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Snarky Brides

The chicken nugget. (NSFW Language)

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Re: The chicken nugget. (NSFW Language)

  • I avoided this thread for so long thinking it would be about food poisoning or something. 

    Woo hoo!

    a) Met a guy at a bar in college who turned out to have his own "nugget". Usually I can be too nice for my own good, so the morning after we chit chatted and I left fully intending to never call. Well, our college town was small, and I saw him at the bar on Halloween dressed in a baby onesie (cringe!!) and he goes, "You never called me!" I was a bit shocked (and drunk) so I shrugged and turned away, and he walked away.  I felt bad, but nuggets aren't for me. 

    b) I had a friends-with-benefits relationship in college with a guy that, of course, I wanted more of a relationship from. That never ends well. He moved from telling me he didn't want a relationship to getting a girlfriend he'd met in class. Lo and behold I wasn't aware of that fact until after we slept together again. About a year after graduation the actual friendship ended. He married that girl. They officially divorced a month ago and he already had a new girlfriend (thanks, Facebook!).  Clearly I dodged a bullet. 

    Now, I've been really lucky with dating even though it took awhile to finally meet DH. So, onto two friends' stories. 
    a) My roommate broke up with a bodybuilder. What's the male version of a butter face? He had a butter face. When she said she was ending things, he gestured to his muscled torso and said, "YOU'RE breaking up with THIS?"  Uh.... yes.  

    b) Another friend hooked up with a cute guy in one of our sorority's preferred fraternities (meaning we were friends with most of the guys and several girls had boyfriends in the house).  She came back one night and said he, well, treated her lady parts like a dog treats a chewtoy. Picture shaking your head side to side and growling!
    Ew!  He was henceforth given the nickname "Chewtoy."  Never saw him again after graduation. 
    TRUTH.
  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    beethery said:

    I do not get a phone call. Instead I get a text that says, "We want to hear how this ends. Put it on the family card, because you are sticking this out for our entertainment.

    I'm dying. That sounds like something my family would do lol
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    [Deleted User]larrygagaNegativityslothiegal
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I'm not going to lie, it's awesome when a guy makes legit money in a legit way. However, nothing is more of a turnoff than bragging about it. EW
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  • Oh hell, I have some stories! 

    Around my junior year in hs I partied A LOT.  Well, one night a friend picks me up from work and we're going to a party,she has a tiny truck, so the whole ride there I'm sitting on this dudes lap and he's telling me about how much he loves his gf.  Okay, no problemo dude, you're hot, but I won't try if you're attached.  We arrive at the party and he tells me he'll be my 'bf for the night'.  Sure, whatever, I'll play your silly game.  We end up fucking, and he passes out or leaves or something.  Eh, whatever.  His brother is at this party as well, just as hot, and seems interested.

    The next morning, I'm up wandering the house, since hangovers tend to wake me up around 7am, and here is little brother, still half drunk and hitting on me.  The bedrooms are all occupied, so we opt for the bathroom counter and start going at it.  At some point, he says to me 'I know I'm not as big as my brother, I hope you don't mind'.

    I have more, but I also have a wedding in two days that I really should be getting shit done for. (Read: I'm going to play Dragon Age II and crochet through the cut scenes)
  • lulu411 said:
    beethery said:

    I do not get a phone call. Instead I get a text that says, "We want to hear how this ends. Put it on the family card, because you are sticking this out for our entertainment.

    I'm dying. That sounds like something my family would do lol
    My fav line as well.
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    My ex openly bragged about having a 2-inch dick. We broke up because my career aspirations didn't include an illegal pot farm, like his did.

    Then there was the guy my parents still refer to as Charles Manson (serious look alike), who I soon found out was sleeping with at least 2 other girls at any given time during our relationship.  The relationship ended when he stole my rent money for drugs... and of course denied it. 

     

     

    image 

  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2014

    My ex openly bragged about having a 2-inch dick. We broke up because my career aspirations didn't include an illegal pot farm, like his did.

