This is so much worse: a vent, unsolicited advice....

mrs4everhart · October 2014

It goes without saying asking a woman how much her ring costs is rude. I think that extends to asking about carat weight, etc., when attempting to ascertain the cost without asking....

But so much worse is this little gem: Oh my god he must REALLY love you (in obvious reference to size/perceived quality).

What the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?!?! Yes, all couples who choose plain bands (or no rings) must not be in love.

The idea that many in our society view a direct correlation between ring size and love is sad and sickening and just stuck in my craw today.

I'd rather be directly asked how much something costs so I can decline to answer than stand there grappling for what to say? No, he doesn't really love me that much? Yes, he loves me more than other people love their wives? See, there's just no good response. Blank stare?

luckya23 · October 2014

"I'm very blessed."

buttercup1958 · October 2014

Yeah that is gross. I would say oh I know he loves me, he shows me that everyday and just walk away.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

I'd say "yes, he put a lot of thought into choosing a design I'd love." It's not about the size or value that way.

mrs4everhart · October 2014

Yea, it's not so much that that happens to me but I hear it all too often and it just makes me sad for people. And outraged.

I think of my Grandmother's petite little gold band and how much my Grandfather loved her and my heart breaks that people really think the two things are even remotely related.

A lot of people out there are in for a rude awakening, serious disappointment, or both.

WinstonsGirl · October 2014

Well, I only married him for his money. I got the ring, he gets laid regularly. /sarcasm

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

Maybe I'm a bitch, but I'd say "No, he's just filthy rich. "

pinkcow13 · October 2014

The things that come out of some people's mouths is just baffling.

luckya23 · October 2014

Honestly, it sounds more like a put down to me - like the big ring wearer is the one without their priorities straight.

mrs4everhart · October 2014

alucky23 said:
Honestly, it sounds more like a put down to me - like the big ring wearer is the one without their priorities straight.

How so? Many women are surprised by their engagement/ring. And many people can afford more expensive rings. So the price is relative.

The idea that people equate size of a ring to how much love someone feels for another is jacked up, IMO.

jenijoyk · October 2014

So gross. Shortly after FI proposed we ran into a friend of his (and total frenemy of mine), and her response after seeing my ring was, "Wow. Well. That's.... unexpected." Given that my ring is just a single solitaire, we took it to be aimed at the size? I have no idea. I mean, my ring isn't neon pink or anything, so I don't know what else about it would have been "surprising." Why not just come out with it and say, "I can't believe he spent that kind of money on you." UGH. She is the WORST.

Cookie Pusher · October 2014

I really hate when people feel the need to make comments about other people's rings. Other than saying it's nice/beautiful/whatever positive compliment, there's no need to be passive-aggressively judgmental at all. I was asked once if my ring gets in my way when I'm doing stuff. Um, no? It's not like I have a Volvo on my hand or something.

falsara · October 2014

Has anyone other than me gotten the "well thats...... unique" the obvious pause made me want to hit her. It shouldn't be THAT hard to say something nice.

ETA words

AzAnnie · October 2014

My ring belonged to his grandmother, so I always say yes he does because he gave me a ring with value that money can't buy.

novella1186 · October 2014

To the person who makes that comment: "Yes and apparently you don't like me at all cuz you haven't bought me shit. Asshole." The end.

luckya23 · October 2014

mrs4everhart said:

Honestly, it sounds more like a put down to me - like the big ring wearer is the one without their priorities straight.
How so? Many women are surprised by their engagement/ring. And many people can afford more expensive rings. So the price is relative. The idea that people equate size of a ring to how much love someone feels for another is jacked up, IMO.

It sounds petty and jealous to me. Obviously the statement says more about the person making it than the wearer.

beethery · October 2014

novella1186 said:

To the person who makes that comment: "Yes and apparently you don't like me at all cuz you haven't bought me shit. Asshole." The end.

YES

mrs4everhart · October 2014

alucky23 said:

mrs4everhart said:

Honestly, it sounds more like a put down to me - like the big ring wearer is the one without their priorities straight.
How so? Many women are surprised by their engagement/ring. And many people can afford more expensive rings. So the price is relative. The idea that people equate size of a ring to how much love someone feels for another is jacked up, IMO.

It sounds petty and jealous to me. Obviously the statement says more about the person making it than the wearer.

SIB*****************************************

Thanks for the clarification. I think I read it wrong the first time and misunderstood.

chibiyui · October 2014

If my snark at was on I'd probably go all Cards Against Humanity "Yes, it's the shiny rock that proves he loves me"

I usually just comment "Yes, he does" or something grammatically correct. The rudest comment I've received was a customer going "Thats a really big ring"

I knew I wasn't closing that sale when they said that.

