I didn't want to hijack Kaos's thread, so Parents and their kids

theycallmelinz · October 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

I feel kind of bad for these kids who are getting paraded all over the interwebz. They have no say in it, anyone can make copies of the pictures and just... yea. If their parents have bad judgement (which, let's be honest, wayyy too many do), there's all kinds of embarrassing shit up there.

Poor things.

Speaking of this!! I have SEVERAL facebook friends who apparently all send their kids (babies, not even a year old) to the same daycare, and one of the teachers there posts pics of the kids ALL the time on Facebook, and she tags the parents in them and captions the pictures on what the kids are doing that day. And her posts are public, meaning any person in the whole world can see her page and their children at this day care. I would flip my shit if someone posted pictures of my kid online for anyone in the world to see and figure out where they are. But all the moms are just, "Aw my baby is so cute/etc. etc." REALLY?!!

blabla89 · October 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

I feel kind of bad for these kids who are getting paraded all over the interwebz. They have no say in it, anyone can make copies of the pictures and just... yea. If their parents have bad judgement (which, let's be honest, wayyy too many do), there's all kinds of embarrassing shit up there.

Poor things.

So much this. When I was a teen I thought mom bringing out the baby book in front of my friends was awkward. I can't imagine how kids these days must feel.

raissyrais · October 2014

Yep 100% there with you OP. I just hide them from my newsfeed. I'm so glad my sister isn't like that with my little nephew. She will maybe post a photo once every month and it's perfect just like that.

hellohkb · October 2014

lulu411 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I feel kind of bad for these kids who are getting paraded all over the interwebz. They have no say in it, anyone can make copies of the pictures and just... yea. If their parents have bad judgement (which, let's be honest, wayyy too many do), there's all kinds of embarrassing shit up there.

Poor things.

Speaking of this!! I have SEVERAL facebook friends who apparently all send their kids (babies, not even a year old) to the same daycare, and one of the teachers there posts pics of the kids ALL the time on Facebook, and she tags the parents in them and captions the pictures on what the kids are doing that day. And her posts are public, meaning any person in the whole world can see her page and their children at this day care. I would flip my shit if someone posted pictures of my kid online for anyone in the world to see and figure out where they are. But all the moms are just, "Aw my baby is so cute/etc. etc." REALLY?!!

----
I had a friend who did this when she worked at a daycare. It drove me more nuts than the parents posting their own kids on social media.

jenna8984 · October 2014

My brother, love him to death but I hate that he did this. Made a FB page for my nephew when he was only 6 months old (now he's 4) and anytime my brother goes somewhere or posts a cute picture he tags nephew. Like "out to lunch with @nephew". It's creepy and I've had several friends ask me about it, like inquiring if the 4 year old actually uses the FB. Which is a big fat no, just my brother being weird.

lc07 · October 2014

How about when people make Facebook profiles for their toddler children and talk through them.

ashley8918 · October 2014

lc07 said:

How about when people make Facebook profiles for their toddler children and talk through them.

"I peed in daddy's face today! lol"

"Mommy is taking me to the park!"

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE.

theycallmelinz · October 2014

lc07 said:

How about when people make Facebook profiles for their toddler children and talk through them.

Soooo.... my dog may or may not have his own Facebook...and occasionally update his status to say, "Bark bark!!"

Me and FI were drunk one night and decided it would be HILAAAAARRRIOUS. It still kind of is lol

kat1114 · October 2014

lulu411- my cat may or may not also have a facebook. I was completely sober, I just also though it would be funny. And it still is. But he doesn't post that much. He definitely posts less than my friend with kids...

wajohnson09 · October 2014

jimandpam87 said:

Maggie0829 said:

So getting back to the subject at hand...

I can't stand parents who make a picture of their kid their profile picture on FB. It really irks me.

This bothers me *almost* as much as those people that, after getting married, create a joint facebook account a la "JaneAndJohn Doe". Just why? As much as I love FI, I'm still ME after we get married.

ashley8918 said:

lc07 said:

How about when people make Facebook profiles for their toddler children and talk through them.

"I peed in daddy's face today! lol"

"Mommy is taking me to the park!"

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE.