    Then there was the guy my parents still refer to as Charles Manson (serious look alike), who I soon found out was sleeping with at least 2 other girls at any given time during our relationship.  The relationship ended when he stole my rent money for drugs... and of course denied it.


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    How the fuck is that something to BRAG about???????
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    rajahmdashley8918
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    beethery said:

    My ex openly bragged about having a 2-inch dick. We broke up because my career aspirations didn't include an illegal pot farm, like his did.

    Then there was the guy my parents still refer to as Charles Manson (serious look alike), who I soon found out was sleeping with at least 2 other girls at any given time during our relationship.  The relationship ended when he stole my rent money for drugs... and of course denied it.


    image

    How the fuck is that something to BRAG about???????
    I know, right?!?!?  In my defense, 2 inches wasn't fully erect status (he didn't inform people of that when bragging though), but it didn't get much better than that and was certainly below average. But, if you are going to brag about size, make sure you have something to brag about, or at least use an accurate measurement. 

    image 

  • I don't know, maybe if the nuggets bragged, they'd be easier to avoid.
    princessleia22Negativityejpentecost
  • AlmsiviAlmsivi member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    beethery said:


    asherbugg said:

    beethery said:

    @wrigleyville Dark Elf makes me think that he was too into Morrowind or something and now I am self-conscious about my enjoyment of the Elder Scrolls games.

    also

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK


    I'm sorry that this is so late but my first ever post on this site definitely had to be that there is never a reason to be self conscious about loving any of  the Elder Scrolls games. Also, you are hilarious!


    @asherbugg welcome to TK (and snarky brides) sweetheart! I'm not actually shamed of my enjoyment of TES. In fact, I played ESO most of the day today and did very little else. Grown-up gaming life is good.

    You picked a good post for your first one to participate in <3
    I'm sorry to interrupt the hilarious stories, but I had to high-five you guys for the TES love. I'm a huge fan myself, in case the username doesn't give it away, and it's really nice to see others around here :)

    As for stories...hm. A high-school ex once tried to convince me to give him a hand job in a church parking lot. While he gagged himself.
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Almsivi said:
    I'm sorry to interrupt the hilarious stories, but I had to high-five you guys for the TES love. I'm a huge fan myself, in case the username doesn't give it away, and it's really nice to see others around here :) As for stories...hm. A high-school ex once tried to convince me to give him a hand job in a church parking lot. While he gagged himself.
    image

    Girl!
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
  • My only good story to throw in here is from when I was in HS. The summer I was 16 I met a guy - he was really interested in me, I thought he was cute. However, 3 weeks later I was leaving the country for a year-long study abroad program on another continent. I made this very clear to him. He still asked me out. I was 16 and hadn't dated much, so I said yes.

    Flashforward 2 weeks later. We're in the back seat of his mom's car as she drives me home (neither of us was old enough to have our license yet since in our state you needed to be 16.5). He reaches over, grabs my hand, and mouths the words "I love you." 2 weeks of dating - I think we had hung out maybe 3 times. Love? Really? I mouthed back something along the lines of "Uh, thanks," probably with major deer-in-headlights face.

    Flashforward again to me studying abroad on another continent. Every month I was there (10 total) he sent me a new mixed-CD in the mail. Each CD was given the title "Songs I'd Sing to You: Volume #." So I have 10 volumes of cheesy R&B songs. I would like to point out, this was after a long conversation we had prior to my departure in which I said repeatedly "We need to break up - I'm leaving the country for almost an entire year - please go out and date other people - do not wait for me to come back, because we're both going to probably change a lot this year - we will not be dating still when I get back - etc." He told me he'd wait for me forever. Gag. While I was gone, other than the CDs, there was no communication between us.

    Once I was back stateside again, random gifts started showing up in my mailbox. The weirdest one was a pocket watch. Why would a 17 year old girl need/want a pocket watch? No idea. Then he started showing up places he thought I would be to try to see me (he didn't call me, he just tried to randomly find me). He finally got lucky and found me once. He had with him a poem he had written about his eternal love for me and a giant teddy bear. This was a year after I had broken up with him. And when he saw me, he started crying. Sigh.

