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Which do you prefer Miss, Mrs. or Ms.

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Re: Which do you prefer Miss, Mrs. or Ms.

  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
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    I'm changing my name to FI's last name cause I HATE my current one with a passion and I would like the Mrs. in front of it because it makes me melt lol even though I do agree that it's quite sexist that a woman's title stays current to her marital status.
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  • I prefer Ms. and I feel it does not indicate if one is married or not.  And, I think Miss really is for those under 18.

    But, if someone wants to use the first name, say, like a child, I like Miss (insert first name).  I think it's cute.
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  • hellosweetie1015hellosweetie1015 Where the skies are so blue member
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    Eh. I'd rather just be Cait. Frankly. I was Miss/Ms. Cait in the afterschool, and it took me about six weeks to get used to that. If it hadn't been an authority position for a significant number of kids, I would have still gone by Cait.

    FI did once say Mrs. HisLast to me shortly after being engaged. It made me all squiggly inside. :)
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  • bwybwy member
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    I voted I love turtles, because I have 5, but I can't wait to be Mrs. :D 

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  • I guess I don't care too much, but I find it annoying and sexist that woman are referred to by their marital status. I guess it's too hard to ever change it because not everyone likes the same one. 


    THIS!  I totally agree. I hate how people have to know a woman is married before they address her?  Why do women need to announce like their marital status? To me, thats what titles do. We need ONE title, like the men have their Mr. Or.... why do we even need titles? Silliness that has extended from the past that just needs to die.
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  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
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    I prefer to be called "Commander."
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  • I'd like to be called the original full form of all of those - Mistress. Cuz that's badass.

    The National Parks Service addresses mail to me as Brigadier General.

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  • CMGragain said:
    In the south, it doesn't matter, because people pronounce all three titles the same - "Miz".  The only way you can tell the difference is when it is written down.
    I was going to say something along these lines.  In working with little kids, it doesn't matter because they all say "Miss" no matter what the title is.  And, yes, with adults it's always "Miz." 

    Miss Firstname is super common for kids too; it's how we usually referred to our adult neighbors or good friends' parents.  The kids I tutor call me "Miss Lurkerfirstname"




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  • I was Ms. before and Mrs. now. No one really calls me Mrs at work, it's all first names. But since the wedding people will refer to as Mrs. HisLastName to be cute, and I like!
  • I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
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    edited October 2014
    sunset30 said:
    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.
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  • I can't wait to be Mrs.  
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    holyguacamole79CMGragain
  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
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    edited October 2014
    sunset30 said:
    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.
    In Quebec it's like that. When I first moved there I didn't understand why they never used Mademoiselle (Miss) but used Madame for everything (which is Mrs/Madam/Ms). They are quite pro women there and every woman is just that. Married or not you stay Madame for everyone. It felt weird because to me. Madame MyLastName was my mother! Also, getting married is not a good enough reason to change your name to your husband's name in Quebec. They don't even do that there, so hyphenating is the most common thing to do (if you ever get married in Quebec since the norm is just living together/companions/partners which you can then describe as a de-facto spouse.

    ETA: I'm glad that I'm in UK now and that'll be so much easier to just take my FH's name :)
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  • sunset30 said:

    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 

    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.

    In Quebec it's like that. When I first moved there I didn't understand why they never used Mademoiselle (Miss) but used Madame for everything (which is Mrs/Madam/Ms). They are quite pro women there and every woman is just that. Married or not you stay Madame for everyone. It felt weird because to me. Madame MyLastName was my mother! Also, getting married is not a good enough reason to change your name to your husband's name in Quebec. They don't even do that there, so hyphenating is the most common thing to do (if you ever get married in Quebec since the norm is just living together/companions/partners which you can then describe as a de-facto spouse.

    ETA: I'm glad that I'm in UK now and that'll be so much easier to just take my FH's name :)


    This is interesting because in elementary school (Ontario), we called our unmarried French teachers Mademoiselle.
    raissyrais
  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
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    sunset30 said:
    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.
    In Quebec it's like that. When I first moved there I didn't understand why they never used Mademoiselle (Miss) but used Madame for everything (which is Mrs/Madam/Ms). They are quite pro women there and every woman is just that. Married or not you stay Madame for everyone. It felt weird because to me. Madame MyLastName was my mother! Also, getting married is not a good enough reason to change your name to your husband's name in Quebec. They don't even do that there, so hyphenating is the most common thing to do (if you ever get married in Quebec since the norm is just living together/companions/partners which you can then describe as a de-facto spouse.

    ETA: I'm glad that I'm in UK now and that'll be so much easier to just take my FH's name :)
    This is interesting because in elementary school (Ontario), we called our unmarried French teachers Mademoiselle.

    In my Alberta French classes, "Mademoiselle" was only for the kids. All the teachers were "Madame", married or not. I noticed the same trend when I studied in Quebec too and I loved the simplicity of it too.

    When I lived in Spain I noticed the obvious. Everyone checked for a ring and then gave me a very firm "Señorita", despite having a baby with me. It was quite judgemental every time, actually. I was just a nanny but when people didn't know, they were often almost rude with the pointing out my unmarried ness.

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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
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    Man, I want to be Madame DHLast.

