I'm not sure I would have changed what I did wrong.
Posted by amys325[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is what I was getting at, but you worded it better. I mean, I don't really care that Any did a VR either, it was just the first example I could think of. And like I said before, I do get that it's harder to judge your friends than it is random strangers. But yeah, I think the double standard is there.

</div>

Matty143 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:81d1c8b3-c14b-45d4-aa0f-52068038671d">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never seen more drunk people at a wedding than the wedding I went to that had a free wine bar allllll night. You had to pay for liquor and beer at the hotel bar - which people totally did, but not before they got PLASTERED on empty stomachs waiting for dinner to be served. Ben was taking a piss during the reception and the groom came into the men's room and barfed all over the place. This was the same wedding I went to where the bride got a shirtless lap dance from the best man and the groom was rolling around in a drunken clusterfuck with two bridesmaids on the floor. I bet neither the bride nor the groom (or over half the guest list, really) remembers that wedding.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

You seem to get invited to the best parties! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
I was telling people to drink up at our wedding. Shiite, we were already paying for it so I wanted people to take advantage!

pirategal03 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:0359de66-8dae-4119-841b-4f5f2a8989ad">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand keeping the cards, but I don't why other people can't think that invites/thank yous are just trash. To some people (including myself) that's exactly what invites/thank you cards are. Invites are trash after the event happens and I throw out the thank you after H and I read it.
Posted by amys325[/QUOTE]

I just went back and re-read what I wrote because I was all 'WTF, where did she get that". Yeah, I was typing fast and missed a couple words.

People shouldn't just assume they'll [eta: meaning the guests] "just throw them away anyway."

Make more sense? I'd be a little hurt if I knew that someone just tossed out my invitation or thank-you note, but how would I ever find out? I just hate when people assume that EVERYONE just trashes them.

eta: I'm not making much sense today, I'm afraid.

AdeleDazeem · June 2012

I'm reading all your cash bar posts with one eyebrow raised, AATB. Ha. Every wedding I've ever been to has been open bar except for maybe one that was partial. I've never seen anyone fall over, puke, or otherwise make an ass out of themselves at an open bar wedding. Sure, people are drunk. They're slurring and dancing like a maniac, but that's pretty normal. Maybe we're all used to these events so we're good at hiding the over-the-tops before everyone in attendance is aware of them?

AllAboutTheBenjamin · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:09522e31-9ec5-437e-b62c-4334a906c637">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm reading all your cash bar posts with one eyebrow raised, AATB. Ha. Every wedding I've ever been to has been open bar except for maybe one that was partial. I've never seen anyone fall over, puke, or otherwise make an ass out of themselves at an open bar wedding. Sure, people are drunk. They're slurring and dancing like a maniac, but that's pretty normal. Maybe we're all used to these events so we're good at hiding the over-the-tops before everyone in attendance is aware of them?
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I honestly think it's regional. People are idiots here and they drink like idiots. This region of the country tops the charts on youth drinking, binge drinking, DUIs, all that stuff. It's literally a culture of drinking. Getting your first minor is like a rite of passage for most people. Free booze? Party on.

Doesn't make it right - but this is probably why I don't mind cash bars.

cheeseandrice · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_tk-confessions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:a1e7c2bc-7cd5-40ba-be06-09d9cfd571bfPost:09522e31-9ec5-437e-b62c-4334a906c637">Re: tk confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm reading all your cash bar posts with one eyebrow raised, AATB. Ha. Every wedding I've ever been to has been open bar except for maybe one that was partial. I've never seen anyone fall over, puke, or otherwise make an ass out of themselves at an open bar wedding. Sure, people are drunk. They're slurring and dancing like a maniac, but that's pretty normal. Maybe we're all used to these events so we're good at hiding the over-the-tops before everyone in attendance is aware of them?
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Welcome to the Midwest ;) MN is the same way, as was WI. A few weekends ago was the first wedding I've attended that had a full open bar. Usually wine/beer is hosted and you pay cash for anything else. I'm picky. I don't mind paying $5 for a drink I want. Much preferred over drinking your shitty beer and Boone's Farm wine.

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