    I eventually got through to him - then I heard he did the same routine with a girl in college. Apparently he eventually wore her down with his professions of love, as they're now married with two kids. 
    image
  • Oh wow. Your story just reminded me about a guy I dated when I was like 20. Told me he loved me after a week, had probably gone out like twice haha.

    Then there was this guy I worked with. He's like 10 years older than me, lives with his mom and has never gotten his drivers license. I worked at this place for like 9 years and the entire time he was trying to get me to date him. One time he thought giving me a cd of his favorite music would do the trick. Was 2 full cds of star wars music, he even wrote down all the track names. He would also give my mom candy and then ask if she still though he was too old for me. (I worked with my mom at the time)
    doeydo
  • B/F from college was...shall we say...a bit on the small side, but at least not a nugget.  And what was even funnier is he was a pretty big dude...6'1" 300 pounds of mostly muscle...so the size comparison was even worse for him.

    He was a bit self conscious about his size and was in a room in the library hanging out with friends one day (I wasn't there) when random factoid came out that the average size is 4.5".  He starts excitedly announcing, "I'm average! I'm average!"  What he didn't realize was EVERYONE could hear their conversation and a mutual friend who worked at the library walked in and told him, "We're all glad you're average, but please keep your voice down."

    So, his friends relate this story to me.  One of them expressed surprise that he would have said this because the guy is normally such a braggard (and, oh he was!).  To which my response was to laugh and say, "For him to say he is average IS bragging!"  

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  • Came for the sex stories, stayed for the Elder Scrolls talk


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    beetherylarrygagaInkdancer
  • And it doesn't help that the character on the BK ad who is over the top excited about the deal, is an extra dorky, effeminate looking man-boy.  The first time I saw it, my first thought was (relating back to this thread), "Yeah, he looks like he can relate to a chicken nugget, lol."  
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  • I'm late to the party, but this thread is fantastic. I just discovered Snarky Brides yesterday & it is a virtual gold mine of comedy. Best threads on TK, hands down. I've got a few stories of my own.

    First major relationship was with my high school sweetheart. 8 years, totally dysfunctional relationship, but I was young and in love and just didn't know any better. 2 DUIs later, I finally cheated on him and broke up with him. Totally dodged a bullet with this guy... since I lost my virginity to him, I didn't realize how ill-equipped he was, and how untalented he was with his lack of equipment. And 6 years post break up, he still reaches out to me 2-3 times a year. I always ignore it, and he still keeps trying.

    Between HS sweetheart & FI, I dated (read: slept with) several men. Just enjoyed being single and being me and not worrying. I met one guy that I went out with a couple of times. I knew on the first date this wouldn't be a long term or serious relationship, but he was fun enough to hang out with. I could tell by his personality that he was dating other women, which was fine by me because I wasn't interested in anything serious. He would make plans, then break them, or wait until Thursday night to make weekend plans. If I was free, I'd hang out, if not, then I wouldn't. No big deal. He wasn't anything amazing in bed, but he was better than my ex so what the heck? He randomly texted me one day to tell me he didn't think he could give me the time commitment I was looking for. I just said "Okay. Have a nice life." A few weeks later, he drunk dialed me and invited me over. He asked me to stay the night. Okay whatever. I did. I was moving 4 hours away a couple of weeks later, and he cancelled the only other plans we had between that night and me moving. After I moved, he would call or text me every couple of weeks to try to have phone sex/solicit boob pics/make plans for me to visit him/etc. Even after I started dating my now FI, he kept texting & calling even though I kept telling him I was in a relationship. Once I moved 700 miles away to be with my now FI/then boyfriend, he finally seemed to realize I was in a serious relationship and finally left me alone.

