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DIY Wedding Forum
"Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" Boxes
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Re: "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" Boxes
I'm the fuck out.
I decorated the tops using ModPodge and scrapbook paper. I made the “logo” with my Cricut machine—a scrapbooking machine that looks like a paper but cuts out shapes, etc. Once it was all glued down, I tripped the edges with a bit of ribbon and added some pretty white lace and flowers.
Here’s all the goodies I packed inside!
First there’s the packet of papers—information on the dresses, the roles for the girls, a list of the bridesmaids (with phone numbers), info about the color scheme and “theme”, and a collage of inspiration photos.
Since it’s a winter wedding, I skipped the champagne & fancy glasses and included hand-painted mugs, hot cocoa, and Bailey’s. As far as the paining on glass thing—make sure you leave lots of time for the paint to dry in between coats or your first coat will move around and make a mess. They aren't exactly masterpieces, but I have heard that it is the thought that counts.
A few other things are included: macaroons (from the lovely French bakery in my town), a vintage handkerchief (I bought a cheap lot of them on Ebay and washed them—they are lovely!), a nail polish in a coordinating color, a sparkly snowflake (as opposed to a flower—yay winter weddings!), paint swatches in my colors, and this, rolled and tied with ribbon: Here it is:
I’m very happy with the way they turned out! I hope you like them too!
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These are really cute, but the bolded paragraph is hella concerning. Have you actually asked these women to be in your wedding party yet? Have you asked them individually for their budgets, or have you just decided on a dress and are requiring them to buy that one? Also, your party doesn't have "roles." Their only job is to get the correct dress (within their budget, which you should be asking them for) and show up on the day of the wedding to stand next to you. That's it. They are not your brideslaves, no matter what Pinterest tells you.
My vision is horrid. And enlarging these photos creates a blur that makes your "inserts" difficult to read. However, I am almost certain I can read that you have named "point persons" for your shower and bachelorette parties. It would also appear that you have requested that the other minions/BM's "follow their lead". You have also included a disclaimer statement as to how participating in a wedding is a lot of work for a BM as well as expensive.
I am almost grateful I cannot read the complete text.
OP, your wedding is not until 2017. It is WAY to early to be asking friends to be in your bridal party. You have made choices for things that directly impact your BM before knowing whether they will participate, and before speaking with them regarding their budgets.
It is not your girls that need to "get on board". I strongly encourage you to read/lurk these boards and figure out the difference between gracious bride/friend and bridezilla.
Good job on the DIY, but as others have said, you are putting them in an incredibly uncomfortable situation. And you are asking way way way too early.
It's way too early and you seem to have huge expectations of your bridesmaids. It's extraordinarily thoughtless to lay all of this on someone.
If you do this, I expect to see you posting here over the next few years about bridesmaids that disappoint and feelings of being deserted by your friends.
Remember: your bridesmaids are your friends, not your bitches.
But if I were on the receiving end of this specific box, I would run. I would run so far away. Except not, because I would feel extremely pressured and awkward and I would likely not feel like I could be honest and just silently resent you instead.
This box is overwhelming, and NOT in an "Oh, you're so sweet to give me these things to show how much our friendship means to you" kind of way. Overwhelming in a "WTF you controlling task master? You've already picked out what I'm supposed to wear without consulting me about what style or budget I'm even comfortable with, telling me I have to spend a lot of money on you, and already giving out my phone number to people without my permission or my even agreeing to be in your wedding yet?" I would be livid about the phone number especially. I am very picky about who I give my number to and if I wasn't close enough to the other bridesmaids for them to already have my number, I sure as heck wouldn't want you giving it out. They are (potentially) bridesmaids - that doesn't mean they have to be BFFs now. If they want to get together and coordinate something and give each other their phone numbers, that is their decision to make, not yours (And yes, I have stopped talking to people for giving out my phone number without my permission.)
Please, please, please scale this back and rethink your approach.
Well, since I'm kind of lurking, when is a good time to ask the girls to be a bridesmaid? And if they agree to do it, can you still send them a cute gift like a wine glass and small bottle of wine? Just trying to see what's right and wrong.
It's usually best to ask them 9-10 months before the wedding. That way, they have adequate time to purchase a dress and make arrangements as necessary. Friendships can change over time, so it's best to wait a bit before asking.
I'm the fuck out.