---------no box?------
My Friend's friend made a page for her little boy and he writes on her wall all the time- mommy you're pretty, mommy I had so much fun at the park! Ugh just creepy

Speaking of losing your identity- Does anyone have friends who call themselves mom,momma, or mommy on Facebook? I do! This momma is so tired. Oh I was a happy momma when I got donuts on the way home from the park. Momma has lots to do before the baby comes! You hang in there tough momma.
Momma is not your friggin name, you look like a dumbass who has no life outside of your kids

beethery · October 2014

lulu411 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I feel kind of bad for these kids who are getting paraded all over the interwebz. They have no say in it, anyone can make copies of the pictures and just... yea. If their parents have bad judgement (which, let's be honest, wayyy too many do), there's all kinds of embarrassing shit up there.

Poor things.

Speaking of this!! I have SEVERAL facebook friends who apparently all send their kids (babies, not even a year old) to the same daycare, and one of the teachers there posts pics of the kids ALL the time on Facebook, and she tags the parents in them and captions the pictures on what the kids are doing that day. And her posts are public, meaning any person in the whole world can see her page and their children at this day care. I would flip my shit if someone posted pictures of my kid online for anyone in the world to see and figure out where they are. But all the moms are just, "Aw my baby is so cute/etc. etc." REALLY?!!

I would lose my fucking mind. That is just inviting trouble.

afox007 · October 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

scribe95 said:

I like seeing some of the kid photos. My one exception is the messy eating photos. Hate those with a passion. I think parenting is like loving your animals times 100. So you will likely be posting photos of your kids too!

This. I get really gaggy when I see messy eating. Or pics with a sagging diaper and the title is "time for a changing? I think so." Fuck. That. Just no. It makes me gaggy.

The time for a changing pics piss me off mostly because in the time it took to take and share said pic you could have...oh I dunno, CHANGED YOUR KIDS FUCKING DIAPER!

As far as the OP I feel like there is a time and place for everything. A pic here and there of baby doing something cute, adorable. Pics of the whole fam together from time to time, great. 532,069 pics in a week, when most of them are practically a flip book? Fuck you, you are now blocked.

lovesclimbing · October 2014

I agree with most everyone.

I have lots of friends and I love seeing their kids pics because they post a few times a week. I have one friend who posts every week the same photo of her son laying on his back next to a teddy bear, because someone thought that was a neat idea to show his growth. I think it's so cool! But other than that, she posts maybe one other photo per week of him. A few a week is fine, but I think a ton would be annoying. Fortunately, I have pretty awesome friends who don't go overboard.

The people who are more annoying for me are the ones who take five selfies and then upload all five which are IDENTICAL except for a slight movement of the camera or twitch of the eye.

Also, I really don't like combined FBs. H hasn't really touched his FB in over a year, and just checks mine once in awhile, or I'll show him photos. But I told him long ago there was no way I'm doing lovesandlovesH climbing as my FB name.

Maggie0829 · October 2014

wajohnson09 said:

---------no box?------ My Friend's friend made a page for her little boy and he writes on her wall all the time- mommy you're pretty, mommy I had so much fun at the park! Ugh just creepy Speaking of losing your identity- Does anyone have friends who call themselves mom,momma, or mommy on Facebook? I do! This momma is so tired. Oh I was a happy momma when I got donuts on the way home from the park. Momma has lots to do before the baby comes! You hang in there tough momma. Momma is not your friggin name, you look like a dumbass who has no life outside of your kids

Yes. I have a few like that. H and I have stopped talking and hanging out with some of our friends because their lives are literally their children and the person that they used to be just doesn't exist anymore. It is kind of sad.

lurkergirl · October 2014

Well, I love babies, so I have a high tolerance for the pictures. However, I really only want to see CUTE pictures. Your snot and slobber covered, dirty-faced little spawn is only cute to you!

jenna8984 · October 2014

@maggie0829 I actually just read an article the other day (wish I could find it) about how modern day parenting is destroying marriages. Because now the child becomes the center of the universe and you neglect your partner because your kid is just the most special #1 thing in the whole wide world. I liked it, basically saying love your child but they are not your entire world and your spouse needs to still come in first/ be treated like how they were before kids. Honestly, I got this impression from my parents growing up, that they loved each other more than me. And 38 years later they are still madly in love so I think it served as a good example.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

I have a 2 year old... I probably posted more pictures of him earlier on, but I actually set my kid photos to a select group who I felt would probably appreciate seeing them (family, friends with kids and my closest friends). Last time I posted a picture was a month ago... and before that, on his second birthday back in August. My profile picture is of all 3 of us (me, FI and our son), and it might be from his first birthday (tells you how much I'm not on facebook!)