    Another guy I dated around this time lived about an hour south of me, in a small town. He came into the city to meet women because the women in his small town were all toothless hicks. He was very disparaging about men who work in offices and don't work with their hands (he was a mechanic). He was very judgmental about the small town mentality/culture, but when he offered to take me to dinner, he suggested Applebee's. We were in Atlanta - why on earth would you come into Atlanta to take a woman on a first date at Applebees? Like going to Italy and finding a Pizza Hut for dinner. I suggested an awesome restaurant & raw bar overlooking a historical cemetery that has amazing food. He was overwhelmed by the food because it was all so high-falutin', and settled on a fried chicken salad with honey mustard dressing. I gave him a chance for a second date, and on the way, he asked me what I liked to drink. When we got to the bar, he kept ordering drinks for me. Normally, that wouldn't irritate me, but he got my freaking drink wrong. That was the end of that.

    The weekend before I met my now FI, I had just moved to a new town where I didn't know anybody and thought I'd try online dating to meet people. The first guy I went out with seemed super nice. A little dweeby, not exactly a catch but not bad looking. He held doors open for me, pulled my chair out for me, paid for dinner, listened to everything I said, super nice. And boring. We got back to my house, and we ended up making out. I was bored & horny, so we ended up in bed. A few minutes in, the condom is falling off. He takes it off, and then comes at me again without asking if I'm comfortable going condom-less (I'M NOT!). I say "What the fuck are you doing?!" He gets this dreamy look in his eyes and says "I can already tell you are special and we are going somewhere. I trust you." Um.... I don't trust you. I tell him to get the hell off of me because I am not comfortable going bareback. He leaves, then texts me as soon as he is home, asking when we can arrange for his family and friends to meet me, for me to see his apartment, etc etc. He has the next two days off, so can we hang out the whole time? I finally said "You're nice, but I don't think we are looking for the same thing." Then he got super angry, called me a slut, and questioned why I was on a dating site if I wasn't looking for "the one."

    Then there was the alpha.... this guy always wore a tight black undershirt tucked into Wranglers with cowboy boots & cowboy hat. He was a bartender at a bar my friends & I frequented. Anytime he saw me talking to another guy, he would interrupt and intimidate the other guy into leaving. He would then explain to me how he is an alpha and the guy I was talking to wasn't an alpha. I don't want a freaking alpha in the first place. We invited him along for a trip to the beach one day, and he spent the entire afternoon showing off tricks in the water in his JORTS, then at some point decided I wasn't paying enough attention to him so he stormed off POUTING! My friend made me chase after him and beg him to come back so there wouldn't be a scene. Then, he offered to take me on a tour of the city because his family has lived there for generations and I was new to town. He informed me he was a mason & spent the next 2 hours pointing out mason symbols on buildings. We passed a random guy on the street, he said hi to the guy like he knew him, and once we were out of earshot whispered to me "He's a mason, too. I shouldn't really be telling you that."


  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 2014
    Then there was the alpha.... this guy always wore a tight black undershirt tucked into Wranglers with cowboy boots & cowboy hat. He was a bartender at a bar my friends & I frequented. Anytime he saw me talking to another guy, he would interrupt and intimidate the other guy into leaving. He would then explain to me how he is an alpha and the guy I was talking to wasn't an alpha. I don't want a freaking alpha in the first place. We invited him along for a trip to the beach one day, and he spent the entire afternoon showing off tricks in the water in his JORTS, then at some point decided I wasn't paying enough attention to him so he stormed off POUTING! My friend made me chase after him and beg him to come back so there wouldn't be a scene. Then, he offered to take me on a tour of the city because his family has lived there for generations and I was new to town. He informed me he was a mason & spent the next 2 hours pointing out mason symbols on buildings. We passed a random guy on the street, he said hi to the guy like he knew him, and once we were out of earshot whispered to me "He's a mason, too. I shouldn't really be telling you that."


    This dipshit here thought he was an alpha. That is insecure beta behavior aaaaaalllll day long. 