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  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
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    amelisha said:
    sunset30 said:
    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.
    In Quebec it's like that. When I first moved there I didn't understand why they never used Mademoiselle (Miss) but used Madame for everything (which is Mrs/Madam/Ms). They are quite pro women there and every woman is just that. Married or not you stay Madame for everyone. It felt weird because to me. Madame MyLastName was my mother! Also, getting married is not a good enough reason to change your name to your husband's name in Quebec. They don't even do that there, so hyphenating is the most common thing to do (if you ever get married in Quebec since the norm is just living together/companions/partners which you can then describe as a de-facto spouse.

    ETA: I'm glad that I'm in UK now and that'll be so much easier to just take my FH's name :)
    This is interesting because in elementary school (Ontario), we called our unmarried French teachers Mademoiselle.

    In my Alberta French classes, "Mademoiselle" was only for the kids. All the teachers were "Madame", married or not. I noticed the same trend when I studied in Quebec too and I loved the simplicity of it too.

    When I lived in Spain I noticed the obvious. Everyone checked for a ring and then gave me a very firm "Señorita", despite having a baby with me. It was quite judgemental every time, actually. I was just a nanny but when people didn't know, they were often almost rude with the pointing out my unmarried ness.
    They do check rings like that here too! Hmm those old, traditional European ways.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
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    amelisha said:
    sunset30 said:
    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.
    In Quebec it's like that. When I first moved there I didn't understand why they never used Mademoiselle (Miss) but used Madame for everything (which is Mrs/Madam/Ms). They are quite pro women there and every woman is just that. Married or not you stay Madame for everyone. It felt weird because to me. Madame MyLastName was my mother! Also, getting married is not a good enough reason to change your name to your husband's name in Quebec. They don't even do that there, so hyphenating is the most common thing to do (if you ever get married in Quebec since the norm is just living together/companions/partners which you can then describe as a de-facto spouse.

    ETA: I'm glad that I'm in UK now and that'll be so much easier to just take my FH's name :)
    This is interesting because in elementary school (Ontario), we called our unmarried French teachers Mademoiselle.

    In my Alberta French classes, "Mademoiselle" was only for the kids. All the teachers were "Madame", married or not. I noticed the same trend when I studied in Quebec too and I loved the simplicity of it too.

    When I lived in Spain I noticed the obvious. Everyone checked for a ring and then gave me a very firm "Señorita", despite having a baby with me. It was quite judgemental every time, actually. I was just a nanny but when people didn't know, they were often almost rude with the pointing out my unmarried ness.
    They do check rings like that here too! Hmm those old, traditional European ways.
    What if you don't wear a ring?
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  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas member
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    amelisha said:
    sunset30 said:
    I'm definitely a fan of Mrs. now that I'm married. I work with all adults so no one really uses titles professionally. For social correspondence, when customer service people address me (such as hotels,  etc.), I think Ms. is impersonal and prefer Mrs. I don't really view Mrs. as sexist, it just implies a woman who is married and that is what I am. 
    Here is an interesting article looking at language and how it can be sexist towards women.

    What's interesting is this sentence: By some accounts, the use of Mrs. to only refer to married women did not begin until the 19th century.  If people prefer Mrs. maybe there can be this transition where Mrs. becomes the standard for adult woman, married or not. 

    I think a lot of times people don't realize that our language is sexist.
    In Quebec it's like that. When I first moved there I didn't understand why they never used Mademoiselle (Miss) but used Madame for everything (which is Mrs/Madam/Ms). They are quite pro women there and every woman is just that. Married or not you stay Madame for everyone. It felt weird because to me. Madame MyLastName was my mother! Also, getting married is not a good enough reason to change your name to your husband's name in Quebec. They don't even do that there, so hyphenating is the most common thing to do (if you ever get married in Quebec since the norm is just living together/companions/partners which you can then describe as a de-facto spouse.

    ETA: I'm glad that I'm in UK now and that'll be so much easier to just take my FH's name :)
    This is interesting because in elementary school (Ontario), we called our unmarried French teachers Mademoiselle.

    In my Alberta French classes, "Mademoiselle" was only for the kids. All the teachers were "Madame", married or not. I noticed the same trend when I studied in Quebec too and I loved the simplicity of it too.

    When I lived in Spain I noticed the obvious. Everyone checked for a ring and then gave me a very firm "Señorita", despite having a baby with me. It was quite judgemental every time, actually. I was just a nanny but when people didn't know, they were often almost rude with the pointing out my unmarried ness.
    They do check rings like that here too! Hmm those old, traditional European ways.
    What if you don't wear a ring?

    They assume you're unmarried and treat you accordingly unless you tell them otherwise. And refuse to give up bus seats when you've got a baby in your arms and whisper "puta" to their friends, in my experience, lol.

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  • We had this convo today with FIs family.  I told them I would be Mrs. [FI's LAST NAME] and joked that it was easier to spell than my current name.

    I got a chorus of "Oh wow, that's great!" which confused me a bit as it felt like I said the 'right' thing, which would imply there was a right or wrong answer.  It could have been approval that I joined the 'club' or something, I'm not sure.
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  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche Ridin' the Zebra member
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    It's just kinda arbitrary to me because I never use a title anyway, but I do think it would be awesome if there was just one title for women, like there is for men.

    I think if I was a Dr. or a Prof. or something, I'd get upset if people called me anything else, because those are titles that you work for.

    But I honestly can't think of the last time anyone addressed me by anything other than my first name.
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