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Butterfly Release

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Re: Butterfly Release

  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Peaches and Spitfire.  I miss the good old days where you could call someone's idea not the best one ever and it wasn't a big deal.

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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:07e33cfe-29b0-4b54-a2e2-160c239fb929">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto Peaches and Spitfire.  I miss the good old days where you could call someone's idea not the best one ever and it wasn't a big deal. But I guess we were all textbook bullies back then...   <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:10995f7f-73b7-4c49-92e0-ca78396a9bdd" rel='nofollow'>http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:10995f7f-73b7-4c49-92e0-ca78396a9bdd</a>
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

    ahhh...the textbook bullying thread..not that is a classic!!
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  • speidelmspeidelm
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:e57ba2a2-58ac-4573-8c60-51176746e96d">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with mbcdefg.  When you post on a message board, you have to be prepared for the backlash.  
    Posted by kristen8040[/QUOTE]

    I hope I'm not getting myself blacklisted here, but it really shouldn't be this way. She wasn't posting to start a war here and since she doesn't see the controversy in this she didn't see this coming. Have a little compassion here. We're all (or mostly all) in the same boat here planning a wedding and if there's anything we should have learned it's that you can't please everyone. And if you have planned a wedding, that certainly doesn't make you an expert in other people's weddings. From that post that was posted today about old "fun" posts, it seems some of you have fun with this controversy at other people's expense and that's kinda sad to me... I didn't think this was that kind of board. :(
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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:51d85d3d-b5c4-4522-b668-04c38b9ec8bf">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Butterfly Release : I hope I'm not getting myself blacklisted here, but it really shouldn't be this way. She wasn't posting to start a war here and since she doesn't see the controversy in this she didn't see this coming. Have a little compassion here. We're all (or mostly all) in the same boat here planning a wedding and if there's anything we should have learned it's that you can't please everyone. And if you have planned a wedding, that certainly doesn't make you an expert in other people's weddings. From that post that was posted today about old "fun" posts, it seems some of you have fun with this controversy at other people's expense and that's kinda sad to me... I didn't think this was that kind of board. :(
    Posted by speidelm[/QUOTE]

    So you would rather people say how wonderful and great an idea is even if it is awful and most likely going to offend a lot of your guests who will be in attendance at your wedding.   No she didn't ask for advice, but this topic is one that is controversial and offends a lot of people.   It would be different if she was asking about wedding colors or dresses or something non-controversial.  But releasing butterflies and harming them bothers a lot of people, and quite frankly, I thought this was rather tame compared to stuff I have seen.

    And people don't do things on purpose....I for one will be completely honest if people are being ridiculous and many of the posts we were talking about in the other thread, people were being ridiculous so the posters deserved it! 

     Like we used to say in the old days...put on your big girl panties and deal with it!
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  • speidelmspeidelm
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe there's a reason why the "old days" are the old days... I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the idea I just think that people posting on here shouldn't have to think twice about posting in fear of getting crucified. And this post isn't really in direct reference to the post above so don't get defensive please. There's been plenty of posts I've put up that you've all given great feedback and advice on as I expected when i joined. I know this is a public forum and you really can say whatever you want, but given the nature of the site and its members I'd definitely be taken aback if I received a response like this. That's all I'm saying! Can't we all just get along!?!
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  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:16fd198d-7998-4dae-96d2-419251fab682">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe there's a reason why the "old days" are the old days... I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the idea I just think that people posting on here shouldn't have to think twice about posting in fear of getting crucified. And this post isn't really in direct reference to the post above so don't get defensive please. There's been plenty of posts I've put up that you've all given great feedback and advice on as I expected when i joined. I know this is a public forum and you really can say whatever you want, but given the nature of the site and its members I'd definitely be taken aback if I received a response like this. That's all I'm saying! Can't we all just get along!?!
    Posted by speidelm[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think the old days (when there used to be several pages of posts each day and it was hard to keep up with all of the new posts) are old now because people started being polite and stopped being real.  That made a lot of the older knotties (and probably potential new knotties) stay away -- it isn't fun.  Sometimes there were posts that were maybe a little unnecessarily mean, but for the most part the stuff that we remember the most is pure stupidity -- nothing like what's going on here (which is why this post really isn't mean, unless saying "You may want to think about x instead of going full steam ahead" is somehow rude?  I don't see how it is).   I'm sorry, but if someone asks in 2009 "What will the weather be on May 20, 2010?", they probably deserve some side-eye.  Can't we all agree that that's a ridiculous question? </div><div>
    </div><div>In the "good old days" I got flamed or ganged up on more than a few times.  Some of those times, I am sure I deserved it.  I had a bad idea or said something that wasn't that great to say, and people called me out on it.  I'm glad they did because I'm certainly not always right and sometimes it is hard to know that I'm not right.  Isn't that the point of posting questions on the internet, to get valuable, honest answers?  The times that I didn't deserve to get flamed, I was able to deal anyway.  I didn't need others saying "that was mean that you all thought her idea was not ideal" to make me feel better about myself, and I don't think OXOX needs that here.  We're grown-ups.    </div><div>
    </div><div>I really do maintain that perhaps I got a bit snarky on this thread, but a lot of what other people said was not bad at all.  Just because a bunch of people all volunteered that it was maybe an idea that only looked good on paper doesn't mean that people were cruel.  It is just a topic that people feel strongly about.  Very little of what was said was heavy-handed at all -- I don't know where people are getting that from.</div><div>
    </div><div>What was good about the good old days was -- good, bad, or ugly -- there were a ton of girls here with a ton of perspectives and you really could get valuable answers to questions.  And a lot of us "knew" each other which maybe lead to cliques but also lead to friendships and made the answers more valuable (because we could think "Okay, [   ] is calling me out and she's a reasonable person so I know I must be doing something wrong here.").</div><div>
    </div><div>Believe me, the board did not die down from people being too mean.  It died down from people being too boring (not that any of the new people are necessarily boring -- the discussion is).</div><div>
    </div><div>And if you really think people are being mean here, I dare you to post this question on the Etiquette board.  In fact, if you search recent posts on the national boards, I'd be surprised if you didn't find recent threads on the same or similar topics with meaner, snarkier responses.</div>
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  • speidelmspeidelm
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    haha ok I'll admit asking the weather a year in advance is a little crazy... people actually did that??? 
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  • lynzandgreg1lynzandgreg1 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    While I agree that sending live butterflies is a bad idea.. there is a way to get butterflies for the day of her wedding. As a teacher we grow caterpillars every year to show the butterfly life cycle. There is a company she can purchase the caterpillars from and grow them herself. It has to be done in a timely matter and they only send about 5 caterpillars. But as long as it's 50 degrees out there is no reason why she wouldn't be able to do this.
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  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:438e4664-46b4-4c42-aa12-73060764e121">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]haha ok I'll admit asking the weather a year in advance is a little crazy... people actually did that??? 
    Posted by speidelm[/QUOTE]

    <div>I wish I was making it up:</div><div>
    </div><div><a href="http://carlsbad.weddings.com/sites/weddings/pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_rain-shine" rel='nofollow'>http://carlsbad.weddings.com/sites/weddings/pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_rain-shine</a></div>
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  • Janette17Janette17 member
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    Actually.. I think there is a butterfly sanctuary right in Brick, NJ that does the butterfly release. This is NJ... most areas I'm sure are a natural habitat for them depending on the time of the year of your wedding since it is Spring and I see them everywhere.
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