    What a weirdo!
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    carrie0924PineapplePopsicles
  • beethery said:
    Then there was the alpha.... this guy always wore a tight black undershirt tucked into Wranglers with cowboy boots & cowboy hat. He was a bartender at a bar my friends & I frequented. Anytime he saw me talking to another guy, he would interrupt and intimidate the other guy into leaving. He would then explain to me how he is an alpha and the guy I was talking to wasn't an alpha. I don't want a freaking alpha in the first place. We invited him along for a trip to the beach one day, and he spent the entire afternoon showing off tricks in the water in his JORTS, then at some point decided I wasn't paying enough attention to him so he stormed off POUTING! My friend made me chase after him and beg him to come back so there wouldn't be a scene. Then, he offered to take me on a tour of the city because his family has lived there for generations and I was new to town. He informed me he was a mason & spent the next 2 hours pointing out mason symbols on buildings. We passed a random guy on the street, he said hi to the guy like he knew him, and once we were out of earshot whispered to me "He's a mason, too. I shouldn't really be telling you that."


    This dipshit here thought he was an alpha. That is insecure beta behavior aaaaaalllll day long. 

    What a weirdo!
    Yep.  A real alpha would never state that he's an alpha.




    image
    beetherycarrie0924
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    I have no idea how I missed this thread.  Oh my WORD.

    1) Ex-FI was my first and, thankfully, he was pretty dang good.  Eventually.  The first few times we tried, he couldn't get it up and chalked it up to 'being intimidated' by me and 'how wonderful' I was.  Dude.  I'm 22 and you're 13 years older than I am.  I'm not buying it.  The last time before we actually got it done, he got fed up by not being hard enough and decided to go down on me.  Which would have been fine - if I wasn't feeling overwhelmed and insecure and ohmygoshthisisthefirsttimethishashappened and I don't know if I like it or not.  He was also completely convinced that he was the ABSOLUTE best at giving head, and everyone he's ever done it to has absolutely loved it.  It wasn't my favourite, or even in the top three.  Eventually we do end up actually having sex, and it was pretty great for my first time.  After I asked if he had come, because, again, I've never done this before, and he laughed and PATTED MY HEAD and said no.

    2) I had a chicken nugget!  He was a fellow geek who threw a house party.  I had announced earlier that I was going to sleep in his bed because the house was full and I wasn't sleeping on the floor.  I went to bed before he did, and when he got there he got all handsy and saying things like 'let my hands bring you to ecstasy'.  Dude.  Eventually I just got on top and started rubbing so I could go to sleep, and I could tell through my shorts that there weren't nothin' there.

    3) Didn't get any further than making out with this guy, because it was like making out with a cross between a toddler and a Golden Retriever.  HE LICKED MY CHIN.  Done.

    4) In the middle of a major dry spell, I was away for training for my job.  A guy I was pretty close to graduated before I did, so I went to visit him for a weekend.  We had been dirty texting leading up to the visit, and I was going to make this happen one way or another.  Well, this guy was how I found out that the gentlemen are not necessarily proportional.  He was 6'3" and an absolute Adonis.  The arms, the chest, the legs, the ass... you'd think he'd be packing.  Nope.  About the size of my index finger, fully erect.  When I was recapping with my friends afterwards, I said something along the lines of 'body of a dragon, penis of a gecko'.  He was nicknamed the Gecko ever afterwards.

    5) Still while I was training, there was another guy who qualified for the Adonis category - and the scuttlebutt around the guys in our training group was that he was the biggest around, which totally got to his head.  So the night before we graduated we decided to have a bit of fun - took his pants off to see that... nope, sorry honey, you're just a show-er.  You're actually average.  It took everything I had not to laugh and try to do what I could - which wasn't much, because 'yeeeeeah, I've already jerked off three times today'.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    beetherycarrie0924doeydoesstee33
  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    The weekend before I met my now FI, I had just moved to a new town where I didn't know anybody and thought I'd try online dating to meet people. The first guy I went out with seemed super nice. A little dweeby, not exactly a catch but not bad looking. He held doors open for me, pulled my chair out for me, paid for dinner, listened to everything I said, super nice. And boring. We got back to my house, and we ended up making out. I was bored & horny, so we ended up in bed. A few minutes in, the condom is falling off. He takes it off, and then comes at me again without asking if I'm comfortable going condom-less (I'M NOT!). I say "What the fuck are you doing?!" He gets this dreamy look in his eyes and says "I can already tell you are special and we are going somewhere. I trust you." Um.... I don't trust you. I tell him to get the hell off of me because I am not comfortable going bareback. He leaves, then texts me as soon as he is home, asking when we can arrange for his family and friends to meet me, for me to see his apartment, etc etc. He has the next two days off, so can we hang out the whole time? I finally said "You're nice, but I don't think we are looking for the same thing." Then he got super angry, called me a slut, and questioned why I was on a dating site if I wasn't looking for "the one."