Sugargirl1019 · October 2014

I really miss my e-ring

how long has it been? I'm slipping into oblivion..

blabla89 · October 2014

mrs4everhart said:

It goes without saying asking a woman how much her ring costs is rude. I think that extends to asking about carat weight, etc., when attempting to ascertain the cost without asking.... But so much worse is this little gem: Oh my god he must REALLY love you (in obvious reference to size/perceived quality). What the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?!?! Yes, all couples who choose plain bands (or no rings) must not be in love. The idea that many in our society view a direct correlation between ring size and love is sad and sickening and just stuck in my craw today. I'd rather be directly asked how much something costs so I can decline to answer than stand there grappling for what to say? No, he doesn't really love me that much? Yes, he loves me more than other people love their wives? See, there's just no good response. Blank stare?

"Well bless your heart"

raissyrais · October 2014

mrs4everhart said:

It goes without saying asking a woman how much her ring costs is rude. I think that extends to asking about carat weight, etc., when attempting to ascertain the cost without asking.... But so much worse is this little gem: Oh my god he must REALLY love you (in obvious reference to size/perceived quality). What the actual fuck is that supposed to mean?!?! Yes, all couples who choose plain bands (or no rings) must not be in love. The idea that many in our society view a direct correlation between ring size and love is sad and sickening and just stuck in my craw today. I'd rather be directly asked how much something costs so I can decline to answer than stand there grappling for what to say? No, he doesn't really love me that much? Yes, he loves me more than other people love their wives? See, there's just no good response. Blank stare?

Yes asshole. He really loves me.

JennyColada · October 2014

My usually response to any sort of comments about my ring are "He did good." I feel like it's a direct end to the conversation and still leaves it on a positive note.

KatieinBkln · October 2014

mrs4everhart said:

alucky23 said:

mrs4everhart said:

Honestly, it sounds more like a put down to me - like the big ring wearer is the one without their priorities straight.
How so? Many women are surprised by their engagement/ring. And many people can afford more expensive rings. So the price is relative. The idea that people equate size of a ring to how much love someone feels for another is jacked up, IMO.

It sounds petty and jealous to me. Obviously the statement says more about the person making it than the wearer.

SIB*****************************************

Thanks for the clarification. I think I read it wrong the first time and misunderstood.

Even though it makes no sense, I totally see this. Maybe it's the midwestern upbringing, but there is definitely a subset of people who think any girl with a big/fancy ring is automatically an ostentatious, materialistic, high-maintenance biddy. It's a really shitty attitude, but it's certainly a persistent one.

mschristie123 · October 2014

Ugh this thread reminded me that DH and I have a "friend" (his friend's wife) who snarked hard core on my ring right after we got engaged. This couple wasn't engaged yet at the time, and she said to me, "oh how dainty! I could never have a ring like that with my big fingers." I'm pretty sure in that situation dainty= small.

Bitch.

JennyColada · October 2014

mschristie123 said:

Ugh this thread reminded me that DH and I have a "friend" (his friend's wife) who snarked hard core on my ring right after we got engaged. This couple wasn't engaged yet at the time, and she said to me, "oh how dainty! I could never have a ring like that with my big fingers." I'm pretty sure in that situation dainty= small.

Bitch.

Ew wtf?

It kind of goes both ways too: My fingers are hella tiny, so my stone looks WAY BIGGER than it really is (*giggles* that's what she said!). So I think that sometimes people look at it and make even worse judgements because it looks so much more...uh...I dunno. Big?

gladyscf · October 2014

You could always snark back and say that your big rock correlates to his big ... and yes, you've been truly blessed in finding this man.

That should leave her mouth open long enough for you to make a get-away.

holyguacamole79 · October 2014

@sugargirl1019, why do you miss your E-ring?

Inkdancer · October 2014

All I ever do is gush about how much I love my ring. Nobody can say anything rude when I am busy being so happy about it.

melbenso · October 2014

Well, my husband must not love me all that much. The diamond in my engagement ring is only about 1/3 of a carat in a simple white gold setting. Nevermind that I am not a fancy ring type person, so I wanted a simple setting. And of course, it doesn't matter at all that the diamond is the same one that his beloved late grandfather proposed to his grandmother with and that was left to him, as the oldest grandchild, to propose to his wife with some day.

Yep, those things don't matter at all. Clearly giving me such an important family heirloom as an engagement ring rather than some fancy 2 carat ring in an extravagant setting means he doesn't love me at all.

gladyscf · October 2014

Some people are just dumb.

This is so much worse: a vent, unsolicited advice....

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