With the amount that I see some parents (really, mostly moms seem to be the biggest culprit) posting, they must be on their phones ALL DAY!

Maggie0829 · October 2014

jenna8984 said:

@maggie0829 I actually just read an article the other day (wish I could find it) about how modern day parenting is destroying marriages. Because now the child becomes the center of the universe and you neglect your partner because your kid is just the most special #1 thing in the whole wide world. I liked it, basically saying love your child but they are not your entire world and your spouse needs to still come in first/ be treated like how they were before kids. Honestly, I got this impression from my parents growing up, that they loved each other more than me. And 38 years later they are still madly in love so I think it served as a good example.

This is also how we have so many young adults that feel entitled to everything without having to work for it. I just don't agree with how kids are being raised (generally speaking because I know that not all parents are like this) in today's world. Punishment for wrong doing is few and far between but rather people say that it is because their kid has AD/HD or ADD or some other issue and they pamper little billy or little susie instead of actually parenting them. Also the whole, "everybody gets a medal/trophy" and the "no kid left behind" is creating young adults who think that they are superior and deserve to be given things without doing any of the hard work. Kids need to learn that you don't always win and they need to learn that failing is not a bad thing but something that you learn from.

lurkergirl · October 2014

It's not just parents. Schools play a huge role in the entitlement problems.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

steph861 · October 2014

hellokellybean said: southernbelle0915 said: I feel kind of bad for these kids who are getting paraded all over the interwebz. They have no say in it, anyone can make copies of the pictures and just... yea. If their parents have bad judgement (which, let's be honest, wayyy too many do), there's all kinds of embarrassing shit up there.
Poor things. Speaking of this!! I have SEVERAL facebook friends who apparently all send their kids (babies, not even a year old) to the same daycare, and one of the teachers there posts pics of the kids ALL the time on Facebook, and she tags the parents in them and captions the pictures on what the kids are doing that day. And her posts are public, meaning any person in the whole world can see her page and their children at this day care. I would flip my shit if someone posted pictures of my kid online for anyone in the world to see and figure out where they are. But all the moms are just, "Aw my baby is so cute/etc. etc." REALLY?!! ---- I had a friend who did this when she worked at a daycare. It drove me more nuts than the parents posting their own kids on social media. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------That really rubs me the wrong way. I think daycares should be required to get signed release forms from parents before they're allowed to post pictures like that publicly with names and locations. Not that that protects kids with parents who see nothing wrong it, but at least it gives the parents a choice.

I really eye-roll at over-protective helicopter parents, but I feel like posting photos and personal information about minors to a page with no privacy settings is reckless. There's something to be said for letting kids take (reasonable) risks that allow them to learn and grow, but the kids aren't benefiting from this in any way.

ETF lack of boxes

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

I checked facebook this morning and one of my friends had a post about inviting people to her child's 3 year birthday party. It was basically like "do I invite ALL the kids in the class? I want to do what's right."

And like 90% of people responding were like "of course you do!" "you shouldn't hurt feelings" "everyone should be invited". I was one of like 2 people to say "no, just invite who the child is actually friends with."

I know it's a little thing, but if kids grow up thinking "everyone's invited" "everyone gets a trophy" "everyone's a winner", it just further cements the entitlement problem. #sorrynotsorry #everychildisnotawinner

steph861 · October 2014

jenna8984 said:

@maggie0829 I actually just read an article the other day (wish I could find it) about how modern day parenting is destroying marriages. Because now the child becomes the center of the universe and you neglect your partner because your kid is just the most special #1 thing in the whole wide world. I liked it, basically saying love your child but they are not your entire world and your spouse needs to still come in first/ be treated like how they were before kids. Honestly, I got this impression from my parents growing up, that they loved each other more than me. And 38 years later they are still madly in love so I think it served as a good example.

I'll agree with the second part of that, but I don't think I could put my spouse's emotional needs ahead of my child's. I would hope that FI feels the same way and would put the kids first as well.

That's not to say there can't be a balance, and that I won't do whatever I can to be there for all of them, but I feel like choosing to raise kids means choosing to change your priorities.