    The bolded made me laugh out loud, because I'm totally with you. Oh, those guys that fall in love in the first 3 seconds... lol


    3) Didn't get any further than making out with this guy, because it was like making out with a cross between a toddler and a Golden Retriever.  HE LICKED MY CHIN.  Done.

    I had one of these. I remember being 22 at the time, and he was 26, and omghewassoterrible!! I felt like he was trying to swallow my head! I remember thinking, "How have you made it through life this long being this bad of a kisser?!"
    Anniversary



    carrie0924
  • beethery said:
    Then there was the alpha.... this guy always wore a tight black undershirt tucked into Wranglers with cowboy boots & cowboy hat. He was a bartender at a bar my friends & I frequented. Anytime he saw me talking to another guy, he would interrupt and intimidate the other guy into leaving. He would then explain to me how he is an alpha and the guy I was talking to wasn't an alpha. I don't want a freaking alpha in the first place. We invited him along for a trip to the beach one day, and he spent the entire afternoon showing off tricks in the water in his JORTS, then at some point decided I wasn't paying enough attention to him so he stormed off POUTING! My friend made me chase after him and beg him to come back so there wouldn't be a scene. Then, he offered to take me on a tour of the city because his family has lived there for generations and I was new to town. He informed me he was a mason & spent the next 2 hours pointing out mason symbols on buildings. We passed a random guy on the street, he said hi to the guy like he knew him, and once we were out of earshot whispered to me "He's a mason, too. I shouldn't really be telling you that."


    This dipshit here thought he was an alpha. That is insecure beta behavior aaaaaalllll day long. 

    What a weirdo!
    Yep.  A real alpha would never state that he's an alpha.
    Exactly my thoughts.... alphas don't have to tell you they are alphas. Just like people who say "I'm an adult... I don't do drama" are typically the biggest drama whores on the planet.
    wrigleyville
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    beethery said:
    I love "Jezebel". The comments always remind me of TK. :)

    beethery
  • I've only had one major relationship before FI, but it was a doozy. It started when I was 15 and ended when I was 22. He was five years older than me. It was an extreme LDR, and it mainly lasted as long as it did because he was very far away and basically got by on his British accent, which made him sound a lot smarter. Seriously, I think he was actually mentally challenged. Towards the end of our relationship we were trying to get one of us a Visa to live with the other, and it basically came down to the reality that neither of us had the skills necessary to get a work visa, and neither of us needed more school (well, he did, but he refused to go), so our only chance, according to a lawyer I spoke to, was a marriage visa. Which I thankfully decided we couldn't do.

    Eventually I got a job after college that required me to move across the country. During the drive, over in his country, he'd talked to a lawyer on his own who pretty much told him a load of bullshit. He told me that all that he needed to do to get to this country was to come in, get an "under the table" job, and just not go home. Apparently this "lawyer" told him that it was legal because he wouldn't be paying taxes. Which, you know, is one of the reasons why it ISN'T legal. It was at that moment I finally realized, "Oh my God. This guy's an actual moron." I had wasted my most hormonal teenage years pining after him and had even lost my virginity to him. I was convinced he was the one, basically because he had a cool accent. Ay yi yi.

    So I broke up with him and during the breakup conversation mentioned that his plan was not only wildly illegal, but that it would get me in trouble as well and I'd lose my job and basically everything I'd worked for and could go to jail for aiding and abetting. He kept insisting it wasn't illegal and I finally asked him what made him think it wasn't. His response, "Because I wouldn't do something like that to you."

    He then tried to win me back with crappy homemade poetry and metaphors. Something about it not being about how high the mountain is but about...something. I dunno. It was awful and I realized that sort of shit had worked wonders on me when I was 15.
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