ETA: I want to make it clear that I think there's a big difference between worshiping your child at the expense of your spouse and putting your child's needs first. Worshiping a child and losing one's identity go well beyond meeting said child's basic emotional needs.

l9i · October 2014

Maggie0829 said:

jenna8984 said:

@maggie0829 I actually just read an article the other day (wish I could find it) about how modern day parenting is destroying marriages. Because now the child becomes the center of the universe and you neglect your partner because your kid is just the most special #1 thing in the whole wide world. I liked it, basically saying love your child but they are not your entire world and your spouse needs to still come in first/ be treated like how they were before kids. Honestly, I got this impression from my parents growing up, that they loved each other more than me. And 38 years later they are still madly in love so I think it served as a good example.

This is also how we have so many young adults that feel entitled to everything without having to work for it. I just don't agree with how kids are being raised (generally speaking because I know that not all parents are like this) in today's world. Punishment for wrong doing is few and far between but rather people say that it is because their kid has AD/HD or ADD or some other issue and they pamper little billy or little susie instead of actually parenting them. Also the whole, "everybody gets a medal/trophy" and the "no kid left behind" is creating young adults who think that they are superior and deserve to be given things without doing any of the hard work. Kids need to learn that you don't always win and they need to learn that failing is not a bad thing but something that you learn from.

(Disclaimer: I do not have kids) I coach competitive swimming to young kids (ages 6-12) and I can't tell you how often we've had to deal with issues due to entitilement... it's really sad. Since I work with those just starting I try and 'break' them of this thought train. I've had kids at meets come up crying because they didn't win.... There is one meet we go to for those under the age of 8 where everyone gets a trophy. I had one girl swim and I asked her why she wasn't trying and the response I got was along the lines of "I don't need to I already got a trophy". INSANE.

We had a family whose two children still haven't gotten over the issue of entitlement. The older routinely cries if he doesn't win and is nearing high school!!! Why does he still do it? Because parents condone it to no end and tell him he's special.....

luckya23 · October 2014

jenna8984 said:

My brother, love him to death but I hate that he did this. Made a FB page for my nephew when he was only 6 months old (now he's 4) and anytime my brother goes somewhere or posts a cute picture he tags nephew. Like "out to lunch with @nephew". It's creepy and I've had several friends ask me about it, like inquiring if the 4 year old actually uses the FB. Which is a big fat no, just my brother being weird.

Oops, I would do that... Both of my dogs have their own FB pages!

My sister is one of these obnoxious over-sharers.... and then it becomes my real life, because my mom is always like "did you see this on facebook??? so cute!!!" or even worse - - shares it and posts it on my own page!

Originally my sister tagged me and all my family members in EVERY PHOTO of my nephew - - none of my own photos showed up on my timeline anymore!! So I had to institute timeline review and now none of it shows up. (Which is why my mom posts it there!)

[Deleted User] · October 2014

steph11814 said:

hellokellybean said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I feel kind of bad for these kids who are getting paraded all over the interwebz. They have no say in it, anyone can make copies of the pictures and just... yea. If their parents have bad judgement (which, let's be honest, wayyy too many do), there's all kinds of embarrassing shit up there.

Poor things.

Speaking of this!! I have SEVERAL facebook friends who apparently all send their kids (babies, not even a year old) to the same daycare, and one of the teachers there posts pics of the kids ALL the time on Facebook, and she tags the parents in them and captions the pictures on what the kids are doing that day. And her posts are public, meaning any person in the whole world can see her page and their children at this day care. I would flip my shit if someone posted pictures of my kid online for anyone in the world to see and figure out where they are. But all the moms are just, "Aw my baby is so cute/etc. etc." REALLY?!!
---- I had a friend who did this when she worked at a daycare. It drove me more nuts than the parents posting their own kids on social media.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------That really rubs me the wrong way. I think daycares should be required to get signed release forms from parents before they're allowed to post pictures like that publicly with names and locations. Not that that protects kids with parents who see nothing wrong it, but at least it gives the parents a choice.

I really eye-roll at over-protective helicopter parents, but I feel like posting photos and personal information about minors to a page with no privacy settings is reckless. There's something to be said for letting kids take (reasonable) risks that allow them to learn and grow, but the kids aren't benefiting from this in any way.

ETF lack of boxes

_______

Yes to all of the above. My son's day care will post maybe 1-2 pictures a week, but their policy is to NEVER show the kid's faces and don't tag the parents. Just get to see what they're working on, but still maintain privacy. They did get my approval to even post pictures of him without showing their face. I really appreciated them taking this approach!

I didn't want to hijack Kaos's thread, so Parents and their kids

Re: I didn't want to hijack Kaos's thread, so Parents and their kids

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